Just a Poll: Is 35 Too Old . . .

Too old? No. I had my one and only at age 36. Advantages: Career in full swing, financial status stable, wisdom of a 36 year old. Cons: Other than a bit tiring at times, parenthood later in life has been great.

Nope. Have at it.... is what I say.

I have a 12 year old and we are TTC. I don't think anytime a baby is wanted that it's a bad thing.

No, not necessarily if you are in good health. Would I want to do it? Personally no... I think that would be a really hard age gap between the baby and the older two. But, If you are ready to go for it and do it again, more power to you!

My wife had our last (our 8th) just days before she turned 35. 35 is not too old.

We have been delighted many times with our 8th. But we have been delighted many times with all our kids. Those that want to limit their children want to limit their happiness. And I don't understand why anyone would limit their happiness.

BTW, our 25th grandchild should be born this week.

Good luck to you and yours.

I intend (God willing) to have another child around the age of 35. I absolutely do not think it's too old.

Sure, there are things to consider. In some places, that's considered a "high risk" pregnancy, but a lot depends on your personal health, etc. As you age, the risk of Down's Syndrome also goes up...I don't have the exact quote in front of me, but I do know that by the time you are 40, your chances are really high (maybe 1 in 25 to 1 in 40? Not sure.)

I say go for it. :) I love babies!!

I had my last at 34 and love my 17 yr old to pieces. It did come at a cost of gestational diabetes and anemia. I was exhausted all the time. After 35 I would consider my family complete because of the increased risk factor for the mom and child. Something to consider, while a healthy child would be an easy fit in your family,that is not a given. Are you all ready for the risk of significant issues complicating matters? Do you have a good support system in place? Do you have good insurance? How stable is your income? I don't want to rain on your parade just giving you things to evaluate!

Not too old....if you are healthy. I had my first at 33, second at 36, and third at 38. My first pregnancy was easier than my last two. And I do think my age played a part of that. But all pregnancies were healthy, and delivery was a breeze.

The question for you and your husband is whether or not you want to reset the clock and start over with another newborn. My first child, a girl, was very high maintenance. My second child, a boy, was such an easy baby that I thought that having a third would be easy.

Baby #3 is now 20 months old, and he is hell on wheels. I'm pretty sure he has already shaved at least 5 years off my life. He is such a bad sleeper and bad napper that I basically have to have the house dead quiet (with the sound machine in his room) so that he (and the rest of us) can get a little rest. This isn't quite fair to my older two kids, but it's just the way it has to be for now.

Luckily, all three kids are adorable, so it makes all the screaming, crying, and fighting a little easier to stomach. And I do love them more than anything and couldn't imagine life without them.

35 is young in some circles. Most of my friends tried for their one-and-dones at 40. I had my three at 35, 37 and 39. I love having three, and I don't feel old at all. You'll be the same age whether you have the baby or not, so go for it! My 30-something friends are literally shocked to find out I'm 42. I do just fine among the young moms out and about-and the more "mature" ones too. Depends on you!

I would have been game until 40. I had my first two at 20 and 22, my last two 31 and 33.

I will warn you that it makes a strange dynamic adding more with a big gap, well at least for me it was. With all the running around with the older ones the younger two were raised in a car.

my youngest was born when I was 39. The pregnancy was more difficult on my body, but he was extremely healthy, still is and is smart as a whip. The up at night, lack of sleep, cranky collicky baby, and stubborn toddler part was SOOO hard because all I wanted was to SLEEP. (add to that, I had 2 teenagers at the time, with all their issues. Then one of the teens very nearly died, so that made it even harder). That was the hard part.

The easy part was that I found myself taking things much less seriously. Such as he spilled a whole box of cereal ... oh well, get out the broom. He broke my grandma's vase? Oh well, I should have put it up. He peed in the front yard? Well, at least he is peeing.

I was much more patient with him. Chose my battle more carefully, enjoyed him being a sweet little boy more. Read to him more, played games more.

I'm 50 now, he is 11. He's a good, sweet kid. I wonder how it will be with him as an older teen, when he gets married, has kids. Will I be able to be a fun grandma with his kids like I am with my older kids children? I don't know, but I don't regret him.

I suspect my response will be similar to the other 40something responses. And speaking of 40something, I had my daughter at age 39. She is a happy healthy, 2 1/2 year old and I am a happy healthy frazzled, well do the math!

I hope that you do not let us decide for you. Life rarely goes according to plan which makes it more interesting.

I couldn't even think about kids in my 20s and early 30s bc I had some major life fires to put out!!

