I was diagnosed with melanoma back in 2003. At the time I wasn't married, had no children...so I really didn't think it was too big of a deal. Although I was still scared. Especially when I had to go thru all the testing to see if it spread, and then the surgery to have it removed. I was lucky, it did not spread to any other organs, and they were able to remove it all in the surgery. It was on my upper left arm, so in addition to removing the melanoma, they removed my lymphnodes on that side thru my arm pit. So I have two pretty ugly scars from the surgery, and the lymphnodes being removed still causes pain in my underarm to this day. The fact that I had melanoma became more scary to me when I had my first son. I started fearing constantly that I would have a recurrence. And the reality of the seriousness of it all really set in. I wouldn't always go to my 6 month skin checks with my dermatologist, but now I do. And I am terrified every time I go for a skin check. They say that after 5 years your chances of a recurrence are greatly reduced. I am at the 6 year mark. However, due to an increase in migraines, and an unknown onset of abdominal issues, my dermatologist ordered a full slew of tests to make sure I wasn't having a recurrence. It IS terrifying!! And you have to live with the fear for the rest of your life. All tests have come back normal. But I agree with you, it is very scary. I've just learned though that instead of sitting back and waiting for something to happen, I need to be more proactive. There is no way I'm going to let another spot on my body turn into melanoma. I have several pre-cancerous spots on my body removed since the melanoma at my 6 mo. skin checks. Especially with this last scare...thinking I was having a recurrence and that maybe it spread to another organ. My son is 3 years old and all I can think about is him...I need to be around as long as possible for him, so I'm taking better care of myself. I religiously use sunscreen, as high of an spf that I can find. I apply when it's sunny, when it's cloudy, summer, and winter. I also make sure my son, who unfortunately inherited my fair skin, has sunscreen on whenever we are outdoors. It is scary, but I also believe knowledge is power...make sure you study your body and are aware of anything odd that shows up on it. Know what you are looking for. Do a lot of research on melanoma. And find a good dermatologist and stick with them. You are not alone! Your dermatologist is a GREAT resource...if you ever have questions, concerns, or just want to talk out your fears with them. They are the ones that understand the seriousness of it. Not sure if I helped or not, but I do understand what you are going thru. Stay positive!