At the beginning of this school year, my son who is 16 and is a sophomore in high school came home after one of the first few days of school and asked me to buy him a few pairs of boxer-briefs. I asked why and he told me that hardly anyone else in the locker room wears white briefs or sport bikini briefs anymore and he didn't want to be embarrassed. I asked if any of the kids had said anything and he said that they hadn't but he felt really embarrassed because he has a lot of his friends in gym class with him and all of them were wearing boxers or boxer briefs. So now, he wears boxer-briefs to school but then when he gets home and on the weekends he puts his briefs or those bikini ones back on because he doesn't find the boxer-briefs very comfortable around the leg.
And last night I went to his room as he was cleaning it to ask him what kind of pizzas his friends would want, as they were coming to sleep over and asked them what they would do, etc. And in the middle of the conversation, he went into his dresser and pulled a few shirts out of one drawer and moved them into his underwear drawer and basically covered up all his briefs. I gave him a confused look and asked him why he had done it and he said "just in case anyone opens my dresser drawers they wont see my underwear"
I really don't see the big deal
Is underwear style really that big of a deal to boys now? Anyone else have a son that wears both bikini sport or boxer briefs?
He's a teenager. Don't you remember being that age & just wanting desperately to fit in, and not stand out or be targeted?
He's just trying to fit in. If it were the wrong kind of jeans would you make a fuss over the fact that he's put them in a suitcase before the friends spent the night.
He is normal.
Let him be.
Imagine yourself in a locker room full of girls and you are a teenager.
BUT you are the ONLY one, that is wearing huge white "granny panties" that went up to your chest and all the other girls are wearing cute printed or colored bikinis or low rise bikinis. Would you feel odd and out of place and self conscious????
Yep I think so.
Then if your friends came over, would you want them to see your ugly white huge "granny panties" and be made fun of???
I don't think so.
And yes, it is a 'big deal.' They are teenagers.
Perceptions are delicate.
Put it this way, my Hubby wears briefs, but has a sports hobby. And all the guys wear boxer briefs. How does he know? Because when they are in the locker room, they all see each other.
So then what? Well, so my Husband goes and buys BOXER BRIEFS too!
No biggie. I didn't think anything of it.
As an adult now... and if you wore big ol' white "granny panties" that went up to your waist... would you want all your girlfriends to see that???? And would you be proud of it and flaunt it?
Most women would be embarrassed.
Adult or Teenager... these things may seem like a small thing... but it does matter, to the wearer.
I don't think it matters much if underwear is a big deal to other boys or not....it is obviously a BIG deal to your son right now.
I'd let it go. He's just trying to fit in, hang with the guys, be accepted....and if wearing boxers and hiding his tighty-whitey's is part of it, it's pretty minor and seems healthy.
On a personal note, I thought boys went through this earlier, checking on each others style of underwear....Once I was re-shelving books in the elementary school library and 2 boys were discussing what types of shorts they were wearing...and it was clear that boxers were the way to go. Then with my own son, he came home one day upset, because he was wearing boxer shorts, that was the 2nd grade, and they were too big on him as he is a skinny kid, and the fabric pooched up out of his pants and the boys asked if he was wearing diapers.....let me tell you, those boxers were history. He's almost 13 and wear the soft t-shirt fabric, longer style underwear. It's a cross between boxer style and sport fabric.
GL!
In my experience with males everything below the belt is a big deal! I have three boys 4 and under and other than the baby they are very concerned about anything and everything regarding their business! I am sure as they get older underwear will be big stuff. I mean my four year old already likes to pick his own underwear daily, so I am not surprised by your post at all. And as all the moms pointed out bras and panties in the locker room were big stuff as well.
It sounds like completely typical adolescent behavior!
He's a teen. Everything is a "big deal" at this age. Teens work hard at being like everyone else. It's a stage which he'll outgrow.
I think for teen boys it can be. My son used to wear the "tighty whities" when he was younger too. I started "wondering" about it (to myself--didn't say anything to anybody) when he started playing basketball at school in 5th grade (team, changing in the locker room, etc). That summer, he went on a week long trip with his great aunt/uncle and their grandson (both boys are the same age) and while gone, Aunti gave him some underwear (boxer-briefs). Apparently she had bought them for her grandson and weren't the right size, or she bought some for grandson and didn't want to not buy for our son also, or something like that--no big deal. Anyway.. he started wearing them all the time. So when I next bought him underwear, that is what I bought. It is ALL he wears now (he is 13).
And yes, inside the boys locker room can be a horrid place to be "different" from anybody else. I can only imagine the number of "bullying" type things that go on in there (and always have--this isn't anything new). Maybe somebody DID say something to him at some point. Maybe not even being mean, but a friend just joking with him (truly joking, not bullying). But he is super self-conscious about it.
Don't make a bigger deal out of it. Let him do what he wants. Obviously the discomfort at wearing them is less than the discomfort of being different in the locker room.
AND: Maybe you could buy some different brands to see if they fit more comfortably for him? My husband used to wear briefs too, until he started chaffing when golfing. So he experimented and I bought him some of the boxer/briefs. Some he can wear, others he is uncomfortable. And it all has to do with the leg openings. My hubby works out, and anything binding on his thighs at all is not going to work. Some brands are much stretchier there, or just cut wider.
