Kids Talking About Sex Too Early.

You daughter is in 2nd grade.

Around here, communication started WAY earlier than that about our bodies, periods, etc.

If you want you daughter to know the truth you need to be communicating with her.... no topic off limits. If you can't or don't feel comfortable doing it, then get in a car and drive or go for a walk so you don't have to look eye to eye. Get some quality books for girls, read them and then share them with her. She needs to know she gets her facts from mom because if she doesn't, she will find "facts" from peers which are not always "facts".

I teach school and yes I hear children talking in 1st grade. I was teaching 3rd grade yesterday and during indoor recess I had a group of girls at the art table giggling and all they were talking about were the boys and who they wanted as boyfriends and to kiss. Believe me, your daughter knows more than you think she does. She is probably confused and needs you to confirm facts.

My advice is to be honest... answer her questions in an age appropriate manner and maintain open communication so she knows she can always ask you and get the truth. Yes, it happens frequently and in most schools including private, public and Catholic!

Yes, what you don't teach her other kids will. You've got to stay several steps ahead of the curve. Talk with her honestly about it and explain that it was inappropriate for that child to talk with her in that manner. Unfortunately going to a religion based school doesn't protect them at all from peer influence. I'm sorry. I know that was a bullet to take but just back up and start again.

I still remember quite well a neighbor boy drawing stick figure "sex" pictures and showing them to a group of us when we were in Kindergarten.
This was 1973 or 74, pre internet, pre cable TV and in Iowa, just about as wholesome of a time and place you can imagine.
It kind of freaked me out, and I certainly didn't tell my mom or any other adult about it, but I wish I could have.
So please talk to her about it. Ask her questions, does she know what sex is? what does she think it means? Explain what sex is in the most basic way you possibly can, no need to get into the gritty details. If she doesn't get this information from you, now, she's going to get it somewhere else (and it's probably going to be explained in a gross and inaccurate way.)
Kids have ALWAYS been curious and talked about sex, it's not that shocking. I wouldn't say anything to the teacher or school unless this happens again, or seems to be a pattern. THAT would be troubling to me.

She's almost eight and doesn't know what sex is? You're dropping the ball Mom. You can't keep other kids from saying inappropriate things but you can minimize the negative effects it will have on your daughter.

Sometimes lack of knowledge coupled with a kid's imagination can make things scary that shouldn't be. If she did know what sex was in an age appropriate way she may have felt empowered to tell that boy to zip it.

No matter how you live in your home she is seeing sex in advertising and suggestive material every single day. Have you checked out the billboards lately, magazine covers, any TV at all, store fronts at the mall, I could go on and on. She's seeing it and hearing about it already, talk to her about your values to help drown out the negative messages as well as the gross comments from little boys.

You let the teacher know what happened, and the principal, but you do so without flipping out. That way they can interview the children and let them know what's appropriate and what's not to talk about in school. But more importantly they can to the bottom of what the boy may have been talking about... it could have been as simple as him thinking kissing is sex or sleeping in the same bed. You just don't know.

What does bother me is that your daughter is nearly 8 years old and she still doesn't even know the basics, the biology, of what sex is. If she's upset, that means she's fearful. She's fearful because she has no idea what he's talking about, and that's likely because all she knows about sex is that she's not allowed to know about it and she has probably come up with her own ideas about what sex is.

My daughters were asking me the biology questions about where babies come from as young as 4 years old. In age-appropriate language we told them and it's been an ongoing open discussion ever since. My girls are now 13,11, and nearly 9. That means that when situations/discussions/classes come up at school they're not shocked or upset. They know how to handle these situations because I've prepared them. My eldest has thanked me several times, especially regarding biology classes and health ed classes because everything I've ever told her was supported in her classes and she had an easier handle on the work because of it. She had no embarrassment either.

Just as importantly, when she's come across situations where boys have been inappropriate in discussion, been vulgar, and this year the first time propositioning her, she knew what to do. It upset her but she knew how to handle herself.

I come from a very strong place of feeling that knowledge is power, education is power, and I want my girls to be powerful women. I think you need to have a talk with your daughter.

