Loud Toys That Bother You? and a Little Ranch on the Side =)

Ha ha! Reminds M. of the lady who talked about toys with batteries. I always forgot between her questions that people considered her a troll and answered her with earnest. Ah well!

We had one toy for the kids that my husband hated, and we would tease that we would have to "forget" one day to pick it up and "accidentally" run over it while backing the car out of the driveway. I wonder if that's "ranchy" enough!

I can't think of a troll question, quite frankly. I guess I don't have enough imagination today (tired!!)

Dawn

Ooo, oooo! Pick M.! Pick M.! I want to be a troll for the day. Hell, I'm a troll every morning so it's not that much of a reach (har har har).

My troll persona's name would be KittyPrincess. And here's how I'd roll.

Friday 9:00pm
Subject: I think my took a bath in my gravy
Question: I was making gravy tonight and my cat was up on the counter. Next thing I know, that darned cat hopped into my pot of gravy and laid down like she was taking a hot tub. I shooed her out and scraped out her hair, but there is still a little bit left in there. My guests will be here in an hour for a midnight biscuits and gravy dinner. Can I serve my cat-bath-gravy to them?

Friday 10:20pm
Subject: My guests are snobby cat hating freaks
Question: What the hell is wrong with people. I had my friends over for a biscuit and gravy dinner. My friends complained about the food I served them! One said it was like trying to choke down a hairball! They didn't even know my cat had swam around in the gravy, so they were being jerks! What should I do?

Friday 10:25pm
Subject: Why are you all so mean?
Question: You are all big meanies. I came on here for support and all you are all a bunch of feline phobic jerks. You are more catty than my cat. Why are you all such jerks?

Saturday 1:00am
Subject: I want to give my cat a bath
Question: I want to give my cat a bath but there's no water where I live. I live in a tree house with my cats. They don't like water. Could I give my cat a bath the old fashioned way? Like a mama cat? She likes it when I lick her. Makes her purr.

Saturday 11:46am
Subject: How to cough up hair balls
Question: I have inhaled a lot of cat hair. Probably happened during my cat's bath. How can I cough up the hair ball?

Saturday 8:57pm
Subject: I am calling PETA on you
Question: You know what! I'm done with you all. I can't believe you are so judgmental. You're all high and mighty and want to bring M. down. Well, I think you are all jealous. You all have bald children and I have a fluffy child. She's prettier than all of your children put together. Christy Turlington is going to come to your house and throw flour all over your face. And I'm going to laugh. Hah ha hah. Right at you. And then you'll know how my poor kitty feels.

Sunday 5:13pm
Subject: That's it. I quit.
Question: I'm done with this site and I'm NEVER coming back. I hope you all don't have a nice day. I hope it rains and you fall in a mud puddle. So there.

:-) :-) :-)

Bamboo flute. I'd rather rip my ears off my head. We also have a keyboard which has preprogrammed "music" (I use this term loosely). It's a five dollar garage sale score which I wish we hadn't 'scored'.

In keeping with what's been going on in the media, I have to say that my troll would go online and ask "So, I went to a restaurant the other day and my kids had to go potty, because they always poop when they eat, so I J. decided to bring the potty chairs in because, like, why should I have to leave my food J. so my kid can poo? Ya know? And then, there are like, people taking pictures... I mean, they didn't even respect my kids privacy or anything. Don't you think they should have asked first if they were going to show that on the internet? I mean, I had those babies and if people are making money on the marketing (you know, those ads) that show up on the computer where the image of my kids is, then I deserve that. I mean, what is wrong with people these days?"

Thanks! I realize the spelling and grammar were far too correct for a troll post, but that was fun!

The way I figure it batteries are optional in toys. Without it builds imagination and the sound effect repertoire. With it my nerves are frayed inside of five minutes and an unhappy parent is an unhappy household. At least that's what I reason to my husband. Our son doesn’t know better and freaks a bit when you do add batteries. He cringes at how loud his own toys are. Works for M. and only supports my rationale. Video games get on my ever last nerve. Unless you are playing the sounds are unbelievably annoying to listen to. No raunchy toys to report thankfully.