Go with your gut!

Not too old!! Most women I know that live and work in the same area as me wait until about 30 to get started. I had my first at 31 and my second at 34. I am undecided about a 3rd but would wait until I am 36/37 to have the right spacing. I have a good friend who had her one and only at 40.

No, not too old. The only con is once you hit that "magic" number less of your eggs are viable. I would get on it sooner than later. Good luck!

NO!!! My sister just had her first (TWINS!!) and she's 37. Another good friend just had a baby last week and she's 35. Go for it!!!!

No that is not "too old."
In my neck of the woods, there are so many Moms, that have had a baby later than that.
I was older than 35 when I had my first, child.
Why?
Because I didn't want to have kids right away after getting married.
But fortunately, we got pregnant naturally each time.
Meaning, we didn't have to go the IVF route.

But you still need to decide for yourself, personally.
Then talk to the Hubbster about everything.
Then see your OB/GYN.

I am 35 and I do not feel too old to have another one!

I have 3 and it was the best decision I ever made!
2 boys and then a girl!

Good Luck!

I don't think its too old. I'm almost 36 & ttc #2. My first is 17.
Good luck :-)

Obviously there are pros and cons to having all the kids in your "younger" years (20's) vs having them in your 30's and 40's.

My biggest pros for having kids in 30's and even 40's would be your maturity as a mom. You are not a kid having a kid anymore. You've been a grown up for quite some time and have experienced life. Also, I would have to assume you are more financially stable than someone in their early 20's. So, for those reasons, I'd say go for it! The only draw back I can think of is your energy level as this little baby gets older and into it's tween years. If you get pregnant right this minute, when that kid is turning 14/15, you'll be 50. Are you prepared to have the energy for that?

At the end of the day though, if you really want this 3rd baby, WHY NOT????? :)

Good luck

No, I don't think it is too old at all. I think if you want more children you should have as many as you want until your body won't let you get pregnant anymore. In these times people are in much better health, their life expectancy is years longer than ever before and with all the medical support you would have it is not too old.

I hope not :) I had my last baby at 35... and MANY of my friends had babies at 40 (gasp!). Both my grandma's had babies at 40 as well.

I didn't notice any difference in having a baby at 32 (my first) 33) my second or 35 (my third).

I had my kids in my mid 30's. To me it was "I want all my kids before 40".

So no, I wouldn't think that 35 is too old. My consideration was how old I was willing to be to start from scratch again and how old I would be with kids at home (and how many college educations I would have to pay, in terms of how many children...)

Dawn

I had my second after I turned 35, and I was worried I would be at risk for extra testing because of my "advanced maternal age". My doctor laughed and said if I was closer to 40, he might do a few more tests than normal if there was cause for concern, but having babies at 35 is fine. No cause for concern these days.

So... pros... a BABY!! Feeling your family is complete.

Cons? How did I do this whole not sleeping thing without a problem when I was younger?!?! (My 9 month old doesn't like to sleep. At all. Life is rough at my house.) My sister once told me to have kids young while I could still pull an all-nighter. I laughed, but now I'm thinking there's something to that. Ha! Also, it means there's less time to focus on your older children's activities.

Let us know what the hubby says! And good luck!

In our area early 40s is when most parents I know START having kids.

I was something of a local freak having my (now 10yo) in my 20s.

The new normal around HERE follows this timeline:

Early 20's = College /Gradschool
Late 20's = Focus on your career
Early-mid 30's = Marriage & focus on you marriage
Late 30's-early 40's = START your family

Mom @ 22/ 23 I was more often mistaken as the nanny, and my early 50's mum (his grandmother) as his mom.

You have NO idea how happy I was to turn 30 so I could stop sidestepping my age in casual conversation with other moms. It was still kind of shocking to them when they found out I was 10-15 years younger than they were, but 30mumble isn't social suicide in patenting circles the way 20something is.

to me not worth the risk with age including husbands age.I have 4 in & LOVE all of them to pieces I think what life would be like w/out them & it's unimagineable.If I were in upper 30's mid 40's & only had 1 or none I wouldn't persue starting a family or bigger family.I never wanted to have children after 33 i'm 32 w/ 4.The risk with age out weighed my decision when to begin my family now that I ended to have more children maybe i'll get baby fever don't know not there yet I just have to remeber my 4 & that I went through that already 4x's over.Good Luck in what you decide

If you feel it's right and your husband is on board, 35 is totally not too old to have another baby.

Didn't I recently read a statistic that says 1/3 of all babies are born to mothers older than 40? Could that be right? If so, you're still years away from that. Go for it, if it's what you both want!

