L.H.
As a cancer survivor I can tell you that the emotional turmoil that a cancer patient goes through is rough, to say the least. Fortunately, I did not have to go through Chemo or radiation. Since your friend's surgery was a few months ago, she will have probably gone through the worst part of the emotional issues. Now, if she is going to have to undergo chemo or radiation, she will probably be hit with more emotional issues. My suggestion is to do something nice for her that makes her feel whole. Whether it is breast cancer (mine was NOT) or another form of cancer - it robs you of your feelings of being complete and even of being normal. Many cancer patients feel like they have done something to bring this horrible disease on. And to be honest, a lot of times we do. Simple changes in diet can actually greatly reduce your chances of getting canser by reducing or eliminating free radicals within the body. She needs some pampering. To some of us, pampering may mean a full body massage. To others it may mean a night out for dinner and a movie. To others it may mean a night with no kids or other interuptions so we can soak in the tub for a couple of hours and then curl up with a good book. You wuold know better than us what would be pampering for her. I will say that depending on her type and location of cancer and the treatment, a massage may not work for her. It may be too painful. Another thing that just popped into my head is that maybe you could take her to a nice bed and breakfast (or even a more economical hotel) in a place that she has wanted to go, but never found the time for. Maybe she has always wanted to go to New Braunsfel and do some shopping or something along those lines.
I know some of these suggestions can be a bit pricy. My intent is not to have you go out and spend a fortune that you cannot afford on her. I am merely making some suggestions to get you thinking. I know that what I really wanted was to run away from the cancer and forget that I had it. There were times that I really wanted to boo-hoo and carrying on as well. After my surgery, I waws a basket case until I went back and they were able to confirm that they had gotten it all. Now 10 years (this past February 9th - whoo hoo!) later, I am proud that I can say "I BEAT CANCER!!" However, there is always that niggling little thought, "What if it comes back?" So, in light of that and the "freshness" of this for your friend, she also needs to know that you are there for her to talk to. Don't pressure her to talk about it. Just let her know that you care about her and you hope that she knows that you are here for her to talk to about it whenever she feels the need. There is a natural curiosity about it and the effects of it, emotionally as well as physically. However, she may not be at the point that she realizes that. It took me some time before I could really talk about it, even when that was all that I wanted to do. I know that doesn't really make sense. I guess it is just part of the emotion crap cancer puts us through. We do really yearn for someone to talk to about it, but we so want to ignore it and deny it into non-existance, that we just cannot open up about it.
Now that I have that about as clear as mud, I will close and let you ponder my suggestions and come up with your own to fit your friends personality and needs.
I will say a prayer for your friend. She is fortunate to have a friend like you who desires to do something for her.
Blessings,
L.