Mom Needs Help 3 vs 4

You are NOT Crazy!!
I go through spells of wanting another baby. My poor husband has learned to deal with this rather well. At 32- I felt like I wanted another baby- my kids are 9 & 13 so I understand where you are at. We are past the diapers, they can clean up behind themselves, and are pretty maintanence free short of eating me out of a house and home!! I think it is instinct for a mother to want more children. When this happens to me- I will usually book us a little get away as a family- let's say to the beach. While we are there my husband reminds me of the things we enjoy while we are there that would be near impossible if we started with another baby. This usually brings me back to reality.I also consider how it would effect my other children... this is a big consideration. Borrow a relatives kid for a couple of days- keeping my nephews also reminds me of what I DO NOT miss about babies and toddlers. Good luck! If it is meant to be- it will happen... but if it is just a phase- be patient. This too shall pass.

Hi D.,

My children range from 17-34, and I have three grandchildren so far. The rewards have far outweighed any challenges. There are some wonderful perks with having siblings a good bit older too. I can't imagine it any other way. I feel so very blessed!

You are definitely young enough to do this. My brother and his wife just had a baby a couple of months ago. And they are both 40 now. She was 39 when she was pregnant. And their kids were all teenagers 13-18:) And they are all doing fine. They love the baby. I love being aunt to the baby. Its great. Good luck!!

Only you can decide what is best for your family, but you need to remember that you have 5 in your family. Everyone has responded what a positive impact a baby can be (a blessing from God), but it can also have some very serious, long-term and negative affects on the other children, especially the 8 year old. I will always want another child, but stopped at 2 because of where we were at when it was time to have #3. My children are now 12 and 9 and I will be 40 this next year, and not a day goes by that I don't have a fleeting moment of "mommy envy" when I see a newborn. But then I see all of the different directions I am needed already by my 2, and I realize that I could not be the kind of mother I want to be to my older 2 if I brought another one into the family. And with that said, I could not be the kind of mother I would want to be to the baby having to drag it to sports, school functions, music lessons, etc.

I don't think you're crazy at all!!! My son and daughter are 21 years apart. I don't think it makes a difference for the ages... it matters how you and your husband feel. If you both are on board, then why not? The 2 of you are the ones raising the babies. If you're healthy and you can keep up with them, go for it! Good luck.

I have six and there's a 13-year gap between my oldest and youngest. It has been strange in some ways because I've dealt with college and kindergarten at the same time. My oldest now has two children of his own and my youngest sometimes feel a little jealous of the attention I give his nieces. There are definitely some challenges to a large age-gap.

On the other hand, my fourth son is starting college in a couple of weeks and I'm glad to have the two youngest at home because we're not quite ready for an empty nest. I enjoy buying school supplies and I get to do lots of things with them that my other guys are too big for. If I had it do over again, I would have done it the same way.

I know the feeling that the family isn't complete. I went with it and haven't regretted it.

Btw, my parents had a real age gap in their kids. I was a senior in college (and my "little sister" was 17) when my mom told us she was pregnant. My baby sister grew up as an only child, basically, but very much loved and now she's a confident young woman. The weird thing is, I'm older than her husband's parents.

hi, it can work. i have a 28,27,26,24,20,10,8.it has been quite a ride. wouldn't trade it for the world. my 8 yr old was born just before i turned 40. good luck, R.

Hi D.. My husband has two children from his previous marriages. When we got married they were 13 and 6. Brendan the 13 year old lived with us. When we had our first together, they were all 7 years apart. 14, 7, and newborn. Brendan LOVED having a baby in the house, except for 2am because their rooms were beside each other! But he was a tremendous help and he says he actually liked it. Our first son passed away when he was 3 months old. 18 months later, we had Tyler. Now Brendan had just turned 16 and he was still a tremendous help. I am a teacher and I'll never forget when he got mad at me on a teacher workday because I didn't get him up to watch Tyler so while I got dressed for work. He was mad becuase he didn't get to see him all day. I thought I was being nice by letting him sleep in. After that he volunteered to get Tyler ready on teacher workdays (or any other time I needed him to since my husband works nights and wasn't always home yet).

The only reservation that my husband has (he will be 39 next month and I am 28) is that he will be "old" when Tyler finishes school. I keep reminding him that "old" is matter of mind, not age. Now we are trying for a 3rd and he would really like for it to be born by the time he is 40.

