JFF: Whats the Worst Date You've Ever Been On?

A date where I laughed so hard I farted! I will never forget that date for the rest of my life! I was in my 20's.

Update:I did end up dating him for about a year and a half but had to give him the boot becasue he had low expectations! shux he dated a chick who farted in front of em...LOL!

Eagle, that has got to be the FUNNIEST thing I've read in a long time. Thanks for the great laugh!

My worst date: He takes me to the beach for what I think is for a romantic moonlit walk, we settle down on the warm sand on a cozy blanket w/a cool breeze floating by, the smell of love in the air, and the sound of waves crashing on the rocks, and he pulls out a bag of weed...

Oooh my gosh these have been the funniest things I've read all week! Excellent question hahaa...

My first week at college I got asked on a date by a guy that was in a neighboring dorm. We went on a walk around campus, got dinner and ended up laying in the grass on a hill to gaze at the stars. From the second we started off he was waaayy too touchy for my taste (keep in mind this was at BYU--a VERY religious/conservative school) and held my hand or wrapped his arm around me constantly. Once we sat down in the grass he took it upon himself to very aggressively attack my face with his mouth--grrroooossss. I was only 18 and had no balls so i just kind of weakly made up an excuse that I had to get back to a study group. That night, he went on his facebook and put "in a relationship" with me (did I just admit to how young I am? ha) and i just blocked him and avoided him like the plague. It was awwwffuull and completely ruined my BYU dating experience completely haha

I was on a 2nd or 3rd date. We were watching a movie and about half way through the movie he stood up and said well if this is all we are going to do and Im not getting laid tonight Im outta here and walked out the door.

Another time my date and I were out drinking and playing darts with some friends. We both were at about our limits of drinking for the night so we went back to my place. He was sitting on the couch and I was laying on his lap. The room started to spin so I went to sit up... right as he was leaning down to kiss my forehead and my head hit him in the nose and I still think it may have broke his nose as it started to bleed horribly and he sported two black eyes and a swollen nose for a week. Luckily he loved me to look past it and we are married now and can now laugh about it.

Bad date #1: A guy who was very handsome in the model kind of way (not my normal type, but I thought I was "supposed" to like)---he had the most fabulous abs, chest, and shoulders I'd ever seen, but NOTHING else! We worked together and he asked me out to dinner. Blinded by muscles, I said ok. When he picked me up, he did that STUPID pec flex thing where his pecs move around but he's trying to be cool, but wanting me to see? I suppose it's the male version of wearing a low cut top and leaning too far forward or something. We parked in the parking garage and walking down the slope to the street, I swear he looked at his reflection in car windows and checked out his hair AT LEAST 6 times, possibly more. That was gross to me. Then you know how normal jerks position themselves where they can see the football game if there's a TV? No Tv.....but this special guy positioned himself where he could see himself, and he did watch. I was totally put off. Then he was SO RUDE to the waitress. He did everything short of calling her doll and slapping her bum. Finally, he said something with such conceit, that I put my fork down, said "I'm sorry, but I am totally about to be sick" and paid the waitress for my food and tipped her....I just knew he wouldn't, so I didn't want to take a chance. Then I walked a few doors down to a coffee shop where a friend worked and read a magazine until she was off and could drive me home. A week later we're at work and he comes by. He asked, in front of 3 of my male coworkers, "A., do you think I'm attractive?" I said "Handsome? Yes. Attractive? Not in the least". That afternoon, one of the 3 guys asked me out and we dated almost 2 years, lol. He said he asked me out because he was impressed and proud of me for not falling for the jerk's looks.
Bad date #2: A very handsome air force guy came to town fairly regularly and stayed at the hotel I worked at. A bit older though--in his mid-30s. He would run the property in shorts and no shirt and all the front desk staff AND housekeepers would stop and peek out the windows at him, lol. But he was very smart, well traveled, articulate, charasmatic. He'd get bored in his room and come down and talk politics, swap travel stories, etc. A neat guy. Well, one day he called to make another reservation, and after doing so said "Can I take you to dinner?" I said I didn't want to get in trouble with work or anything, but after he pressed, I said "Ok, you can pick me up outside my apartment complex" (didn't know him well enough to feel comfortable with him coming to my door since my roommate was out of town). So, I was off work, he checked in, called me, and let me know what time he was coming to pick me up. I'm all dressed up, looking cute, and I come down to meet him. He jumps out of the car, gives me a hug and a little kiss, walks to open the car door for me....the BACK door? Then he introduces me to his wife. A wife I did not know he had. A wife that was very interested in meeting me. I was a little perturbed, to say the least. I had no idea he was married, or a swinger. That didn't happen. I was kinda mad that he thought it would.

