Lame Breakup Excuses?

Actually my ex (married for 15 years) said to me when I asked him to have a drink with me in the very beginning, "I'm not very good company".

You'd think that would've been a red flag, huh?

Face palm. He was right, he's NOT very good company.

:)

When a man tells you that you're too good for him, LISTEN. Take that "excuse" and run with it and don't look back.

I was always the one to do the dumping so I never got lame excuses from anyone. :-) I never gave an excuse. I was always truthful. Not necessarily blunt, just truthful. I didn't like dragging out a long discussion over it and beating a dead horse, so I kept it short.

Hmmm. I think the worst one I got was "I knew getting a new truck would change you." Like because I got a new vehicle I thought I was better than he was.

My friend had a guy tell her, "I stopped loving you last Tuesday." Even though they hadn't seen or talked to each other that day. So you loved her on Monday and then Tuesday ehhh not so much? Dumb

In high school I had a guy break up with me because we were going to different high schools. I saw him again my senior year and he confessed breaking up with me was the worst mistake of his life. LOL High school drama stuff but inwardly I was thinking HAHAHAHa

Okay... Not a breakup but the BEST 'adultery excuse' happened to a friend of mine and we still giggle over how stupid her ex was.

Barometric Pressure Change.

Yup.

The poor man had to drive down to sea level from their home of about 1000 feet above sea level. The horror! How could anyone control themselves?!? Quick! Must. Have. Sex. Tooooooo. Sur-vi-ve!

Personally, I've always liked the old "It's not you it's me" approach!

"after dating you I have decided I am gay. " that was from a guy in high school. lol

Lamest excuses I've gotten:

THERE'S NO ONE ELSE, but we're growing apart (riiiiiiiiight)...

Lamest excuse I've given:

I'm way too shallow to be with a great guy like you (meaning, you suck in the sack and I'm really not attracted to you, you have no game, but you're probably a really great catch for the right BORING girl who doesn't know any better, and I need to go sleep with other people and won't cheat on you so I'm breaking up with you)...

In college, my boyfriend broke up with me for "a reason that I would understand but could not accept and couldn't tell me"
Up to this day I think he was involved in some illegal stuff, but I guess I'll never really know!

My ex is psycho and I'm afraid she might try to do something to you if we keep seeing each other.

"I'm moving and I'm not good with long distance relationships"- The typical pre-college break up line, but it is great when they come home for weekends/breaks andthen you see them out around town later - Really?!

Added: What about the "I love you, I'm just not IN love with you." I seriously have never heard any self-respecting male say this, but it seems to be a good break up cliche.

when i was barely 18, i was 'dating' a guy that was about 25 and was a returned LDS missionary. we actually only went on about 4 dates and he proposed to me--when i declined his proposal, he told me he was done dating me because he was hoping that proposing would get him to 'at least 3rd base' before he broke off the engagement. what a douche.

I had an ex who just "disappeared". Stopped calling, hid from me like an idiot, and basically tried to act as if we never happened. Dated for 1 1/2 years. His friends called him all kind of bad names and stopped hanging out with him.

Found out later by a letter he sent me that, he had been chased by a girl I couldn't stand. He was flattered by her attention (and I'm sure other things), and just couldn't be man enough to tell me. He said he didn't want to see me cry. Whatever dude. I don't have time for immature boys. Immediately after this fiasco, I met my husband. :)

My favorite - "You're too smart for me and you intimidate me."

Like Rachel I'll take credit for a crappy one. "We just don't mesh." Really I wanted to tell him he was way too much of a momma's boy and lousy in bed. However, my rare diplomatic side surfaced and I just couldn't be that dang mean and truthful. I could handle being dubbed lame just not -itchy. Oh well. It's all a learning experience and part of growing up. Crunchiness balances smoothness.

"it's not you... it's me...."

I went to a very small Christian high school. My first boyfriend broke up with me because he said my mom wasns't a "Christian". Ok....whatever, you're dating me, not her! Lol!

my ex used the i love you but I'm not in love with you excuse wayyy to often...

"My mom said I have to break up because you're bringing down my grades." That would be my 17 year old boyfriend when we were in HS. The sad thing is, he was such a mama's boy, that's probably exactly what happened.

Lamest of all time? The guy who broke up with me b/c he didn't like my housemate's (admittedly political) refrigerator magnets. Seriously.

No one has ever broken up with me. MWAH HA HA. I always did it, and I don't even remember exactly what I said. I never made any excuses though. it was always a version of; "I wanna break up, sorry." I really don't get all the theatrics people use.

Can we just be friends? Yeah, riiiiiiiigggggggggghhhhhhhtttttttt!

I was "too granola" i.e. too much of a hippie.
He was right, I was kind of granola back then, but still......LAME!

My ex husband. asked me on a date this way "ummm yeah want try to do some star trek conventions with me or not I dont care"

should have taken a clue there...

His proposal "ummm yeah so you want to try this marriage thing out?"