I say go for it! :)

Hi Dianne,
I can only speak from the child's point of view on this- I have two brothers- my oldest is 25 years older than me, and the middle brother is 14 years older. My brother is as old if not older than a lot of my friend's parents. I was treated as the true baby by everyone in my family, so there were definite perks to that. :)
It isn't too late and you are not crazy. If my mom thought she were just crazy (she had me when she was in her 40s), I wouldn't be here! I always thought that I was an accident, but my mom claims she was in the same boat as you are now and went for it. I think it happens a lot!

hi D.,
I'm only 27 so I don't have any stories, however I wanted to send you a responds anyways.
I feel like you are gonna be the one who cares for another child so worrying about what others might say or think isn't really a main concern you should have. I believe everyone in your house will be affected by bring in another baby and as long as you and your family are ok, i say go for it.
Just make sure to include the children in the decision.
I am a strong believer that what works for you and your family is all that matters. Someone else might not agree with having a new baby after your children are a certain age but so what.
I wish you all the best and it seems like you've gotten alot of good advice from others on here. so just follow your heart.
God will lead in you in the right direction.
T.

Hi D.! I have a little brother that is 13 years younger than me and I adore him. When he was little, I was in that teenage "I love babies" stage and I carried him on my hip most of the time. Now that we are older (I am 30 and he is 17), we still spend a lot of time together compared to our other siblings (there are a total of 5 of us). He spent a few summers with me during his early teens and my husband and I took him to the west coast with us on vacation last year. He is now spending most of his time with his friends but we still get along fabulously.

While I do believe that every baby is a blessing, I also know that they are lots of work. You clearly have an idea of that since you ahve 3 of your own already. The fact that your hubby is supportive is another plus. I would probably discuss the idea withyour other children as well. Although they cannot make the call, a new baby will affect their lives also. Giving them a voice may help to ward off a little of the sibling rivalry and make them feel like they were a part of the decision also, whether they truly were or not. Good luck to you in your decision!

D.,

The only advice I can give to you is from my mother. She had another child when I was between 13 and 14 I was her only child when she had my brother. She put me in college and my brother in kindergarten. My mom had me when she was 21 then when she was 34 she got pregnant with my brother. I am now 35 and my brother will be 24 on the 25th. We've had a wonderful life things have worked out just GREAT! I love my brother just as if was my own. So NO you are not to old and you may have another child. Four children will be wonderful!!

I can tell you from experience how I felt and what I did but ultimately you will have to be the one who knows for sure what you should do.
Each time I had a child I still felt like I wasn't done. I didn't have a sense of closure. I wondered if I ever would. After having my fourth I finally felt I was done. I didn't desire anymore.
If you still have that feeling and you and your husband are in agreement then don't ignore it. You dont want to regret later not having another. You will know when you are done having children.
And don't worry about the age difference. Your child will fit in fine.

I felt the same way! I was 36 when I had my fourth son. My boys were 15, 12 and 7. I worried about the difference. It is not easy starting over but I would not change it for the world!!! The older boys are wonderful with the baby and he brings us ALL so much happiness!! It is hectic with the older boys playing sports but we work things out with scheduling.My husband is wonderful and sooooo much help! I love the smiles on their faces and laughter when they are all playing together it is priceless!!!! One of my sons even told me that he was sure glad I had another baby. Go with what is in your heart and everthing will work out fine! Good Luck!

D.,
well i'm one of the crazy ones i have four kids and my kids ages are 15,13,10 and yes my 9 month old. Somedays it's very hard with going to games and other things with the older ones but she is a big blessing. I don't think you ever get used to getting up in the middle of the night but i was older when i got pregrant she was born the day berfore my 40th birthday, I also always never felt incomplete i lost a baby 6 years ago at 16 weeks and just always felt something missing. if I had to do it over again YES i would do it. I have all these extra hands to help with her and I'm enjoying it more this time. i know she wasn't planned but GOD had a better plan for me. Youjust have to really think do I want to go back to diapers and baby things all over the house it is hard not having the freedom but she is well worth it. if you want to talk you can email me at ____@____.com Good luck with what ever you decide . Suzy

My older sister just had her fourth baby, she was a surprise after her husband vasectomy, but welcome none the less. Her oldest is 11y.o., 10y.o., 5y.o. I think if u want another baby and can handle all that entails, go for it!

