Long Commutes for Bigger/Nicer Home?

Yeah I'd much rather live in a house than apartment. You could always try it out for 6-12 months and make a final decision once you've experienced both ways.

We just made the opposite choice. When we bought our old house we were splitting the distance between commutes with my husband working an hour north and me working an hour south. Since then, both of our jobs have moved and they were BOTH an hour east of our house. We had a great house, nice yard and lots of parks within walking distance. BUT, our children are in school downtown, near where we work so that we can get to them quickly in emergencies and don't have to worry about being able to pick up by 6pm. Instead, our children spend an hour or an hour 15 minutes each way with us in the car. It was really taking a toll. My poor babies had to get up at 5:45am every morning so that my first grader could be to school by 8am. It was all I could do to have him in bed by 8 or 8:30pm. So, we sold the house, and are moving to a MUCH smaller house that will be 4 blocks from the elementary school and about a 10 minute commute for both my husband and me. I figure I will get at least 5 hours of sleep more per week, have time to exercise and there will be a lot less screaming in the morning! Cost wise - about the same but there will be major savings on gas!!! Have you computed for gas? The price will go back up again - someday.

C.

I commuted an hour each way each day for three years. It sucked and I will NEVER do it again. We owned our home (big and on a nice piece of land) and I took a job making better money an hour from our home. When we moved to FL, we purchased a home that was intentionally close to the school my children will attend and my new office. Our quality of life is much improved... we are home sooner and can enjoy the parks in our neighborhood. We could have purchased a much larger home if we lived further away, but if that means getting home an hour later every day and leaving an hour (at least) earlier...not worth it.

Commuting gets old, really fast. Stick with a smaller place with good parks nearby.

So many people make that commute. Millions of them. I live in the DC region and know people that commute 3 hours each way, daily. My husband commutes 2 hours one way daily.

I can tell you THAT takes a toll on all of us. Not only on him being in the car, but on me doing the single parent thing during the week getting the kids where they need to be, me being the only one around to get the kids if they are sick or have an award ceremony, me being the only one to take care of house issues if we need someone to come fix something, etc. He and I both wish he worked closer.

I don't think the commute you are talking about is horrible. But, it's not something I would do.

That's how I grew up - on a farm about 20 minutes away from school. I caught such hell if I missed the bus! And I've come to realize as an adult, as my facebook friends reminisce about spending time together after school and during summers, how really isolated I was. I would never trade my childhood for theirs - the farm was beautiful and impacted my values today - but still... We had the choice of a beautiful big house 30 minutes away from my husband's work and a smaller home in the historic district ten minutes from work (and three blocks from school). This was before we had kids. I am so glad we chose the one close to school -- my kids are far more connected to their friends and community than I ever was and in an emergency I can be there in just minutes. I miss the woods and fields, but I also don't have to care for them and can visit them with a quick drive to the state parks.

ETA: by the way, your weekends may not be spent enjoying the yard as much as taking care of it, especially if you land in a neighborhood that has a strict homeowners' association that expects a certain level of landscaping. If you love to garden, more power to you. I don't.

Nope... wouldn't be worth it to me, because that's 2 hours out of your day, which means you wouldn't have nearly enough time to spend in that larger house. I'd rather live in a rental apartment (as long as it was adequately sized, clean and safe) and have more time to spend with my family then a larger house, a longer drive, and less time.

My dad did, back in the dinosaur days. He didn't do it so much for the house as for the school district - but the house was nice, too, and he had fun doing things in the two-acre lot that came with it.

But it meant a 45-minute drive to his office every morning and evening. He never complained.

You have to figure out your priorities. What does "a nicer home" mean to you? Does it have more importance in your scheme of things than proximity to the school? Do you LIKE driving? Does your child like riding in the car? Only you can answer such questions.

We moved further out of town for a bigger house. We both regretted that decision. I would NOT recommend it.
The commute got real old, real fast. Especially, with gas prices. We bought the house, so we were stuck.
Just my opinion =)

in answer to your question - LOTS of people do this. zillions. and i have no idea why or how they could do that.

my family time is too precious. i have always lived 5-10 minutes (or less) from work - and i wouldn't have it any other way. i have a lot of people that work for me that drive 30-60 minutes to work and it's a HUGE pain in the butt. one little traffic accident (ok more like one big one) and i am getting phone calls. the first time it snows the least little bit, i get more (although i doubt you will have to worry about that lol).

i am hugely anti-commute. the only reason i would, is because my family owns property outside of town and we will get some of it some day and build. THAT would be worth it. but a bigger nicer rental? no way. we are in a duplex now which is a nice in-between. we have a yard and it's not an apartment. but still close to work. might look into that? good luck...

We live out.
My husband drives 45 min each way to work, but I'm home. We chose this location for many reasons, but we knew that we'd spend a lot in gas and his time. That said, our kids grew up in the country - which is what we wanted for them.
You have to decide if it is worth the time and the money - what you save in rent, you'll spend in gas and cars.
LBC

yards are nice, but is having one you can play in for a day or two a week worth all that extra time in the car?