Kids today are seeing cartoon characters kiss, parents are watching Gray's Anatomy where women are making out in the shower or a couple is rolling off each other and breathing hard. They see TV commercials where women are dressed in bikini's and men barely have their hairline covered and are showing off a 6 pack that could bounce a quarter.

They get bombarded with sexual images and see way more than they should.

Some of these kids, maybe even the one who had the dream, are actually having sex too. It's almost common for kids in the tween years to be fooling around already. A LOT of kids have had some kind of interactions by the time they start puberty. Either making out behind the tree in the backyard, hiding in the tree house and "you show me yours, I'll show you mine". They start touching each other and then it leads further to...well, you know what.

Kids today are in no way innocent of what sex is, maybe the actual bump and grind in out of their perceptions but they know sex is naughty, sex is where baby's come from, and more.

Don't let them fool you! It might be a good idea to teach them slight basics at an earlier age than you would have thought.

For instance, talking to your girls at 7...honey, I want to talk to you about your body for a moment okay? I want to let you know that your body is yours and no one, not a friend, not a parent, not a student, not a teacher, preacher, or coach, no one has the right to touch any part of your body that a tee shirt and capri's don't cover. That means if someone touches you on your tummy you need to tell me, if they touch you on your thigh you need to tell me.

Then help them feel okay and not in imminent danger but aware that they do have the right to say NO to an adult. Kids are taught their whole lives that they need to say Yes sir, No sir, Yes Ma'am and No Ma'am. They have to be "allowed" to say NO to an adult by mom and/or dad so they will have the confidence to do it.

They may still be incapable of it though and that's not their fault. It's a natural thing in most people to defer to authority figures.

Kids need to have knowledge but age appropriate knowledge. And that age is much younger than we realize nowadays.

Well, I'm not sure how many 1st graders know what sex is, but other than that I think TF Plano/Allen nailed it. No matter what school your kids go to, they will talk about things like this long before we are ready for them to.

I would also guess that the boys probably didn't know what they were saying. They were just trying out something they had heard and looking for attention.

Recently my 1st grade son got some water on his sweatshirt at the drinking fountain and when one of his classmates asked him about it (and got the attention of a couple of other kids), my son said, "I spilled some alcohol on it." His teacher flipped out!

Our son said this for the shock value. He was looking to get a laugh. My husband is a recovering alcoholic, so the only conversations in our house about alcohol revolve around cooking or ordering food (absolutely no alcohol or he won't eat it). When we asked our son where he heard that word (and we already knew the answer, but we just wanted to be sure), he said that I had said it the other night when I brought home leftovers from a restaurant and told my husband why he couldn't eat them.

Personally, I would just be really happy she said something to you. When I heard things at school that I didn't understand, I never said anything to my parents because I was too embarrassed. Keep the lines of communication open and answer her questions as simply and honestly as possible.

But I'm not so sure those boys truly understood what they said.

What does the catholic school piece have to do with anything?? Bury your head in the sand but some of the loosest girls I know went to Catholic high schools and would hike up their skirts as the boys drove by. And the boys were ALWAYS driving by. Those girls know how to get what they want when they are 16 and in those uniforms! :)

Anyway, if they are talking about it, you should be talking to her about it.

No, it is not too early to learn about your body. You should have been talking about this all along from about 4 or 5 on up. Just casual talk and as she gets older, you change the books to things like menstruation and pregnancy and such. Don't let her be another statistic that learned the "hard" way without any knowledge and became pregnant.

A few of my best friends went to Catholic school while I went to public school and they were the wildest girls I have ever known.

So second grade is not too early. Be prepared.

When we were overseas there was a boy who was 13 and he had 3 kids already and one on the way. So take that into consideration and arm your daughter. Just make it matter of fact and no more. Be honest. If you don't know the answer tell and then go look it up for another discussion later in the week. If you don't do it, the kids will do it and teach her wrong.

the other S.

PS School yard teaching is not the best way to learn things.

She is old enough to know about sex. If you have not already started talking about it, now would be good. She should know it is not a dirty or taboo subject. If you talk about it openly and encourage her questions, she will hopefully come to you rather than a peer when she needs to know something. I was in second grade when another girl told me. I said - no way is that true. Then went home and asked. I felt pretty stupid.