D.,

If you are confused, write down a list of questions to ask yourself : How is my health? Will another baby stress us money wise? Do I really want to go through all the baby stuff again (diapers, no sleep, diapers)? Is this hormones talking? Do I have "baby fever" because someone I know just had a baby? Ask yourself the hard questions and talk about it more with your husband, and then decide... Also, listen to your heart.
I know how you feel. My daughter is 7 and I feel like she's too old to bond with a baby...but I want one soooo bad. Also, I'm approaching 39(Aug 25), so I wonder if "I'm" too old. At least you are still under 35 and have your husbands' blessings. My husband doesn't really say yes or no, which is frustrating. For so long we put off actively trying because my daughter has always been a handful, but now that she's older and less "high maintenance" I'm ready for another one, but for some reason I haven't gotten pregnant, (even though I've been off birth control since 2002). My husband jokes that we just don't try enough, but that's not it. I got pregnant very easily the last time. We don't want to spend millions on fertility treatments(and possibly have twins or more), and neither of us want to adopt, so we are kind of at a standstill, which drives me crazy. I wish we had of actively tried when my daughter was 2 or 3, but we thought it would be too hard. Now my daughter begs for a brother or a sister and I feel so bad about not having another one a long time ago. It sounds like you know what you want to do, and if you feel like you are ready, do it! Don't regret not having one later, like me. I do believe that if God had wanted me to have another one by now, He would've allowed it to happen, but it still hurts because I always wanted at least two kids. Hope I helped and didn't go on and on about me too much.
M. May

God opens and closes the womb so I wouldn't worry about it...if you want another you're still young, GO FOR IT! They are a blessing from the Lord and the man who has a quiver full of them(children) is very blessed! Just aim them in the right direction! ;-) I had my daughter at 44 and she's awesome! I had two abortions before I was saved and learned better, but Destinee has made up for much in my life that I felt I had missed! I will see her siblings in heaven and she knows about them too. Sounds like your husband is a good man to be willing to provide for another one! God Bless your family!

I was 14 when my mother had my baby brother. She also had 3. The second was 10, the third was 8. Amazing coincidence! I have never met a family that had a "tag along" that that child wasn't an amazing blessing to the family. Friends who had oopsies late were initially shocked but never had regrets. Best wishes and God Bless your family.

D., some people are just born for 'nesting'. They have tons of kids and absolutely thrive on the chaos and noise and overflowing joy a houseful of kids can bring. It sounds like you are one of those people! Your kids are getting older and developing their own sense of self-identity and you are feeling left out and needing someone else to care for and be needed by as your older children head out into the world.

And that, my dear, is so cool for you!

It is also not unusual for people to have two 'sets' of kids. I know of one couple who have five kids - the oldest is now twenty, I think, and the youngest is five. That sounds just about like your potential situation. Her oldest has just gone off to college and she is getting ready to put the youngest in grade school. My own parents had six kids and there is a fifteen year difference between the youngest and the oldest. Talk about parenthood! My poor younger sibs had way too many parents to cope with. I think it made them stronger and more independant, too.

I also know of another woman who is one of five kids who put each other through college! The oldest went through with scholarships, a part-time job, and student loans. Mom and Dad paid back the loans. When she was almost finished with law school (and working as a law clerk), the next one was ready to start college. With 'the old folks' paying her loans, she paid for her younger brother's college tuition with what would have gone to her own loans. Then, when the next one was ready for college, three years later, his older brother paid his way.

The last of the brood is now applying to colleges and she will be getting some scholarship funds like her older siblings. The difference will be paid by her next oldest brother, whose student loans will be paid off by his next oldest brother.

Now, if you are counting, there are EIGHTEEN years between the oldest and the youngest. Their mother is now in her late fifties and looks ten years younger. She has an amazing outlook on life and so do her kids. They all pretty much helped raise each other and they all have an amazing sense of self-worth and responsibility.

So think hard about whether you really want to have another child or if it is just a case of empty-nest syndrome. Make sure your husband is an integral part of the decision process and not just "okay, if you want to". The older you get, the more you will need his input and help in the child-rearing. Make sure he is onboard all the way. The older kids need to be made part of this decision process as well, since their lives will be changed by the new addition, too.

Then, if everybody fully understands what the future holds and they are agreeable (or their protests are for purely superficial reasons) GO FOR IT! Enjoy your children for the blessings they are and ... Congratulations.

When my boys got where they were doing things more on their own..school,friend,sports..and didnt need me any more I felt and at times still do feel the same way..and Im older then you..closer to 40..already sigh.Think it over.Do you want a baby to relieve something or honestly do you want a baby for the childs sake?Can you afford another baby?Can your family handle the stress of a new baby?Think about the long term..how old will you be when this child is 18yrs and ready to be on his/her own?Right now when my youngest is 18yrs I will be 40yrs..no more kids.Holidays without them..see where Im going..either way you decide..good luck..
S. B

D.,

My husband and I have been married for 6 years and have a 3 yr old boy and a 4 yr old girl, but we also have custody of his two boys from a previous marriage. They are now, 11 & 15.
We have a gorgeous family and they all get along good. (of course, the oldest is in full blown teenage years now and really only cares about himself, so everyone annoys him most of the time, but he loves them) It's nice to have the help from the older ones (and if you have any girls, I bet they'd be even MORE help!). It's also nice to be able to enjoy the various age activities (middle school ball and highschool ball in the evenings, ballet in the middle of the day). The hardest challenge for me is giving the older, independent kids the equal attention, because the little ones demand it. But, I'd say GO FOR IT...all the way! We love kids and have not ruled out having more and are even contemplating adopting a child from South America.

