So I turn 55 on Wednesday, my son applied for and was accepted to the IT academy in our local high school, my daughter graduates from high school in a couple of weeks and leaves for college 8.5 hours away in two months. We are so busy until that time that I hardly have time to realize that time is slippping past. My mom passed away last year, my FIL a few years before that (my dad's been gone for 25+ years) and the only grandparent left is my MIL in a nursing home.
In one moment I feel like I'm about 28-30 and other times I realize that when my mom or grandmother was my age I thought they were ancient! My oldest sister is retired and in her middle 60's, my "baby" brother has white beard! I'm in the middle of losing weight that has slowly cilmbed on as I cared for others - and although I'm super healthy as per my doctor I want to be very active as I age. How old do you have to be to begin talking about aging and retirement? (My husband retires from the NYPD in 5 years so we've been talking about it!)
Is it just me or is there anyone else out there who can't believe how quickly the years have flown by? What can we do to drag our feet and slow it down? I try to savor the moments, like the last of my son's little league games to enjoy, etc.But it just seems time has sped up. In one breath I'm so ready to head into a new season of life, and on the other hand I'm so not ready to drop my girl off at college!
Yes I do still have a son in little league. Our chapter has a senior division so they play through age 15. My son turns 15 a few weeks after the LL season ends so he has one more Summer. It's a sweet thing to sit and cherish the moments. My husband (7 yrs younger than me!) and I started late - I had been married before so I was cautious about making sure he was the right man. 1st child at age 37, 2nd at age 40. Yes I'm glad the pee, poop & puke days are over, our kids are nice people - I enjoy spendindg time with them. I am going to miss my daughter so much - but I'm so excited for this next chapter of her life. I am jsut astounded at how quickly the last 30 years went by that I know that by the time the next 30 pass I'll be 85 if I'm still alive (my mom passed away at almost 83of ovarian cancer) . So I anticipate that I'll blink and then find myself at age 85 ready to meet Jesus. Ahh - so much life to live until then though!
I've loved hearing yoru perspective. we're a reasonably mentally healthy group of moms aren't we?
I'm 44 with a 20 year old and a 17 year old. I feel ya'!
I can't believe how quickly it's gone either. And some of my friends still have very young kids so that makes it harder too. Sometimes I feel like it should still be the year 2002.
I'm 54 this year, and my youngest is 12, completing the 6th grade.
We started talking about the next phase, i.e. retirement-ish topics, like favorite places to live, warm weather for aches/pains, etc. the last couple of years.
The conversation is complicated for us, as we have taken care of my husband's parents for 15+ years and my FIL just passed away a couple of months ago. Grandma is taken care of now by 2 of her children. So we don't need to factor that into our decision, as of just the last couple of weeks.
And we have moved a lot.....too much. The lack of deep friendship and feeling bonded to a community has been very difficult on me this past move, 4 years ago.
I feel a strong need to return to a prior community where we have close friends, and downgrade when our youngest graduates from high school.
Basically, we have 6 more years of mandatory parenting, before the youngest is legally on their own. And the 3 kids will be spread out by then.
And I would like to be close to whoever starts to have children, so that I can help out on occasion, as I never received any help from either my parents or in-laws, and I don't want my daughters to be stressed out and alone like me, or as so many young mothers are.
I feel very blessed to be at a phase in my life that I can truly enjoy my kid's activities and it's not a financial burden to help them out with college...so it's all good.
And, I doubt my husband will ever truly retire. He'll just go into a semi-academic travel around the world speaking sort of role next. And we would both like to do mission work, so our plan is to downsize into a beach front / water front condo type place, easy to maintain so we can easily be gone a lot.
I am 54 (55 in august).
The years HAVE flown by, and my youngest two will complete HS next year. One of my sons will graduate from college.
I feel as well as I did in my 30s (those were some of my BEST years) and am reasonably happy with my life. I continue to 'go' with the flow to be honest.
None of my kiddos are married or have children yet. But, I anticipate those things will come in my future.
I try to savor each moment...as you have said.
Tempus Fugit!!
So, I try to 'Carpe Diem' !!!
best
I understand! I'm 53, coming up on 27 yrs married with a 23 yr old in grad school, supporting himself (yeha) and a 19 yr old. When the second gets out of college, then I might can breathe that sigh of relief and do a few "nice" things for H and me.
He will prob retire from one job at about 55 and take on a less stressful role somewhere else. Travel, Ahhh, to missions around the US and maybe elsewhere. My church still needs me. If you give yourself to Gods work, He will wear you out!
We want to have our will set by then because you never know what could happen to your mind and you start making terrible decisions (thanks, mil).
It seems it went fast now, but I remember thinking the days of pee and puke would never stop. Then the days of, you didn't tell me about this! Then the endless tests and learning experiences for my older kids. I remember those distinctively and while I miss the ages and stages of love and fun, I can put them into perspective with their challenges. Whew!
