Making Friends for a Sahm and Daycare Provider??

You know I understand. Getting away is difficult. Then when we do things like this happen. My entire life I've been the one to give and give in a relationship. But the people always seem to have so many other friends that I just don't measure up. It seems like the other people do what I don't or can't.

A few years ago someone contacted me that had found my daycare blog. They said they felt that I was just the kind of person that they wanted in a group they were forming. They wanted to do something similar to the red hat society only come up with their own group of 5-6 woman that would go away some weekends and get together monthly. But the very first time they invited me to come meet with them it was short notice and they said they would be spending the weekend together and mentioned drinking. What a LAUGH! When I go to the bank or store I come home and something didn't get done. Or one of the kids broke something. Or someone hit someone or pushed someone down causing a bruise. Yeah, these things can happen when I'm home. They do happen when I'm home. But they don't happen often with me keeping my watchful eye out and there is no way that this control freak could ever go away for a WEEKEND! In 26 years of marriage my husband and I never even did that without kids. Just how would I explain to my husband that I've suddenly decided to become part of a group like something only seen in the movies? And what can I say about the drinking? I emailed the woman that contacted me and shared with her how unlike me that would be and how far fetched the idea is to my world.

In the case of what happened to you with those two woman, S... You probably need to learn to be a little more outgoing and willing to interject yourself into their conversation or gently sway the topic to something the 3 of you could discuss. It's HARD. I'm not usually able to figure out how to do it and always afraid if I did they would be irritated with me for "taking over". So I tend to sit and listen or leave too.

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Hi S.,

Try some other places. Go to things that interest you--museum, movie theatre, min golf, church, sewing etc. Pray about it and put it out there of what you are looking for in a friend. Write it down. When you have a goal---you will see people that fit the bill. Reach out to others--just because your other friend doesn't call- doesn't mean you can't! GL!

M

Did you try to interject comments into the conversation? Or just sit like a lump? lol. Not trying to be rude just wondering. Sometimes people forget being a stay at home mom means you don't work it doesn't mean you don't have a life. If you want to make friends get out there and make them. Join a library group, join a mothers day out group, start going to the park at the same time each day and watch and see who else is in the same area. sign your kids up for a mommy and me class, join a yoga class. When your the only one with kids the other friends you hung out with have a different agenda. they will end up where you are eventually. But if the friendship is important you keep plugging away or your life changes and you make friends with kids. is there anyone in your neighborhood? maybe start a playdate time at your house in the backyard and invite other moms/kids from the neighborhood. join a bowling league and go once a week without kids or hubby it will do you wonders. join a gym and put the kids in the gym daycare for an hour. everyone will be happier for it. volunteer at the soup kitchen at a local church. they need help and it gets you out of the house. see homeless people struggling just to eat will put things right back in perspective. Good luck

Hi!
Don't be sad Mama-- What a great, selfless, hard working mom you are! Kids are the best but yes, it can get pretty lonely. There's a website meetup.com. I looked up your city and "moms" as topic of interest and there was a list of groups there you may want to check out. I actually just started going to group outings with moms and kiddos I met through this site myself and am sooo glad I did. It's pretty nerve wracking getting out there after being home alone but waaay worth it. I know you are a busy mom and wife but even if you are not able to, or have the energy to, get out of the house you could even reach out to a few moms through email. I'm sure they'd be happy to listen and offer support and have felt the same way you-and I!-have felt. To be able to talk to people who understand and can relate-sigh!-it's great!
Best of luck and hope you have a great 4th!

Sorry you're feeling sad this morning S.. I understand where you're coming from. Being a SAHM can feel very isolating. My best friend moved to Cleaveland, and the few other friends I have work. Most of the moms that I meet through my children's school have children in one sport or another year round, and they are naturally friends with the other moms who's kids also play sports. My kids have no interest in sports, and I don't want to push them into it.

My DH is truly my best friend, but I do wish I had more opportunities for girl time too. Do you like to read? Maybe there's a book club or something you can join. Sorry, wish I had some great advice for you, but just wanted to tell you that you're not alone. Wish we didn't live so far apart- I'd be your friend :)

Feel free to PM me if you ever want someone to talk to :)

Added: Hey just noticed you and S L M are both from Kansas City!