Maid of Honor - Columbus,OH

The 2 big things "I wish" my sis had done

- That she'd thrown me a bachelorette party
- Fed me the day before (I was too nervous and barely ate for 3 days, but the day before was the worst).

My maid of honor was a lifesaver, it would take me a while to list all the things she did. But the very best, most brilliant thing she did for me was to take my cell phone on the day of the wedding. It took such a stress load off me for the big day. She answered all the calls from relatives, vendors, etc. and saved me a lot of hassle. She passed on the messages to me that were really important, but she handled everything else. The only calls I had to take that day were from my mom and my fiance, so I could focus on getting ready.

Make sure she gets to speak to her fiance before the ceremony. It needs to be in person, but so they cannot see each other. Find a good spot and get the groom there at a set time. They can be on either side of a fence, through a curtain, around a corner, etc. Also if you let the photographer know, it can make for a really touching picture!

When I was MOH I put together a Bridal Survival Bag. It had nail polish (the exact color the bride was wearing), clear polish, extra panty hose, ibuprofen, some candy mints in case she felt weak, needle, thread, scissors, double-sided tape, granola bar, safety pins, extra makeup and maybe a few other things.

It came in SO HANDY! Some of the bridesmaid dresses were too long and they were tripping on them (we had only picked them up the day before!). I remember lying on the floor of the dressing room in my underwear, using my thread to hem up some of the dresses. One girl ripped her dress so we had to use a combination of thread and sticky tape to fix it! The bride ran her panty hose putting them on so the extra pair came in handy. One of the bridesmaids felt faint so the mints came in handy too!

Also, carry some tissues or a hankie for the bride. Wrap them around the stems of your bouquet. She may need it when she's up there!

It also may be your job to run interference when family gets hairy. She's your sister so you might have to do that! I had to calm down the groom's sisters when they started arguing about who got to walk in first! The bride had too much to worry about on her wedding day, she didn't want to pick between her groom's sisters! I fed them a line about how it's always the Eldest that walks in first because the youngest is the flower girl so it goes oldest to youngest. I just made that up out of my head, I have no idea if it's true! But it shut them up!

Just be there for your sister. It's your job to help her shine on her wedding day. It's fun, and a big honor. Good luck!

How nice:) Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it proper that the maid of honor throw a bridal shower (or a bachelorette party)? I've never been a part of a wedding, not even my own (we just got married at a courthouse- no wedding, a handful of "guests"), but I think that it would be possibly expected of you. Just one thing to consider, at least...

My MOH tried on wedding dresses while I was trying to pick out my wedding dress! Dont do that lol!! Just try to be there for her every need and always ask if you can do anything. Normally brides have a never ending list going on in their heads and need help sortin thru everything! I, unfortunently, didn't have my sis as my MOH since she was only 13 but she was a big help and i wish I would have! After I got my wedding dress and everything that goes along with it on I had to pee! She went with me to the bathroom and held my dress over my head for me!! Super funny but Ill always remember it bc I def needed help!! lol

MOH can be a huge job if you don't ask your sister from the start what she would like... I have been the MOH several times (sister, best friend, cousin) and each time was very different. There are some common responsibilities, though:
- Purchase all items you will need for the day (without complaint) and make sure the other maids do as well
- Plan the bachelorette party
- Plan or make sure someone else is planning the shower
- Call often to check-in on her and offer help as you get closer to the day
- I would suggest making two trips rather than one long one if you can... you will likely be there for the shower so offer to "run errands" and "make things" with her during that trip.

Day of the wedding:
- Make sure she has breakfast
- Her clothing is laid-out
- You have a copy of the day's agenda along with ALL relevant phone numbers
- YOU hold her cell phone and take ALL calls starting at the rehearsal... yes, vendors will call her that weekend and expect a response from someone
- Have a toast prepared for the reception
- Keep a bag of "essentials" in the limo, church, reception hall etc (Advil, gum, lipstick, nail file, water water water, mints, hand lotion)
- Sounds strange, but be prepared to help her go potty (long trains and veils don't make that easy)
- Keep the party going... get on the dance floor when no one else will, encourage people to mingle (think "hostess with the mostest"). When my best friend got married it was a Sunday afternoon in the middle of nowhere with a terrible DJ, dead flowers and crappy food, but she never would have known it! We danced all afternoon, went back for seconds and sent my husband to the grocery store for roses and remade the bouquets while she was getting her hair done- told her about it after the honeymoon.
- Be the "hall monitor" along with the Best Man and make sure that there is no drama and that no one gets out-of-control.

Be the calm one throughout the whole process. Make her laugh... listen to her complain about your mom or her fiance without adding to it... have a special gift for just her on the day of the wedding. Just make sure that the whole weekend is about the couple.

