Is This a Normal Behaviour for a 3 Yo?

Sounds like too much stimulation and change of routine. I know the parties mean well, but for a child, this upset of routine, along with music and noise, is traumatic. I had the same experience with my 3 YO.

I know that the other posters are telling you that this is normal behavior. I'm sorry, but I disagree. I think that the biting and repeating and raging is over the top and that you need to get him some help.

If you can record on your cell phone some of what you are detailing here, you can show the pediatrician (not in front of your child) and ask for help. I think that having an evaluation would be very helpful to you.

Please don't just let this go on. Get some help with him.

He's 3, and in Kindergarten?

I would get him evaluated to make sure that he doesn't have an underlying medical/developmental problems before trying any solutions.

If he is completely healthy and has no developmental issues causing this behavior, then I would say that it is time for you to re-evaluate your disciplinary tactics. If he is throwing a fit, don't bother trying to get him to stop. The attention is what he is seeking, even if it is negative. I usually put my 3 yo in her room when she is behaving like this, and tell her that she can come out when she is calm. I don't completely ignore her; I usually check in on her every 5-10 minutes (depending on the severity of the tantrum) to remind her that she can come out when she calms down.

If she is crying about needing something, I give her the resource to fix it herself. (Running nose? Here is a tissue.)

Also, do not give in to his tantrums/offer rewards to stop... All that does is to teach him that tantrums will get him stuff. (So, no gluing the paper back. Explain that he ripped it, and now it can't be fixed. Good lesson on the consequences of his actions.)

Hitting and biting are NOT tolerated, and immediately result in the loss of whatever we were doing (toy, game, park, etc.) and a time out, along with a stern talking to. (We don't bite, it hurts people! It's not nice at all. Instead, we use our words to say what is wrong.)

ETA: these behaviors ARE normal in 3 year olds, and most exhibit them at some point... But if this is something that is going on ALL the time I would definitely get him evaluated.

He's 3. He can't express himself really well so he gets agitated, has a tantrum, bites, hits, has a meltdown. Santa gets kids all revved up anyway, as does any kind of special occasion like a party - any disruption in the routine. And telling a child has HAS to do something like sing, recite or otherwise perform can trigger a reaction. If he gets upset, he may not want to be seen crying, so he says his nose is running.

You don't have to fix everything that's broken. If the paper is ripped, you don't have to tell him it's ruined or that you will fix it - only that you are putting it aside to deal with later, and right now you want to get him to settle himself down. You can try to help him put his feelings into words - get down to his level and look him in the eye. Try some relaxation techniques and use them every time, the same calming words or hugs.

You have to stop the biting and hitting, which means he must LOSE your attention and focus if he does those things. It's normal behavior, but you have to teach him that there is no payoff for it. Resist the urge to over-discuss it because kids at that age really tune you out. It's just too much stimulation for them to process. Put him in the carseat, or in his room, or leave the place where you are (playground, store, friend's house, whatever) the second there is hitting or biting. Have a simple statement like "No bites" - and make it immediately clear, no matter how inconvenient this is for you, that he's going to be taken away from wherever he is. Putting a kid in a car seat and then standing alongside the car where he can see you but not talk to you is very effective. It might take 3 or 4 or 10 tries, but it will work if you are consistent.

Try not to worry too much about this meaning anything serious - it's so typical for this age.

Sometimes, kids just get overwhelmed, tired, hungry, scared, whatever. So I would cut your losses and take him out of the event.

I would try not to schedule big things when he is tired or hungry or make things a really big deal.

Kids will repeat things, too. You can say, "Yes, honey, that's very funny. I heard you." And maybe teach him a new joke.

If he bites or hits, then immediately put him in time out. And show him the Yo Gabba Gabba video about don't bite your friends.

Sometimes, when there's a fit going on, just walk away. Or pick him up, put him in his room, and close the door. I tell my DD when she's ready to use her words she can come talk to me. In the meantime, I have no need for that behavior.

When DD was 4, she had such a fit I left for NYE without her. She and DH stayed home. She remembers that. So if it's hard to do some of these things, remember the long view.