Good luck with your decision and God Bless you.

B.

You are at the right age to know if you want another child or not. I wanted another after my last one, but had let others talk me into having my tubes tied when he was born, so I wasn't able to. (He's the youngest of 4 children. My nest is full, so I've learned to be content.)
33 is young enough to still keep up with a baby and old enough to know your heart's desire. My question is this... is one enough? or do you want that one to have a sibling close to his/her age too?
You are too young to wait for grandbabies, so if you truly desire to have a baby in your house again... GO FOR IT!!!
Good luck! and God Bless,
L.
Married mom of 4 ages 20,20, 16 & 14

Hi D., I just wanted to tell you that no I don't think that you are crazy. I also wanted to tell you that my little sister is right at 16 years younger than me. Yep mom had her on May 29th and I turned 16 on June 2. I also have a middle sister that is 7 years younger than me. Was it hard on mom yes sometimes but the perks where pretty good to.

I used to pick my baby sister up from the sitter everyday and bring her home with me after school. Everyone at school laughed because I had a carseat in my car LOL. But they all loved Morgan to. Both me and my other sister where able to help out alot. I also have to say she was excellant birth control for me. Now I am closer with the little sister than I am with my middle sister. She just turned 16 this year.

Dianne,
I have to share that I have 14 years between my 2 children. My oldest a son is now 19 almost 20 and my DD is 5... When my DD was born, my son was almost 14 and it has been a blessing by having what I refer to as my 2 "only's"

I am now 43, and was almost 38 when I had my DD. You are not at 'RISK' per say until you are over 40....

The other posts all had some good suggestions, but I have a very strong opinion and that is to...

DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

I knew I always wanted at least 2 children... I lost 2 back to back to have my DD and she is a long awaited blessing.

I "tried" for both of my children, so I consider them both a joy and a blessing.

I did want to say, for those "assuming" that you have a built in baby sitter HUM... Don't assume, First of all this isn't your child's baby and they will resent the child and you if you try to dump your little one them... plus they have their own agenda, life and friends.

Now, don't get me wrong, my DS did help with the little things when she was an infant and they have a wonderful close relationship even though he has moved out.

It is one thing to ask your older children to keep an eye on the little one while you take a shower etc... and it is another to have them watch the child so that you can get a break.... my DD goes every where with me that she can. There are some instances in life that she can't of course.

One should "ENJOY" being with the children, as they don't ask to be born. Remember too you aren't just a parent for 18 years... it is forever. :)

If you ask me, I am so glad we had another, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Maybe it is different for me since I waited to long to have another, if you question the fact that you are too old... I would go have a check up, discuss things with your DR. The only thing I could think of is that it might take you a little while, and you may get frustrated.

Have your progesterone & your thyroid, they are simple blood tests.. I believe the cause for my 2 back to back miscarriages were due to those 2 things.

OH, and if you are worried about downs syndrome and things like that... my sister in law had my nephew when she was 28- 29 and he has Downs.

If you go for it... do it without regret and enjoy the ride of motherhood, it is a lot of work but that aside it is a joy.

I LOVE being a mother and enjoy being around my child...

Good Luck to you and Dianne, Remember do what is best for you and YOUR family.

No I DON.T THINK YOUR CRAZY..pEOPLE THOUGHT THAT I WAS CRAZY AND MY KIDS AGES ARE 14 10 4 AND 1.tHE ONLY PEOPLE THAT HAVE To BE OKAY IS YOU AND YOURS..
C.

It is good to carefully think through bringing another life into the world. I believe that if you can provide the love, care and provision then you should go for it, especially if your husband is all for it.

My mother is the baby of four children. When she was born, her oldest brother was 25! Her oldest sister was 13. The closer sibling was 2 at the time of her birth. My grandmother was 42 when she decided to go for it one more time. This was in the 1950s.

I am 9 and 12 years older than my siblings and love them dearly. With the age gap, you have built in helpers that can actually babysit (if they are mature enough). At the very least will assist you in feeding, cleaning, as well as various other chores about the house. You can make it work so that you have a full house.

I am not certain if children are the answer to completing your life because, eventually they leave to build lives of their own. At the same time, make certain that you discover something special about yourself that you can invest in that will bring you fulfillment. It will be of great service to your family to see you involved in a hobby or something that shows off your talents or interests. My two cents.