I am probably not the best person to help with this question, since my MOH completely let me down. However, I think that was a 2-way street--she never asked what she could do to help, and I though I tried to offer suggestions on what I could use help on, I wasn't very assertive (I hate to be a burden on anyone, and didn't really know how to ask for the help I needed... thank goodness for DH-he got me through & was awesome).

So, if you're not getting clear signals on what is expected of you, then let the bride know that you want to help, but that you need clear guidelines on what is expected and where/with what she wants help.....

My MOH was my sister too! She was amazing, even though she was living in CA at the time and I am in WA. She basically emailed me a "to do" check list (she had just gotten married the previous year) with everything I needed to take care of and a timeline. She would call/email me weekly to see how everything was going. She helped me make decisions via pictures sent on email/phones. She came to WA and threw me a fabulous Bridal Shower and took care of all the details with my Mom ~ all I had to do was supply a guest list and show up..
She came to spend the week with me before the wedding. Getting massages, nails done, last minute errands. The morning of the wedding she drove 30 min out to where our reception was being held to make sure everything was perfect and to do some last minute decorating and wouldn't let me go with her when I fully intended to do it. She had recruited her best friend and her Mother to go and help her while I hung out at my Mom's place and relaxed.
At the reception she was truly amazing. We had gone over the order in which I wanted things done and the timeline and she kept the caterers on track, the DJ going and the guests' glasses full! All my vendors knew she was the "go to" and I just got to relax and enjoy my day.
And she gave the most amazing speech and had most everyone in tears.

My MOH was a complete flake. I had asked her to be in the wedding, and even though we lived in two states she agreed. I told her all she had to do was get a black dress that was appropriate enough for a wedding, and get to my house. I would take care of all of her sleeping arrangements etc. Noen fo that happened. She did call me about a month before letting me know she had a navy blue dress she could wear (our colors were black, red and white). After that she just never made an attempt to come. Her bouqet was actually placed on top of my cake (since we had already paid for it months and months earlier).
Eh I have forgiven, but at the time I was very sad. What I wanted from her (even is she was in a different state) was to find a dress and email me a picture so I can still be involved in the "picking out process." I wanted to be able to text/email her pictures of the flowers I picked out for her, what her opinions were on the cake, my dress, shoes, or have her email/text me some ideas she thought of. I guess I was just looking for an outsiders opinion. My mom was pretty traditional, and I was pretty modern, and I wanted her thoughts on stuff.
The biggest one was a bachelorette party, even if it was just the two of us (I had no other bridesmaids), I just wanted to celebrate with my friend!
The next time I get married I hope I choose someone a little more involved lol.
Have Fun!

In my view, the MOH becomes the Bride's assistant. Hopefully she has a wedding coordinator to lift some of he burdens from you.

One of the favorite things my sister did was to have all of my family and friends make one (or more) scrapbook page about me, my then fiance, or the both of us. She sent blank pages out in the mail to people out of town with a postage paid return envelop and a "due" date. She then put all the pages together and presented it to me at my shower. She even cut out pictures of our faces and glued them on bride and groom cutouts for the front of the scrapbook. I wish more people had filled out pages. It was so fun reading everything people had remembered or advised or wanted to share with us and so fun seeing pictures that I'd never seen before. It is really a treasure!! I can send you some pictures of it if you would like.

Its hard since you live so far away. But my best advice is just "be there" as much as you can. And be interested! Ask her about her flower picks, cake, venue etc. Ask to see pics, and have her run ideas by you so she feels you genuinely are interested and excited for her. Try to plan a shower and or bachlorette party the week before if you can. And if theres anything you can do for her in Ohio, do it!
My MOH of was great! She was always there to listen and calm me down. And on wedding day, she was my left arm! Make your sis an "emergency bride kit" include tylenol, tums, needle and thread, bandaids, lip gloss, stain stick etc google it there are GREAT ideas. Also on that day BE THERE.
"Do you need a drink? A tissue? Help with getting dressed? last minute errands etc Keep an ear out that the photographer showed, florist, organist etc. Its such a HUGE day, and having you there to be her eyes and ears will be greatly appreciated! Most of all, have fun :)

MOH should help bride w/ wedding plans, dress shopping, wedding errands, and bridal shower. Since you live far apart, that may require some coordination w/ maybe a best friend that lives near her, telephone calls, emails, internet, etc.

I have never been a MOH, but, I just chose my best friend who lives halfway across the country (i live in indiana and she lives in cali). I don't expect too much out of her, but i also have more htan a year before my wedding (i assume, we haven't actually set a date yet). What i expect is that when she comes back to indiana to visit family that we will be able to go dress shopping, she's planning the bachelorette party (she's great at this, she has planned a baby shower, and graduation open house for me all from california, lol) and of course to help me pick decorations and such. on the day of i expect her to help me get ready. but she's also told me i have no choice, these are the things she is doing. she's been a MOH before so it was easy to set my expectations based on what she has done in the past.