Leaving My Kids Home While Traveling!

If you trust your mom and sister than your children will be fine! It might not be exactly the way you would handle it or as smooth as you being home but that's OK - everyone learns and grows!

I'm sure your children will be fine because you will be leaving them in very good hands, so go, go, go and have a wonderful time! I do totally understand your feelings, but I think you should go and enjoy because the kids will be fine. My sister left her darling daughter, her only child, her baby girl.... with ME when she was only 18 months old! Even I thought she was a little nuts to do so, (LOL) but let me tell you.... my niece had SO much fun at my house! She enjoyed every minute! We did have lots of fun with her and we were very entertaining with her, so how could she not have a great time, right?! When my sister and her husband called to talk to their daughter on the phone, their precious little girl would run the other way each time I came to her with the phone! LOL! I think that in her mind, she thought that if she got on the phone with them, that she would have to leave, and she was not ready to end the fun yet! My niece came for another over night stay with us when she was two and she had a fantastic time again. We loved having her here and we look forward to having her for a week this summer, now as a 3 year old. She has a great time here and she knows her parents will be back to get her. It's all good. So go...... have a great time!
D. N.

I went through this due to a death, I left my 4 boys home with daddy...and then again last year I left all 5 boys home with daddy for 3 days for a wedding...they do fine while your gone...the older one will have more issues, but really both times the problems I faced were when I came back...EXTREMELY clingly and lots of tears for a couple of days/week...they just didn't want me to leave again...don't feel guilty or worry...Daddy can do this, and you said he'll have help...you can always have stickers to put on the calender for the 3 yr old to mark down the days, but really the only 2 times I left my kids overnight, it was the comming back home when the drama started. Have fun!!

Let go, they will be fine. The more you stress about leaving them the more they will pick up on it. Your mother raised you didnt she? If I was your husband and your mother I would be insulted that you dont trust them. You need to relax and enjoy yourself at the wedding and your family will enjoy their time together and appreciate you more when you return.
Please please just leave when its time to go. Dont prolong the goodbyes. This causes kids so much anxiety, it isnt fair to them. Kiss them goodbye and tell them you will see them soon. They are too little to understand time, days hours ,etc. Then leave, no fuss, no tears,no "oohhhh Im going to miss you sooo much.' Keep your feelings to yourself and they will have a ball.

Just go.. and try to have fun. Make sure you call them each day... and if you have picture mailings on the phone.. send them a picture.. buy them a gift. Let them come to drop you off at the airport.. let them see the plane.. and tell them you'll be back in a few days.. and they can come to that airport again. Don't let them know that you are sad or worried it will make it that much harder.. make it seem happy for them and they will be happy. good luck. have fun...

They will all be fine! I travel a lot for work, and it is definitely hard to leave. My daughter is now almost 6 and we've been going through this since she was 4 months old. She has grown through different stages where sometimes it affected her more than others, but really while I was gone she was FINE. Your husband will do things differently than you, but the 3 of them won't be burning down the house or anything, plus he'll have help if he needs it.

Don't tell your kids more than a day ahead. They don't have a good grasp of time yet, and that will be more stressful for them than you leaving.

You could buy them a new matchbox car or coloring book or something small as a treat before you go, but you probably have plenty of activity stuff for them at home already. You describe them as 2 energetic boys, they will not be sitting around listlessly moping awaiting your return. Your husband will be able to figure out activities to do with them, and they may be fun and exciting because they are different than things you would choose to do.

Have a great time. It's very stressful to leave, but try to relax and enjoy yourself.

I am very over protective with mine also. I have 4 kids ranging from 13, then 10, 9 and my little girl is 3.
I left them for the very first time a couple of months ago, when I went to a wedding in LA. It was a little hard. my older kids were fine, since they are bigger, but my daughter hated my being away. at first she would not even come to the phone, but when she came on, she was very sad and kept asking me when I am I coming home. I felt a little guilty for leaving them, but I realized that it is just me, and they were just fine.
Your little one is younger, and less able to understand, but I am sure that they are going to be fine, and the experience is going to be beneficial for both you and them.
you could take every precaution before you leave. get everything ready for them so they will be fine, but I think your husband is probably capable of taking care of them for a few days.
just go and enjoy yourself,and stop worrying. they will all be fine.

Hi L.!
I just arrived home a week ago from being in TX with my husband while our 2 boys stayed behind. It was wonderful! I too, had never left my children for more than a few hours and was somewhat concerned about how they'd do. Honestly though, it was me that was the problem, not them. They were FINE! In fact, they loved spending the week with their grandparents. I called ever day to talk to them but half the time they were too busy having fun they didn't want to stop to talk to mom on the phone.

I'm sure your kids will do great. Keep in mind they are still going to be with familiar people. Daddy is home with them. Your one year old won't know any better and is too young to realize you're away for a few days. Your 3 year old will miss you but not to the point where that takes over his daily routine. If you don't make a big deal out of this trip the kids won't either. Right before we left we told the boys we were leaving and made it an exciting announcement that they'd be playing with Nani and Bumpa the entire week. Their response? "YES!!! YAY!!!! We love Nani and Bumpa!!!"

