Looking for Other 40'Ish Moms with Toddlers and Teenagers

Hi L.,

I have 4 boys, 18,17,6,and 3. The oldest 2 are my stepsons but live w/us fulltime. My six year old has asperger's so I totally understand having a special needs child. I would not change the age range of my kids for anything, I love having both in the house!

I'm 44 with a 23 year old son, a 14 year old daughter and a 3 year old son. I live in Kingwood, TX but I'm from Austin, TX. I like my situation. I feel like I can identify with the empty nest moms, moms of frustrating teens, and moms active 2 and 3 year olds. My life is very fulfilling and constantly busy!

Hi,
I'm new to this, just signed up as I had a 'flower' sent to me. This is a neat site and even neater to find your note. I'm 39, have a 17yo and a 15 month old. My husband has been the only father my 17yo has know since he was 7yo. We tried several times and finally hit gold with our new son Calvin. Everyone asks if we are going to have another but being new SAHM for the past 15 months (hardest job I've ever held) I think I'll pass LOL
Would love to chat more but my toddler just got up. Will drop in again later. Wishing you all the best on trying again. Hugs, B.

God bless you! I have kids of various ages, too - the oldest will be 21 next month, then 15, 13, 9, and 6. My friends are segmented too - that's just the way it works. I'd like to meet you, though. I live in the northwest near Eldridge and Clay - are you anywhere close?

Hi,
I couldn't help smile when i read your request. So familiar in so many ways. A little bit of the opposite. I have an almost 16 year old son who isn't biologically my husband's but he is also adopted my my husband. We then had several miscarriages and infertility problems trying to have a baby. We finally got Jack who is now almost 6 years old. Jack was the most wonderful baby and filled my life with such happiness. Then at around age 2 or so, we were concerned on how 'different' he was and his language. Well my son has an ASD, trying to get it evaluated and diagnosed properly at this time, which is another story in itself. So i COMPLETELY (wow, really) understand the feeling like you don't fit into the typical group. My son is in the regular kindergarten class, but i'm also new to TX from Calif, so i don't have any friends! Haha. I feel like i don't fit into the whole Elementary School moms, being that i have one teenager, and one special needs kindergartner, nothing in between. When the moms in school are talking about their elementary school age kids, etc.. i just don't have much to add. But it's all good, everyone has been great and super sweet. But my life is busy in a different way, taking Jack to speech, etc. and keeping up with my High Schooler (which is impossible! haha).
I do want to say congratulations on your daughter, and that possibility of having another child. I wanted to after Jack, but had another miscarriage and felt that was my answer, nope.. wasn't meant to have another. Jack was the one meant to be. Another thing, my sister son has Down Syndrome... he is only 4 and has so many other disabilities that his Down's Syndrome is the LEAST of his problems.. which is a whole other subject also. Anyway, we sort of have a lot in common... and i'd love if you wanted to contact me, i'm up for meeting new people. I left ALL my family and friends in Calif! :( But we really love it here.
Glad to of met you on here :)
I.

Hi L., awesome....you have teens and a little one too! I was feeling a little left out in this big ol world.
I am 46 and had my last son at 45, the oldest is 20 and just went off to Cape May N.J., to boot camp in the U.S. Coast Guard, and my middle son is 15, so we are out here girlfriend, Maw-mommies. I have been worried that Grayson will be made fun of when he starts school, I can see or hear it now, him saying " NOOOO, they are not my grandparents, thats my mom and dad". We laugh and tease that we made our own grandkids, who needs to wait on someone else to give them to you!
Its been very crazy here getting use to a baby again, but what a blessing, and I too am remarried, and he had no children either before Grayson. He is the ray of sunshine our family has so much enjoyed. Write back, lets get more aquainted, and hopefully we both can learn tricks of the trade all over again.
K. ><> :)

I also have a big spread in ages. I will be 40 very soon, have a 21 almost 22yr old son, a 13yr old daughter, and a son that just turned 2 this past week. It is difccult. My daughters friends only have teenagers, and the kids at moms day out only have little ones. I to was single for 17 years before I married my husband and our son was his first though he has been very good to my daughter, her father just came back into her life after 12 years of not beeing there. He is a wonderful man and I am a stay at home mom. Good luck on #3, I too would like for two close toghther, though for medical reasons thats really is not possible. Everyone say, oh built in baby sitter, NOT teenagers they have their own mind just as 2 year olds. Anyway good luck.