To me your proposed commute doesn’t sound too bad. Then again I am a Houstonian and we are a driving town. Both my husband and I have at least one hour commutes one way (two hours each day). More if there are traffic accidents or road construction. We are in a position where we can't both live and work close together. One guy can have a short commute but then the other guy gets doubly screwed to make up for it. For us because we don't have much choice we take the long commutes in stride. We can either chose to whine about it or we can chose to see the positives. We thought out our commutes too and chose to put our boys in a daycare which is located such that they don’t spend a ton of time in the car. My husband drops them off at the start of his drive and I pick them up at the end of my drive. Since you have a choice, think about the realities of the daily commute first.
- What time will you have to get up and get out the door by? Is that reasonable for the whole family?
- Who is doing drop offs and pick ups for your daughter? Before school or after school care needs? Holiday care? Summer vacation care?
- Who will pick her up in an emergency or illness?
- How will her doctor appointments work out for either of you? Would it be a situation where only one person could reasonably do appointments? We selected a pediatrician close to our boys' daycare. Thus, even though it is a long drive to our kids for either of us from our work, it is a short drive to get them to the doctor.
- In bad weather how hard will it be to get to your daughter? For your family to regroup at a safe location? In bad rain storms Houston floods quickly. We have to mindful of that so we don't get stranded.
- If your daughter has after school activities, how will those work? Will one person be unable to attend for the most part? Will getting her to those activities be a logistical nightmare? How will it impact feeding your family on those nights? Bedtime? Homework?
Next think about the financial aspects of a longer commute. In my experience the money is only a small part of the equation, though. Most people I know have one hour commutes one way. It is a part of this town from my experience. People choose these commutes because of the lifestyle it affords their families. They suck up the drives because they want the nicer houses in the nicer neighborhoods with the nicer schools with all of the amenities for their children (sports, activities, parks, etc.). Here I can undoubtedly get a larger, newer, nicer house in the burbs for less than I could in the city. You are a renter but expenses to consider:
- Yard maintenance: would you hire a service or do it yourselves? Do you have the equipment to do it yourselves? If not, you’ll need to buy it. Yard work takes time even if you have a small yard with little to maintain.
- Gas and vehicle maintenance (tires, oil changes, etc.).
- Expenses associated with a larger home (heating, cooling, water, decorating, etc.).

I personally say give it a go for one year if you truly want to know. You are a renter so it is a great way to figure out whether or not you are a commuting family. My sister in law and her husband commute nearly two hours one way each day. With their two kids in the car. It wouldn't work for everyone but it works for them. They go to the library on the weekends and rent DVDs for their kids. While their kids watch movies, she and her husband listen to talk radio and connect as a couple. Even she admits it is a bit kooky but she does say it works well for them. The only hitch she says is dinner which is often cereal. With a wry smile she says it keeps their grocery bill low and dishes are never a huge chore. There is a silver lining if you bother to look. :) Good luck.

Try it for a week. Instead of going and getting your kiddo, drive around for the extra amount of time, pick up your kid and then drive around for 30 minutes before heading home. It won't take you too long to figure out what you value more...driving more for the larger house or spending time at home.

No! You already get home late so it's a super long day for a young child. Don't add to that. And as a single parent with no backup family, I wouldn't want to be that much further away from school. Wait till you see all the days you need to attend school functions. I have a flexible job, full time nanny and husband (though he's not much help during the week) and being 10 min from home and school is something I value tremendously. At least wait until she's started K and see what the school expects.

I think one thing you need to consider with a home is the YARD work. Very few residential rentals around me include yard work.

Mowing, trimming bushes, and weed wacking all bite into the time you actually have to enjoy your home/yard.

Just a thought!

How old is your daughter? Perhaps it would be best to transfer her to the neighborhood school once you move. The year is nearly over and she could start in the new school this fall.

I see she's entering Kindergarten. I would definitely move out further. I'd consider the school district when deciding which home to rent. She will benefit more from being in school in her neighborhood than in staying at the same school downtown. And so would you.

How late would you get home from a new home? Could you find a place reasonably close to your work or would that still be downtown and you'd get home later than 7? Could a move make it easier to get child care?

I wouldn't, ever. My husband went from a 1 hour one way commute, to a 5 minute commute. We live in a smaller house in a less nice neighborhood. He said he would never in a million years go back to a commute. I don't blame him. Who wants to spend more of their life in a stinking car, just to have more? Not me, maybe some do. We often forget, that we don't actually NEED more.

Have you considered BUYING a home? Find out what you qualify for and then start looking at homes in your price range.

If you would have to take your daughter to school instead of her riding the bus? Wait until summer to make the move and have her change schools in the summer. Why would you want to drive one hour to get your daughter to school and you to work? That doesn't make sense, at least not to me.

Larger homes means:
* More cleaning
* more rooms to fill with "STUFF"

Yes, it also means more space. However, at what cost?

Gas is not cheap. You can afford the gas for this? It's like you aren't thinking of everything involved in this. Can your daughter still go to the school she's in if you move?

