Looking for Suggestions to Get My Daughter to Sleep

You know what I do with my 2 year old and have for a long time . . . I put on a Baby Einstein movie for him to watch and listen too . . . they are very soothing and help him fall fast asleep.

Hi L.. I feel your pain. I had the same problem with my second child. My first (my son) was on a very strict sleep schedule and we followed it to a T. Then with my daughter I turned soft. I just couldn't let her cry herself to sleep. I don't know why? Then I finally got myself together and got a copy of "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber. This book has saved me over and over again. Every time we get off track I just follow his advice and we are back to peaceful bedtimes within a couple of days. The basic theory is this: You put her to bed still awake and she cries for five minutes. You go back in and tell her you love her and pat her on the back without taking her out of the crib. Then you leave. The next time you go back in is in ten minutes...then fifteen...and then twenty. My daughter did the whole thing where she cried so hard she made herself throw up but we just went in and changed her and her sheets and then put her right back to bed. It was really tough for the first night. After that it wasn't so bad. It only took four nights before she wasn't crying at all at bedtime. I know it is hard but it is worth it for you, for her and for your older daughter. Good luck.

L.,
Your daughter doesn't have issues, she's a normal 10 month old who is attached and happy about it. This is a very common stage- separation anxiety peaks around this age, so don't fret. Giving her the cry-it-out treatment could only prolong the suffering for both of you. Here's my suggestion (which is based on the Dr. Sears attachment parenting theory). Your routine is just what she needs- the wind-down from the day. But may I suggest that you stay with a hand on her back until she's nearly or fully asleep? Then leave the room. It may sound backwards, but for now she can't handle you leaving before then and it's not working for you. If you stay until she's asleep, you may shorten the whole process and save your sanity. You may also introduce or reinforce a lovey (blankie, doll, etc), so that she has something to help her soothe herself if she wakes up later.
No matter what you choose for a strategy, please remember this: Only the one that feels right for you and your family will really work. Your daughter will feel your apprehension if you're unsure about what you're trying. Both my kids are terrible sleepers, so my dd sleeps in a crib attached to my bed and when I wake up there she is on the breast! It simply works for us.
Good luck!

i did a modified cry it out with my son...this is what we did...I did all the same things as you ie the bath, books, rocking and I nursed him...then I would put him in the crib and if he cried I would give him 5 mins...I would go in and comfort him by patting his back, laying him back down etc...then I would leave again...and allow 10 mins then 15 etc...it took about a week but now he goes right down and dosn't fight it...he will occasionally talk to himself or play in his crib till he falls asleep, but that is better than screaming to me! LOL
Good luck!

If I had this problem, I would try staying in her room, but not touching her until she is asleep. After you finish the bedtime routine, sit next to her crib until she falls asleep. Gradually move farther away until she can fall asleep without you in the room. She will know you are still near, but she will learn to soothe herself.

Co-sleeping :o) I don't think 10 month olds can have "attachment issues"...I have a 10 month old, they are stil babies! My son goes to sleep with us when we do, we don't even own a crib and he never cries at bed time..She's cryng b/c she wants her mother, give her what she wants and she probably won't cry... just a suggestion!

Hi L.,

I have to agree with Monica,The child knows that if they carry on that you will cave and pick them up...I went through the same thing when my children were younger...All we would do is let them cry for a few then go in without picking them up made sure that they were dry..make sure that everything was alright with them lay them back down,sometimes pat their backs or rub...It took what seemed like for ever..They came to to know that we were not going to pick them up just because the were crying at bed time...If you find that doesn't work maybe getting one of those bears that have the sound of a mother heart and try that..Please can you let us know how things work out for you?? Good Luck :)

I feel your frustration. My son just turned one 2 weeks ago and he still cries but now he only screams for 5 seconds and then lays down. He was in the "family bed" until 10 mths., then I tried the crib/crying thing and couldn't take it. I discovered that putting him in his carriage and walking around dark room with Motzart playing until he fell asleep. He cried in beginning but liked the movement. I left him sleeping like that for a few weeks until he got used to the change then transitioned him again back to the crib. Still dark room with Motzart or any "relaxation" music. He sleeps most of the night in his crib. The point is you have to find what works for your baby.

I have the same problem with my son (11 months old). I found that with him I need to rock him until he's asleep and then put him in his crib. I found that it works for us. I have the problem that he wakes up in the middle of the night still. He has bunk beds in his room and in the middle of the night I find myself sleeping up there. But I guess we do anything to get some sleep.

Good Luck with your daughter.

I know this may sound strange, but I used a vaccuum with my son that had similar issues. I did my routine, put hime to bed, and turned on the vaccuum outside his door. I found this out by accident, but it worked wonders.

Can Daddy put her to bed? My daughter had attachment issues with me, but went to bed so easily with Daddy. Also, make sure the routine is short and sweet, the longer it goes on the more likely it is that it will be hard. Also, it is usually a greater problem if she is beyond tired--make sure bedtime is early enough that she is restful but not overtired.

I found good advice at babycenter(dot)com as well.

What I did was to move my glider right next to my daughters crib. Every few nights I would move it closer to the door and within 4 days she didn't need me anymore. I tries letting her cry but I had to keep going in there to wipe her nose because it was running so badly and as soon as I left it got even worse! I know it seems a bit tedious, but it worked for me.

Hi L.,

I may sound like the mean one here, but my daughter had the same problem, whether I put her down, or Daddy did. So we would let her cry for a few minutes, then I would go in, re-lay her down, re-tuck her and give her her lovey, shushing the whole time, and then I would say our routine "Good night sweetie, Mommy and Daddy love you" and then I would leave the room again. Repeated if necessary.

I found that if I picked her up, or spent too much time in her room, it just reinforced that the crying would make me stay. I don't mean to sound so mean, but it worked, and it still does at 13 months. (She started fighting me to go down at about 9.5 months).

Hope one of our suggestions works!
Good Luck,
M.

Hi L.--

I'm sorry you're having this trouble. I have a 2-1/2 year old daughter and a 5-1/2 year old son. With both of my children I used the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" but Dr. Weissbluth. I highly recommend reading it, he just made so much sense to me and he stresses that it's never too late to try his methods. He has a modified "cry it out" approach.

Just a suggestion. It's been my baby-shower gift ever since I read it!

Good luck.

Have you tried soothing music? Get a little radio with a tape or cd player and get some classical or something calming. Hope this helps! Good Luck.