A friend of a friend lost her 2 month old this week (suspected SIDS, autopsy pending). I met her once when she was pregnant, but don't know her well. I read on here a couple days ago about a book that was helpful to another mom in this situation, the title was written from the perspective of the child (don't cry anymore, mommy?? Something like that). Anyone know what the actual title is and the author? Or any other books that would be helpful in this awful situation? I think she is religious (Christian). Hold you little ones tight!
FYI: I wasn't going to get her the book, I don't know her that well. My friend is one of her close friends, she was with her at the hospital and she wanted to know.
A book that I found some comfort in when my son passed away is http://www.amazon.com/Empty-Cradle-Broken-Heart-Revised/d...
So sorry to hear such sad news.
Oh, how awful! My prayers go out to this woman and her family; may God take them in His arms and comfort them and make them feel His presence so they know they are not alone in this.
I think the book you're looking for is "Mommy, Please Don't Cry.....there are no tears in Heaven" by Linda Deymaz.
There is no perfect thing to do. If she has other children I would offer to watch them while they tend to arrangements and morn. After helping burry a very dear friends child (Daniel and his dad lived with us from the age of 18months till the age of 7) all I can suggestion is to be truthfull and say i know there is nothing I can say or due to change anything or make you fell better so if you ever need to talk I will listen. Consider giving them a tree to plant in memorium or name a star after the child.
My gut is to tell you to hesitate on the book. Everyone grieves differently and you don't know her that well.
When my son was ill (and he is okay now) people were giving me all sorts of unsolicited advice on how to deal. For me...... it got a little taxing. All I really wanted was a hug, a card of support or an offer to be available if I had a need. I didn't really want to hear "the best way to handle it" or to receive a bunch of books.
If I were to give a book in your situation I would give a journal to allow your friend to express thoughts...... if she wanted to....... or to keep grocery lists. It's just too hard to know what someone else wants.
But......That's just me.
While you don't know her well, since your friend does ask her what are some meals you could make, or order to take to the home just to drop off. Or pastries, desserts, beverages a deli tray etc.
My family is southern, and when someone passes away you wouldn't believe the amounts of people who show up at the doorstep with meals, bread, beverages, desserts etc. It is TRULY TRULY appreciated and enjoyed. And takes the burden off preparing meals etc.
Love and prayers to that momma and her baby. How heartbreaking :(
OMG, if I were in the same horrible situation I would never want to read such book...it's like throwing gasoline on the fire! It would be heartbreaking to imagine my own lost child talking to me like that. She doesn't need to feel more pain than what she's feeling already, so I would avoid that kind of book. Probably another one that is more encouraging or with tips on surviving the loss from a different point of view than that of the child, but definitely NOT that book in particular. Just my opinion.
I have a friend whose two nieces were in an accident, one child survived and the other did not (the youngest) so you can well imagine how devastated the family is. I only know the aunt somewhat well and not the actual family, I still did a few things. One, I contributed monetarily (they needed funds for all the hospital bills) two, since the accident, I have sent a card almost if not every other month to check in and see how my friend is doing (you know, usually after the funeral) not much more is said, so I made it a point to let the family know I was still thinking of them and praying for them. Lastly, I have sent the surviving child gifts while in the hospital (she was for about 4 months) however, I know you can't do that. but if you can't find the book, you could send cards here and there. Since then, my friend has told me how grateful she and her family are .. it's the little things that mean the most to people.. you could also buy the child a mass.. Catholics (at least the ones I know) like that.. when you buy a mass, they say a specific prayer for the child or whomever, this could include the child's family..
blessings
I hope no one ever gives her that book. Ever.
