JFF How Often Do You Really.....

I've always loved oral... giving and receiving. Correction. Giving since I learned to breathe through my nose! That was a very long time ago.

I honestly, though, have no idea how often. For 9 years we had sex pretty much daily. Oral was often a part of it... and sometimes it was just oral (like a 'wake up BJ' if I woke up first was one of my husband's favorite things). So... maybe not every day... but many if not most days.

I often do it as part of foreplay. So on an average week I'd say 1-2 times. I often don't finish the job, not because I don't like it, but because I don't care for oral being performed on me and other acts don't always get me to the finish line. I usually need regular ol' sex for that. I enjoy doing it a lot and always have, but my husband usually doesn't require 20 minutes if I perform oral on him. I'd say 10 minutes max unless I'm getting creative and then that has more to do with me and what I want to do to him, not how long it takes him to get there.

My husband got oral on his birthday....and I think that might have been the first time since we got married 6 years ago. He likes doing it, I don't, and he doesn't push for it.

That's foreplay for us... lucky me, my husband isn't one of those 'you do me and I'll get to you later' type of guys... if anything, he prefers to be the one giving, not getting... I'm a lucky, lucky lady ;) So to answer your question, oral is foreplay, ergo it only happens when we're going to be intimate, which lately has been far and few between (NOT ENOUGH!!!!!), so probably about once or twice a month if I'm REALLY lucky... we're working on it ;)

As often as possible! I like it. And I like it to be returned even more often ;-) My sexual behavior didn't change with marriage, except to get even better, more comfortable, and more frequent.

The only "right" frequency, however, is what is works for each couple.

I do it as foreplay just about every time we make love. I don't like doing it "all the way" or until he ejaculates. My jaws cramp up long before he gets to that point. In our 13 year relationship, I've probably taken him the whole way maybe 4 or 5 times. He wants me to do that, but it hurts to keep going, not to mention that ejaculating in my mouth makes me gag. It does excite me to do it for him for a little bit, but only to a point.

I don't even think about it...but if my man were wanting to put a number on how often it ought to happen, I'd be really ticked!

Fellatio and all other foreplay is something that should occur when you feel compelled to do it. It's not supposed to be planned or required...because then it doesn't mean anything. Once you make it an obligation, love and appreciation are not part of the equation.

Regular sex hurts my back most of the time these days.... so oral happens here on a pretty regular basis. It's just easier, quicker and less messy to me.
My husband gets it often, it's not considered "a special favor" in our house.

I'm divorced so I'll just pretend it doesn't apply to me!

*Most men* love any part of they can get, the rest are fibbing, and it's even better without having to ask. Just like we want the men to clean the kitchen and do the laundry at night without having to ask them.

Part of the excitement is knowing that I am...I mean *was* doing something that he loved. It's wonderful that I can provide something that he finds so amazing. You can "help" him out so it doesn't take all night to finish. It should benefit the woman too, not just the man as previously mentioned.

This is such an intimate act...like Laura said "How can you get any closer"? That's pretty darn personal.

Married or otherwise I do it when I feel like it. Granted he doesn't ask but if he did I would. If he asked every time I would be like, dude! really?

Anyway we may go a month, then every time. Frequent enough that he never asks and never complains.

Just read your what happened, lay down on my couch, lets talk... Does he appear to enjoy it? What I mean is he just laying there, you are doing what feels like work and when you can't take it anymore you have regular sex? If you answered yes to all or part of that second question it is his fault! or at least a good part his fault. Part of the turn on for the women is his enjoyment. If they don't appear to appreciate it, enjoy it it almost become a degrading act for the woman. I mean come on you are sitting there sucking on his tool and what is he doing, planning his next project? picking out a different color for the walls? pondering what parts of the room you didn't clean well enough? If there isn't a feedback loop it becomes work, no one wants to work when having sex, ya know?

How often does HE do it for you? Is it pretty evenly balanced? I don't think it's a how often do you do this kind of thing. After all, men always climax during intercourse but women do not always and may NEED the oral or manual stimulation.

I never really thought about it. Probably at least once per week. I don't even share this with my friends, so I'm a little surprised I'm answering your question. LOL I never talk about sex, as it's very private for us...but hopefully this gives you some perspective.

Sometimes that's all he gets, since we have 4 kids and the timing sucks...no pun intended. LOL

It's a 50-50 deal when it comes to ANYTHING pleasurable...telling you that you are 'lame' surely doesn't seem to help you to want to give him what he is asking for!

