I have an etiquette question for everyone. I like to have my children register at Walmart or Toys R Us for their birthday or Christmas presents. This helps me to identify what they want and helps them to narrow down their wish list (I only let them register for 10 items each). I think it's a good idea to include a comment about where the children are registered in their birthday invitations. Does anyone think this is poor etiquette?? Of course my children understand that they will be grateful and appreciative of whatever gift they receive whether they asked for it or not! I just like the idea because 1) it cuts down on questions about what the kids want and 2) adults register for their parties...what do you think??
T.
Thanks to everyone who responded. I left the registry information out of the invites but I plan to tell those who ask that there is one available. I have decided I LIKE the idea!! I am always confused about what to buy a child, hoping no one else gets it or the child doesn't already have it. I don't like the idea of moms having to return gifts because the child has 3 of them already. I will continue with the registry for my kids and those who find it rude can skip the party. I can't please everyone!!!
I think that's a brilliant idea. I believe I will start doing that with my 6 year old. But at the same time help hime to understand what he get's is what he get's, it's just nice for other people to get an idea or to even choose what he wants. A+ mom. I love this idea!!!
I have to say that I'm actually surprised by the variation in responses to this question. My daughter is only 18 months old, so I never really thought of having a registry for a birthday (yet) and we haven't done a lot of birthday parties for other kids (yet). My thought is that I wouldn't be offended if I got an invitation that included info about a registry. I wouldn't feel like I was "required" to purchase something from it either. Given the fact that I am sometimes stumped as to what to get people for gifts, I think it's a pretty good idea and probably the wave of the future (maybe the future just hasn't caught up yet since there are so many responses that are violently opposed to this). I think if I was shopping for the gift and nothing on the registry jumped out at me (or if things were too pricey), I would take the liberty to purchase something else.
Bottom line...as long as the kids are thankful for whatever they get (or don't get! just having company to celebrate is enough), then what does it matter if a kid has a wish list???
Good luck!
Personally...I dont think that registering is a bad idea and I CERTAINLY dont think is expresses greed! If you hve a large family and they're all involved with your kids and buying things for them...then a wish list is an excellent idea and possibly necessary. I did a wish list for my son for his 1st birthday party last month! I'll most likely do one for him later in life as well.
As long as you're raising your children to be polite and grateful, then there is no harm in a wish list. Plus, you limit all the calls asking what the children want for this and that!
V.
I don't think that I can agree anymore with some of the other peoples comments. I tried to think of how I would feel if my child got a "registry" for a birthday party. I don't think it is a great idea. Not to be rude...but I find it in very poor taste. I think your children should be "grateful" for what they receive...if they don't like something, they should still give a thank-you...the thought is what mattered. If someone ASKS what they would like, than that is another story. I think the registries should be used for what they are designed for...weddings and births....nothing more. A gift should be a cool, fun suprise...not a predetermined expectation.
I personally dislike registries for anything other than a wedding. (and even then, they irritate me...) Too much focus is placed on "what I want" instead of the gift giver's thoughtfulness. While married couples can do without seventeen toasters, (thus a registry is necessary) a seven year old, (or graduate or expectant mom) may be surprised at the thoughtfulness of a gift. Several times in the past, I have been given the PERFECT present and often, it was one that I didn't know existed or that I wanted and certainly wouldn't have thought to register for. A gift is just that...a gift. It's not an obligation. Handing somebody a "gimme" list is rude, regardless of how much the birthday boy or girl may say "thanks".
I would personally feel uncomfortable signing my child up for a wish list. I like the idea of everyone knowing what they would like to have, but it seems like I would be teaching them a little bit of greed.
Maybe for Christmas they could write Santa a letter and you could give the grandparents/relatives a copy for fun.
This is just my personal opinion, and a wish list may work perfect for your family, especially with twins.
I think this is an awesome idea who's time has come. It is also a good idea to have friends and family look at some Discovery Toys. They are awesome educational toys that kids play with and don't even realize they are learning. They also have a lifetime guarantee. Walmart and Toys R Us don't offer that. If you want the contact information for a Discovery Toys rep, please send me your information privately. She will be glad to help you find toys your kids will LOVE. My grandkids play with their discovery toys over ones bought from the retail establishments. She also has a gift registry to help family and friends pick out toys for the kids.