I did leave a list of places the kids like to go and things they like to do so my mom could take them places if she wanted to.
Examples: Boulevard Mall in Amherst - free play area in food court. Leaps n Bounce in Wiliamsville or Bounce Magic on the Boulevard. Swiss Chalet has a magician on Wed nights at the Depew location. Story time at the library. Local parks and playgrounds they like to play at. Etc...
For my piece of mind I left a single sheet per child of their daily schedule (although since it is your husband at home with them you probably won't need to do this).

Keep in mind hubby will most likely do things a bit differently than you but that is okay! The main thing is that they are safe.

You'll be amazed at how much you will be appreciated when you come home AND how much you will appreciate your family. Momma going away is a good thing every now and again.

So, with all that in mind, have a great trip! Relax and have fun, enjoy the wedding, and know your kids are at home having fun and being loved. It's nice that they get this quality time with their daddy too :-)

~A.
Stay at home mom of 2 boys, ages 4 1/2 and 2 years old.

It will be harder on you than them! They will be with Dad and the grandparents. Leave a "dirty" tshirt of yours so it smells like you that each one can take to bed if needed (I know sounds like a dog thing but works with kids too). Also make sure that Dad has some fun activities sceduled. If weather permits taking them to a park o play and picknic is cheap and fun. If they sit home the whole time that is hard. If you usually take them to church on Sunday or somewhere stick to their schedule.Stick to their schedule for bed, food and other things as well. Also trust your husband and parents to be able to handle it. The kids will be fine even if things aren't done your way. I get caught in thinking if it is not my way then its wrong. NO If its not my way then its still fine. Go and have fun! A.

Hi L.,
There's really not anything that you can do to comfort them, you'll be away and your husband is in charge. This isn't a stranger or someone they don't see often, it's their dad. He will figure it out. Thre's no reason he can't care for them on his own. You can tell him all about how you do things, but when he's in charge, he's going to do things his way and he should be the authority over the kids, not your mother or sister. I wouldn't worry about doing anything special, just have dad try to keep their usual routine. I think that YOU will have a harder time with this than they will, and you need to find things to help you cope and to pass the time and comfort yourself. Please remember that if you are anxious about this, your children will pick up on your anxiety.
Dads are more than capable of taking care of the kids, my husband would take mine out for the day from the time they were infants and I would be away for overnights or weekends from time to time, and business trips for up to a week when I had a 2 year old. He was accustomed to caring for them and I can assure you, they were not traumatized in the least :)

You've already received great advice from experienced moms. I agree with them that this will be harder on you than on them. They will be too busy enjoying themselves with other family members; you won't need to comfort them. Keep in mind that their sense of time is not the same as yours. However, if you are so nervous about leaving, you will transmit those anxieties to your boys. One thing you can do to help yourself is to have your husband -- and your mom and sister if they are nearby -- take the boys for a few hours several times between now and then, even if all you do is clean the house or go grocery shopping or read a book at home without them. You need to trust that someone else can be there for them. Then the day of departure, leave with a smile on your face and look calm but excited about your adventure. The boys will be happy for you. You can leave them a picture of yourself on the fridge and ask each of them to give you something small to take with you, or show them that you have pictures of them to show to everyone you're going to see. You'll be fine -- just remember to breathe.

Being away from your kids is harder on you than it is on them. Even if they cry as you're leaving, they'll be fine ten minutes later while you're still wiping away tears and second-guessing yourself an hour later. Stay positive and upbeat as you say goodbye; hard as it is, don't cry or show any negative emotion. Kids are finely attuned to their parents' emotions and will react to them. If they sense your distress they'll believe there's something to be distressed about and will react accordingly. At their age your children have very short-term memories and will happily go about their day until they suddenly remember your absence. At that time your husband and other caregivers can easily distract them. Enjoy your time away; time to yourself is so rare for a mom.

Do not feel guilty and do not feel nervous. It is natural to feel the way that you do but the time away will be good for you (what mom does not need and deserve some R&R away from the kids) and good for them to have that bonding time with their father. Additionally, you never know what other circumstances may arise reuiring you to spend some time away from your children. You have to get used to it at some point. Go on your trip, enjoy yourself and know that your kids are in he hands of the only other person in the world who loves them as much as you do!

I most definitely understand. I recently left my daughter with my husband and MIL. My husband wanted me to have a nice vacation with my friends and sent us to Punta Cana, DR...great idea when he surprised me with the tickets....bad idea as it got closer and I was nervous about leaving my daughter. What I did was set up a web cam and microphone on our pc and my laptop so that she could still see me and talk to me. I told her I was going away for a few days but she will see me everyday and it worked. She was fine. Have faith in your husband and family too. If your husband is anything like mine (lazy when you're around, leaving u to do most of the caregiving), he'll pick up the slack and do a GREAT job in your absence. Try not to make a big deal about leaving. That will only upset them and even when you call to check in, make very light about the fact that you'll be back soon. (No long, drawn out "i miss you") Try to have a great time. I just knew I was going to have a horrible time without my daughter and wound up having a ggggreat time! We all deserve a break so enjoy it and leave the work to dad and your family for a while. Have a great time!