If you are working full time and she's in school - how much time are you actually going to have in this "bigger house - and yard"?

I know a person whose husband commutes something like 2 hours ONE WAY a day to his job. My husband commuted 2 hours ONE WAY as well. It SUCKS. It really sucks the life out of you. Write a list of pros and cons and put all the factors in this:

* cost of the house
* gas
* wear and tear on car
* inclement weather
* how will you get to your daughter if there is an emergency?

In the end - the only one who can make this decision is you. We don't know your financial situation, etc.

I know I would NOT want to commute that much for a bigger house. Not fun.

Good luck!

Not worth it - rather spend my life in a smaller home than in my car.

Are you anticipating keeping your child at her current school after you move, in the fall and from then on? It's not clear from the post if you mean you'd have the commute to school just for the next few months before school ends or for the rest of her time at that elementary school.

Have you checked whether she would even be allowed to stay at her current school once you move? It sounds like the move would be far enough that you would have moved outside your current school district. If this is a public school, you would be told that your child could no longer attend there and would have to attend at whatever her local school is in the area where you moved. (She would surely be allowed to finish out the year at her current school if you move right now, but I'm saying that in the fall, in public schools, you'd be told that she was required to attend her assigned local school -- not the one she's been attending -- if you move out of your current school's "catchment area.") So just be aware of that fact and do your homework, so that if you are expecting her to stay at school 20 minutes from the new home, you and she do not get a harsh surprise when you're told she can't enroll at her old school this fall.

Have you tested out these commutes from your desired area to work and school yet? Have you made these drives at the height of rush hour? Be sure you do that -- several times, in both morning and evening rush hours. Getting to work in 30 minutes could turn into an hour if you leave at certain times. I live in an area where a LOT of people make long commutes and I know that a delay of even 10 minutes in leaving the house or the office can turn a 20-minute drive into a 30- or 40-minute drive, and one accident can really mean hours on the road. Do some big-time driving research in person , at all hours, before you assume a 30-minute commute to work. Find out if that 30-minute route contains a heap of stoplights that back up, or a lot of huge trucks on the road daily, etc.

When you total the times you give in the post, that is one hour and 40 minutes in the car each day -- not unusual in our area, but if you are not used to it, you'll find it can take some getting used to. And like I said, go out and drive it at the heaviest-traffic hours and see if it's really only that long or more.

I'm not giving an opinion for or against, just noting that commutes are not always what they seem to be, and that you need to clarify about the school situation. If your child has to go to a school closer to your new home, you will also have this issue: What happens if school gets out at, for instance, 3:15 p.m. and you cannot leave work until 3:30-- and you have a 30-minute commute that might be even longer? You will have to factor in the costs of after-school care or other arrangements. If you work even later, your commute could take longer -- so, more care, more arrangements. A lot depends on your child's age as well. If she's young she'll get used to it, but if she's older elementary she will be moving away from her school (possibly) and friends so she should have some say.....

I have had long commutes and short commutes (10 minutes). I looked for a nice home with a short commute. I looked for traffic patterns and found a home where I was driving in where most were driving out.

Good luck to you and yours.

You want it? Go get it! If it took you this long to earn it and you agreed with yourself about this house. I say "hell yeah" to the house. I did it and I don't regret it. I have a real place to call my safe haven. For my house, time was never my best friend, but waiting paid off.

heh.
we moved 2 hours from my husband's job, and when we moved here it was between 45 minutes and an hour and a half for mine.
to get what we wanted, this is how far out we had to go. it wasn't a big house for me, it was land.
most days the trade-off is worthwhile. but weeks like this one, where my husband has to drive 4 hours one way (and will probably end up staying away from home for at least one night to save himself that awful drive home), it's a stretch.
your commute sounds very do-able.
:) khairete
S.

I wouldn't..cause that is a lot of time to spend on the road.. and less time to spend at your new nicer house.. sounds like 50 minutes morning and 50 mintes afternoon... so almost 2 hours per day in traffic.. and not much time at home.. I would look closer to work or home for a house.

My work drive is 45 mins.(no traffice) My husbands is 30, in the opposite direction. So my sons school is 5-8 mins from the house. Your proposed commute does not sound terrible. Having a yard, I envy you. We are in a condo that I bought 10 years ago, and was only going to stay her for 5 years max.. Ha ha ha.. we are a family of 4 living in a 2 bed room condo... at some point we will buy a home, and have a yard..but for now.

Good luck

I have an 1 1/2 commute each way, so this wouldn't phase me, but I DO wish my commute was less. Hubby went from a 1 hour each way commute to 15 mins each way and LOVES it.

I would just make sure that whatever community you are looking in is still in her schools territory. Then find the best house possible, without breaking the bank, in that territory.

I've done both a 1.5 hour commute and a 45 minute commute. It's do-able, but long commutes get, well, long. I would look at the ultimate end-time of arrival, though it overall sounds do-able. I don't know how old your DD is, but other factors are her age (more homework as she gets older) and if the move would take her out of the range for the schools where you/she are happiest or where she already has friends or impact her ability to do after school things.