Hi M.,
Just wanted to say that I am so, so sorry that you and your family are having to go through this. As a Type I diabetic myself (since I was 8), I am intimately familiar with all the difficulties of this disease, and as a mom of a 2 year old now, I can only imagine how heartbreaking it must have been for my mom to go through my diagnosis...so again, I'm so sorry for your pain.
I think some of the other responders have a great idea in searching the internet for kid-focused information for your daughter, and for a counselor of some sort that she can talk to about it. If you had someone you could talk to about all your feelings and struggles dealing with this disease, I bet that would help too.
Also, I suggest you try to make contact with the diabetes bloggers' world because there you will find so many caring people, support, and maybe most importantly, people who have been there before.
In addition to the great ADA website, there's The Diabetes OC (online community) at http://diabetesoc.blogspot.com/ and Dlife is pretty great too (http://www.dlife.com/). And maybe Diabetes Self-Management (http://www.diabetesselfmanagement.com/) will have some good ideas to help you learn to manage your daughter's health, and eventually, help her learn to manage her own health.
I'm sorry I don't have more advice for your daily life, but I have faith that you'll find the right balance...You're her parent, you will know best how to help her! =) My parents didn't keep my blood sugars absolutely perfect, but they did the absolute best they could, and never made me feel bad for highs or lows that were out of my control, taught me to strive to be proactive instead of guilty, showed me how much better I feel if I take great care of myself, and I am very grateful to them for all they did.
By the way, is a pump a possibility for your daughter? One shot every third day instead of several a day can make a huge difference.
I know it's a huge amount of information to take in and a huge physical and emotional adjustment to your lives. Your daughter is so lucky to have you on her side. Best of luck and God bless!