I think that 35 is the new 25 when it comes to having kids nowadays. Go for it!! And, who in the he!! cares what others think?! Do what you want to do :-).

honestly, ( because you asked) I wouldn't

It was important for me for my kids to be a unit, and I personally feel when you get a 9-10 year age difference that you lose some of that closeness. NOT to mention the dynamic that you set up when you add a third. that leaves someone in the middle.

I would suggest that if you honestly want a baby, adopt or train to be a foster mom. It feels like you have already had your family and now if you want to add too it, you could do so in a way to really help a child that is in need.

Not too old. I am 35 and had my second last year. I do find that I am a bit more tired this time around but I also have a 3 year old that keeps me very busy. I would say go for it. The saying goes....age is just a number. you may find that it isn't as easy getting pregnant this time around though.

Good luck!

I'm 40 and pregnant with my third. I got pregnant with my first at 35.

We got a late start because I was busy working. I"m so happy to have started a family later in life.

Well, I was 35 when I got pregnant with my son, and he's perfectly wonderful -- no problems other than being a little punk.

Well, I'm 38 1/2 (since age is the question) and have an almost 5 y.o. and a 2 1/2 y.o. NOT TOO OLD. JUST RIGHT!

Pro's: People think I'm younger than I am (if I keep my roots colored). And, I am happy with who I am....which makes raising daughters much easier (I think.)

Con's: Ugh....two in school and starting over? Not sure I would do that right now....but this 2 1/2 y.o. gives me a run for my money!

I can't physically have any more babies, but we've been talking about fostering/adopting when the youngest is older (for her safety more than my sanity).

I hope you find your happiness!

I don't think that is too old at all. I had mine at 33 and 38. We were the first of all our friends to have kids. Everyone finished grad school and/or postdoctoral jobs and then started having kids in their mid to late 30s.

Updated

I don't think that is too old at all. I had mine at 33 and 38. We were the first of all our friends to have kids. Everyone finished grad school and/or postdoctoral jobs and then started having kids in their mid to late 30s.

Not at all! As long as you are healthy, and you and your husband agree, why not?

I had my first child at 42. He's a happy, healthy 7 year-old now. At the time, we also had three other children at home, my wonderful step-children, who were 11, 14, and 15.

You'd think with the age differences, the kids might not be that close. It's totally opposite, though! They are so close and really love each other.

Our 18 year-old just left for college this fall. That was sad, and our 7 year-old really misses him. But, it was great this weekend when he came home to visit. Likewise, our oldest, who is now 23 and lives in another state, was just home the week before. The boys had a blast. Still playing football and basketball in the house. Still knocking down decorations and leaving balls all over the family room or wherever else they land. Our daughter, who is also still in college, lives in town, so we get to see her more often. She and the youngest were just conspiring about Halloween costumes.

I also know many other families with various larger age differences between the children. All get along fine, and no problems with that.

For a few years, you may have some scheduling issues to work out: having to pick up kids from school during nap time and running older kids to practices and activities and having to bring the baby along, but these things can be worked out, especially if you have friends and family who can help.

I wish you the very best with this!

J. F.

No. I'd have a baby today if DH was for it. I'm 35.

Do it! you're not old at all, I had my first at 25 my second at 33 and my third was born two months shy of my 35th birthday. I think your older kids will be a great help with the baby.
Good luck!

I hope not... I'm 35 and due in 10 weeks! I am in a similar spot with my other kids... my oldest just turned 9, my middle just turned 8, and my current youngest is almost 5. Before we found out about this one, hubby and I were both happy to be done with all the baby stuff and looking forward to all day kindergarten next year when I could start subbing at the school again. (Not ready to go back to a full-time classroom.) When we had talked about the 3rd we had agreed if it happened before I was 30 great if not we were done... she came a month before I was 31. We thought we were done and then were surprised with our little one on the way.

My biggest worry with this new little one is that I won't have the energy or patience I had with the others. But then I think that if I could deal with a newborn, 3yr old, and 4yr old together all day, even if I don't have as much energy as I did before- I won't be chasing 3 all day, just one- right? lol!

On the other hand, the older kids will probably be a big help (my 4 yr daughter is already looking forward to it) and I know that she is very easy going/social because she has been taken everywhere with her big brothers since she was a baby, so I am hoping this little guy will be too.