Hi D.! I know you probably feel alone in this but your not. I am 35 yrs old and I have a 16 stepson, a 15 yr old son, a 5 yr old daughter and now a 7 month old son. So mine are pretty sread out too. I thought the same thing, "Do I want to start all over again?", well yes I did, a few times actually. So, pray about it and if you and your husband agree that it's the right thing for your family go for it. I wish the best!

If you and your husband both want another one, you should go for it. My oldest is 12, we had a baby last year and have another one (surprise) on the way. We love our expanding family and yes you will literally be starting all over, but it is so worth it. I appreciate all of the little things my son does so much more now than I did with my daughter when I was younger. Our daughter loves her little brother and is excited about the new baby as well. She loves showing him off to her friends. We are grateful for all of them and thank God everyday for the different blessings that they bring to our lives.

I am the oldest of 4, the youngest being 9 and 11 yrs younger. It all works out if it's supposed to. I'll tell you as the older child, (esp being a girl) that it thrilled me to no end to have the babies around. How my mom juggled it all, I'm not quite sure, but she did. Well, she did have help. That's the advantage you have if the older kids are willing (and I bet they will be) to help. And you're only 33. Medically speaking if your other pregnancies were healthy, I say the more the merrier if you're ready!

Hi. No you're not crazy. Unless I am crazy for agreeing with you, lol. I am 34, married for 12 yrs (together for 13) with 3 girls - 14 yo, almost 12 yo, and a 10 yo. My husband & I decided last July that we wanted to have another baby too. Our challenge was that I had had a tubal ligation after our youngest daughter was born. I had the tubal reversal done last September and we are still trying. We are doing the ovulation predictor kits. So far, we have been unsuccessful since I miscarried back in May. But our faith in God helps us tremendously. I believe that when it is time, God will let me carry successfully. The dr who did the reversal said we only had 2 chances within 6 months....with God on our side, we will succeed. We have learned patience and dealt with the disappointment of the miscarriage. All I can say to you is go for it and don't give up if this is what you both truly want. God put us here to inhabit the world and while we may have stopped that earlier in our marriage, I believe we are forgiven and that God will continue to bless us. Because He said, "Ask and ye shall receive." I will keep you in my prayers and ask that you are successful in this journey. God bless you and yours.

D., I understand where you are coming from. At the age of 28 I too got "baby fever" even though my only child was already 8 years old. I just knew I wanted a baby so badly and just prayed that the age difference between my first and second child wouldn't be a big issue. I have to be honest and say at first it wasn't a big deal but as they both aged and my oldest became a teenager and my youngest was about five they grew apart. But I'm glad to say they are close once again because when they were both in their 20's they became close once again. I'm just glad I decided to have another one because I can't imagine my life without either one of them. Good luck, L. R.

D.,
Honey Child you are young enough to have 2 or 3 more if that is what you choose to do. I am 43 and my children are 24, 22 and 1. Yes, 1 is correct and he has been such a blessing. I thank God for him every day and my husband and I have enjoyed having him so much that we may try again - although people think we are crazy (like the other post say you are the one raising and caring for the baby) Follow your heart and go for it! You won't regret a minute because this sounds like exactly what you want! Good Luck and God Bless,
V. (Proud Mommy of 3)

D.,

If you and your husband agree that you want more kids then go for it. My children are 16, 3 and 7 1/2 months. Some people say I was crazy to have the 16 and 3 year old so far apart but I don't care, I love it. My 16 year old is so much help and she loves her two younger sisters and vice versa. So, go for it and keep us posted!!!

My parents had my sisters and I very far apart. Now I am a mother and my sisters are aunts and they love it. My youngest sister and I are 16 years apart. It doesn't sound too stressful for you since your children are older, but the crazy years with teenagers aren't over. Being a problem child myself in my teenage years, I took every bit of energy my parents had and now they have none for my sisters. All displine for them has gone out the door. If you and your husband are financially stable and are capable of helping each child with college, etc., I say go for it. I am a single mom and I wish I could a meet a good man some day, marry and have more chidren too. Children are so precious, making every day worth waking up too, no matter how stressful. Also, you are still young, you can even wait until you are 35. Good luck!

Hello,
I am 30 years old with a 13,9, and 4 year old. I enjoy the age difference and enjoyed "starting over"... If you really want another one and your husband agrees- go for it! I would write down the pros and cons and if you still feel the same, then try to have one.
My eldest is such a great help, and wants to help most of the time. See how your children feel about the idea...
Best wishes!

my kids are 8 years apart and do well together. my oldest brother and I were 8 years apart.... we were best friends (he passed away unexpectidly this past year) - if you're worried about age, then I wouldn't. Go with your heart - there's enough love in there for more! Also, your age is just fine! I had my latest at 30 - and I'm in no way saying 'no more'!!