My youngest had major tantrums at that age, and often precipitated by a change in routine, such as a party, any kind of travel, etc. Also, I distinctly remember that she was TERRIFIED of Santa - in absolute hysterics at the mere thought of seeing him. She was also terrified of all of the Disney characters when we went to Disneyland, like Mickey, Minnie, etc. She was always happiest when we did the same things at the same time every day, with no deviation. Even the slightest thing would set her off into a major tantrum. It seemed so bizarre to me, because my older daughter never did this.

So, fast forward to now. This child is 8 years old and has always been "difficult." Come to find out she has ADHD combined (both hyperactivity and inattention). This whole time we always figured we were just failing as parents, or that she was just trying to be difficult, or was spoiled, or something. No, she is just wired differently.

Your son is a bit young to be diagnosed with ADHD (if that's what's going on), but my thought is that it couldn't hurt to take him to the pediatrician. Some of this might be within the realm of normal for his age, and he may just outgrow it, but then again... maybe not. For us, our daughter is not currently on any medication for her ADHD, but we have found some ways of coping with it as a family, which is helpful. Anyhow, start at the doctor's office and go from there. Hang in there, it will be okay!

3 is a tough year. My son was very fragile and tantrummy at 3. Flipped out like you wouldn't believe if the wind blew on him.

I'd say, there's about a 90-95 percent chance this is just a completely normal case of the "terrible 3s." And, maybe, a 5-10 percent chance that he has a very mild issue that makes it hard for him to adjust to new situations, or to handle chaos and excitement. I'm thinking of the possibility of mild sensory integration/processing disorder, which most kids just outgrow without intervention. This sometimes coincides with the very high-functioning range of the autism spectrum, but nothing in your post raises flags for ASD.

Either way, though, the best course of action for you is probably the same. Just gently, lovingly underreact. If he melts down and can't handle being somewhere, just calmly remove him from the situation. If he bites, do a "soft time-out." Don't act angry, just tell him, "You need some quiet time," and put him in his room. If he gets obsessed with his nose running, tell him cheerfully, "That means you need kleenex!" And change the subject. In other words, don't play into his perception that these things are a big deal. Chances are really good that he'll outgrow a lot of this by the time he reaches 4.

He is three years old! He was overwhelmed. Santa, singing songs and having yo say a poem. You wonder why he was upset? He is three!!!!!!

Yes normal. Be firm about what is expected and walk away till he has a normal voice.

Sounds like both of my kids when they were three except for the biting. Forget the "terrible two"! For us it was the terrible threes. The both outgrew it and have had no lasting effects. It's hard to keep patient and keep consistent but that is what they needed. Sometimes I just had to walk away and let them scream. It broke my heart to do it, but trying to make it better just made it worse. Hang in there!

He's three. It's normal three-year-old behavior. All of my boys drove me insane at that age. It gets better, just expect the unexpected and roll with it.

Most of this sounds pretty normal. I have heard countless times that 3 is actually worse than 2.

The stage fright is not surprising or abnormal at all. There are always kids who freak out at the thought of going up in front of people and performing, even if they can do it perfectly at home. Biting and hitting is normal too because they don't have self control yet. They are still at a selfish age and they will do whatever it takes to get what they want.

I don't know if it's "normal," but I know my now 17-year-old son had moments like that as a 3-year-old. Age 3 was probably one of the most difficult years of his life (well, maybe second to the first few months when he was off the charts colicky). If it's any consolation our son is now an almost perfectly behaved (not with his younger brother), responsible, high-achieving Honors student. It wasn't always an easy road to get here, however.

I learned that kids go through developmental cycles and that age 3 1/2 can be a tough time for them. Holidays are also very difficult, with changed schedules and expectations, extra sweets, etc. I learned to change my expectations during the holidays and to try to be proactive by giving him lots of transition time and by trying to stick to routine as much as possible. My son was misdiagnosed at age 4 with a couple of different things, but we did ultimately conclude that he had sensory issues. He went through OT for sensory issues at age 5 and that was very helpful. I also took a childhood development class on "emotional intelligence" and I read Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's books about "spirited children" and power struggles. All of that was also helpful.

Age 3 can be challenging and it's a challenging time of year. If you continue to see problems or have concerns talk to his preschool teacher and his pediatrician. Good luck.