My Renegade Son Wants to Join the Military?

does he want to join?

it can certainly be a lifesaver. but it's not a dumping ground for a$$holes.

khairete
S.

If this is the son who was thinking of earning a GED and doesn't have a high school diploma, he needs to earn one or the other - preferably a diploma.
In addition to having a diploma (or GED) he'll also have to pass the ASVAB.

https://www.thebalancecareers.com/us-military-enlistment-...#

I have no doubts that a military career would provide a lot of structure and discipline for him but he's putting the cart before the horse if he thinks he can enlist before obtaining the minimum requirements.
Perhaps setting his goal of doing what's necessary so he can enlist will help focus him.
He needs to talk to a recruiter - they will tell him what he needs to do.

Being physically fit before enlisting will help him survive boot camp so this is something he can start working on now.

https://www.military.com/military-fitness/army-basic-trai...

Additional:
Are you looking for a career path for your son or is he?
How old is he?
You sound like you are desperately grasping at straws to find something/anything he can do.
He needs to be involved in figuring out what he wants to do.
Doing nothing is not an option for him.
Without a diploma or GED his choices are pretty limited.

Additional:
Has he dropped out of school already?
The school guidance counselor is a good resource you should use.
Even special ed kids get jobs (they get diplomas - it helps them) - washing dishes, stocking shelves, sorting recycling, etc.
Your son might be able to be a field hand, crop harvester, construction worker, work in a slaughter house, work for a yard maintenance company mowing lawns, shoveling snow, spreading mulch.
There's always fast food, janitor, trash hauler too.
If he can't work with his brains he's going to have to do a lot of hard physical work but those jobs need to be done.

If your son has a low average IQ? The military isn't the place for him. He will need to get tested, have his GED and take the ASVAB to see if he can even make it in the military.

My husband did 25 years in the Air Force. He was deployed a lot.

If your son needs help shaping up? The military isn't for him. Yes, they do shape up some people. But these people typically don't have low IQs and aren't 'renegades'

Please do your own research and have your son do his due diligence as well. The military isn't a rehab center for wayward teens.

Why is he a renegade? I’m Army. You get out, what you put in. Only 1 in 10 high school students even qualify to join. The military is not a “back up” . You have to be tough, and have a mental, emotional stamina, be able to to multitask. Moms make excellent Soldiers. It’s all about taking care of others and yourself at the same time.

Contrary to the negative stereotypes, the most athletic, brightest, and most competitive are service members. Many already have college degrees, technical skills, and speak multiple languages.

“Turned around” says he has issues following normal society rules. You shouldn't expect a miraculous change in personality or personal values.

My kids are not old enough to answer your question, but I've had friends who have been in military.

My friends have told me it was a grounding experience, helped them become more focused and structured. One went through as an officer. It was a career choice for them all.

They went on (now retired from it) to do other successful careers.

I do know someone who joined, with an idealized view of what it would 'do for them' - who was messed up and confused. He was discharged the first year. It was a crushing blow.

Not everyone can handle it. I think like any career choice, you have to have a plan and know what you're going to put into it, have realistic expectations and be mentally prepared before entering it. It's extremely tough from what I understand. It takes a special kind of person to join the military.

Some of the moms here know this well :)

I think you have it backwards. He needs to get himself "turned around" for the military to take him seriously. I'm sure he needs a HS diploma, or at least a GED, and there are physical, mental and academic tests as well.
Has he been working towards his GED and is he getting counseling for his behavior problems, whatever those are?

My neighbor has a son who was always a problem - behavioral issues, some health issues (bad knees despite his young age), use and misuse of ADHD drugs (sometimes took them, often did not, sometimes sold them), and generally bizarre behavior in the neighborhood. For example, he'd be out in the yard with a BB gun shooting at various things, as I was walking by with my small terrier. I reminded him that little dogs (and big ones) sometimes get off the leash and should not be confused with coyotes or anything dangerous. He was a loner in many ways - special school, no friends. He kept saying he wanted to go into the Marine Corps like his grandfather. I'm not sure of the details, but he got off his meds, straightened out his behavior, graduated from high school and has completed basic training.

My sense is to encourage it - if you can't manage him (and I know some kids are defiant), then the structure of the military can be helpful. Serving our country is a brave and honorable thing.

I think that is really an old school way of thinking. It used to be that bad boys were encouraged to join the military to "straighten them out." Not true any more. This is a different kind of military than in the 60/70's when the draft was going on. The military couldn't afford to be choosy back then - they sure can now.

If your child has had ANY legal trouble, black marks on his school records, didn't finish school or has a GED (you can still get into some branches of the military with a GED, but it is extremely difficult), has a history of mental health issues (even mild/met with a therapist a few times kind of thing), any physical issues, can't pass a drug test or has failed one on record in the past, or anything like this, the military simply will not accept him.

In other words, the kids who are in today's military are pretty straight laced, hard working, high school (or even college) graduates who find that the military has something to offer them that the civilian world cannot or that their life in the civilian world would be enhanced by. It is NOT, and I repeat NOT for wayward, troubled kids whose parents haven't stepped up to the plate so they are hoping a drill sergeant will do for their kid, what they couldn't. Only 1 in 10 kids even qualify to START the recruitment process. Even less get as far as MEPS, and even less make it through basic/boot camp. Think about it . . . is your son really a .05% kind of kid (about the percent of kids that actually qualify to enlist)

I have two kids in the military, and I couldn't be more proud.

I joined the USAF and it was one of the best choices I’ve ever made. I was able to travel, had school paid for and gained structure, confidence and many friends. Before joining I’d suggest your son figures out what he wants to do and then discuss with his recruiter how to attain it so he doesn’t potentially end up in a job he dislikes.

My son joined the Air Force several years ago. He is extremely bright but he was highly unmotivated after high school graduation. His choice at our house was move out or get his butt in gear and do something! I thought, as you appear to, that the armed forces would take pretty much anyone. That is truly not the case. MilitaryMom is right. He cannot owe money, have any sort of legal history, have ever been on meds for attention deficit, etc. They are very particular of who they accept. The good news is he did join up and served for four years. He was a fighter jet mechanic. While he was in the military he joined a program they have where you put a certain amount of money into a college plan and they pay for several years of college. He now has his Bachelor of Science in Nursing degree and is working in an intensive care unit at a local hospital. The military, along with a mom and dad who would not allow him to be a slacker, really opened his eyes to what his future would have been if he decided to sit and play video games all day.

Is your son trying to choose between working on an oil rig or going to the military or getting his GED? Maybe he should be working with a school counselor?

From your title, it sounds like your son wants to join. So wayward or not, he is choosing what he wants to do. I'm sure the military will be good for him.