If you want a child, are physically able to bear one, and hubby's willing, GO FOR IT! I know a happy family who had only one boy. He graduated high school, went off to college, and the next day his little sister was born. My mom was 38 and Dad 42 when I was born. I have 3 older siblings and was kind of 'tacked on the end'. LOL My parents were more like 'grandparents', but that's OK. (I only had one grandparent living when I was born and he died when I was 6). I was 30 when we had our 4th and last (she's 20), and we waited 6 more years before we did anything permanent to prevent more pregnancies. I'm almost 51 now with 3 little 'grandkids', and I'd still take them and raise them if necessary. I've had a very happy and fulfilling life!

Look up http://www.duggarfamily.com/index.html. There have been a few shows about this family on TLC network. They're AMAZING (and SO loving)!

D.,we have a 35 year old,33,25,21,13 & 9 year old.when our youngest was born the doctors didnt expect me to survive I spent the last 3 1/2 months in the hospital and my only son was able to go home befor me.I was 40 and a heart lung patient when I found out I was pregnet the health dept called my cardiologist and he wanted to see me that day.he wasent happy no doctors in out area would take a high risk patient and I had to go three hours each way to see a high risk doctor.even she wanted to end the pregnacy for she felt that it couldnt have any positave out come yet I refused.my son is 9 and has autism.I was on the vent for 4 days and fortenate enough to get off it(the doctors said if i survived i would be on the vent the rest of my life)I personally beleave if god gives you a gift embrace it I wont say its been easy as i've been in a wheelchair for the past 13 years but i wouldnt have done anything differently.god bless you in you decission

HI, I am a mom of 5. I have a wonderful step daughter that is 18, a step son 15, I have two boys 12 & 9, and my baby girl is now 3. We did not plain her but she is wonderful!!I'm not going to lie starting over was hard!!! I forgot alot,lol. But in our case I had lots of help from my kids. They were not jealous like I thought they would be, they all pitched in and helped in their own way. She was worth it. I don't know if this helped or not I just wanted to share it with you. Good luck with whatever you decide.

I have a friend who had a 10 yr old when her daughter was born. It is sometimes easier when the older child can help. It is harder b/c there are many more things that you are contstantly busy running them everywhere. Another friend had a 17 yr old when her next daughter was born. This was not hard b/c she was old enough to pretty much take care of herself, drive, etc But you do take time away from your older children b/c you are constantly busy with your new little one. When I asked my husband about having another his theory was this: we are finally to the point where we can travel freely and easier, we are finally almost out of diapers, the longer we continue to have kids, the longer before they go to school thus the older we are, the more rooms you have to have in your house, toys, toys, toys all over again, late nights, no sleep, your body is not your body for your pregnancy and however long your nurse, etc" It is harder to get your body back at this age...my last was born when I was 35. With all that being said, if you have the room, can afford another, your kids won't feel slighted, have money for college for FOUR kids, are one that does not stop life like traveling b/c of babies, etc then go for it! I love babies and if we had more space, were younger, had more patience, I would do it! I think big families are GREAT. As they get older, that is more siblings, more grandkids for you, better holidays with TONS of family, etc. Just think it all through, truly every detail. Getting up nights to feed, running errands is a lot harder, you are trapped at home more so than with your older kids, if you work, then daycare is costly, doc bills, etc.....then....go for it! Exciting!

W.

Hi my name is K. and there is nothing wrong with having another child even with your oldest being 14. I am 39 my oldest is 14 and I just had a baby last year she is now 1 I also have a step daughter she is 8, and it is great. If you husband feels okay with it and you feel like you need more then I would try to have another. Good luck

Hi D..
I am 37 and a mom of 2 almost 3. I have been married forever it seems. :o) My husband and I have been together 22 years!! Not bad considering we were high school sweethearts!My oldest is 16 and will be a junior this year. I always wanted a house full of children, but fertility issues nipped that in the bud. After several miscarriages and fertility treatments I gave up hope.
My daughter was born July 2006 (we share the same birthday!!).
Our second surprise came the week of Christmas when we found out I was pregnant again. Our newest edition is due at any moment. We are thrilled to be going through this so late in our marriage.
I don't think you are crazy at all. I am already hoping we are surprise again in the future! It's all worth it!!

If you know its what you really want than go for it!! My kids are 12 years apart, my son starts his senior year in high school on 8/25 and my daughter will be starting kindergarden (so depressing :)) and I would not change anything. My daughter thinks the world of her older brother and all of his friends treat her like she is their sister. My son loves to pick and mess with his sister, but if anyone else tries to he is quick to put them in their place. He has already stated that when he graduates from college his sister will be coming to live with him.

