Is Your Child Mixed Race??

K., children who are mixed race have challenges that are different from children who are not. But the nice thing about living in America in THIS day and age is that it usually is no big deal, and being singled out or bullied for it like kids went through several decades ago is not nearly as prevalent now.

I don't have mixed children, but I have friends who do. What I have seen is that they are taught what you are wanting to teach as young kids. Then when they become teens, they have decided which race they primarily see themselves as. And there's nothing wrong with that.

Tell her that just like Italian Americans delight in being Italian, Greek Americans delight in being Greek, French Americans delight in being French, etc, she can delight in either or both of her races. And she doesn't have to ignore that she is either one. It is okay for her to call herself whatever she wants!

Have fun at that Quincearra and Sweet 16!!

Dawn

K.:

Congratulations on your upcoming twins and your daughter. I like her name. I hope she's not as "dramatic" as the Kimora on the TV show!! :)

My children are part of the HUMAN race.....

we try and learn as much as we can about other cultures. First and foremost? They are AMERICANS - NO hyphenations in this house. Either you are an American or you are not.

You can celebrate ALL cultures and history...not just those of your specific background...you will learn a lot about others....

I am an American. I am a MUTT...my mother's side is from England, Ireland and Scotland...my father's side is French, German and English. My Great x9 (I think) came over after the Mayflower (my husband's family can trace back to the Mayflower, Currier & Ives and to a Russian Czar - my FIL was born in Communist Russia).

My 3 year old son and my 9 month old daughter are half Chinese and the other half are Italian, Norwegian, English and Danish. We are very Americanized at home. I do bring my kids to see my parents once a week where we eat Chinese food and watch Chinese TV. Well my son doesn't actually watch it but the tv is on in the background. He is aware of the Chinese language and he does know some Chinese words. He also loves Chinese food and we are talking about Authentic Chinese food, stuff that my husband wouldn't even eat. I was born and raised in Hong Kong. I really could speak to my son and daughter in Chinese at home but when my husband comes home we speak English plus it is easier for me to communicate in English even though I speak fluent Chinese. My husband is American Italian so he does not speak Italian so we haven't really explored that culture yet but he does like Italian food as well.

Our daughter is mixed.

Back when we were married this was still a problem for some people on my husbands side of the family.. One of his aunts admitted my inlaws did not expect our marriage to last because of it. One of his grandmothers was still using the N word and called Hispanics Wetbacks, even though our families had been here longer than her families.

Our daughter probably did not notice for a long time.. This is all "her normal" life, so it did not make a difference. She was too young to understand.. But it was interesting to see people expressions when they had only seen my husband with her.. and then I show up and they put it all together..

My family is Mexican American.. My husbands family Anglo.. they do not embrace their German heritage in any way. They never refer to it or have any traditions.. etc.

But my family speaks Spanish and cook our family recipes.. etc. We explain how our ancestors were her in Texas when it was still Mexico..

Again in today's world, over all it does not make a difference, but when our daughter attended college, she and a group of other girls started a group for students of mixed ancestors..

Very interesting combinations and not really more of one race than another.
They spoke about how they identify themselves.. is it based on how they look, or who the mother is or the father>? The family they spent the most time with?

Soon they feel they will not be stating ethnicity, because everybody is going to be mixed in some way.

Ask a teen to describe their friends and very few will tell you, their ethnicity.. instead they will tell you , "oh she is real athletic, but plays in the band and lives over there.". Or "he is pretty shy , Geeky, but really funny when you get to know him.". They will not mention color or race, because it will not matter.

Teach her about her heritage and stories from your family history and any other languages you all know.. This will help her be her own individual.

My kids are made up of a bunch of nationalities. I am English, Scottish, Irish, German, French and Russian. My husband is 50% Mexican, 25% Polish and 25% Italian. My oldest and youngest look like my husband's side with olive skin and brown eyes. My middle child has lighter skin, and blue eyes but some of my husband's features (like a Roman nose, and bigger lips). My daughter wants a Quinceneara too, but I tell her she's only 25% Mexican and her aunts didn't even have one!

I am white, with a little bit of Cherokee Native American. Not enough to be registered, but it is documented. My son's father is East Indian. I am pale, but tan easily and my son's father is very dark. My son has olive skin that darkens easily and blue eyes, so it is not obvious that he is mixed.

My son's father and his family live in India and we have gone to India multiple times. We have some of the clothing and cultural items. Son's father and his family are Christian, so some of the norms from Hinduism do not apply. It is interesting to learn about their culture and you learn something new every time you visit.