I had my third child when I was 38 1/2 years old. I was like you -- wanted to be done with having kids by the time I was 30. I had my second (and supposedly final) child just a few weeks shy of my 31st birthday. But then I had a change of heart. Initially my husband wasn't so keen on the idea -- our youngest was in grade school, our oldest in middle school, we had gotten rid of all our baby gear -- but eventually he changed his mind. No nagging involved -- we talked a few times but ultimately he came around to my way of thinking. So now I'm the proud mama of 3 beautiful daughters (FYI . . . I didn't want a third child because I was hoping for a boy . . . I just wanted a third child).

It is definitely a different experience the third time around, especially with two older children. I find I'm more relaxed/laid back about many things I was more uptight about with my older girls. My older girls love their little sister -- and built in babysitting is great! I feel a little guilty because my little one is often dragged around to her big sisters' various activities and events. But now she is 5 and in Kinder and she's getting involved in her own activities (soccer, environmental club at school).

I have no regrets about having my third child at an older age!

FYI . . . some commenters suggested that having such a big age gap will mean your kids aren't close. Don't buy into that! My youngest brother is 10 years younger than me and we have always been close. It's part of the reason I had no qualms about age difference when we were deciding on having a third child. My sister is only 2 1/2 years younger than me and we aren't close at all. My both my 17 year old and 13 year old have very good relationship with their 5 year old sister. I have no doubt that will carry through to adulthood.

I think 35 is a great age to have another baby. Good luck!!!!!

I don't think so. I used to, but now I'm 37 and if having a 4th would be easy or affordable, I think I'd do it.

No, had my son at 26. We are going to start trying for number 2 and I will be 33 in December. I had a miscarriage about 2 years ago but was not really ready to try again until recently. You have to do what is right for your family and not live by what society dictates.

I thought that too, and I did have 3 kids before I turned thirty. Thought I was done, then when my youngest was 5 (I was 33) I had a surprise 4th child! I have to tell you, it has been the best. The five year spacing was awesome, all my older 3 kids (now aged 10, 8, and 6) dote on my 1 year old. She is so lucky and so loved. My 10 year old is incredibly helpful too. Having the older three in school means that I am able to spend lots of quality time with my tot and really enjoy her as though she were my first, but without the stress and worry of being a first time mom. I am loving this special time and feel so blessed to be able to go through this again. I wondered if I would find it hard to go back to having a tiny one at home, but it has been so great and much easier than when the first three were all young and at home at once. As far as being thirty five goes, you are healthy and if you've wanted this for 2 years I say go for it (with your hubby's blessing of course.) I am enjoying this so much that I am considering having just one more when I am 35! Best of luck :)

Not at all! If you are in good health and didn't have any complications in your previous pregnancies, you should be just fine. I had both of my kids at 36 and 38. I didn't have any problems. My first pregnancy was perfect. I felt great. With my daughter I was sicker than a dog for five months with morning sickness, but nothing some meds couldn't help. They are now healthy, happy bright children, ages 3.5 and almost 5. Go for it!
HTH,
A.

Nope! Go for it!

We would love to have a third, but after two near-deaths (on my part) giving birth, we've decided that two is enough. Those circumstances aside, I would be looking to get pregnant at 35 (currently 33 and my husband is 39).

Good luck!

I was 41.2 at the birth of my last daughter. She's perfect and lovely.

You're young. If you have the energy and means and love in your heart, don't ask us, ask your husband. He has to be on board.

GL!

Thirty five is not too old. I had my one and only when I was 40. However for me, three would be too too too many (and I am one of three). It would be exhausting. I would consider how you will manage with an infant and the commitments your two older children have now - chances are either you and DH will be splitting up a lot (one taking the 9 year old places and one with the infant and 5 year old) or you will be taking the infant a lot of places/later evenings/etc or curtailing the older children's play/activities for nap time.

I did not consider the genetic risks associated with advancing maternal age to be an issue for us as I would have only carried a normal pregnancy to term. There is some new evidence associating autism with advancing paternal age but the age associated risk is still relatively low. However, if you would not terminate a pregnancy - I would think long and hard about how a special needs child might impact your two other children.

As far as the age difference goes - kids are all different. My mom and her brother are 13 years apart (he was born after another child died) and they are incredibly close. My dad and his sister are a year apart and not nearly as close.

Your age should not determine whether or not you are too old to have a baby! Your frame of mind is what is important. If you and your husband are on the same page and love children and their activities, then go for it! I was 39 when I had my daughter. We are an active family: soccer, cycling, tennis, board games, dancing--whatever she likes, we do. I hear women my age say that they just don't have the energy to have little ones, but I say that's malarkey! Just do it!