If I were a troll...*For all our sakes' my spelling and grammar will be better than the average troll but you can imagine that on your own for the additional necessary flavor.*

Nosy neighbor – My neighbor had the nerve to report M. to CPS because I locked my kid in his room all day because he wouldn’t mind. I tried time outs but he wouldn’t stay in his locked room without screaming his head off. Since the time outs weren’t working, after six hours I locked him in the closet while I went out for an iced coffee. I want to know how to get even with the nosy neighbor for reporting M.. It’s none of her business what I do with my kid and I needed a break from being a SAHM. She’s J. mad because I poisoned her dog who barked all the time. That wasn’t my fault, though. Her dumb dog needed to learn to shut up.

OMG...our sit and spin played music that had no off switch...it was awful. Finally after almost 4 years it died...wahoo! ;)

Unrelated though...Could I be pregnant? My husband is having an affair with our neighbor, got her pregnant, but since I'm his wife, couldn't I be pregnant too? Who would get custody of the neighbors's child?

But wait! Would you ask your child to give up his/her bedroom for guests? If so, would you use a GPS tracking system to find out where they were after they ran away all pissed off?

Or....would you call CPS on your mom when she got mad at you for throwing ketchup at your sister at McDonalds?

Best I can do, haven't had many interesting trolls lately to quote.

:(

Great question!!!! Any toy that plays really loud music and seems like it will never end. I still have little ones so they don't have any really advanced toys. Or the loud toys that you bump in the night when you are trying to be quiet and not turn the lights on! That is always a great moment, then you get really mad at the toy and shhhhsh it.
If I were a troll:
Will my birth control pills still work if I'm already pregnant and will it affect the baby?

the ones that take batteries

those plastic flute/recorder things!

Could I be pregnant?

Oh no!
Return of the toy killer!
Take out the batteries and put stickers over the speakers.
The deciding factor for buying a toy is - (if it makes noise) does it have an 'OFF' button?
No raunchy toys for kids in our house.
The absolute last thing I want to see is anyone under the age of 16 singing 'I'm sexy and I know it' and I don't CARE if the M&M's commercials sing it!

I had sex last week with 5 of my boyfriends, my period started and I've taken 6 pregnancy tests and they are all negative.
Could I still be pregnant and which one is the father?
If it's twins could more than one be the father?

I was going to say McDonalds ketchup on the side, but OK ;)

Yes. There are, like, soooo many ranchy toys out there. I saw one in the store the other day that had horses AND cows. And another - PIGS!!!! And even craft stores are selling ranches with little cowboys!!!!!! One little figure you can buy separately is even carrying a little bucket - full of CHICKEN FEED! Can you imagine? I want my children to be fully comfortable with supermarkets, thankyouverymuch. The kids learn about ranches and farms, the next thing you know, they'll be wanting to plant tomatoes and things in the backyard, and I'll be having to explain pollination to them...and then bees, and birds, and then birds and bees!!!

I'd love to add a troll question, but I don't have the creativity in M. today! You ladies are cracking M. up! (Love Hazel's and Tori's answers!)

The most annoying one in my home is a toy from the Despicable M. movie, it is that shrinking gun and makes the most horrid sound. My daughter begged for it one day when we were at Universal and I didn’t think it was that bad until we got home and she points it at our puppy and will not let go. I have since hid it and she hasn’t asked for it lately.

Added**

I fell down and there is blood gushing out of my head. Should I call the doctor or put a band-aid on it?

LOL, literally. Good one!

Hmmm...how about "who the heck are DCF and why do they think they can tell M. what to do" but she might have been legit crazy and not a troll (this is from over a year ago, not recently).

Take the toy apart and tape a cotton ball or two over the speaker! Put it back together and no more obnoxious sound.