Is My Routine Excessive?

Enjoy them when you are young. Yes they can skip baths if something exciting is going on or a song missed etc. But also do it while you can and enjoy her company because one day she will be a teenager.

At 9 months old, I don't know that any bedtime routine (or other pleasant activity) is excessive, so long as baby and parent enjoy it. IF you resented it, my response would be different - as in - try something different.

i'm glad you enjoy singing to her because you will probably be doing it for a very long time to come. the best advice i got when i was pregnant the first time was to NEVER rock (or do anything) to put your child to sleep. Put them to bed (in their OWN bed...gasp!!) awake and they will learn to put themselves to sleep. best new mom advice i ever got. my kids slept from the first week for 12 hours straight until they were almost 3. they are now 11 and 8 and have always been good sleepers. i just think thats a habit you do not want to start and probalby have time to stop it now. good luck!

Your routine could actually be making it harder for her to fall asleep, since there's so much to it! She doesn't need a bath every night, and even just water can dry out her skin. And reading should mostly be a daytime activity, with just 1 bedtime story at night (or you're teaching her to fall asleep reading! lol).

I know it's routine, but it is time to change your routine. Brush teeth, pjs, story, song and cuddle, with lights out within 30 minutes of when you start (even if she isn't asleep, you can stay and sing quietly a bit longer after lights out). And always hugs and kisses - my kids still do the hugs and kisses every night, even now (7-12 years old).

I think that your routine sounds like a lovely way for you and your baby to end your day together. If it works for her and isn't getting in the way of you doing what you need to do, then it's fine. All of your points are valid. Now if the length of time is stressing you out or means that you can't get other things done, stay up too late, don't have any time for your husband, etc. then maybe you need to change things up but if it's working for you, go with it.

I'm actually impressed you can get all that done in an hour! lol! It sounds like you are really enjoying it, and I'm sure your little one is too, so more power to you!

I say if it works for you and you have time then do it. The nighttime routine I have with my boys is one of my favorite times of the day!! When we do bath/shower it takes almost an hour of our evening and when we skip bath/shower our routine is about 30 min.
I work all day so this "connection" before bed is extremely important to me and I cherish it! I find if I rush our routine it's harder to get them settled and takes them longer to go to sleep (after I leave). My boys are 6 1/2 and 2 1/2 and even if they stay at Grandma's they know the "routine" and ask her to do it :)

If you can do all that in an hour then why not!? I gave/give my kids a bath every night. Baby stuff is hard stinky work lol. I just feel like they are more relaxed when they are clean and in fresh jammies. An hour of time to spend with baby like that is a blip. Enjoy the sweet time together. I relished my night routine with my little ones and still do and they are 6 and 2!

Hi R.,

I wouldn't use the word excessive, but that's a lot of stuff! I would suggest moving bathtime to the early afternoon or another time. Bath play is very fun, and while it can be soothing, some parents find that as their children get older and enjoy bathtime more, it does have the potential to go on for a long time, and they can be resistant (esp. when they are tired) to *getting out* of the tub. If you are out in the evenings, making bath/massage a solid part of the routine can make the whole routine take considerably longer. My philosophy is simple when I have to cut corners due to time: I drop the earliest parts of the routine (in your case, the bath/massage) and keep consistent the parts closest to her going to sleep (the stories and songs. I like to keep it to three songs, and then, quiet, mama! :))

Sometimes, our husbands think that our presence sometimes keeps our babies awake longer. I know this is certainly true for some preschoolers! They need US to disengage, so they can feel free to rest.

I'd also talk with your husband about finding some middle ground so he can help with bedtime. The day my husband and I started trading off days for putting Kiddo to bed-- well, that was pretty freakin' awesome! And when our guys are gone all day, this is one way to have connection with their wee ones.

Or maybe he's just missing you a little bit and needs you to pamper HIM too!:)

TOTALLY Normal... and even a *lot* less than what many parents I know do. Many parents I know spend over an hour *after* bath/nursing.

For myself... nursing alone took 45 minutes, and then it was 45 minutes burping (on average for both). And bathtime was generally 20-30. So that had me at 2 hours. When he was young enough to need burping, he usually fell asleep then. When he outgrew it, I still spent about 30 minutes. Which had me at 1.5 hours.

You're right... they grow up *quick*. By the time my son was a toddler it was bath, poem, kisses bed. (10 minutes tops not including bath time).

Baths are GREAT, for exactly the same reasons you mentioned PLUS it relaxes their muscles. Even when kids come out of the bath in full giggle their muscles have been relaxed to the point where it's easy for them to fall asleep by about a gazillion times faster than without a bath after a normal day.

Maybe you should just get your husband involved in her bedtime routine more. Once my husband started putting our little man to sleep at around 10 months, they bonded so much. He is now 2 years old and we have a 5 month old daughter and we switch off nights putting each to bed. Both of my kids (both breastfed also) are in love with their Daddy because he gets to soothe them to sleep too. Just a thought!

