Making Kids Laugh

Read the book "Playful Parenting" by Lawrence Cohen. It will give you lots of ideas:

http://www.amazon.com/Playful-Parenting-Lawrence-J-Cohen/...

This is an excellent question. How awesome of you to be so self aware that you KNOW you feel like you're too serious all the time, and that you WANT to create a different atmosphere for your kids than you remember as a kid. I think that's awesome. :)

For me and my son (age 5), it's when I do something unexpected, that he finds it hilarious. I often feel like I'm constantly doling out orders, telling him what to do, or what not to do, and I really have to catch myself, and step outside of my 'serious mode' and take opportunities to just relax and be silly with him. He tries so often to be silly with me, and there are far too many times that I don't take the opportunity to be silly back... but there are those times when I have some clarity, and realize 'this' is a chance to make a moment with him...

A perfect example of seizing the moment happened last night, when my son was taking his bath. I gave him a bubble bath, and at one point, he picked up a handful of bubbles, and blew them at me... and I laughed a little, and told him not to do it anymore, because he was getting bubbles everywhere (normal mommy response). Then, I snapped out of 'Mommy Mode' for a second, and picked up a handful of bubbles, and blew then right back at my son. He was shocked, and laughed and laughed a deep, satisfying laugh. It was awesome. We blew some bubbles back and forth, and yes, there were bubbles all over the floor, but who cares. The bubbles on the floor could be cleaned up in 30 seconds. That memory, and the silliness we shared was well worth it.

Sometimes, I find that the same kind of unexpected silliness can also snap my son out of a sour mood, too... for instance, if he's whining about something, I'll call him over to me, in a somewhat serious tone, as if I'm going to issue a warning of some sort... and I'll lean down, and give him a wet willy (read lick finger and stick it in his ear - gross, I know, but gets him every time.) Of course, he doesn't expect it at that seemingly serious moment, and most of the time, so much laughter ensues that he doesn't even remember that he was whiny or cranky the minute before.

Another way I do this is to let my son do something unexpected... something that I usually don't allow. For instance, with all the rain we've been having, of course there are puddles galore. And of course, in Mommy Mode, I have to repeatedly say, "Don't step in that puddle with your good shoes..." But one day, in Walmart parking lot, I saw my son carefully avoiding the puddles, when I picked him up, and splashed him right down in the biggest one. He looked up at me with total shock - and delight. Then we proceeded to stomp through the rest of the puddles all the way to the door. And we walked around in Walmart in all our soaked feet and legs glory. And our shoes and pants dried, nothing was ruined, and we had a blast.

Oh, and sometimes, I talk to him with a super-exaggerated English accent, like I'm the Queen of England. Just saying to him what I would normally be saying, but using this ridiculous accent, and he finds this hysterical. I kind of do too. LOL

But it does take a conscious effort to remind yourself to step out of "Mommy Mode" and interject some humor or silliness into your life.

So that's what I try to do. To surprise him by stepping out of "Mommy Mode" and letting myself - or him - do something that wouldn't normally be allowed or expected. It seems to me that when I do this, I get the most amazing reactions from my son.

Hope this helps.

We put on music and dance all goofy and sing loudly. We challenge each other to 'dance off's' to see who can do the funniest dance (have to admit, my 7 year old usually wins!!)...

Sometimes when it's really hot, I'll bombard the kids with water balloons when they're coming home from the bus stop (HAHA!!)... or if we're at the river, fully clothed, I'll toss them in ;) I'm usually pretty strict about 'don't mess up your clothes!' so getting their clothes wet because mom provoked it is hilarious to them!!

We play little pranks on each other. The girls will rearrange something of mine, or replace my stuff with legos or some other little toy (I usually don't find these things until they're at school, and it always makes ME laugh!) To prank them back, I'll make them a funny lunch, like put green food dye in their applesauce so when they get to school and eat lunch, they find 'moldy' food and a little note that says 'got you! love you!'

Pillow fights are huge in our house... ditto with tickle fights.

Reading books in funny accents ;)

If the girls are vegged out on the couch, I'll go sit on them and pretend I didn't see them (this usualy results in me being tackled to the floor and bombarded with pillows)

It's not the quantity of 'fun time', it's the QUALITY. We're not fun ALL the time, but I do make an effort to try :) Good for you for wanting to do the same! HAVE FUN :)

Your instincts seem good to me, but I wouldn't worry too much about the way your kids compare you to their dad, unless THEY are complaining that you're just no fun. If you want a wonderful resource that will help you become more playful from the inside out, I love the book Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen, PhD.