I'd have to say in high school, I was about 17. Went out with this jock guy who was totally not my type. We went to a reservoir with his family and went weight boarding (I don't even know if that's what it's called) wake boarding? Shows you how much I know about the sport! I had never done it and was so nervous. The day was HORRIBLE. I kept falling, and his family all knew how to do it. I could tell he was kind of embarrassed by my lack of athleticism, and just sort of quit trying to help me. JERK!
On top of that, I got a bad sunburn. At the end of the date, he told me "you look really tired" - I go home to shower only to find my mascara was all run down underneath my eyes. So who knows how long I was looking like a burnt raccoon around his family. Sigh. That was a fun day!

Went on a blind date (enough said, LOL) Decided to meet for lunch at Chili's, spoke to him before I left for such date and was informed he was gonna be a couple minutes late because he had to stop at the bank. He'd never been to Chili's(?????) and wanted to know how much $$$ he should bring????? Met in front of restaurant and I'll never forget the GREEN jeans and GREEN sweater he was wearing. I should have walked away, but being a good sport i went in. He raved about what a good deal the all you can eat soup and salad was, as he order 2-3 helpings of each. I had prearranged for a friend to call my cell an hour into the whole deal in case it wasn't going well, I had an escape. Let me tell you that phone couldn't ring fast enough!!!
P.S. I paid for lunch so I wouldn't feel like I owed him anything and besided don't know if he took out enough at the atm.......way to impress a girl don't ya think....LOL

Oh geeze.. dug this one up and I'm cracking myself up. When I was 18 I worked at home depot and this contractor would always come say hi, he was nice looking and a nice enough guy but um, no thanks, you know? So I ended up taking off work for 2 weeks to get my boob job and this girl at work I HATED gave him my number. He called me LITERALLY 30 minutes after I got home from the surgery and asked me out, I was still doped out from the anesthesia not to mention the pain meds and I freaking said yes. Two days later the memory comes flooding back, realizing he's taking me out the next day I panic. He decided to take me to a pro baseball game (2 hours from home) and I can't exactly cancel because I thought that would be rude. So, in pain, I suck it up and go. On the way to Houston we're driving over this bridge and he makes the comment "I learned to drive when they first opened this bridge up, I was so scared.." and in my head I'm thinking.. "I was 2 FREAKING YEARS OLD when this bridge was built and opened... omg." He ended up being like 16 years older than me! So the whole game, I'm dying because I'm uncomfortable and he's creepy, I couldn't make the whole game and asked him if we could leave early because I was hurting so bad (which I wasn't hurting THAT bad lol I love the Astros!). In his head the date went amazingly and I would seriously have to hide from him at work and dodge his calls, I ended up having one of the managers talk to him because he was SO creeping me out. I cringe when I think about that day..

We had been dating for awhile and I showed up unexpecdely when he was having a party. Little mirrors, razor blades and straws were everywhere. I left immediately. When he called I said you have a drug and alcohol problem and I don't need you in my life. He kept showing up at my door and I would pretend I wasn't home. I moved shortly after that and never heard from him again. Thank God I didn't get more involved with a loser like that.

I had made it clear before meeting I was only open to certain ages and no one with kids.A man shows up to pick me up, admits i know his grown child, and asks me to stop by his exwife's because she wants to meet me.