My boys are 8 and 10, and we talk openly about sex. My boys know what sex is and what it is for. This makes it easier for further conversations and also shows them that this is not a shameful or taboo subject, hopefully increasing the chances that if they do have questions they will feel comfortable coming to us, and not going to their friends or the internet.

From now on... you need to talk to your daughter, about all sorts of things.
Have chats with her, just casually and talk to her about whatever questions or concerns she has.
A kid, NEEDS to know, that they CAN go to their parent (Mom or Dad) and TALK to them, openly without judgement, about whatever is on their mind.
If not, a kid, WILL go to outside people/other adults/other kids etc. and talk and find out things. Whether you like it or not.
So you start at HOME.... and tell her that she can come to you for anything. Good or bad. And have a rapport with her.
Things like this, WILL happen, in any grade and at any age.

Anyway, I work at a school.
One of the 2nd grade boys was telling another boy about sex.
The boy went home and told his Mom.
The Mom told the Teacher.
The Teacher talked to the parents of the offending boy. AND had a talk with the boy. They followed school process etc.
And also because, that boy who was talking about sex... is a regular habitual constantly inappropriate, student. He is only in 2nd grade, and talks and acts like he is 10. Because, his family life, is that way.... his parents are that way. And so he has a skewed sense of what appropriate or inappropriate, is. Per age.

Teach your daughter as well, how to speak up for herself.
How to go to the Teacher if any wrongdoing is done to her etc.
Teacher her, how to cope and chat with you and how to manage situations etc.

Also keep in mind... that nowadays, girls can even get their period at 9, years old. And start to physically develop etc. and may even start to wear bras etc. by 4th or 5th grade.

Have you talked to her about her body yet?
Get the American Girl books, its a great series for girls and is age appropriate and is meant to be read with Mom and discussed with Mom. It is not graphic but age appropriate.

It doesn't matter what kind of school she goes too.
Things like this, happens.

This is completely unacceptable behavior for a Catholic school. I would bring this to the attention of the principal. My kids also attend Catholic school and our principal would take that pretty seriously.

I would tell your daughter that he was talking about something inappropriate, and you are telling the principal so that he'll stop. Ask her to let you know if it happens again. If it does, report it again.

I wouldn't explain sex yet, unless she asks real specific questions. When you're ready, there is a great series of books that I read to my daughter when she was 9. It is called God's Design for Sex. There are 3 books in the series so you can provide all of the info at age appropriate stages.

But by all means, do not let this go. Yes, all school have kids that are wise beyond their years, but when you're paying private school tuition, you are paying for higher standards. This should not be allowed to go on undisciplined.

Go to the Principal about this. I would also call the boys parents. Typically private schools handle this better than public, at least ours would. Sorry these little boys took away something from your innocent little girl.

Hmmm? Yes...kids should know about themselves. When my kid was younger the kids still played w/ dolls and board games in third grade.

I agree w/ you...Your daughter is only 7. I am soooo sorry things have gotten so out of control. My daughter first heard about it when she was a young teen. And it was discussed.

This is what happen whens kids get adult toys called phones w/ internet service, etc... and they can search everything. They do ! Sounds like some boys are growing up to fast.

I am so sorry to hear this.

Things have gotten a tad too liberal for me. I think your daughter should be learning about her body and getting her period over the next few yrs...Not about s**. While, I do agree that she should know that her body is private...but, not about sex at age 7.

your choice is to discuss these matters with your own child, or relegate it to schoolyard informants.
kids who are raised with discussions going on organically as the questions arise aren't titillated when their friends bring this stuff up. but when a 7 year old who has never heard about this stuff before discovers what it is, how can she NOT share that fascinating info with her little friends?
i remember hiding behind the huge rubber tree at my private christian school, eyes wide as saucers, while my friend read aloud to us from a novel she'd kyped from her mom. our latin teacher found us, perused the passage, smiled at us and said 'do you have any questions? well, if you do, i'll be sitting over there. for now, let's put the book away.'
love that woman.
back in the stone ages when i was a girl, having 'the talk' was painful and embarrassing for all, and happened WAY too late. it's not modern or liberal, it's just good parenting to take responsibility for making sure our kids hear important stuff from us, not the playground grapevine.
khairete
S.

The 3 grade boy may not know what sex is either. He may think it is holding hands.