And on the subject of communication, you will not find a better "workshop" in a book than How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Faber and Mazlish.

Good luck!

My son and I have a lot of fun together - always have. I decided early on, basically when I was pregnant 15 years ago - to have fun with my child. My parents, though loving, and (mostly) fun, had "issues" and were not always able to be there emotionally for us - so it was important for me to break that pattern.

So we played together - instead of vacuuming or something, I would sit on the floor and play cars with him, Chutes and Ladders, just whatever. We didn't watch TV - play time was interactive. We went to the park on my days off, walks down the street to watch the train go by almost daily, just whatever. Spending time like this allowed me to really focus on him and learn his personality.

And I took him everywhere with me - much to some of my friends dismay. LOL

We played chase in the house - still do - did it last night - tell silly jokes, and sing made up songs. Now that he is (GASP) almost 15, we talk about current events, things on the news (we watch TV now!), I read every book he reads so we can "share the story".

But, I also balance the fun with parenting. Since I am a single Mom, I have to be the fun parent and the strict parent. Sometimes strict parent wins and he gets grounded, sometimes fun parent wins and he gets to stay up late. I find now, that he is a teen, humor goes a long way in alleviating tension in my home.

Don't avoid them when they are watching TV or playing video games - sit down and join them. Some of the funniest moments we have are when my son tried to teach me to play one of his PS3 games - I was, and still am, horrible at it - but it was hilarious. We still laugh about it.

Go out in the yard and throw a frisbee around, go for a walk, do things that take you outside of the house - outside of the environment where you can keep yourself busy. Also, Find things to do with them individually, that they enjoy and build fun time that way. Maybe you are overwhelmed by the "tribe" - it is easier sometimes to be one-on-one.

Don't think they see you as not fun and will not talk to you about everything. You are their mother, the one who nurtures and disciplines, and teaches them daily life lessons. In the end, that goes a long way to building your lifelong bond with them.

Good Luck and God Bless

What makes YOU laugh? You can't be anyone but you. If you think people falling down is funny, go for slapstick around the house. But if that isn't funny to you, it wont be a genuine connection between you and the kids. I'm the more serious person too, but my kids singing and dancing to Michael Jackson cracks me up. So, we turn on the concert video full blast and all sing and dance and laugh our butts off. I like to read, so, when I go to the Library I try to bring home knock knock joke books or riddles, funny rhymes like Shel Silverstien. I like movies, so, when I go to Redbox, I always get a kid movie and we waatch all cuddled up together on the couch. I've found ways to enjoy them. Even clean up time is set to music and we race. You don't have to be your kids friend or entertainer, but if you can find ways to make everyones lives more enjoyable, go for it.

The best way to learn what makes them laugh is to spend one on one time with them. Talk with them, see what they like to do, participate in some of their interests with them. Instead of telling them to do chores or academics, ask them what would be fun for them if they each picked out a thing/activity to do with you. Start there--get to know your children and before you know it, you will be in the know about what makes them laugh, giggle and really shine. Try to just let loose and get silly. When your kids see that you aren't so serious and strict, they will loosen up around you. Fake it till you make it! Good luck!

M

it's not so much what you do for them....it's all about what you do with them. I hated when my Mom began to disconnect over entertainment choices, I hated riding in the car with her.....& not being able to share current music with her. I knew I loved listening & rocking out to music ....& I knew that she was just blocking it all out. It was such a disconnect moment for me that I swore I would be active in my children's interests.

My sons are 14 & 23. We share music constantly. We don't always like each other's music....but have enough common ground that we take/make the time to listen together. In fact, they gave me a new cd for Mother's Day - & knew exactly what to buy (a subject which my DH is clueless!). & I love when they come home...eager to share a new song with me!!

We do movies together - both at home & at the theater. We do concerts together. We take road trips & jam our way all over the Midwest. 90% of the time, my DH chooses to stay at home....& I consider it his loss. (His time with our sons would be hunting/fishing/etc.....& that's when I stay at home.) Both of my sons love to shop, both will tour historic sites, both love enjoying the natural resources in our area. We do a lot of this with my Mom. My sis & her family occasionally join us. Our entire family rejoices in the fact that our 23yos both join us regularly!

Sooo, that's my recommendation for you: every time you feel like avoiding your kids, gather them all up & DO something. Put a smile on your face, reach deep down inside yourself.....& put them 1st! It takes NO $$ & very little effort to make most children smile.....what it does take is "time" & that's what they need from you!