I told him he is obviously older than i said i would date, he has kids which he lied about, and it is NUTS to think I am going to go on a date with HIS exwife. I told him to never call me or email me again.

Very shy guy. Went to his place (this was in college) to hang out and he just wanted to play music on his keyboard. Sure, he'd written it and sure, some of it was cool, but it was like a concert I didn't want to attend. I wanted to get to know HIM, not a sonata! Could not get him to talk much at all.

I had to tell a guy in high school I just wanted to be friends. Guess it didn't matter to him because after that he asked if I'd mind if we drove to a friend's house. Not quite the truth. He pulled over near this other girl's house and spied on her for about 10 minutes. On our date, with me in the car!

A friend set me up on a blind date with this guy. He shows up and looks a little creepy, but I went with him anyways. Instead of going to get something to eat we drove around on backroads and "talked". Mostly I sat there terrified that he was going to stop somewhere and I was going to have to make a run for it. So finally we go back to his house, which is a scarey dump and the only thing you could sit on was his ratty couch that his pet rat lived under. It had taken things and stuffed up all the open space under the couch to make it's cave. I am Terrified of rats. I perched on the edge of the couch and kept asking over and over to be taken home now. Finally I left and went to a friends house who gave me a ride home.

hahahah, great question

I was 19 and this guy asked me out. We went to dinner and then out for drinks(i know i know, i was underage, but i had connections, lol), It was going o.k. He was nice, so i asked him if he wanted to go out again. I told him i had tickets the next night for the rodeo, I said that Alan Jackson was playing (it was funny cause his name was Alan too) He scoffed and he said (i swear to God) "Id rather stay home and masturbate than listen to country live" I am floored by this because he had been so nice previously, lol. So i responded "OK, well ill go with someone else and you have fun with that"

The weird thing was is that this guy wasnt really all that. He wasnt ugly but he was sort of goofy looking but i would never pass on a guy because of looks. I was WAY hotter than him, especially when i was 19. I saw him many many more times after that in mutual hangout places while i was hooked up again with my current husband. We would always share a laugh about the loser that put his foot in his mouth on the first date.

When I was 13, I went to the movies with my "boyfriend" and a group of friends. We held (moist) hands and awkwardly shared popcorn. He had dressed up in his finest Hawaiian shirt and had used a coffee cup of gel on his hair. At some point, we shared a really (not) romantic teeth-bump-kiss. *Shudder*. I wouldn't do my teenage years again for all the money in the world.

Eagles.. bless your heart! That is Hi-larious..!!!

The worst was also in High School. The guy decided we needed to go Ice Skating. I had already told him, I could not ice skate. (I have super small ankles and I am clumsy.. always have been. )

He insisted I could, I just had not practiced enough.. I told him there was o hope, I had tried many, many times. We went so I told him I would just be fine watching, but he insisted!!!

Sure enough, I was not able to ice skate. My ankles just turned in.. I tried everything he suggested,. I was so mad at him, because he acted like it was my fault.

I can roller skate great, but never have been able to ice skate.

My favorite quote ABOUT worst dates is from When Harry Met Sally:
Sally: How much worse can it get than finishing dinner, having him reach over, pull a hair out of my head and start flossing with it at the table?

My worst date was a Steelers game. It was FREEZING (I prefer to watch from my family room!). This particular guy kept handing me hats, gloves, scarves, etc. to put on to keep warm. I spent a LOT of the game near the hand dryers in the ladies room.

Not really a DATE...I went to my Senior Homecoming dance with a VERY good friend of mine.

We had been friends for a very long time...and I had always had warm feelings for him...but we never tried dating because I was with someone at the time(boyfriend was military so I didnt have him around to go dances and stuff with me).

Anyways, we went as a giant group to dinner and the dance and then to a party after.

This girl named Tasha had come solo and had taken a liking to Drew....they were attached all night...Drew and I didnt even dance at Homecoming.

At like three in the morning I ask him to take me home.....she decided she HAD to come too.

