Is This Wrong - Oxford,AL

College is sooooo completely different from highschool.

A thing to keep in mind, however... while It Gets Better is aimed at GLBT youth... it really applies to EVERYONE.

http://www.itgetsbetter.org/

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Oh, honey - hugs to you. The past has a very strong hold on you and because you are only 20, it's not the FAR past, it's the recent past, so yes - that it bothers you is normal. I had a really crappy past too, and the best thing I ever did for myself was to get therapy. I found a great person who did cognitive therapy - they help you retrain your thinking into more healthy pathways. Please do this for yourself - it will help you AND your kids cause you will be healthier and happier.

Please do go back to school. I don't have experience with it, but I believe that getting a GED would be great for your self esteem. It'll help you to not judge yourself (which we all do) - the world doesn't judge us anywhere near as badly as WE judge OURSELVES.

And when you decide to move on to college, that's a really great experience. Take your time and take it step by step.

By taking care of yourself like this and being aware enough to see that you need help, you are setting a wonderful example for them!

At 20 you are in college? I don't think at this point bullying should be an issue. Obviously very traumatic for you. I applaud you for wanting to go back to school. Take it slow and have you had counseling to get help with this?

I was bullied also and my sister was sexually harrased. You will always have the memories, but they will fade and when you hear about those people later in life, they are rarely happy. One of the girls in high school who bullied me became friendly our senior year, and I harbor no ill will toward her. When I look on the 'Where Are They Now' page on my alma mater site, they are often the ones who put the least on there. I figure things didn't turn out the way they would have wanted and dont want the rest of us to know. I'm also sure that some of them have children who are now bullied and are trying to figure out how to help them.
Anyway, my husband was bullied to the point of quiting. He didn't have his diploma or GED when we met and he was 20. It took 4-5 years of pestering, but he finally got his diploma. We found a great school called Cornerstone. I think its full name is Cornerstone Christian Correspondence School. They are in Townsend, Georgia. We sent a copy of his ID, and $65 and they sent study books and 5 tests. He took the tests. You have to have a 'responsible' person sign that they proctered the test. I wasn't his wife at the time, and I'm a teacher, so I proctered. The tests have no time limit. He passed all the first try. 4 a's and a B. If you don't pass one, you pay a few dollars more and they send you a new study book to help and a new test in that subject. It was great for him as he also has some social anxiety issues. Anyway, I am helping his sister get her diploma the same way. She likes it because there is no time limit and no set hours that she has to be in class. It works well for her because she watches her grandchildren while her daughters and son-in-laws work. The price has gone to $85, but it is still a great price and a great program that gives you a diploma not a GED certificate.
I now this is long, but I hope it helps. If you call 411 on the phone and ask for Cornerstone school in Townsend, Georgia you will get the correct number. Just tell them that you want to get your diploma through correspondence school and they will send you a packet.
Good Luck and just remember, the trials you have been through have made you a kind, compassionate person that can empethize with others. You will also teach those values to your kids and it will make them better people, too. I seriously doubt that your kids will turn into bullies!

I'm sooo sorry you were bullied. That sucks. However, I need to tell you to NOT LIVE IN FEAR!!! Be confident in you and who you are. Don't worry about people judging you - if they can't or won't take the time to get to know you - that's their loss, not yours.

Now, go find a counselor who can help you better present yourself and to compartmentalize the feelings you have. but do NOT EVER LIVE IN FEAR!!! Fear is not a good thing - do NOT let the past continue to haunt you.

Remember you found a man who loves you - you have children with him!! :)

I'm not sure if you are talking college or HS - I'm ASSUMING college - but go to a guidance counselor - have them help you. If it's HS - go to night school or study on-line to get your GED.

I can tell you the whole world is not judging you! I am not! Although I don't think i've ever really been bullied - I've got a VERY strong character - I can be brash and abrasive - I tell people what I think!

I know my son has problems because he wants to please everyone and wants everyone to like him. I told him that's not going to happen. As wonderful and special as he is - not everyone will like you. That's just a fact of life. Don't try to please everyone - make sure that what you are doing is right and moral - but make sure you are taking care of YOU.

Don't live in the past. Don't live in fear. Stand up for yourself and who you are - which I'm sure is a great W. - you just underestimate and appreciate yourself. Look in the mirror and find all the good things you like about yourself. Don't focus on the negative (ooooh man - if I look in the mirror I pinch the belly (YUCK!!), I flick the chin (ick!) and say - oh well - if they don't like it - they can lump it! Like yourself - then you will find you are loving yourself and then what others say and think won't bother you!!!

I would go back. The type of students you will have in your classes will be way different then the ones you had in high school. Everyone will be there because they want to finish their degrees and could care less about bullying someone.

YES! Go back to school! Whether it's high school (get your GED) or college. BOTH are very important these days. My husband had a difficult time in high school. I didn't know him then, but from what he & his mom have told me, it sounds like his school didn't know how to handle him. They would punish him instead of helping him do more productive things when he finished his work quickly.

Anyways, he joined the Army when he was 17. At some point he had to get his GED to continue with the Army. Now he is 30 and has been in the Army National Guard for about 7 years. He has TONS of training from the Army - mainly in IT computer stuff. He has many awards for his work and much praise from officers, etc. etc. Well, he doesn't have a college degree. He technically should have one from all of his training, but to civilian employers, it doesn't matter. They won't even finish reading his resume because he doesn't have that 4-year degree. He's trying to do online classes, but with military obligations & trying to support his family, it's hard.