I am Chinese, and my husband is Irish/Italian/English/German.

Other than paler skin and lighter brown eyes, my daughter looks exactly like me. When people would see her with my husband or MIL, they would ask them which country she was adopted from :-)

My older son has medium brown hair, darker skin, dark brown eyes, and dimples like Mario Lopez. He looks an awful lot like his Irish great great grandfather. My younger son looks a lot like me and his older sister, but he has light brown hair.

I am teaching Chinese to my older two kids. (I'm not very fluent, but I know enough to teach the basics.) My daughter is very resistant to it, but my older son enjoys it. My younger son (19 months) is able to repeat some of the words I'm teaching him already.

I don't cook it often, but my kids to like Chinese food. I try to teach them what I know of the culture and what I remember from my childhood. It is a real shame that both of my parents have passed away. I would have loved for them to teach the language and culture to my children.

My husband's side doesn't really celebrate much about their culture. The Irish side wins out a bit, but there are no real traditions that they hold dear, other than drinking ;-)

Your kids must be absolutely stunning! I tend to think that the more we mix the races, the healthier we are genetically. Maybe it will even make racism a little bit less of an issue.

Yes, my children are mixed. I was born and raised here in America as white as the snow and my husband was born and lived in Mexico City until he was 19. We have been married for 10 years and have 3 kids together.
I am a certified Spanish translator (medical) but I do not speak much Spanish to my children. My husband does all of the Spanish speaking, and actually when I speak with him I only speak Spanish. My kids understand everything he says but always respond in English. Not quite sure why. But, I feel it's important that they speak and/or understand both languages.
My daughter will have a Quincenera when she is 15. Better start saving now!
My family Skype's with my husband's family every Sunday (his parents live in Mexico still) so that my kids still know their extended family.
We go to parties AND fiestas. We celebrate Christmas AND Los Tres Reyes. We do Halloween AND Dia de los Muertos. We eat pizza AND tacos! LOL. We are huge soccer/futbol fans.
It is unfortunate, but I have faced "scolding" from people about my family. About how I am "dirtying up the races" and how my children are going to have such a hard time adjusting. Hogwash, I say! I have had people snap at my husband and I when we are speaking Spanish to each other or our children. (what business is it of yours what language I speak? I am not speaking to YOU! - that's what I said when she got all uppity at me) In school some of the teachers seem to have preconceived ideas of my kids and their ability to speak English. Which KILLS ME!!! NO, my kids do NOT need to go to ESL, thankyouverymuch.
Fortunately, those things don't happen a lot. But they do! I don't really think about my family and how we are "mixed" until someone brings it to my attention.
L.

I am white (Irish, Scottish, Polish, German and Dutch), and my husband is Filipino. My kids are half white and half Filipino. We have the traditional american family stuff, and then we also have the Filipino side. My husband grew up in the Philippines and moved to the US when he was 13. He will make Filipino food and we do a lot of large family get togethers with his side of the family (mine live in another state). My kids know a few Tagalog words, my husband is fluent.

My daughters are 1/4 Mexican. Their grandfather (while born in the U.S. thus gaining automatic citizenship) mostly grew up in Mexico and returned to the U.S. at 18 when he renounced his Mexican citizenship. There is not much in the way of strong cultural ties that got passed down. I think a lot of this is a result of my MIL being the OVERWHELMING decision maker in that relationship (she is not hispanic) combined with my FIL's desire to get as far from his past as possible. My husband and his siblings do not speak any Spanish (I speak more Spanish than my husband does). There are some things that I am glad did not get passed down (Quinceanera), while I'm sure there are some things that I wouldn't mind or would like to be able to pass on to my daughters. But, life is life, and we will create our own traditions.

My children is 1/2 Chinese and 1/2 white (and the white half is Jewish), but my husband and I are both totally American. We don't really follow any Chinese cultural or Jewish traditions in our home, aside from Chinese New Years and Hanukkah. So far, my son (age 5) hasn't really asked other than to say that Daddy is Chinese and Mommy is English (I am not British, I just speak English, but he doesn't get that distinction yet). My husband doesn't speak much Chinese but my kids spend a lot of time with their grandparents and can understand a fair amount of Chinese from them.

It's never been an issue for us and not something any of us really talk or care about. My son knows he is both but doesn't really see it as strange or different. He has several friends that are also 1/2 white and 1/2 Asian (about 25% of his preschool class was mixed like this). It's nice - where we live, there are tons of mixed couples and an equal number of Asian and white families, so none of us ever feel out of place.