I heard from people that were at the party and then came to school Monday saying they had had sex.

I was heart broken...Only because I thought Drew was better then that.

Our friendship sorta soured after that.

I just could not get past him whoring with her...She was not classy...and I never thought of him trashy until that night.

Oh WOW...well I love the stories so far ;-) great question.

Bad date #1 my step sister said a friend of hers wanted to go out with me, I wasn't supposed to date yet. I was 15, so we told my mom I was going with her to a friends house. she dropped me off at his house (where his parents were NOT home) and said if he tried to sleep with you don’t do it, he sleeps with everyone....Um ok thanks for putting me in this situation! And YES my step sis and I did get along really well....thanks sis. He was a maggot and had a "F" anything week once a week with his friends which he preceded to tell me was the next week, I told him to have fun and walked home.

Bad date #2 Met a guy at a bar, whom I thought was cute but didn’t really want a relationship. My friend gave him my number and he started calling. We went out a few times and then I drove to spend the weekend with him and some friends at the beach. We stopped for beer and drinks before hand and he conveniently lost his wallet. He said he would "make it up to me" first time ok I can see that he was ok, the second time he lost it again and we went to dinner...so sorry bye bye loser...who BTW had money to by a vette and work for Kodak...but no money to pay for a date...LOSER.

Bad date #3 my step sister again wants me to meet another guy, a few years later….I should of learned from the 1st time, right? I go to his apartment first thing he does is move his roommates blanket form the couch, explains to me it is his roommates CUM blanket and asked me if I wanted to use it…..HELLO due I just met you, what was your name again?….and I hightailed it out of there too.

I am 16, spending summer at the beach. I see this handsome boy, perhaps a little older than me, strolling back and forth on the surf for days. I decided I wanted him (I know, precocious) so i find a way to meet friends of his friends and spend an evening together in his group. Finally he asks me out and the morning after we meet at the beach. We take a bath, a nice chatty walk, when the moment is right he takes my hand and leads me behind this boat seating on a sand dune. I see his face slowing approaching mine, my heart starts speeding and...OUCH!!!! He was a biter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How awful...didn't see much of me after that!

so i was dating this guy and his birthday was a few days after we met. so i asked him what he wanted and he said a "hummer". so i set up to get together at his house for his birthday. he left the door open and he was waiting in his room. his eyes were closed so i put the matchbox hummer on his stomach said "happy birthday" and left lol

The one where the guy told me he was gay and he wanted me to cure him. My gay friends got a HUGE laugh out of that one!

Many years ago I dated a very boring man. After several bad-boy romance failures I thought it was just me-I was used to drama. So I stuck it out until the night I had dinner with his parents. He and his dad sat there with their hats on and didn't say a word the whole time. His mom and I filled the silence as best we could. I looked at his parents and saw what my future could be like, and I beat feet outta there.

I was still married to my first husband for a couple of years after we split up. I just had no interest in the marriage or getting back together no matter what he did. I just didn't want to be divorced. Silly preconceived notions from parental influence I guess. He finally started seeing someone after a while.

I went out on a date with a guy from church, let's call him Paul, who would feed me and take me to a movie occasionally, more like friends than anything else, think Paul Williams from the 70's/80's..

One time we had eaten and went to the theater to see some movie. While we were standing in line I noticed my husband and his girlfriend in the next line over for the concession stand. I LOUDLY introduced everyone...

"Paul, this is my husband XXX and the woman he is currently living with XXX". XXX this is my friend from church Paul"....it was suddenly very quiet in the theater lobby as everyone waited with baited breath to see what happened next.

My ex is a very social butterfly kind of guy and took it all in stride. He shook Paul's hand and said "Nice to meet you, how do you like Pastor XXX?". The woman was totally embarrassed and I feel bad about that, she is the most awesome person. She didn't deserve what I put her through by doing this. They are still together and have been married for well over 25 years now and she is one of my best friends.

It was so funny I still laugh about it to this day. I remember the look on everyone's faces and the blank stares as they watched the meet unfold.