**K.**

It will be harder on you than them. They dont have sense of time like we do. You have a lot of help at home and they will be fine! Of course you will miss them but enjoy your time at the wedding and just call them a couple times a day to say hi! Ive never left my son overnight with the exception of an overnight hospital stay and we all survived!

Hi L., I was just like you. Never wanted to leave my children. I'm sure the dad, Your mom and sister are very capable. Try to have a good time and this will show you that all will be well. Yes they will miss you, assure them you will be back. If you can, leave a new toy for them to open after you leave and play with while you are gone. good wishes, Grandma Mary

Sepreation anxiety is what's going on here...on your part.

Cut the cord and enjoy probably the only time you will get a chance to get away by yourself. I'm lucky if I can go to the store by myself.

I went to TX in March and wished I would've gone alone after the fact. I used my whole income tax return to make sure everyone could go. They had fun...I was stresed out and left broke still needing a new washer and dryer.

I don't mean to sound mean, but you have to do things on your own too. The kids will be fine, get rid of the guilt, and have fun.

Nanc

Everyone will be just fine. Sounds like you have enough people helping. In my last job, I had to travel. The first time I was a nervous wreck, but things worked out fine. Just make sure whoever is with them, they follow the kids normal routine, and they have activities to keep them busy. Enjoy yourself while you're there, the alone time is also very special. Of course you'll miss each other, but will give your husband a new found appreciation for you as well. Don't be sad or nervous in front of them. Have fun!!!

I work full time and have a 14 month old and a 28 month old. Last year I had to travel out of town (overnight) 30 days!! We don't have help so I hired a babysitter to help my husband for the first 2 trips, and he did it on his own after that when the baby was older. Kids don't really have a sense of time like adults, so I would worry more about what YOU are going to do to pass the time! They will have a blast. They will miss you of course - I always call first thing in the morning and then before bedtime to tell them I love them and I miss them.

One thing I do for my husband is I make a menu for each day including what he should make for each meal. I also leave with a clean house and all the laundry done and put away so he doesn't have to think about it. I make sure he has easy meals for himself too. I know this seems controlling of me and maybe it is a little, but our son has celiac and neither of our kids can have dairy, so the extra planning takes the guesswork and stress out of mealtime for my husband.

Bring back presents for the kids! Ask your 3 year old to pack you something of his to take along (my 2 year old packed his favorite book for me on my most recent trip). Make sure your husband keeps their schedule as close to normal as possible - this will comfort them. And most of all, try to have fun!! You deserve a break!!

Just let it go Mama!! Go have FUN!!!
I went away last year for the FIRST TIME in 5 years from my kids and it was about 4 days as well. I remember I really wanted to go and then when it worked out I started freaking out about leaving the kids. I was crying and everything. HA. But I gotta tell ya, once I walked out that door, met my friends and we were on our way, I had such a wonderful time. My husband had reassured me that he was fine and they would be fine. I did check in but not excessively. :) I remember thinking, all I want to do is sleep, but once I was away and I was with my best friend there, all we did was talk and laugh and never slept. Fun fun fun. Someone else will be cooking and cleaning. Now I'm daydreaming of a trip away.

Hope you have a great time. It'll go by so fast.

Hi L.!
I saw this on "Super Nanny:" If you have to leave your kids, whether it's the first day of school or a short trip, 1. Tell them mommy has to go somewhere for a few days, but she'll BE BACK VERY SOON. Don't make a big deal about it by cryiing. They'll pick up on any guilty or sad cues from you; and 2. Leave something of yours with each child. It can be one of mommy's earrings, a scarf, or something appropriate for their age. When they start to miss you or think of you, they can then hold, smell, pet the object, etc. and remember that you'll be back.
Hope this helps. Good luck!

Hi L.,

My name is Joanne and I am a mother of two and a grandmother of one. Your leaving your boys will cause more anxiety for you for them. Some things you can leave small notes cards for the boys - perhaps put them in a special book you like to read to them and have the person reading to them read the notes to your boys. You could also leave messages on your computer with your picture. I'm sure you have a cell phone, and you could send videos to especially before they go to sleep at night. You could also record yourself reading them a story. If there's a special place they like to go, for instance a park, a play zone, have your husband take them there. Maybe your Mom and sister could accompany them. But most of all, go to the wedding and have fun. They all will be fine. The first time is always the hardest. Believe me, I speak from experience.
As Moms we all feel that no one could do the job that we do.
Go and enjoy yourself. We Moms need a break once in a while.