I am 36 with 4 kids, ages 13, 7, 3, and 2 married for 14 years and live south of Houston at the moment. We may relocate to our hometown in NE Texas this summer. I am still undecided about #5 but I don't have that "done" feeling so many women speak of, so I figure I have until my IUD is ready to come out (3 more years) to decide and then it will be hubby's turn for a little snip snip :)

I have often thought of starting a Yahoo group for older moms with younger kids, it is so hard to fit in for me with the new moms. I appreciate them as I was one once, but ya know how it is...with the first once you don't let them get dirty you hover over them and by #4 if you can lock the door and hide long enough to pee you just cross your fingers when you come out no one is bleeding LOL!

Good luck on #3!

Hi L.
my name is D.,i'm 39 yrs old,and a single mom of a 13yr old and 2 1/2 yr old girls,it is a challange having kids that far apart from eachother,but that baby of mine is great,i love her with everything i got,both of my girls do not have any special needs. I just felt loke i should respond to your message

thanks
D.

Hello L.

I'm turning 40 this September 1st, and I also have teens and toddlers, and a special-needs daughter.

My oldest is 17.5, next is 15, then 11, and 8.5, special needs 6.5, youngest is 2 years old.

I'm also a SAHM . . . so I'd love to hear more about what you're doing with your special child. Are you connected to support groups? Are you involved in any special activities for him like Special Olympics? Are you in the F2F network?

Are you going to the KISD conference next Saturday?

I need to make more friends with similar circumstances :)

what do you like to do when you're not changing diapers, doing laundry, cooking, and doing dishes?

K.
____@____.com

I don't exactly fit the bill, but I am in that 40+ range with 10 year old twins and a rambunctious 3 year old. My daughter, one of the twins, looks, thinks and acts like a 13 year old, so I think that I can relate to a certain degree. You know that routine: arguementative, rolls the eyes, and thinks that mom and dad don't have a clue.
Also, I work with special needs children in the area schools, so I have some experience with the challenges that you are faced with your oldest.
I congratulate you on trying for #3, as I would sometimes like to have another little bundle of joy. But, since I am too old for this stuff and I do eventually come to my senses, I will sit back and enjoy the blessings that I have.
I would love to hear from you and swap stories and advice. A. E

Hello,
I am 46 and the mother of 3 girls, 15, 11, and 7. One of my great challenges is dealing with the attitudes older siblings can have toward younger siblings when the age difference is so great. Both pre-teens and teenagers can be rather scornful and just downright insulting to younger siblings. For example I have heard things said like, "No one wants to hear what you have to say" or "No one cares about your stupid friends." I have also learned that all of my children love to hear stories about themselves when they were younger, like funny things they said when they were learning to talk, or just things that stand out in my mind that I know I will never forget and now they won't either since I tell the stories. This helps the older ones to see that they also went through the same stages their younger siblings are going through. When subtlety does not work and the scornful attitudes flair up I sometimes just point out that when they were the same age they did exactly the same things, and again tell a story using familiar names of friends, etc. and in no time I begin to see the recognition and attitudes seem to soften.
I have recently become a single parent and this problem is so prevalent that my oldest has expressed a desire to live with her father. I believe from things that she has said that this is coming from a desire to be away from her "annoying" little sisters. However, living with her father is not safe as he is an on-again off-again substance abuser so I am not working overtime to provide opportunities for my girls to experience positive togetherness as well as time apart and alone with me.

