Looking for Advice from Other Mom's with ADD Who Have Children with ADD

I am not ADD but I definitely have days when I am disorganized and have trouble focusing...and days when I yell or feel like yelling. If your son can understand enough to say you can yell but I will still do what I want...then he can understand he has a choice about how he behaves (even if some things are a little harder for him because of the ADD). The trick is to give him positive reinforcement for good behavior and negative consequences for poor behavior. Try and pick one or two behaviors to change at a time and think of consequences ahead of time.

Also, if he has trouble sitting still for academic work maybe you can think of ways to alternate the work with active breaks like jumping on a mini trampoline. Or maybe you can help him match some of what he is learning with a motion or action(like making the shape of a letter with his arm or hand--I think Waldorf schools have a whole system for this)

Hi J.
Hope you have a calm day today.
My son many years ago was hyperactive, which catagory they would put him in today I am not sure. I always knew that if I didn't stop him, he would grow up to be a fine adult. Getting him there was another story. Let me just start with the end of the story. He is a lawyer today, with a wife and son of his own. He is an attentive father. He never misses calling home and they love hearing from us.
Some of what I did.
Sent him to private school.
We worked with some brain integration therapy, which is not recognized yet in the US. Doing everything I could to build synapses across the center of his body. Write me if you are interested. Some things are simple to incorporate into your life.
We kept a food diary. Found out he did have some allergies, and or intolerances. Foods at least that sent him over an edge of my tolerance.
Never did I put him on meds. He was so bright. My plus was he loved learning. Read at age 4 at about a 5 grade level according to his PreK teacher. Yes, he read the newspaper, so we screened out the ugly news.
He also never slept. So 2 hours in 24 was the norm especially from by then.
God bless you in your search for help.
Don't be afraid to try anything because you are not raising him for today but for the adult son you want him to become, & that is as normal as is possible.
Write I love to tell the story
Old enough to be your mom talk to her too she may have insight.
K. SAHM married 38 years -- adult children 37 coach, 32 lawyer with family of his own Praise God, and twin girls who are 18 years old and in college after 10 years of homeschooling. One for art, and one in journalism program.

how are you certain that your 5 year old had ADD? So many children are misdiagnosed. Doctors love to throw that label on kids and drug them up. This could be more of learning "disability". Some kids get easily stressed when they don't understand something so they do something "bad" to divert the problem. Please get a second opinion on this diagnosis. Best of luck.

My daughter at 3yo looked at me and said "I won't learn that from you, someone else will teach me!" (She is ADHD). I was trying to sing the ABC song with her. She would NOT do any thing that looked like learning with me. She still fights me at times over doing homework. She is now in 2nd grade and doesn't want my help. Her incentive to get my help is simple. If I don't check her homework, help her fix the mistakes and she doesn't do her reading there is NO PLAY TIME until she does. She loves the outdoors and she will do her homework quickly (most of the time) and let me check. On rain days the consequenses are NO TV, dessert or something she will like. ADHD or ADD is hard to work with. There are ways "around" problems and if you give clear Do this, then that or Don't do this then this happens and stick to it and be consistent it works. sometimes it doesn't matter and nothing will work. It all depends on the day in my house but show me a kid and I will show you someone who can be stuborn, obstanant and a down right pain in the butt!!! ;) When I loose my cool (I'm notorious for it so your not alone) the yelling only makes things worse and gives ME a head ache. When I keep calm (or at least show only the calm) more is accomplished and the whole house doesn't get a head ache! A.

Hi Jamie,

There's a good book called Raising Your Spirited Child. I found it immensely helpful for the behavioral aspects. Later on I found out that the real reason for ADD/ADHD is caused by nutritional deficiency, toxins and/or allergies. It should be reversible in all cases but it takes some detective work and experimentation since no two children will be exactly the same. I'd be more than happy to talk to you on the phone about it. It's really important that we get this information out there since so many children are being needlessly drugged and those drugs have side effects. Please take ten minutes and watch the video on my website:
www.sharethecause.com/detoxqueen

Hi. I want to start off by saying how sorry I am for what you're going through. I hope you have gone for a second opinion. My son started off with the daytrana patch. Here are a few things to realize. 1) No child is the same. 2)This will determine whether or not this dosage will be sufficient for your child. I also go to his neurologist once a month and
get them to a neurologist for testing and possible medication and get them to a therapist for behavior modification. If you need more information, let me know. I might be able to help you with some questions, but this is what I do for my son right now who is 7 and has adhd and was diagnosed at 4 years old. Best of luck to you and your family.

The only limitations of learning that he has are imposed by those around him. ADHD children are notoriously bright. However, rudeness from any child is not to be tolerated regardless of their "issues". Children with ADHD typically like things to be organized as they usually have a difficult time organizing their thoughts. What we have done with our son (6 and takes Strattera) is we make lists. For example: Before you can play on the computer for 30 minutes you need to: hang up your coat, do your homework, have a snack (he can chose the order)THEN after 30 minutes you need to read for 10 minutes and set the table for dinner. We have the same sort of thing for morning routines as well. I have 3 "tickets" (I use cardboard drink coasters) and if he is defiant, too loud, doesn't do what is expected, etc. he will lose a ticket. Once three tickets are gone in a day, he has to write a think sheet stating what he did that was not acceptable in our family and why he did it. This is very difficult for any child to do, but extremely affective.

I hope you have been discussing your options with your pediatrician as well as have a psychiatrist that you can turn to if needed. Also, has the school done a PPT and IEP for your son. Very important that he have appropriate "outlets" (sensory breaks, ot, etc.) at school so he can continue to grow both educationally there as well as socially.

Good luck.

My son is 6 and was just recently diagnosed with ADHD. I also know how it feels. I find it hard right now to cope with the fact that he has a learning disability, I am trying to keep him active at the moment and he is currently on vyvanse medication recommended his pediatric neurologist. It has been helping him tremendously he has been doing better in school and i am so glad. I am in the same boat and it is difficult at times just remember they have no control over what is happening in there mind. At first i was against medication but i saw it was affecting his school work and his relationships with his peers as well as with his authority figures. I had a difficult decision to make and it is working out for the best.What helps him also is too get him on the computer and play learning games even flash cards to make it fun. They have alot of free online learning games on the web, Thats one thing he enjoys. I am pretty sure your son will also.

Wow, I kinda feel like I have this type of thing with my son's too. I don't know what else though to offer you, because I feel like I'm in your shoes too.

I also agree with your "about me" section...being a mother is one of the most wonderful things. =)