I don't think anyone should have to 'do their best to accommodate'...yuck!

I LOVE sex, alwayz have, alwayz will, but if my DH of 25 yrs. told me something I was/wasn't doing was 'lame' it's a good bet his wishes would become just that, wishes and/or dreams of getting it again!

Time for your DH to grow up & give some respect.

I give oral sex anytime WE feel like it, sometimes only him, sometimes only me, sometimes both, with & without intercourse, whatever feels good.

LOL, reading below -- I think you won this argument with your husband. Are you going to show him your responses?

Twenty years have taken their toll, emotionally and otherwise. Our sex is pretty boring these days, although technically speaking both of us are adventurous at heart. Hopefully once we are empty nesters this fall and can do whatever/whenever/where ever again, our sex life will become more diverse.

I know I am not the norm, but I can count the number of times I have performed fellatio on one hand. I never did it before I was married, so using that criteria, you would be wrong, I guess? lol
I've just never had the desire to do it, it isn't enjoyable for me, so I always figured, why bother?

I would have to say as rarely as possible. I don't really enjoy it, and blessedly for me, my husband doesn't like to ask me to do things I don't enjoy that are solely for his benefit. If I do that, it is because I have a desire to do something pleasurable for him, and NOT because he has asked.

It was a more regular thing before we had kids, but during pregnancy I was so nauseous (continuously the entire almost 10 months with each pregnancy) that there was NO. WAY. THAT was going to happen. I think he figured out that it was really distasteful for me (pardon the pun) and so doesn't make it an issue. Maybe once every other YEAR? I think your husband is very wrong. I believe that performing ANY sexual act for your partner should be done because you are so inclined during your relations, not because someone is "due" to receive. Not the same thing as going ahead and having sex even if you are tired because it is good for your marriage even if you don't start out in the mood. Not the same thing AT ALL. So I hope no one tries to make that argument...

Your husband would say I am Super-Lame. I do not enjoy giving or receiving it. So in my 4 years married to the guy, maybe 4 times I've given, 2 or 3 times he's given. I'm with you - for a few minutes as foreplay might be okay, but I'd much rather have 'regular ol sex.' I get turned on much more with some kisses on my neck or upper-half basically anywhere. When he's down there I worry about smells and tastes and who wants to be tense/stressed/worried while having sex? And when I'm down there, I get grossed out with the smells and tastes. Do guys want the girl to gag?

I have been married to my husband for 10 years next month. For the first 9 years, never. I think it's so gross. Totally grosses me out. But, the last year I have felt bad about it so I do it for maybe 1 minute only and maybe only once a month. YUCK! I won't let him to do it to me either. Totally gross

Not often. Most of the time its because I don't want him to know and he needs a bath and I don't want to ask him to shower and ruin the surprise. I don't like it performed on me because once I'm done, I don't want sex and he does even though he got oral and it takes him forever the 2nd go around to get finished and then I;m all sore and stretched out the next 3-4 days.

I'm in the same boat. My husband thinks it's lame also and I could care less for it. It's actually getting old that he talks about it. The more he talks about it the less incline I am to do it. There are a lot of things I would like for my partner to do with and for me that he doesn't and never will because he isn't that person but I don't love him any less. If that changes how he feels about me then so be it because I am not the person who enjoys it.

Foreplay is another thing, but to have to sit there for however long it may take to give him something ge can get anyway through something we could both enjoy is not something I am willing to do on a regular basis. I use to do it just to keep him happy but I guess I feel that it shouldn't be necessary....

Just my opinion.

we never talk about. I really don't like doing it (therefore I don't expect it in return) so maybe a few times a year.

Meh, maybe once a month. I find it boring and tedious. We have sex regularly, but not a whole lot into foreplay. We get down to business, bc our guys have been known to wake up at just the wrong time! Lol

my answer is probably a bit TMI...I used to absolutely LOVE to give oral. I would do it all the time, whether asked or not. I did not used to like to receive oral because I was molested as a very young girl and that is what was done to me. But my husband really wanted to and after the first time I was having a panic attack and he held me and I finally told him about it and when he accepted me, wasnt ashamed or anything like I had irrationally feared, it made me like it. anyhoo....that being said. Now-a-days, i rarely do it. I have a pretty bad case of TMJ and so it hurts my jaw. some days I am okay and I can do it for quite awhile without pain, other days after just a few minutes I am hurting. Plus, after having 3 kids in less than 2 years my sex drive took a massive nosedive. My husband loves to give oral, and he does it every time we have sex. sometimes he will do it even if we arent going to have sex, it turns him on. I wish I could get my sex drive back, I know my husband is dissapointed but he does his best not to show it.

