Jff---sex Question

We've been married 8 and have 3 very active kids. We both have full-time jobs, and I just finished school. I'd say we average 2-3 times per week....but there are times we go a week without because we are too busy. And there are times we do every day...but an average would be 2-3 times. I hope it doesn't change after 10!

Well, since getting pregnant with number three, we have had sex twice in the last 3 months! The first trimester was a nightmare of exhaustion...... When i'm not pregnant, with no newborn in the house, about 3-7x a month, depending on how busy with both are.

We've been married 11.5 years.

We just celebrated 10 years of marriage. We have 2 boys, ages 15 & 8. We average 3-5 times a week. We like it often, even if a quickie because we are exhausted.

Sigh. I miss sex.

11 years of marriage, we typically had sex 1-3x per day until the last year when I closed the muffin shop. I'd lost all respect for him. Come to find I can have ALL kinds of sex, nearly. Loving, silly, angry, happy, dizzy, quick, marathon, you name it.... but I can't have sex with someone I don't respect, and I can't have sex when I'm sad.

((Ahem. I am a major outlier on my sex drive. My grandparents averaged about once a week. My parents are DEEPLY in love with each other, but have been mostly platonic for some time. I just want to add this, because I had a very BAD marriage, but high sex drive. My grandparents -over 50 years of marriage-, and my parents -coming up on 40 years- are faaaaar more 'normal' in their 'marital relations', and have really incrediable / kind/ loving marriages. Ditto, all my aunts and uncles have various levels of sex in their marriages... some are rabbits, some are birthdays and major holidays... but all have stellar marriages. Sex is NOT an indicator of how much love and friendship is in a marriage, nor how good a marriage is, nor how sexy your partner finds you. It's just what it is. An aspect. For a long time it was the ONLY good aspect in my marriage. 0_o Which is a very, very bad thing. But other people have sex daily in great marriages. Again, I'm just adding this because some people I know equate quantiy with quality, and it just isn't so. I'll tell ya, I'd trade never having sex again, to be with someone who really and truly loved me, and i them. But I'd rather not! It's sort of moot at this point, though. Coming up on 2 years celibate, and many, many, many more years to go. ))

I dealy love my wife and have for the last 39+ years. So I say, as often as she says yes, or when she asks.

It used to be once per day . . .

Good luck to you and yours.

Well I can only answer with my ex and after ten years I really didn't like him much so to answer your question, as little as possible. :p

We've been married almost 14 years, have an 11 year old together, and I have 3 grown children, but they have lived with us until they left for college. We are also older, I'm 50 and he is 48. We don't have sex nearly as often as I want it. That would be at least 2-3 times a week. We often go as long as a month without, but the average would probably be once ever 10 days or so. It is not a reflection on our relationship. Most people think we are the most loving affectionate people they know, and we are, but it just seems sex takes a backseat to life, and he is usually "too tired".

Updated

We've been married almost 14 years, have an 11 year old together, and I have 3 grown children, but they have lived with us until they left for college. We are also older, I'm 50 and he is 48. We don't have sex nearly as often as I want it. That would be at least 2-3 times a week. We often go as long as a month without, but the average would probably be once ever 10 days or so. It is not a reflection on our relationship. Most people think we are the most loving affectionate people they know, and we are, but it just seems sex takes a backseat to life, and he is usually "too tired".

I think depending on what you have going on in your life, will determine how often you are having sex. I've been together with my husband since HS. We took a long break, he had a daughter, we had a son, we got back together, we had a daughter and we got married! YIKES!!! Our youngest is 15, our 22 yr old lives with us, my husband works 2 jobs.....so there's no time for sex, and when there is, we are exhausted. Sometimes it's in the middle of the night in a zombie state...LOL. So, as often as you can,when you can, if you can, how you can. LOL

15 years this October...

NEVER ENOUGH for me!! LOL!!!

welllllll, i'm a little older than most of you jackrabbits, and post-M, so it's dwindled to a couple of times a month.
but it's a couple of GOOD times.
:)
once upon a time i'd have been devastated to hear that. like many of you, it was once or more per day when we were young'uns, and probably once a week during the hardest times of babies and tinies. but over our 3 decades together it probably averages out to a couple of times per week.
:) khairete
S.