Oh yeah I was 37 when I had my daughter!!

If its meant to be go for and don't worry about what others say unless they are contributing to the household!!!

I was married for 17 years and had children 17 and 16. After my divorce from their very abusive father I went on to get in a relationship with a wonderful older man who had two children close in age to my two, his were 16 and 23. After we had been together a year and a 1/2 I unexpectedly got pregnant. I was beside my self with worry about how he would accept it. When I told him he was so excited it was unbelieveable. Now all of the other children are out on their own and our now 5 year old little girl is the apple of our eye and extremely spoiled by her brother and 3 sisters. It has been a wonderful experience for everyone. I was 35 when I had her so it was really like startin over for me too. I just looked at it as if it were a whole new experience since in a way it was for me. I was with a very supportive man who was very involved with the pregnancy and delivery. To this day he is a very hands on papa

Gosh, that is such a hard question to answer. I can tell you one piece of information from my perspective regarding age differences. My brother was 7 when I was born. It was not until I was in my 20's that we really got to know each other. We both felt we were raised in 2 different families. My husband is the youngest of 4. His next oldest sibling is 10 yrs older than him. His mom said it worked out perfect because the older siblings could be more responsible for him.

And, I hope you're not worried about your age being too old. I'm not going to say my age, but when my kids graduate from college, I'll be looking for retirement communities! Yes, we had them a little later in life, but everyone has their own path.

I pray that you will get whatever path you want.

I'm 34 with an 11 & 8 year old and I'm trying for number 3.

My daughter was born when my husband was 42, and her half brother almost 13. Its not too late!

D.,

You are not crazy for wanting more! I am 40 and have a 19 year old and a 2 year old. We have a loving big brother and a loving little brother that is more than I could of asked for. They are so cute together! I dont remember much from before except that everything is so much easier now. I love my family and I love my life! I did start all over and it is so wonderful. I have more patience and dont seem to worry so much over the "small" stuff. Go ahead and enjoy it, your children will be a big help to you and the baby will love it! Enjoy it and dont worry about the age differences because life is way too short!!! Good luck!!

I'm a Communication Coach and mother of 'the fantastic four.'

I was seven months shy of 40 when I had my forth child. His siblings ranged from 16 months to 8 and 10 years for the oldest. However, I was a stay at home mom,didn't have to work, and could spend all my time with my kids. As much as I wanted more afterwards, the kids I already had needed attention and support.

My advice to you would be to ask yourself several questions.

What is your health like?

Are your other children secure enough in their places in the family to understand how much time you will need for a new baby?

In three or four years do you want to start the pre-school thing all over again? Still have kids at home in eighteen years?

Are you and your husband financially stable enough to provide for the kids you have now? for another child?

Would your family consider adoption? fostering children?

Would a puppy or a part time job offer you the same emotional
fulfillment another baby would?

Are you and your husband ready to accept and care for a child who has Downs Syndrome or some other physical or mental challenge?

Just questions the doctor asked me to ask myself when I was considering having more.

It's up to you.
Good luck!

My situation is a little different, but also the same. My husband and I have 3 kids together (all 3 are from previous relationships, none of them are "ours" together), they are 18, 17, and 12 now. We also have a 3 month old son that is ours. So there is 17 1/2 years difference between the oldest and the youngest. A lot of people are "starting over" as you said, but like my situation it is usually second marriages and blended families.
You are not crazy for wanting another baby. I gave birth our son 3 weeks before I turned 35, and am thinking about one more in the next couple of years. Good luck with whatever you decide.
S.

LOL, yes girl, you are crazy. Work through this phase, by volunteering or babysitting for awhile and see how tied down and tired you are. I was 33 with my third, and the pg was harder, and by the time, she was a teen, I wanted some, "me" time. 3 was more than enough. If you are rolling in money, you can always hire part time help, if not, be thankful for your healthy 3.

D.,
No you are not crazy. I am a SAHM with a 9 year old and a 8 month old. The older you are the more you appreciate each child and their differences. That being said I drink ALOT more coffee just to function. Having children so far apart is like a great big do over. You know you have learned alot from the other children and can apply that to a new child. Also remember the helper factor. You have babysitters in training and can help them be better parents through watching and learning from you and the new baby.
Hope this helps.

Hey, with a 14-yr-old already, it's a perfect time! You already have a babysitter! Go for it!

Hi D. no your not crazy wanting another baby, and it's not to late for your family. I am 35years old I have a soon to be 16year old and after 15years of just having my daughter my husband and I just married for 3years together for 6years decided to have a baby and it's wonderful my daughter is so in love with her little sister that she want's me to have another baby now...
We want one or two more if God gives them to us we will start again next year. I know how you feel but it will all be worth it to start all over again.