I think it is fine. I have a 6 month old and I do solid food, bath, lotion and dress, then nurse and sing/prayers. It usually takes about 45 min as well as she nurses about 20 minutes most nights. My son is 3 and we still use the same basic routine for him, snack, bath, lotion and dress, a book or two, rock and sing/pray, bed. His is usually about 30 minutes. I think that as she gets older some things (like nursing) will fall away and bedtime will stream line. LIke you said, sometimes you might not read 3 books, sometimes it doesn't take as much time to sing. I think if it works for you and she is going to bed and staying there and you don't have issues with her waking up and needing you to do these things to fall asleep (i.e. doesn't self soothe) then don't worry about it! Enjoy the little moments you can get while she lets you!

It has only been a couple of months since I was there myself and I can't imagine doing all that in an hour!!!

I personally never wanted to bathe my children every night--it seemed to cause them to have dry skin, but I always nursed, then rocked or read a book. Also, I just don't like to mess with the ears unless there is an obvious need to, but other than that, if you have the time and energy, then go for it.

On a side note, perhaps your husband is a little jealous. If he feels his needs are being neglected because you are doting on the baby, then maybe you need to make sure you are giving attention too. I know it is stereotypical, but men are very physical. It is important to make time for your husband because the best gift you can give your children is a happy and stable marriage!

I think it is a lot but I would not say "excessive". I don't have that much time or want to do that much every single night. the nursing and bedtime routine is a must each night but the massage and ear cleaning and even the nightly bath can be skipped. I think you should do whatever you want to do b/c they are only little once and they grow up so fast. But, keep in mind that after about a year old, things become habit and if you continue the singing, etc she will expect it and as they get older, and you get older and more tired, etc you may at some point wish that you had not started that habit. Our son required us to sing him to sleep every single night until we finally had to start a new routine. Do what you want, maybe your husband wants more time with you. :o)

id personally probably read just one book and bush her teeth everyother night especially if she only has one or two teeth and only do a massage if it seems like she is just tense and needs a little relaxation

i think you should enjoy the time while you can. one day she isn't going to want to do these things. mom of 7, R.

LOVE your routine! I gave my baby a bath every night, as well and we still do take a bath or shower every night (occasionally we don't, but only if something is going on that precludes us from doing it). My daughter always loved the water and still does - she's 5! 45 minutes to an hour is not excessive. Routines and consistency are very reassuring to babies and children. Enjoy it. What everyone says is so true - the time is fleeting and they really do grow up just that fast! Oh, and I completely disagree with the M. that posted re: not reading to your child before bed. That has not been our experience. We have always read, still do and it does not wind her up.

My kids are 4 and 2 and it still takes me a long time to get them ready for bed. It is a nice time to spend with your kids. Singing to your infant is really good for her so I would not stop that. She doesn't need a bath every night but if she enjoys it, there is nothing wrong with it. If it is working for you and her, I would stick with it. Maybe your husband just wants a little extra attention :)

You are doing great!! She will only we little once. My daughter is 8 and I wish I could go back and do a lot more for her than I did. I did a lot for her because she had acid reflux and colic really bad but I could have done more. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. Your daughter will never forget how much you cared for her. This story melted my heart.

That doesn't seem excessive to me. You both seem to enjoy it, so go for it. You should tell your husband to wait until you add more children to the mix. Then the routines last even longer and you don't get to do as much. I've got four kiddos and the biggest thing we work on is getting teeth brushed, reading to them and turning lights out by 8.

I think what youre doing is great, my son used to love baths before bed and he'd pretty much pass out after his bath lol But now he gets so hyper after his baths and its like he rebuilds his energy (he's 2 1/2) so we dont do baths before bed anymore, and no way does he like me to sing to him anymore either lol So I say one day she will grow out of some things that youre doing, and you should just enjoy that time with your baby as long as you can cause they grow up fast, enjoy your time!

I think your routine is great. I also give my son a bath every night since he was a baby,he is now 3.5yrs.
You seem to enjoy it and of course the baby does.
You should give yourself a big pat on the back for being a great mother!!!
All the best
B.

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Its sounds like you both are enjoying it. Sounds quite peaceful to me. ;) Tell hubby to mind his bizness. lol I used to read to my baby for HOURS, even after she was alseep. Cherish it while you can, because when more kids come you want have time to do that for all of them.

Lovely to be with your baby, enjoy it.

Enjoy it while you can! They grow up SO quickly. At this point in my life, I just wish I had the time and patience to have the long, structured bedtime routine. It's not near as peaceful with three of them, but just as loving. Have fun!!!

It isn't excessive, in my opinion. I recently was caring for my 9-month old great-nephew for several weeks. Come to think of it the whole evening was essentially a routine. We'd go on our nature walk late-afternoon, early evening. No hurry. Then home for him to eat, bath time, (yes, it is also play time in the bath), teeth time, book time, lullabye time, and sleep. So, it was pretty similar to yours.

And that sounds the same as when my own now-adult children were young, as well.

Even when they were older and started having homework - right before bed was definitely not homework time. It was FAMILY time, RELAXATION time, READING time....

Hey - perhaps the missing piece is "family." Perhaps have a piece of the routine that includes hubby?