C.
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Yeah, I defiantly don't think that this is appropriate. I don't think that it should be assumed that everyone who comes to your party bring a gift. Especially once your kids are older (I see yours are 7) there are so many parties that kids are invited to that sometimes I would think that parents can only afford smaller gifts.
If I were to receive an invitation with a "registered at...." among the 25-30 other ones that I received from my child’s class at school, that invite would defiantly be discarded.
FYI- I didn't even put where I registered on my wedding invites, if people asked, I told them. You should want people to come and celebrate your marriage/birthday with you, not just "what did ya get me?"
I don't know what's proper etiquette, but I would never frown on getting an invitation with a registry on it. I'm always afraid that I'm getting someone a duplicate gift, and that would help with that. I probably wouldn't do it though because I'd be afraid of the people that think it's rude...as you can see here.
I think it's a great idea!! My neice(9) and nephew(11) just had birthday's and I was crazy last minute looking for gifts for them. If they had registered it would have saved time and calling their, BUT they still loved what I got them :)
My sister has 2 kids, they are both grown now, but I remember a time when everyone asked what they wanted for Christmas/birthdays and they would say the same thing to everyone. Finally, my sister had them write out a "wish list". Granted, that did mean you had to buy that exact thing, but it gave friends and family an idea of what they were into at the time. The only problem with this written method was, one year, they got the same toys from 2 or 3 people. With a registry, it is easier to keep up with what has already been purchased. I have been invited to several wedding/baby showers, and I just didn't have the money to buy the things they registered for, so I spent a little less and purchased something that would go well with what they registered for. I think the same can be done with children's gifts. I just think it is good so people have some idea what the child would like to receive.
T. I think it's a terrific idea! Sure wish I had thought of it when my sons were young. But then again, I don't know if Wal-Mart had a registery back then...
As far as etiquette, why not? I would venture to say it is only a matter of time until it is a common practice. Like you said it saves answering the question, what does he want for his birthday. It also allows parents the opportunity to provide positive influence on the child's choices and reduces the likely hood of getting an inappropriate gift that has to be returned. I think the time has come!
I would agree with others here that mention it's the thought that counts. Most assuredly, however, we were particular and wanted our children's play to be constructive and positive. So while we taught them to be sincerely grateful for the gifts, we did exchange those that were inappropriate.
And some family members are just out of touch with say what a 16 yr old would enjoy. If we had gift registries for birthdays, my family could have and would have gladly utilized it instead of buying a non useable gift, from a non returnable source, that just sat in my son's room, collected dust and ended up disposed of. My son was very gracious and thankful when he opened it, but came to me after the fact asking "why would she buy me...".
It comes back to what we teach our children. And remember, the registry is a suggestion list or wish list. We all have wish lists. That doesn't mean we are greedy or it's the only things that will be warmly received. Attitude and character determine that.
We were a homeschool family also T.. I stayed home full time with our sons and began adding to the income almost 3 years ago working from home. It would be fun to meet you someday.
Enjoy the journey!
R. : )
a-1biz4moms.com
I think its a great idea because every one always asks what to get my 2 year old daughter for her bday or christmas. her bday is in march so i always tell them clothes because its not that far after christmas and she has so many toys as it is. i dont think people would always buy off the registery for ex. babyshowers i didnt get every thing i needed off of the registery so i dont think people will feel like they "Have to get " what they ask for.
I don't think it is poor etiquette. But I think at 7 years old, your kids and their friends should have a good idea of what each other likes. With my 5.5 year old, I have ask the parent(s) when I RSVP what does the child like. I don't know my daughter's friends (who are mostly classmates)that well, even though I know alot of their parents fairly well. I have lost count as to how many parties we have gone to in just the last 2 months. I will be sure to have my kids make thank you cards, I think that is very important for them-- and the gift-givers.