I have two children and they are my boy Tyler 11 and my girl
Britney 4.... Then I a friend that has two boys ages 13 and 3 so no you are not crazy ..............I olds friend for 30 years has 3 children a boy 17 a girl 11 and a new baby boy as of May 20th of 2008. In fact her old went in with her to have it by C-section cause the the father was out of town on bunsiness. I think it is great that you may want another baby in your home......

Hey D.! this is for you and your husband to decide and it sounds like he's ok with having another child. I had two children by the age of 19 then I had my last child at the age of 46. I was divorced and remarried and my second husband didn't have any kids. Every thing has worked out great. So who cares how old the oldest is or the middle child and so on....it's your life and your business. I had a good pregnancy. All the tests came back saying we were having a healthy child. I love getting to raise a child with the daddy around this time....I've been blessed as you also will be......I am now 55 and my last child is 8 and the two older ones are 36 and 35. My two older kids buy and do for their younger brother all the time.....

Absolutly your not crazy. You are still very young. I have a 13yr old, a 10,yr old, and a 3yr old. Our 3yr old was a vacation surprise, and I could not be happier about having him. The age difference is big, but the older children are such a big help to me. I would talk to the whole family about it, meaning your other children too. They deserve to know what your thinking and be apart of the process.
I think that is great!

I would say go for it! Look at all the help you would have :) I have a 7 yr old and would love to have another one but am waiting until I get married and the time is right. Yes it is starting all over again but look at the help we have! Especially you!

Girl please!!!! You are only 33 - you should go for it! Having kids that are 14, 10 and 8 around only assures you will have more help :). If your husband is supportive of your desire (and he is) then you should get started! Good luck!

Your not crazy, and having four is not to many. I think it would be a fun expierence cause you've hadn't had the joys of a "baby" baby in a while. There's just me, and my brother, and we are 8 years apart. We get along just fine. Now you at least have the help of your older children when you need some extra hands with the baby. The question I would ask though, is look a few years down the road...do you want to be 50 with a 17 yr old? If it were me, I'd still be fine with this, as when you reach retirement age, you will still have all the kids out of the house. :) Go for it.

D.,
I think it would be great for you to have another child. My mother inlaw had another child when my husband was 18 and his sisters were 15 and 16. The younger brother is now 24 and will be getting married in a couple of weeks. I think if you and your husband are in agreement then you should try. I had my second child when I was 33.
Best of luck,
T.

Hi, D. -
I felt like you for many years - my boys were 8 & 10 when I finally jumped in and became pregnant. They were just wonderful with their new sister. My only regret was that we didn't just go ahead and have another child right away. Well, we sorta tried, not diligently & there was a lot of stress going on, which I attribute to not getting pregnant! Our daughter always wanted another sibling and remarkably at 45 I became pregnant again with another baby girl! There are 12 years between them, but they, too, are the closest sisters in spite of the age gap! Her brothers - although they were 21 and 23 when she was born, are also very close to her and she adores them. So, you are definitely not too old & if you're having these feelings, I doubt they will go away - at least mine didn't!! And as long as your husband is open to the idea of continuing the family - why not! Children are a blessing no matter when they come I have found out! Just be ready for some sideways glances from rude outsiders & comments like: "are you crazy?" & "you had it made" & my favorite "I'm glad it's you, not me!" Let go & let God guide you. . . Best wishes!

Hi D.!

No, I am not in your situation, but was a product of it! My parents had me and my brother 18 years apart. They were very young when they had me and were going to be empty nesters at 40. They actually asked me before they had my brother. He was born in April, I turned 18 in May and left for college in August. Now my brother is 15 and making me feel old! (he takes great pride in that:)) We have a very unique relationship and as he gets older, we become closer and closer. I am so thankful to have him in my life. I just wanted to chime in as a child of a family with kids far apart in age and tell you that I feel blessed. If your family has the love to give another child, how lucky you all would be!

I don't think you are crazy at all. You know with the children much older they will be able to help out, so it wouldn't be like the other children.

We had a 16 year old and a 10 year old when our youngest was born. Three boys. I had the youngest when i was 35, they are now 36, 30, and 20. Life was really different with the youngest. Things changed in that 10 years. And, of course my body, too. LOL
I would have it no other way. They were each kinda like only children for a bit. It worked out perfect
I say, if u want to go 4 it. The experience being an older mom was awesome.
I failed to tell you the first 2 were spinals and he was all 100% natural. And, I nursed him and didn't the other 2.

You are not crazy - just make sure you and your husband are both totally sure you want it. If so, go for it!