Just Roll over and Go Back to Sleep!

We just let them crawl in bed with us because it was not worth the fight. They only did it a week or two, maybe a month, then they just stayed in bed and slept all night.

I think making a big deal out of it prolonged the waking up, like when you take something away, they just focus on that one thing and want it even more.

By not focusing any attention on it they just went through that phase and were done with it.

She's waking up and bored, so it's time to find you for entertainment. You get out of bed and walk her back to her room, probably tuck her in with a kiss and hug and she feels great. All this warm and fuzzy attention!

Let her know before bed time that you can't get out of bed to put her back in because Mommies need sleep too! Make sure she has some favorite books or plush toys or dolls she can talk to - but nothing too entertaining that will keep her up herself.

When she comes into your room tell her it's sleep time and she needs to go back into her room and she can look at her books or talk to her doll if she is not tired right away. Then don't get out of bed - she made it to your room, she can make it back to hers. She is old enough to get into bed and make herself comfortable with her blankets etc. Just make sure you stay awake long enough to hear if anything goes wrong...

She's used to the attention in the middle of the night, so she may not like this and may cry at your bed or start to say she is scared if it gets you to do what she wants. Be prepared to either let her cry it out at your bed or continue to walk her back to her room.

My kids didn't get up too much in the middle of the night because I never got out of bed for them - just sent them back, but my daughter (who is 6) likes to come out of her room before she falls asleep. To combat this, we bought 3 fake flowers of her choosing and she can use them in exchange for coming out of her room - for whatever she wants -- potty, get another book, hug and kiss, just see what we're doing etc. If all the flowers have been exchanged and she comes out of her room, we start taking her favorite things out of her room in exchange. This has worked wonderful in our house. For the middle of the night, you may want to use just one flower if you feel her reasons for coming out are legitimite.

Incentives do not work. Internal motivation works. Have you tried reasoning with her and giving her a good reason to stay in bed, not a "treat"? Rewards work in the short term ONLY, you need to get "buy in," i..e get them to decide for themselves.

I explained to my daughter that she can't keep waking mommy up, that mommy needs her sleep or she will be grumpy and yelling mommy. Now when my daughter is grumpy before bed, she will say to me, "mommy, help me go to sleep so I'm not grumpy tomorrow." She rarely bothers us in the middle of the night, she knows to roll over and go back to sleep. And this was my baby that get me up 4-5 times a night till she was 13 months! and gave up her nap at 18 months...My terrible sleeper!

My 2.5 year old is a different story entirely........ I'm pregnant and getting woken up 1-2 times every night. I just keep reminding myself it's momentary and soon they will be grown and out of the house and I will miss getting woken up......

When you find out what works, let me know. My 7 1/2 year old has recently started waking several times a night to inform me of various things. She has to pee. She's going to feed the cats because one of them keeps pouncing on her toes and won't leave her alone. She had a nightmare that I died and she got upset so she wanted me to know, and while she doesn't want to talk about it she just had to tell me. She woke up because her sister is snoring or talking in her sleep. And she begins very sweetly.

"I'm sorry to wake you, Mommy, but..."

I can't even get mad at her. Last night it was, "I'm sorry to wake you Mommy but my cold medicine stopped working and I have boogers everywhere. I can't breathe."

::sigh::

For my son he did not get to play video games if he got into bed with us or had to be 'retucked' in. If he woke up came to our room and went back on his own he could play, but if he needed an escort or got into bed with us then no video games. I think he went three days w/out video game time and he was in his bed all night.

I told my DD that she can wake me for an emergency or if she is truly scared, but not for just being awake too early. I told her anything before the big hand is on the 7 is going to get her cranky mommy vs fun, happy mommy. There is no prize, other than me being in a better mood if she lets me sleep like I know she can (she usually sleeps til 8 so 7 isn't asking much).

If she gets up to go potty, then you can't lock her in her room, but I agree that you can lock her out of yours. We put a baby door handle thing on SD's room so DD can't get in there without permission. If you put one on the outside of your door, she'd be locked out without you having to fiddle with a lock in the middle of the night if she gets sick or something.

My kids usually slept well but if one did wake I would walk them back to their room, if scared we would talk about why nothing is there to be afraid of and pray with them, tell them I am tired and need to sleep and so are they so unless there is a really important reason to come in my room that they were to stay in their bed. That usually worked. If it continued I was a bit more firm about letting them know they needed sleep and to stay in their own bed even if awake. I, personally, wouldn't do any kind of reward for this kind of thing. Just let them know you are proud of them for staying in bed and learning to sleep at night in their own bed without waking you. They will learn to sleep without waking up soon when they know you are not getting up or letting them come to you. Just walk her back to her room. Maybe you could put a book by her bed or some little thing she could look at for a second when she wakes and not come to wake you. I always told our kids to not leave their bedrooms but if she started walking around the house then that's another issue.

Lock your door. Seriously. I know it sounds harsh but it isn't. I can assure you if a child is in real distress they will pound your door down. So just try it, you lock the door, she will try the door. Then she has a choice, knock or go back to bed, sometimes they just go back to bed. Sometimes they will call you, you just say it is too early, go back to bed sweetie (or something like that) then they have a choice, escalate or go back to bed. Most of the rest will go to bed at that point. If at that point they start pounding on the door you will have to try something new.

The thing is if you can cut off direct contact with you it forces them to make the choices, it forces them to self soothe. If this doesn't work then you have something bigger at play than just a bad habit.

BB, seriously, locking your door for a week equals why bother having kids? Oh, I guess you just wanted to take a stab at me? All you are doing is cutting off contact and forcing them to work it out on their own. I don't know of anyone who wakes up the minute their child does so they can meet them at the door. I guess I was assuming she was human like me.

I tried to leave a pillow on my floor and tell them they could lay on the floor in my room but not wake me up. sometimes that worked.

Could the light from her clock be a distraction when she wakes at 2??

Almost every 4 1/2 year old I know does this...I am not sure why! My son says he "misses me". The sticker chart worked for a while too but he would rather have me. That was more important. OMG, lock your door? Why did you even bother having children? When my son gets me I just go back and spend the rest of the night in his room. I try not to fight nature.

Tell her no more coming in to tell mommy that she is awake. Tell her that she can tell her doll or teddy instead. Put it in the chair in the room, and she can bring it back to her bed with her. If she doesn't listen to you, start putting favorite toys in time out so she will understand that she she loses something by not doing what you ask.

If this doesn't work, I'd turn the doorknob around and lock it from the outside so that she can't come out.

She's old enough to stop waking you up.

Dawn

I would probably just say, 'yes, dear, and I *was* sleeping until you woke me up. Please go back to bed. Sweet dreams.'

I wouldn't walk her back to bed unless there truly was a problem. She can get herself back to bed and read a book or listen to a song while she goes back to sleep.

I'm not one for locking my kids out at night, so here is another idea. Our oldest (just turned five) has had trouble with this for the past six months or so (off and on). I wondered if he just wants/needs more touch since we divide our time between him and his two siblings. He is also starting preschool soon, and I imagine he is excited and apprehensive about that change, possibly needing some more hugs. So we tried to make it his decision by offering a big prize: a date with Mommy or Daddy. For the second date he had to stay in his room all night for 14 nights in a row, which seemed to establish a habit for him for a while. Some nights it is just more important to him to be able to touch us, though.