So, please try going back to school. You CAN do it, and you have all of us here to support you! :)

I LOVED college because there was no bullying there! Give it a shot and maybe it will help you overcome your fear, gain self confidence, and trust your peers maybe for the first time! Well worth the try:)

I agree, get counseling. Having someone to talk it all out to is so healing.
I am a domestic violence survivor who is also a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. Martial Arts gave me the confidence to forge ahead into things that scared me. I had no self esteem or confidence. Even when I knew I was correct about something I would not argue my point because I had no confidence. Now even though I don't like to be confrontational I will stand up for myself and my kids and grandkids.

It will just make you stronger! You will see the maturity of older students.

Oh, hun, big hugs. I was there too. I was continuously teased from about 4th grade all the way through. You're right; it can be very lonely. I barely graduated and I think the only reason I did was because I'd already enlisted in the military and my contract required that I graduate in the year stated. It really does get better out in the "real" world though because you get to choose the people you hang out with, the ones that will support you and love you. You can leave the bullies in your dust. I've had a lot of hang ups from all of that. I'm almost 30 and I'll occasionally still get twinges from it. Is this person really being nice to me? Or does she really mean it when she wants to meet me for tea at the local shoppe? But I push it to the back of my mind and I do it anyway. And I know I've finally got some really good friends. Also, when it comes to the people from highschool, I never see any of them anymore so they don't matter anyway. It's your life, don't let them dictate it for you. Also, college is a much different environment. You don't mix with the same people all day, every day, like in highschool. You might share the same classes with a few people but it's completely different. So go back. Get your GED or whatever you need. Screw them. Live your life. Love your life. It's really hard, but you can do it, especially surrounded by the people you love. Big hugs.

Definitely go back. The bullying issue will always be in the back of your mind, but don't let it hold you back. I was bullied 25+ years ago and will never forget it. However, it didn't deter me from succeeding in school and earning my degree. Don't let it stop you, either.

As an adult, you can understand that people who bully are the ones with low self-esteem. After all, do you know any happy people who want to pick on others? A guy who bullied my brother in high school recently committed suicide. Bullies are NOT happy people, so rest assured, you're going to be much better off in life than they are.

Best of luck to you! Go out and sign up for school again today. You won't regret it.

There is a good book called "The Solution- Conquer Your Fear, Control Your Future." by Lucinda Bassett. She has an impressive track record and has an impressive Corporate clientele too.... and success with it.
It helps with anxiety/stress or any other emotional things, that are causing a block in your life.
Her advice/techniques... have been used at AT&T, McDonald's, the LPGA, and the AIDS Foundation. As well as many educational institutions.
She has been a guest on Oprah, as well.
You can check it out on Amazon....

I was bullied in Middle School... but I did not stop me from enjoying school. It was horrid. But it didn't affect me, permanently.

Did you graduate High School? Or not? You said you quit, school. At what point?

Many "Adults" do go back and get their degrees.
Higher Education.... college, and as an "Adult'... is VERY different... than High School or Middle School.... troubles. People are just more mature, by then and have their own lives....

All the best,
Susan

You need to go back and get your education! This will be the only way that you will be able to build up your confidence and be proud of yourself. I would get your GED though because you need to be around mature people who have hopefully out grown bullying. I wasn't bullied in school but because I was so timid and quite I only had one friend. When that friend wasn't around I felt so uncomfortable and lonely. I'm also not the most gifted student academically and had to work extremely hard for everything I've accomplished especially when I was your age but the rewards are so worth it! I'm 46 now but have kids in highschool and grammer school that I worry about bullying everyday! My son is extremely smart, hates sports and is timid like me so he is a perfect canditate. Everyday I give him positive feed back about his accomplishments hoping that he doesn't loose his self confidence. Don't wait to long and take all the advice given so far because you deserve a happy life with your family!

Whether you are going back to get your GED, or going to college, there really should not be an issue with bullying - I mean, that is behavior exhibited by children, not mature adults who are there to work toward a degree. Think about what you will have accomplished when you have finished, as opposed to not following through.

I would agree that getting some professional counseling could help if you have this much anxiety about it. There is no reason to go through life thinking that people are always judging you, because they aren't. And even if inside their minds they are, who cares? Seeing a therapist should help you to move through these issues you have regarding growing up since you are still this bothered by them and you are as affected to this degree. You did not mention if you actually have kids but hopefully any kids you have will be much less likely to be "targets" if they have more self-confidence and some of that comes from you being a role model to them. A counselor may be able to help you see how you can help make things turn out differently for your children. 20 years old is too young to be stuck living the rest of your life like this.

I too was relentlessly teased in school. It was so bad that I ended up not graduating my Sr. year. I was only missing 2 credits, but there was no way I was going back to that school. I went ahead got my GED and went to community college and earned my Associated. After that I went to a 4 year accredited college and received my Bachelors in Science. Now I'm thinking about going back to get my Masters. College is so different than High school. Social issues may arise, but it's practically illegal to bully in college. It's a privilege to be there and they can kick anyone out if they act inappropriately. I'm not going to lie and say that college is a cake walk, especially having children. I have two children of my own. And I'll tell you, having my five year old daughter see me walk at my last graduation was one of the proudest days of my life. Go get your GED. Look into community college. And there are tons of options to access money for your education (especially if you have children). Good Luck!