Another bell tolling, but apparently I am deaf

His breakup/divorce line " yeah uh M, I dont think we are in love anymore, just blame my ADHD or whatever, I dont want to do this anymore its too much work"
My worst?
"you have anger issues and I am a happy person, so I just dont think our personalities are getting along" too which he threw a chair across the room at his work (sheriff's office he was a deputy in training) and I moved out of town

J. , the ADHD thing was ALWAYS the reason for everything, or so he thought. Not the fact he was a jerk and idiot. I hated that reason. Now he owes me big time money and he is STILL using the ADHD excuse. ARGH

what a great thread!
looking back now, and even looking through the responses thus far, it startles me how even the nicest of us (and i'm WAY including me in this, although i'm not always nice<G>) are really hypocrites. we are all very indignant at how much our former lovers lied all over us, but just about every one of us lied right back to 'spare' someone's feelings.
maybe one thing we should all focus on teaching our kids is how to break up kindly but honestly?
eh. probably unrealistic.
:)
the lamest one i ever got was no excuse at all. my much older lover (i was 17, he was 27) asked me to marry him, and i accepted, even though i knew deep down he didn't mean it. we told his brothers, some of our mutual friends, i started dreaming about dresses, and didn't hear from him again for a year. maybe 2. and he never even mentioned it. and i was too cowardly to call him on it. i think it was just a fantasy that he felt like indulging in that particular night, and never even bothered his little head over whether or not it hurt me.
weirdly, it DIDN'T hurt me terribly, although i was certainly disappointed. as i said, on some level i knew that my exciting, dangerous, sexy, asshat lover was.....well, a total douche.
the lamest one i ever dealt out had the dubious distinction of being true. 'you are way too nice for me.' oh, what a sweetheart he was. and he adored me. i was in that awful stage though, where i was into bad boys, and he just didn't spark my circuits one little bit.
and i'm certainly guilty of doing the inexcusable, blaming him for something that i had basically pressured him into, ie moving too fast, not moving fast enough, too edgy, too 'safe'. i had a basketful of excuses. and lots of boys to try them all out on<G>.
if there was ever a girl who seemed destined to be a trainwreck, it was me and my horrible, horrible boyfriends. how i ended up marrying a sexy sweetheart is one of life's great miracles.
:) khairete
S.

After 6 months of dating... confirmed that he was a chronic pot smoker and overall "over-priviledged" loser. Gave him a shot to clean up his act, but when he missed a dinner date b/c he left the keys to his Porsche IN the Lexus which he had parked at a friend's house and couldn't get a ride back there (p.s. he was 30 at the time).... his excuse for why it wouldn't work?

"I want to be different for you, but I just can't". Outstanding.

"I need some space"...

"I'm too attracted to you." I've actually heard this one more than once. One guy claimed to be distracted by his sexual attraction to me, said that he couldn't get anything else done with me around. In his defense, we got little else done, but I was willing to incorporate other aspects of our lives. Each of us loved the other's parents and vice versa. He is now married to a woman who does not turn him on sexually at all, and she knows it. Yeah, well.... We still consider each other family. Oh, I almost forgot this funny part. We were out one night and he left the table. Another guy came to our table to talk to me while his buddy was keeping an eye on my guy in the men's room. Who doesn't know that game? We talked about it and laughed when he got back, but he did tell me that he didn't want to be with somebody who would be getting attention from other guys, even though he knew that I wasn't seeking the attention. Seriously, dude?

Another guy used to stand me up ALL THE TIME. I still don't know how we became and remain friendly. He told me that he liked me too much, and the feeling was too intense. I actually could sympathize with that, so I heard him out. I figured out that this didn't mean that I owed him an open door with me.

Another guy wanted to have sex with me, and I wanted to wait until I knew that I even wanted him before sex. He said, "Why do women always want to be good girls with me and marry me?" Hmmm, it didn't take long for me to realize that this was HIS problem. I hadn't mentioned marriage OR commitment of any kind.

My lame excuse? I once told a guy that he lived too close (around the corner, walking distance, but one would probably rather ride a bike or drive a car the two minutes). He actually did live too close for my comfort. He wanted to be together ALL THE TIME, and that was too much. When I told him that I didn't want that kind of commitment right off the bat, he promptly decided that he didn't want to date me anymore.

A couple of decades ago everybody was using the "I love you, but I need to find myself" line.

We are too routine :*(

The lamest was after a "perfectly good" date: "I had a great time, I'll call you tomorrow". What?

Both were in HS.
1. was dating for a few months. i was a freshman, he was a junior. he'd given me his school ring, etc. he'd gone to a friend and asked her to breakup with me. then drove by my house to see if i was home. i was sitting outside. literally drove by. just stopped to say hi, well bye! called him later crying told him he was a jerk for doing it that way. he changed his mind. didn't mean it, just stop crying...went to a concert at the school a week later. he was there, but totally ignoring me. was actually hanging on some other girl. friends asked me about it, i said i don't know ask him. so they did. His response was 'tell her I don't need a second mom'... really?!? didn't know being acknowledged meant i was trying to be one! so i sent the friend back to him.told her to walk up to him, don't say a word. open his hand and give him his ring. then walk away.

2. Still HS. Had this guy 'ask me out' on a Sunday. On Friday he calls to say we have to break up. What? Why? No reason. Bull, you at least owe me the reason. the truth... 'i thought dating you would help my reputation. it's not.' Hahaha. Well I could've told ya that one!