I had my annual checkup today. The verdict was that I'm alive. That's nice to know. I take pills, yes, but I think I'm probably healthier and, for the most part, happier than I was thirty years ago. I guess that on other scales of evaluation, I'm old (to my grandchildren, I'm ancient!); to me, I'm just me.
I guess the "time flying by" is a privilege we get for having so much to remember. When you're young and haven't had a lot of life behind you, things are slower (and maybe boring at times). The more you do, the faster it seems to go. But actually, the seconds haven't sped up. Take it as it comes and enjoy everything you possibly can (and face the rest of it)!
P.S. Shannon R., my parents were in their 40s when I made my debut. They always said that having children kept them young.
I turn 57 in a couple of weeks, and have 2 grandkids! (All my 4 kids are out of the house and on their own, fortunately.)
I'm caring for my mother for a few weeks while my sister and her husband move, so I sure understand about being a caregiver.
And... I'm working on starting a new career... or re-directing my current one.....
I'm only 42, but yes, time is getting faster on me, and I'm trying hard to be present and enjoy each moment as much as I can, but it's like I had my baby last week and now she's a toddler with her 2 year molars coming in. I keep wondering how that happened so fast...and I was looking at my 4 year old the other day and he has grown a foot in the last few months! He's truly turning into a boy, and I will never see that little toddler/baby again. That boy is gone, and the new one that will become a man is developing. I'm stunned that my little people aren't so little anymore! I'm looking forward to being done with diapers, potty training, etc. But I fear I'm going to turn around and they will be in college, gone, and I missed it all. The sleepless nights, the pee on the floor, I'm loving it with my toddler because I know how quickly it will be over. That makes me sad. She is just so darn cute.
I wish I had suggestions. I've just been trying to be more present with them, I.e. Leave my phone inside when we head outside, but it feels like time is just flying by.
Yes, yes and yes. I totally get it, although I have no solution to slowing down time. My husband and I also are noticing how fast time is flying these days.
It's an interesting time of life, for sure. I'm not so sure it's my favorite. I'm just beginning a career so I'm not talking about retirement, although my husband has already set his date.
It seems like I blinked, and parenting was over and I'm facing the "golden years." I know that I need to find a way to "slow" down this time and savor the moments because the next blink will find me on my deathbed. I'm not trying to be morbid, it's just a realization I've had in my mid-fifties.
we were born ONE DAY apart! i'll be 55 on thursday!
and you still have a little leaguer? that busy, sweet phase of our lives is years past. i've got a brother in his early 60s, and my baby brother is almost 40. and yeah, my husband and i are actively planning our retirement, although he won't be able to actually retire until he's 70 so it's still almost a couple of decades away (he's younger than i.)
we can't drag our feet and slow it down. it speeds up no matter what, and seems to hasten even more and defiantly if we try to clutch it, doesn't it? but we're better at savoring the moments than we were when we were frantically busy young mothers!
:) khairete
S.
My dad said almost this same thing to me yesterday (Father's Day). He's in his mid-70s, and can't believe it.
I don't know how to slow it down. All I can say is that it happens to everyone.
You're 55, and you have a son in Little League?
ETA:
Julie, I cannot honestly say that I ever loved sleepless nights or pee on the floor.
My niece just became a grandmother. That makes my brother a great grandfather. That's nuts!
I am also 55 and often feel so young. Then I look around and think the same things you are. It's part of moving to the next stage of our development/life. Right now we're middle aged. Not to far in the future we'll be seniors and older too.
I'm not 40 yet, but I got kind of weirded out when my oldest sister turned 40, because I distinctly remember our MOM turning 40. I asked her why she had a little sad face drawn on the calendar for her birthday that year and she said with a sigh that she was officially over the hill. Like 40 is SO old! OK so the woman had a 20 y/o, and 15 y/o, and 10 y/o and a 5 y/o she probably FELT super old!
(God saw fit to bless her with twins the following year, ha! Guess He wanted to remind her how young she really was!)
Anyway my sister (and now the other) who are 40 are both super hip and young seeming to me, hard to believe I actually knew my MOM at that same age!
I'm also 55 and feel just like you do! It's my son's 16th birthday today and I just can't believe how quickly he's growing up. Honestly, each school year seems to fly by faster than the last one! Where did that time go??? I just have one child and had him at 39 and I felt really sad for awhile when he started become more independent and didn't want to do things with me anymore. We had a hard time getting a long for awhile after he turned 13, but here lately he's really matured and we are starting what I call a "new relationship". I'm really happy about that!
I found that he talks to me about so many different things and guess when that is? When he is the driver of my car! I could hardly believe the change in him when he drives my car with me. It's fantastic. He tells me about so many things. Have any of you had that happen too?