Husband and I have been together for 11 years and we are at about once a week. I'd like more, but we're just so tired and it's really hot and uncomfortable right now. I'm sure as soon as fall hits, it might be a little more often. We can hope. :)

Been married 20 years. We "get together" about 3X per week. We have one child. Not that you asked, but I'm a SAHM with little stress in my life. Hubby is home at a decent hour so we enjoy dinner together almost every night. He helps around the house and makes me laugh every day. He's attentive to me and my daughter and he's just a great person. I like him as well as love him.

If I were working, stressed, overworked at home with little or no help, I might not be inclined to "get together" very often.

Married almost 10 years, have three kids (10,7,and 20 months), and we have sex about 2 times a week. Sometimes I wish it was more, sometimes I wish it was less!
L.

Married 17 years, together 25 years, two kids, and once a week.

Not that often anymore. With 3 kids (14, 12 and 9) I'm exhausted most of the time. We've been together 23 years. Lots of stress in life currently, and I'm peri-menopausal, and Im recently unemployed. Not feeling ut ad much lately...he's not thrilled about it all.

Married 13 years (yesterday!) and we have 4 kids (10,8,5,2). How often we have sex has waxed and waned over the years depending on the immediate circumstances. Last year I would say we averaged 1-2x/week, now we are starting to move up to 2-3x/week since the kids are getting a little older. I would definitely say the quality has only increased over the years, and that is the most important part :)

Ditto Jo W. I'm currently a newlywed so I can't answer the 10+ years with him yet. =)

Happily married 18 years - once or twice a week.

Wow...I'm impressed with all the sex going on LOL...or am I sad/guilty that I dont?? Hmmm! : )

Together/married 15 yrs, 4 yr old and 10 mo old, both work 40-50 hrs per week...we TRY really hard for 1 time per week...but average (without itty bittys) 2 times per week. But I have to add that quality over quantity is soooo much more important. And we most certainly have quality ; ) We may go a month (rarely) but that "first" time is always pretty fun! And I find the more you do it, the more you want it, and vice-versa. Fun question : )

Wow, how do some of you even have time for 3-4 times a week?

I've been with my husband for 11 years; married for 7 yrs. We use only NFP to space our children, so we end up with about 10 days a month where we purposefully abstain. Other than that, it's probably about once every 3 days or so, depending upon how exhausted we are.

Well I have been married 9 1/2 but have been living together for 12 and have 3 kids aged 4-8. We have sex 1-2 times per week.

Not often, but that's because I'm pregnant now. Usually, we go for 1x/week.

I've only been married a couple of years.. So I can't relate to that part. But it used to be once a day or every other day because we have young children. (Like 10 times a day before kids, lol.) But hubby is experiencing a lower sex drive because of his sleep apnea issues. It's usually once a week now, and just on days he doesn't have to work. I sure hope he can get this medical issue figured out soon. I could only imagine how much worse this could get..

Yikes--people on here have a LOT of sex! Couple of times a YEAR here. Married five years, have two young kids, both with special needs. We're just too tired most of the time, and sex has always been difficult for both of us. We're best friends, though, and I would never be married to anyone but him!!

We try for every other day but my husband travels and often has business dinners and gets home late right now so I'd go with three times a week on average. We are in our late 40's - well, I am, he is a bit younger than me.

Been happily married for 16 years. Have two kids, 10 & 14. Have sex at least once a week but mostly twice a week. It's been that frequent (or infrequent, depending on your point of view) since we were dating, with only a few ebbs and tides with childbirth and hormones and all. Works for both of us!

Together for 11+ years, married for 6+.....5-7x a week. 90% of the time after the kids go to bed, the other 10% we get creative :) Sometimes we miss a day or two but make up for it on another day by having it 2x :)

I work during the week and he works weekends. I'm home by 430pm daily and we have dinner except Fri-Sun together as a family. He's usually up later at night than I am but we both like to make sure we have some alone time together on MOST days!!

It varies, but average once or twice a week :)

I've been married for almost 11 years and we have 2 kids. We used to do it 3-4 times a week, but since my husband switched to grave shift it's a little harder to make it happen. Now it's more like 2 times a week :(

Together 11 years, he is 25 years my senior, (I have heard that most men his age doesn't function on their own very well, he is still fully functional the natural way :)) 4 kids ages 10, 8, 5, 4.. we cycle between 3x a day and 3x a week, the determining factors for this cycle? Whether or not our 5 or 4 yr old CB (cock block) is in our bed in the morning when we wake up! HA HA, we won't kick them out, all to soon they won't want to sleep with us at all, and we are both going to miss that :)