My 3 yo daughter is taking ballet. This was her second day. My daughter has the biggest heart and thinks all little girls are going to be as sweet as she is and will want to be friends. Being 3, in ballet, she is not the most coordinated one and isn't always as focused as the 5 yo's. Today, after class, one of the 5 year old girls was being rude to my daughter. This little girl's grandmother was trying to ask the little girl if she could be nice to my daughter in class and the girl loudly replies, "NO! I don't like her." This is not the only girl in her class who treats my daughter this way.
Since I cannot hear what goes on in the class, I'm not sure why they have singled out my daughter. I know the teacher assists my daughter a little more at times and I'm concerned about what might be being said to her by the teacher since she wants me to record the class and work with my daughter at home for the recital in December. My daughter is 3, this is a community activity center - not a ballet school. This is more for her to get an introduction into ballet, not to become a prima ballerina! I really don't know how to handle this. I have told Elizabeth that not all girls are nice and not everyone will be her friend. I want her to be able to blow it off and she seems to be. I just don't know what else I can do. I'm trying to get a feel for if it is just the little girls or if there is an attitude from the teacher as well. She says she wants to stay in the class, so I am going with her lead on that.
Anyway, how does this happen? Why do little girls do this? One started the first day right off the bat. I'm a very frustrated momma bear!!! :(
She is not the only 3 yo in the class. It is a preschool class with about three 3 yo's, three 4 yo's and four 5 yo's. She loves dance and I do see a spark when she is doing it. I don't want her to get discouraged. I will go in and 'tape' the class next week and be able to hear for myself what is going on. Thank you for the advice and support!
I'd be having a talk with that teacher and tell her if she can't control the kids then you will be coming to sit in on the classes and putting your foot down when the mean girls have something to say and talk to their mothers as well. 3 years old is too young to be bullied and if that doesn't work then take your daughter out of there and find another class where she can still do the ballet dancing.
there is such a big difference between three year olds and five year olds but only the MOST mature five year olds can understand that a three year old can't do what they do. A typical five year old could just be frustrated and not understand WHY your daughter cant keep up, especially if she does not appear to be babyish and tiny and cute they may be looking at her as a peer. It sounds like they are all five year olds except your daughter, is that correct? seems like she should be in a class for her age group.
The maturity level between 3 and 5 is vast. I'm assuming since this is at a community center, that's the reason they do not have a separate class for her age range?
That aside if I were you I would try and sit in the class or find her a new school where she can be grouped with kids her own age. You don't want her relating "mean girls" to ballet because then she may not want to do it at all. Her experience needs to be a positive one =-)
I concur with Sandy L.
Good luck!!!
you need to sit in the class and see for yourself what is going on. tell the teacher that you are going to sit in the back and watch. If she doesn't like it talk to the program director. If I were you and they would not let me in to watch I would drop her out for a year. I wouldn't trust what was going on in there. The big girls probably see her as a baby and easy picikins...if you are in there you can jump in and tell them they better stop it. And don't be nice about it either.
And-girls ARE mean..they just are. I rarely have seen this kind of bs coming from little boys-sometimes but not often. You have to teach your daughter to stick up for herself. Whenyou find out what it is these girls are doing you can better address how.
You asked the question, "why do little girls do this?" -- Because the big girls they live with allow them to! I have seen so many moms pretend they don't notice when their child is being nasty to other children. Why was the grandmother ASKING the little girl to be nice to your daughter? Why wasn't she using this moment to explain how to treat other people, and how she would like to be treated? And possibly TELLING her how to treat other children. Yes, many adults forget that they actually are supposed to tell children when they are behaving in an inappropriate (or mean) manner. When adults are passive to these behaviors they are giving tacit consent. I am so sorry that your daughter had to experience this at the age of three. Unfortunately, those 5 year olds are the 12 year olds of the future. I, personally, don't think it would be such a terrible thing for you to say, if the situation arises again, something to the effect of, "I know that hurts your feelings - that's why Mommy and Daddy always remind you to be nice to others - because I know a nice girl like you would NEVER want to hurt anyone's feelings." If you're feeling particularly Momma Bear - don't be afraid to add, "Unfortunately, not all mommies do that."
Yes I do think that girls can be mean. Boys can have their "moments" but I find that girls grouped together can become mean very quickly. Mean and bossy :)
Anyway, 3 is too young to be bullied. And that is what is happening on a 5 year old level. I would as suggested stay in class and see what is happening. Ask the teacher as well and see what her attitude is. If your not comfortable with her reaction pull her out and seek something somewhere else.
C.
It is not just little girls. The problem is kids are honest they don't think of what they say as being mean. We were at the park and a 5 year old told my 3 year old he talks like a baby because he couldn't say a certain word right. All the dance studios around me have class from sept-june then have their recital so the kids have more then enough time to learn the steps and they usually have a teenager do the routine with them so they have someone to watch. Also in my area when they are very young they are grouped by age not skill 3 and 4, 5 and 6, unless they are very advanced then they will bump them up. Perhaps since her recital is not far away I would wait it out but then maybe look for a different studio if you daughter enjoys dance.