& please don't judge yourself by your children's responses to your husband. In most families, there's one disciplinarian & one goofball. Unfortunately, Dads are usually the goofs. (sorry....hope that's not offensive to anyone!) Judge yourself by your actions alone....& think about how your kids interact & react to you! That's the measure of a Mom....

Step outside of your comfort zone and see how you feel. May be a little weird at first but try to be in the moment. Put on some fun music and dance around with them, try to start a relay race, heck you can even put on a silly voice here and there and that gets my little guy every time. I'm sure too that it's just like everyone else, you get stuck in your routine. Push yourself a little and it could eventually become something you enjoy as much as they do. Kids look at Mom and Dad differently anyway. Doesn't really matter how fun you can be, moms are usually the chore givers, homework enforcers, etc. Don't beat yourself up though, you are who you are and your husband married you for a reason so don't sell yourself short.
Take care

I consider myself a serious person too. But when it comes to the kids, I sometimes turn into someone else. Lol. I'll do dances, make faces, over exaggerate my voice when I talk. Anything to get laughs out of them. My 15 month old looks at me and cracks up. Sometimes he can be stubborn. He acts as if he doesn't want to laugh, but I won't stop til he at least cracks a smile.

I have three boys aged 3, 4 & 6. The funniest thing in the world to them is saying poo. That and farts. Tickling them and speaking in funny voices, or dancing around in a crazy way comes in third. Easily amused little boys. Bless them. Who knows what it will be when they reach your kids' ages.

I think it is typical that one parent is more "fun" and the other is more serious. It's a personality trait that we can't completely change. The joke between my daughter and me is "you're not very fun!" I didn't play as much as others even as a child. I've always loved reading and also physical activity of all kinds, and animals. I didn't play with dolls, didn't really like board games, didn't like "make-believe". That doesn't mean that me and my daughter don't laugh or have fun together, but I don't joke with her like her dad does. We have developed some ways of lightening things up.

She has taken several acting classes, and likes playacting, so sometimes we'll start talking in made up language and try to have the other understand and have a conversation (almost like charades). If I find myself turning into the serious yelling mom, I might switch "characters" right in the middle, which gets us giggling.

We go on bike rides, scooter rides, swimming, and karate class together. We have a cat, dog, and hermit crabs. She's starting to like reading more, but she is a natural math whiz and I'm not. She loves science, so I do what I can to do that with her.

Try playing with them for short periods of time. Try not saying "I don't know how" or "I don't like this" and work on being in the moment. It can be hard. I've struggled with this, too. But try not to worry about it and just enjoy them.

Every person's personality and gifts are different, so please don't feel you somehow have to make yourself into a totally different person to improve your relationship with your kids - I think they can tell when you feel comfortable in your own skin and that can help them feel more comfortable around you (have you ever noticed how being around people who seem to be a bit anxious can raise your anxiety level, while being around people who seem content with how they are can make you feel more relaxed about yourself?). "Having fun" doesn't *have* to mean "acting funny"

But, one thing you could try and see if it feels right for you - since you feel that your kids perceive you as serious, try using a comically exaggerated serious/monotone voice and words some time to play along with that image (maybe something like "Your mommy's not always so serious. She told a joke once in 1998"). (one of our family mottos is "you can take your responsibilities seriously without taking *yourself* too seriously" - when you're comfortable with a bit of self-parody, that can go a long way towards providing a little healthy fun in family dynamics.

four year olds (like mine at least) have the BEST sense of humor. i admit, i have been known to just whisper the word "poot" (i know, totally juvenile) just to see my son erupt in peals of the most wonderful laughter. tickling works too :)

not long ago i taught him a couple of jokes. he took off with that and made up his own - even though many of them didn't make a lick of sense, once he figured out the "formula" he went nuts and cracked himself up all the time.

lately, we have been singing a song that is on one of his cd's. it's an echo song, so i sing a line, then he sings a line,

"down by the bay (down by the bay)
where the watermelons grow (where the watermelons grow)
back to my home (back to my home)
i dare not go (i dare not go)
for if i do (for if i do)
my mother will say (my mother will say)

....and then you put in a silly rhyme. like "have you ever seen a whale, with a polka dot tail," and then we both sing "DOWN BY THE BAY!!" any kind of silly rhyme will do (have you ever seen a cat, wearing a hat/have you ever seen a dog, walking on a log) - i sang it to him before bed one night and he jumped on it,and now we take turns filling in the last line. his never rhyme (yet) but he just erupts with giggles anyway. it's great fun :)

OH i also agree with Sue H - we listen to the radio on road trips. i station hop, and i consider it my own personal duty to educate him in "good" music. he's little so that still works. but we will talk about a particularly good song that we find. it's pretty interesting and we both love it.