Whenever I feel like getting brownie points...joking...sort of. Really I am not a fan of oral, I don't mind giving, but I prefer not to receive. Weird, I guess, but that's how it is.

How often? Not sure really, used to be fairly often when we were younger. But now, with a toddler that exhausts us, we usually just get to the point. No pun intended....

REally close to never. I hate it. I feel like I need to be able to dislocate my jaw and figure out how to disable my gag reflex. Afterwards, my jaw is just sore for awhile. I prefer sex. My husband probably wishes he got more BJ's, but doesn't seem to mind the regular ol' sex offered up instead.

My theory on a married relationship is give and take. If he is willing to take care of you and you have enjoyed it(oral) then he should receive the same benefits. If he is not willing to show equal performance then this is not even on the table for him to request.

I used to do it all the time, but we got into an arguement one time and he said I gave him sympathy bjs. After that day, no more!

My husband and I have been together 13 years married almost 4. (we started dating when I was 15). I compare oral to fishing.... first you have to bait the hook, wait for the bite and reel him in. Once you got um in the net and home in the freezer no need to bait anymore!! ( My husband think it's cruel but its not like I was a oral junkie when we 1st dated he got it like twice a month and over a 13 year period I've phased it out) That being said lol, I think we have a good sex life, usually 4-6 times a month. As far as giving him 100% finish the job oral he gets it once a year.... maybe 2. I will give him oral about every 2-3 times for a couple minutes, usually not lasting more than 5. Then the "good ol fun" begins!!

there are times where we only do oral, there are times where we only do intercourse, there are times where we do both, we are probably intimate about once a month. We are doing what we can to NOT have a child right now and yes, that is one of the steps we have taken!

Pretty ,much every time. I know my husband is a lucky guy in that department and I think (hope) he knows it too. I think maybe 2 or 3 times in ten years I've told him no to that.

I'm not a huge fan of receiving - but he knows what things do make me happy and he is more than happy to oblige.

So I consider ours to be mostly 50/50 and we're both happy at the end of the day :).

We both give each other oral sex...but only if we take showers before heading to bed...which is kinds like foreplay itself...like "hey honey, I am going to jump in the shower real quick, you want to take one too?" Is our cue that whoever is asking is in the mood and wants to have oral...because it always goes both ways.

If the other says yes...then it is on...if the other says no, the we know regular sex is still on but not the oral. If the other says how tired they are then nothing is happening that night.

We both like it but it is not every time...maybe once out of ten to fifteen times do we "go there". It is not an all the time thing...occasionally like twice a year or so I will surprise him with some out of the blue.

Pluleese..."lame"...that would make me mad!!

It is a regular part of foreplay for us. And we have sex QUITE often- multiple times a week. I enjoy it, a LOT ...To perform it, that is, on him-because I totally love him.

My husband and I have been together for 24 years and we still have sex 4-5 times a week and include oral sex 80% of the time.
I'm not always " in to it", I used to feel like I looked foolish doing it, but he always tells me how sexy it is, plus I know how much he enjoys it. He works so hard for our family, why not do something for him that brings him pleasure.

awww i missed this before...when i was married most of the time but not to the finish line because his quanitity was too much...i was only with him so i thought it was normal...i should've done it anyway, but he got it other places ...good for him (insert saarcasm there=) ) with my bf most of the time, I enjoy it and do even when he asks M. not to, as does he for M..
I like receiving as well, its better than the main attraction for M., and if he doesnt put out I;ll start on my own with some video entertainment and then ussually hell feel left out and join and do what i was hoping for. Ugh this always happens at 3pm, now I wish I was doing other things.

At least half the times we do it..(its foreplay for us not the whole act)....and vice versa (him/me).

but we dont do it as much as wed like because he works out of town so giving a number per month wouldn't be fair to the ratio.

ETA based on your "so what happened", yes i enjoy it, because he never asks for it, in fact i have to be the one pulling him up out of the covers. My "gift" is usually reciprocal.