Making Couple Friends

Updated on February 03, 2012
M.M. asks from Newark, NY
4 answers

I have a few girlfriends that I get along well with, but we don't really do much with them as couples. I remember when I was growing up, my family camped, barbecued, etc. with 2-3 different families on a regular basis. We have had several couples over for dinner, trying to establish friendships, but it is rarely reciprocated. My husbands job is about 30 minutes away so we don't hang out with his co-workers. I am a SAHM, spending my time volunteering at the school and running the household. I have made friends with some moms, but haven't found a couple we have more in common with besides kids. We find that most couples spend time with their siblings, or friends from work. Our church does not have a lot of young couples either. So how do you go about making couple friends? I should also say we live in the country outside a small town (around 10k), so neighbors are out of the question too. We are both very active with working out, playing volleyball, spending time with our kids, etc. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

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B.S.

answers from Lansing on

Try not to compare your life to your parents growing up. Life for you can be different if your happy with it.

I know for myself my parents did not have a lot of friends we did much with, but we did do things with my dads family sometimes and sometimes with my dads cousins. But a lot of things we did on our own as a family. I remember my childhood being fun without "couple friends"

I think everyone needs friends and it sounds as though your not short on friends as your worried about doing things with other families. Just realize its not a necessity to a happy childhood. Who knows maybe when you stop looking a friendship will come along.

Good luck

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A.F.

answers from Houston on

Hi! I don't have a lot of suggestions, but are there any adult/couple sports leagues in your area? Softball? Volleyball? Even bowling? It would give you something else in common, though I suppose there's no guarantee they'll have kids, too.

I'm in a similar boat - I work, but not with anyone we could be couple-friends with. My husband was carpooling with a guy who has a young daughter like us and we got together for lunch a couple of weeks ago, but have been unable to get anything else scheduled (we've both been trying).

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L.A.

answers from New York on

you might want to ask your parents how they formed those friendships. maybe they were just people at a neighboring campsite that they found and happened to like. the feeling was mutual so both sides made a continued effort. plus both already knew they shared an independent love of camping.

I think you might find it easier to go about this looking for people who enjoy the things you do, rather than looking for people you enjoy and hope to do thing you both enjoy with them.

Y.C.

answers from Orlando on

I don't know what to suggest as you are doing and looking in everything I would have suggested.
If anything I could say is to try again with some of the couples that you have only tried once or haven't see in a while.
people change and our lives change too.
A few weeks ago, I was living with my In-law, I didn't feel comfortable inviting somebody to a house it wasn't mine and I couldn't always reciprocate an invitation since we also were just coming from a economic bump.
Things are doing so much better now, and my kids are older, I am able to do more things and my interest have also change.
Perhaps some of these couples that your reach before have change and you find more things in common now?
Good luck, finding friends seems more difficult for me too in the new house, once I finish decorating I want to invite my neigboors, so perhaps that helps.

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