How about a 50ish mom? I came into my marraige with two children and my husband and I had our daughter when I was 40. She has been a blessing to us; I can't say that she kept us young. My children have a gap of 13 and 15 years between them. My youngest is now in college, and for the first time in 30 years I don't have children in the house to mother. It is a nice change for us, because my husband and I never had "newly wed" time.

I know there are many more women having children in their 40s now because they have their education and careers first. Please be sure you are in optimal health, because the pregnancy will probably be a bit more burdonsome than your previous pregnancies.

I have four children ages 27, 25, 22 and 11. I am also in my second marriage and my husband happily adopted my oldest son. The youngest, our only girl, is actually his only biological child, but he has always claimed all of my boys as his own. I am 47 as of last December. AAAHHHH!! Fifty is only three years away. I am also a grandmother of three!
I would love to begin conversation and maybe even exchange personal email and phone numbers if you wish.
Oh...kuddos to you for doing it a third time at this time in your life! You appear to have so much happening already.....you're awesome and don't let anyone tell you anything different. Children definitely are a blessing and I couldn't ever imagine my life without them.

It is so wonderful to hear that there are others out there! I am 32. We have a combined family of 7 children. Ages 14,12,10,8,7,5 and 22 months. The 7 and 5 year olds are here about three months out of the year. Our 22 month old is the child that we had together. It was a big adjustment at first. I had thought I was done with diapers forever! He has changed our lives! I understand how you feel. It is hard sometimes for me to connect with other parents with toddlers that do not have older kids too. Having a household like this is like no other! Isn't it nice to know that you are not alone?!

Hi L., my name is S. and I guess my situation is a little unique as well. I am 44 , my daughter is 4 and my son is 17yr. old. My husband is now 48yr. old. My husband and I were married for about 7rs. before I got pregnant. When
we were married for 18yr. we became pregnant with our little girl. Due to not living right and not putting God first we got a divorce the year she was born. My husband remarried and for 4yr. that is the way it was. Now we have remarried.
I guess we had to learn the hard way, which I do not recommend to anyone. I work full time outside of the home and then love on my children and husband when I am home. They are a true blessing in my life. My children are so so good with each other. It is a blessing to have them in my life and I will not take what God has given me for granted.

You can find a mom's group that suits your needs at meetup.com
enter the criteria you think is important and it narrows it to groups near you and like you.

You sound like a wonderful mom! My story is a little bit like yours...I am 50 years old, with a 21 year old daughter and an 11 year old son. Long, long ago I thought that someday I would have five children-I love kids. Well, graduate school, two marriages, life, etc., etc. and I have two amazing kids. I work with children in my job-doing play therapy, so I continue to be blessed to have lots of kids in my life. Your husband sounds great, also. My husbands (both wonderful guys) did not seem very enthusiastic to have more kids, but are great dads to the ones they have.
Lots and lots of luck to you with #3 and your 16 year old and 21 month old. I've recently read a lovely book-Expecting Adam by Martha Beck-it is her memoir of discovering that she was pregnant with a baby with Down syndrome-it is beautiful! You might like it.
By the way-the 40's are great, but turning 50 has been amazing (really!).
OK-your post was so positive that I felt I wanted to respond.
D.

I am 38 with a 15 yo son, 11 yo son and 4 yo daughter. Now that I have a girl...we are definitely finished with our family. I am a much better mom now than when my boys were very young, but I hate feeling so much older than a lot of my daughter's friend's moms. I know that is silly. It is a challenge to connect with other mothers with the age spread between kids...so I was glad to see your post. I am south of Houston. Count me in if everyone is going to get connected!