I would simply spend time with them, I think that is what they will remember the most. The part that stuck out the most to me, was that you keep yourself busy to avoid playing with them. That makes me sad for you!

I am sure that is not how they view you at all. Your their mom and they love you! You don't have to be goofey or funny to be a good mom. Just spend time with them, listen to them and love them. Try not to compare yourself so much to your childhood, just do what works for you.

I kinda feel what you feel. My son is only 4, and we do have a lot of fun and we laugh together, but I also come from serious parents. One thing that might help you is to let your KIDS teach you - be open to who they are and what they're doing. Maybe even ask them to teach you how to play?

My son likes to make "bridges" with his hands, and when I "walk" my fingers across the bridge, it suddenly collapses - so my "finger guy" falls down yelling "ahhhhhhh" and it cracks my son up. I'll try to hurry over the bridge or stop before it collapses, and he thinks that's funny too.

Just do whatever. Involve yourself in little ways and you'll learn and get more comfortable. Good luck!

My suggestion is to tell them about themselves. Every child believes the world revolves around them, so they'll be enthralled. Tell them funny stories about when they were babies and toddlers. The weird foods they ate, the funny things they used to say, the crazy things they used to do. And maybe relate a few things you used to do as a baby or child. Pull out some old pictures of them and tell them about trips you made, holidays that were crazy, funny things they used to do.

You may not be the 'zany fun time' parent, but you can be the steadfast, love without limits, marking and remembering every year parent. The one whose love is always strong and dependable. Remember, playing WITH your kids is actually kinda tough work in itself. Don't be so hard on yourself. What you contribute is worth more than you realize.

My husband and I make our kids (and ourselves) laugh a lot. We both came from families with very involved, get down on the floor and play parents. We "wrestle", tickle, dance, chase, hide and seek, race, play under blankets tents, hide and scare eachother... My husband is much better at it than I, but we definitely have a good time together!

My hubby is the more serious one but he is playful with the children a lot. I am ridiculous, so I might have you too far out of your comfort zone, so I'll tell you what he does! :) Ours are younger, but he hugs and kisses them every day and asks them how they got to be so handsome, you could use beautiful of course for a girl ;) Then while he has his arms around them, he reaches down a gives their sides a poke which always gets some good giggles. You can even just sit beside them with an arm around them and then go for the side tickle, I have never known a kid that didn't like to be tickled :D He dances with them lots, and really gets them laughing that way doing silly dances. Like if music pops on the tv he will go in the living room and dance around, even if it just the theme music to a show or something. The LOVE that! They always get up and dance with him. They all show off their "moves" to each other, it's hilarious. He also simply talks to them. He asks them questions about their day, although the 15 month old doesn't have much to say that is discernible yet! But they love being talked to and feeling that even for 5 minutes they have their father's undivided attention. I don't think you have to feel bad for being serious or try to be a tickle monster or super goofy. Maybe just try to take a little time everyday to just get into their world, give them some extra lovin' and talk to them and see how it goes. If you are bold enough to go for the dancing idea, I know they will love it, believe me you don't have to be a good dancer! Good luck ;)

At least you've acknowledged the problem. Good for you!

I really don't know the answer, some people are just more serious by nature. Humor goes a LONG way in parenting, so it's definitely something to strive for. If you're not innately funny, you can at least be fun by playing games. Start with board and card games (not video games). You can have a lot of fun playing board games with your family. Usually they bring up a few laughs.

Great answers. I love Lee's answer.

Each kid is an individual. What make my kid laugh may not make your kids laugh. So you have to spend time with them better. Eventually after you have developed a closer bond, you will find yourselves joking with each other and laughing in no time.

I think you just have to keep spending time with them doing fun things; the more you do it, the more you'll be able to relax and have fun with them. Don't be afraid; just because it doesn't come naturally to you doesn't mean you will always be serious all the time. Acting like a kid is a great way to laugh and spend time with the kids, so you can try to play fun games with them. Tag is always a great one; it's always fun to chase after each other, and it's a good workout, too. :-)

I think it's great that you're trying to balance being "serious" mom with being "fun" mom; just the fact that you realize this part of yourself will make it easier for you to change it. Good luck, and have fun!