There are a LOT of brands to choose from: Hanes fits hubby better than FotL. But he also likes Nautica and Land's End ones. Jockey he didn't care for.
Kids who want to pick on others will find ANYTHING "different" about them. He knows the social climate around his school and knows how to stay out of the line of fire. If this makes his life easier, so be it!
Very normal. My boys all wore tighty whiteys until 9th grade. that seems to be the age thing for boys. In 9th grade they all 3 switched to boxers. oldest wears the boxer briefs, next one wears what we called grampa boxers the kind made out of plain old cotton like bedsheets. youngest wears a combination of cotton and knit boxers but not the boxer briefs. and yes it is a big deal. kind of like if your a teenage girl and you have plain cotton briefs and big granny panties.
Kids can be so mean and it doesn't stop the older they get I think it gets worse. Let him be. To him its a big deal so let him adjust accordingly. My son and husband wear boxers but I remember my cousin being the same way when he got to jr high. He had my aunt buy boxers but he would wear his briefs with a pair or boxers over them so no one saw his underwear. Its normal!
Yeah, it's kinda a big deal.
Wearing 'Tidy-Whities' has been un-cool for quite some time now...AND...wearing bikini anything as a guy is a HUGE deal...he would be teased relentlessly for FOREVER by his buddies!
Have you made sure to get him the boxer briefs that do NOT have an elastic waist nor a 'hem' at the bottom of the leg, that line makes them fit tight on the leg and non of my boys like that kind either...go with the seamless style...all the same color (no black waist band or hem line) I think it is Haines? They are stretchy and more comfortable...or so ALL my boys say!
Mom/Auntie to a whole grip of boys!
Ages 20, 17, 16, 12, 8 & 6
*All boxer wearers... only 1 of them likes the original boxers!
Boys are FUNNY!
I would not worry about it, each group has its own "uniform". My daughter is somewhat geeky and likes t-shirts with game logo's on them, as do all her friends. They wear grey sports bras not pretty ones with cups, and bikini underwear not the sit-at-the-waist briefs (at least not thongs!). They have years to find their own true self, and part of that is feeling like you belong to a group during the teenage years. This does not mean he will not do exactly as he pleases and wear whatever underwear he likes when he is older. Perhaps he is just using his old underwear on the weekend because he does not have enough of the new kind to wear all the time? Ask him if he would like to get rid of the tighty whities and get more of the kind he wears during the week? My husband wears the tighty whities under pants but wears boxer shorts to bed.
So normal. You are lucky this didn't start until high school. I was buying boxer briefs for my son when he started middle school. He would wear boxer briefs on PE day and whatever he wanted on the other days.
As time went on, he got used to the boxer briefs and now prefers them. Like the other said, I wouldn't read too much into this. It's really normal!
Have a good weekend!
Lots of times my boys wear briefs, with boxers over the top.But they always wear boxers. Of course the briefs give them more support. That is what all the boys are wearing. I wouldn't think that anyone would make fun of him for not wearing them, but you know kids will be kids. Your son just wants to fit in, and who can blame him. I think it is funny that he covered up his undies tho, just in case.
My boys wear briefs but I think it is a pretty big deal for them. One of their friends was all upset this summer because at camp, he had the wrong underwear and my son commented on how he always went to the bathroom to change because of it.
If having a bra when I changed out in gym class at 11 was a big deal, I'm not surprised that underpants are a big deal for guys at 16. I would acknowledge that it's a big deal to HIM and roll with it. He may change again later - my SS was all into boxers for a while and now in to boxer briefs. Whatever. I'm not wearing them.
Wow - if this is the worst thing I have to deal with when my boys get to be that age, I will be very happy!
Yes, big deal, starting in middle school when they start changing for gym. He should have whatever he wants, no one wears tighty whities anymore, and at 16, his underwear is his business.
It's a big deal. Everything's a big deal when they are teenagers. Image is very important to them. Mess up and you get teased/bullied. My boy did the same thing when he go into 9th grade. He told me he wanted the boxers instead of the jockeys/tighty whities. He told me the boxers look more comfortable, but I know different. Now, he admits that guys get teased in the locker rooms when they change. They think the jockeys look like diapers. Then he noticed his father's boxers, which are Joe Boxers. Joe Boxers are a Kmart brand that is made out of soft jersey material instead of the traditional stiff cotton. We tried them and now he doesn't want any other brand. I get him the loose leg Joe Boxers.
Its an ego thing, but I wouldn't be concerned unless he is trying to fit in with everything outside his manhood. Try to build a stronger self esteem if that's the case.
I don't have kids that age, but I think it's a big deal. I work with young kids in school and see older kids at times. It's a big deal. I agree with another poster that it is seen as a little dorky. Some stores or brands make boxer briefs that are slightly more comfortable, or you could try to stretch out the legs. I think Old Navy or Gap makes a fusion style that is looser. I would just get him some and let him pick the patterns too. Don't buy anything cute or loud, unless he picks it himself.
