Looking for Your Opinion on If/how to Request "No Gifts" on an Invitation

I have 3 kids--5, 3 and 2 and have always had birthday parties without gifts. (I actually can't believe I don't know anyone else until now who does this!). We usually put at the bottom, "In lieu of gifts, a contribution to ... is appreciated." (We usually do Peter's Place, a local nonprofit). This gives people an option to make a contribution or not (most actually don't which is fine because I just don't want 15 new toys for each birthday party). I look forward to reading the other responses for more options, but I hope this helps.

Friends of ours requested that in leiu of gifts that we purchase pet items that the birthday girl could donate to a locate animal shelter. It worked out great! And she was so excited to "give presents" the animals that didn't have a home.

we just wrote on ours "In lieu of gifts, please write a keepsake message for Landon's scrapbook." It seemed to work just fine and no one was offended.

If you really do not want the gifts why don't you and your daughter donate them to a child who needs them? This may help her to not be upset. To be honest i have never, with four children, seen an invite that said no gifts. I agree with your husband that it may be a little offensive....just me...

I've done this every year so far with my daughter (who just turned 3).
The first year I wrote
"In lieu of gifts (I am quite spoiled) please help me save for college (I have my own bank account)"
Some people brought gifts anyway, as will always happen, but she did make out well in the college savings dept.

For her second year I didn't write anything on the invite, but told people when they RSVP'd that gifts were again not necessary.

This year, I again didn't write it on the invite, but tell people when they RSVP and if they state (usually they do) that they want to get her something anyway, I just say that she likes books. I figure, you can never have to many of them.

I am hoping when she's older that we'll either just mention saving for college or have them donate to some charity or fund of her choosing instead.

It's hard as her birthday is only 12 days after Christmas.
Good luck!

There are numerous options. We've used some, and my kids kids have been invited to parties where the invitations have made some of these requests:
--please, no presents
--please, no presents, just your presence
--in lieu of gifts, we would appreciate a donation in Kayla's/Kierra's honor to a non-profit of your choice
----in lieu of gifts, we would appreciate a donation in Kayla's/Kierra's honor to [name a charity you like] or [name another cahrity you like] (and give the websites)
--We will be donating Kayla's/Kierra's gifts to CHOP/St. Christopher's/[name another charity]

As you said, your kids are really little, and they've been to birthday parties where they've seen kids receive gifts. They know the routine. If people actually bring gifts, it may be difficult for the birthday girl to part with them... If people don't bring gifts, that may be difficult, too!

So, perhaps have people bring gifts but let your daughter know in advance that she gets to choice a certain number of gifts (tell her how many) to donate to children who really need donations because they aren't as lucky as your daughter is, etc.

We have had family members make donations instead of gifts. For example, my parents have "adopted" zoo animals in honor of my children's birthdays. Maybe you can have some people contribute to this, and then your daughter can go to the zoo (the Philly zoo has a great Adoption Day, and Elwood Park has adoptions, too)and see "her" animal. One year my parents donated $ so my children could have their hand prints on a wall at their religious school. This was years ago, and tey still love seeing this. My kids also love theater, and my parents have given us theater tickets instead of toys. There is a lot of children's theater out there from which to choose!

Have fun! Happy birthday to your daughter!

We did a no-gifts birthday, but on the invitation we requested that instead of gifts, people bring an 8.5 x 11 sheet with their picture and a birthday message for our daughter. We explained we'd be putting them all in a book for her. It worked and now she has a nice little birthday book that she enjoys reading.

Friends of ours collect toys for tots at their son's party. perhaps there's a charity you could suggest gifts for. Books for a library or women's shelter, pet food for an animal shelter, etc. Then people wouldn't feel funny walking in with nothing, worrying if they'll be the only one to follow the request.

I just thought of something...how about a garden tea/theme party where guests can bring something for the garden. I'm assuming you have a small plot of land where your daughter and her guests can plant some new flowers, plants, etc. It'd be neat since as the garden grows she can remember all who contributed to it. If the weather's too cold to plant, maybe you could still suggest plants as gifts but keep them indoors and make them part of the decorations for an indoor tea party!!

Just a thought, hope it helps.