Of course, the risks involved with a pregnancy at 35 are not the same as when you are in your twenties. That is something that you, your husband, and doctor have to discuss. Just my opinion based on my friends' experiences (most over the age of 30 for 1st pregnancy), odds are that things will go well.

I don't think there is really a right or wrong age to have kids. There are more risks though after age 30. For me, the right time was at age 24 and 27. I am 32 and happy to be done having kids. I wanted to make sure that I was done having kids by the time I was 28 because for me personally I didn't want to have a higher risk pregnancy and have to do more tests and stuff than I would have when I was over 30.
But if you feel the time is ready for you and your husband, then go for it! There is nothing wrong with that. Good luck :)

For ME (meaning my family, myself) it's too old.

For the general population, I think it's totally normal. I am 30 and consistently the youngest (by far) mom in outings. I know many more moms who are waiting until their thirties to have children. People are just waiting longer now. I really do think it's becoming a sort if norm. I can't think of cons, unless you have underlying health conditions, or struggling with obesity. Then again, I would say that to any age. Oh, and the age gap would be a con for me...personally. I can't really speak for you, though!

I had my kids at 32 and 35. It is a pretty average age to have a child around here, as I don't see a lot of moms under 40 at school functions. I personally think anything under thirty is too young to have a child!

I have a 15 yo, a 14 yo, a 10 month old and 1 more due in April. I always had my plans -- 3 kids and done by the time I was 27. (But I also thought I would be married by the time I was 19. I got married for the first time 2 1/2 years ago.) I just turned 35 last month. I told myself if I wasn't pregnant with the last one by the time I turned 36 that I would not try anymore. So now I have 3 beautiful girls with a baby on the way. I wouldn't change it for the world...

Had my first at 37 and second at 41. They are now 15 and 10. Wouldn't have it any other way. They keep me young - most days! :)

I was 35 when I had my daughter. My other daughter was 8 and my son was 5. I had no problems during my pregnacy. It has been two years and I have to say I was able to enjoy her more ( not to say I don't enjoy my other children). With my first child I was worried is she okay, am I doing this right, ect... With my second I was just trying to survive :) a two year old and a new born. With my third it has been wonderful because I don't worry nearly as much, I know I will mess up as a parent but I won't break my kids, and my older two are able to help out and they don't need me to do everything for them.

Our biggest problem was my oldest daughter was jealous and worried that she would not be daddy's girl anymore. So we have daddy daughter dates and mommy daughter days. We also do this for my son.

Hope this helped. I hope the talk with your husband helps you figure out what is best for your family.

Of course it's not too old! I had my first at 32 and my second at 38...the second was a bit later than I had planned, but that's how it worked out. And I couldn't be happier. As long as you are in good health and take care of yourself, 40 can be the new 30!!

Do what's best for you and yours - and God bless!

I don't necessarily think it's too old. But the main caveat to that is are you healthy. And are you willing to accept the risks that are a possibility with later pregnancies.

Me ... I wouldn't have had another had both my kids been in school already.

But if it's what you really want, have the financial means to support your child for the rest of their life should something happen, and your hubby agrees ... then go for it.

I turned 30 while pregnant with my first, turned 33 while pregnant with my second and was 38, going on 39 later that year, when my third was born. My boys were 8 & 5 when their sister was born. I have no problems working with the age differences.
At my initial appointment with the midwife with my third I was asked all the usual questions.
At the end of the Q&A her take on my age was..well you're over 35 which is usually considered an issue but you are healthy, active, already have 2 healthy children and show no problems so you are fine and your age will have no baring on anything. Had she felt that there were any concerns or problems that would make me "high risk" I would not have been able to get my care from or deliver at the birth center. They can not treat high risk patients, they have to refer you out. I went on to deliver a full term, healthy, strong baby girl in a competely non-medicated, no complications vaginal delivery. I didn't even tear at all!
Age isn't as big a problem as it once was considered.

Goodness NO! I had mine at 33 and 35. If you love being a mom, go for it!

I had mine at 39. :)

Hey I am much much closer to forty than thirty-five...my husband actually is still kicking the idea of another around in his head.

Round here moms are having babies up to 45...I know one just turned 46...

Chances of some issues are higher after 35 but you are by no means old...my best friend had her first at 36, and they want more...

go for it...

I have a 16, 13, 10, and a 3 year old. I'm 44. It works great for us!!!

Seriously??? I didn't even start having kids until I was 38. Had my last at 41.
Most of my friends started younger than I did - at 35. So many women now have a career first and then have children. No way is it too old. In many circles, it's the norm.