Hello!
I am typing with one hand right now so this may be short. My hands are full with our newest and last who is 8 weeks old. I also have a 3 and a half yr old, 16 yr old and an 18 yr old. How is that for a spread! I am 37 and I too find not too many crazy enough to spread kids out like that. I love being a mom and don't know what I will do when this little guy is all grown up. I am a teacher and have a special ed background so while I don't have a down's child I know lots about them. I think they are the sweetest angels. I would love to talk with you sometime. Send me a message if you would like to chat! Good luck on #3!!

S.

S.

Hi. I, too, am looking for other moms with teenagers and babies. I have a 15.5 year old daughter and a 4 month old son. It is like living in two different worlds. I am going to be 37 in April and, once the baby gets big enough, we will start trying for another baby. I don't want to be in the unique position of raising 2 only children!! My husband is 2 years younger than me and he has never had children before. He came into our lives when Greta was 12, so it has been a challenge for him. He is an engineer and used to being in charge and I was a single mom for so long that we occasionally butt heads over my daughter. He is a wonderful man and he is trying so hard. Our baby, Ezra, is a dream come true for both of us. It is a challenge to have a new one after so many years, though, especially with no kids in between. I have forgotten so much and there have been so many advances and changes!!! I am adjusting to being a SAHM - and so is the rest of the family both practically and financially! I have been in Kingwood for 2.5 years moving here from Atlanta right after we got married. Would love to chat or email.

It sounds like we are in the same boat... I'm 40 and have a 22 year old son, and then after getting married when my 22 year old was 6yo we too had fertility problems.. after many years when my oldest was 17 here comes a baby and then out of nowhere came our 17month old without any fertility help... I'm lovin' my experience... I have met a slew of friends because of the two little boys and i feel complete... We had such a horrible spell with my oldest when he went off to college because he wasnt'serious and we had to pull him out, make him work and all the other stuff you do to put them on the right track... he didn't like us too much for awhile, but i had the guts to do the right thing because of having the 2 babies to look after and they needed their mom 24/7, so it forced our oldest to grow up and now he's doing great...
But boy was that a rough spell.
M.

Hi- I am the mom of 5- he had 2,I had 2 and WE had one-- our kids are 14,13, 12 ,11 and 5. It is a second marriage for both of us- and we were happy with the 4 kids- but decided we wanted one together- and I was 40 when we had our youngest. We have 1 boy and 4 girls. Our boy is our oldest, he has Aspergers syndrome, and his 2 girls have been diagnosed as bipolar- leaving us the middle and the youngest daughters as the only 2 without special needs- all of this makes for an intersting- and NEVER dull moment! So we have older kids- with one significantly younger one, I was older with my last child, we have a blended family and we have special needs kiddos also.. I can therefore understand your situation to an extent, and I definately understand how hard it is to find someone else who has any idea what it is like to have so many unique parenting needs in one family- Be great to talk more with you!
Tammy

Hi'
My name is T.. I am 45, your story reminds me of myself a few years back. I celebrated my 25th Anniversary last week. I have a 9yr. old daughter( I am a stay at home mom who homeschools). I have a 28 yr. old son ,lives in Austin and recently married. I also have a 27 yr. old daughter who has Downs Syndrome. My husband and I tried to have our youngest for almost 15 yrs. She is truely a blessing. Feel free to e-mail me sometime.

Hi L.,
I am so glad to hear from you and the other moms who have teenagers and toddlers! I was beginning to think I was a rare breed. I am 35 and have a 16 yr, 12 yr and 21 month old. I also seem to meet friends with only small kids, and get really tired of the looks I get when they find out I have a 16 year old! There is just a different feel in a house with teenagers than in one with only small children. Even though my kids are awesome and well behaved, it's different with this baby than when the older two were little, it's a little harder to shelter them like you want to with TV, music, ect.( I can't make my older two constantly watch Barney or Wonder pets!!)Sometimes I feel a little judged from other moms who just have babies. Even though I don't have special needs child, my nephew has cerebral palsy and I've seen how taxing all the appointments and therapy are. God bless you girl! And I wish you all the best on planning your new addition, how exciting.
Have a great night.