Mental Health

I did. I had depression and when my son was two, I had enough. I went to a couselor and it did some good but it was not enough. I finally went on Wellbutrin and it is like I am a differnt person. I am myself again and I love it.

I was really against going on meds and went though everything possible to not have to. But there is nothing wrong with it.

K.

My daughter is 18 months old and I recently went on zoloft. I too am very anti-medication, I had a totally natural childbirth and have been putting off getting help for my depression because I thought I could deal with it myself through excercise and diet. I finally said 'Enough!" I just wasn't myself and I want my daughter to know me as a happy person. I have not had any side effects with the zoloft and am feeling much better. I am also in Therapy which is really helping as well. Like the other response that equated it to not taking insulin if you are diabetic, I totally agree. Plus remember that you do not need to be on anti-depressants forever. My psychiatrist recommended it to help me through therapy and dealing with this rough time. She said I would feel lighter and be more able to deal with the stresses I was facing. She also mentioned that if I was the only one involved, it would be ok for me to work through it on my own but since there is a child involved that changes everything. Statistically, children of depressed mothers show more signs of depression and don't get as much eye contact and nurturing as children of non-depressed mothers. Not to scare you, because I feel that my daughter and I have a very close affectionate relationship despite my depression but it was something to keep in mind. The point is, it is very important to treat the depression. Definately start with a counselor and find someone you really connect with. Good luck!

M.,

I had a depression after my baby was born, and I didn't want to take pills, and was able to restore my energy level and my happiness level without them. I started to have regular massages, and also had acupuncture, and it was giving me great energy for at least one week after that. A depression is not something that goes away just like that, it takes a while, but I was definitely getting better. Also a regular non-strenuois exercise will help, like yoga, or long walks. In my case, I had a slow progress, but one year after that I could definitely say I am not depressed anymore.

I also like some of the suggestions from the other moms, like checking the thiroid level, I would do that.

One other thing I did was I went on a low-carb diet, and that meant excluding all the sugars and bad stuff from my diet and eating more meat and greens and veggies and milk products, and that too made a huge difference on my energy level, although it takes some time to work - I was on the diet for two months, and also lost 20 pounds (my last baby pounds :)).

Good luck to you :)

Take if it from someone who also did not want to go on medication to treat their depression, if your physician feels you have true depression do NOT leave it untreated. I can't stress to you how important that you not ignore it and hope it goes away. Hindsight I had depression from the time I was 15 years old, although I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my early twenties. I refused medication and therapy and instead self-medicated with alcohol and partying. My depression manifested itself into a syndrome called Fibromyalgia. And since this is a pre-existing condition I can not get treatment for it. I live everyday in great pain because the depression and anxiety did something to my brain that has caused it to short circut. Please understand that untreated mental illnesses (yes I know that is a terrible label) will become physical problems. Please get some sort of help, I would hate for anyone to have to live in the kind of pain I do.

Yes, I went through the same thing and after a lot of "getting over myself" I went to a counselor who I've now been seeing for about a year and a half. It took me a really long time to accept the idea of taking antidepressants as well, but I finally decided to try them when I still needed help getting through the everyday battles of anxiety and depression. I started with 20mg of Prozac which caused my libido to become nonexistent and thus created a new source of anxiety and depression! :) I am now on 150mg of Wellbutrin XL and really love it.

I know that I am a better mom because I am a happier mom. Really, I knew I needed to get help BECAUSE of how much I love my kids and they deserved to have the best mom I could be. Don't wait if you're already at this point. Your child is only going to be 18 mos once - be at your best for it. Many people go to counselling for everyday "maintenance"... it doesn't make you crazy or any less of a good mom.

The thing that finally pushed me into accepting that I needed to get help and that it was nothing short of stupid to keep going through this alone was that the priest from my family church committed suicide suddenly after silently struggling with his own depression. About a week later, I was sitting on the bathroom floor crying about SOMETHING and I went through my litany of why I didn't need to get help. "I'm fine! I'm just being stupid and need to get over it! I would never do anything to hurt my kids! I would never hurt myself!" ...and then clear, as if he was standing in the room with me, I heard my priest say, "Yeah, neither would I". Through his death, he may have saved my life!

So don't wait. It is as much of a disease as any other. Nobody would tell someone with cancer to just "get over it" or just relax. This is really no different.

With my second and third child I have experienced PPD. I was on Prozac for a year with my second-born and now I've been on Zoloft for about 3 months or so. I'm still trying (with my doctor) to find the correct dose for me, as things aren't back to "normal" yet. I am, however doing much better in my daily life.

The last thing that I wanted to do was take medication, especially considering that I was (and am) nursing. But after I struggled to deal with the depression on my own for several months after my second child was born, it became obvious that I couldn't do it alone. I had reached a point where I just could not function normally. I would sleep all day and I was always sad, I'd put my oldest in her room and leave my (then) youngest in her playpen and I wouldn't respond to any but their basic needs.

I know better now. After seeing the dramatic change that the medication did, I was much more accepting of it when I realized I was beginning to have the same problems as before once again.

If you wait too long, it will get worse. I'm not saying at all that you absolutely need medication, but I am saying that it's not a terrible thing. They can even find something that is safe for both you and your baby (if you are nursing).

Good luck! If you need someone to talk to, let me know. (I also find that keeping a journal helps me out a lot)

Have you had your thyroid checked since having your child? Being pregnant can effect it's function. If it is underactive it can make you very tired and feel sad.

It looks like you've received a lot of good suggestions, but I'll add my two cents anyway.
The fact that you recognize there's a problem and are taking steps to uncover what's causing the depression is great. I had a bout with depression back in '04 - I'd get the blues from time to time, but this was a situation (felt more like a nervous break down) that I couldn't manage on my own. I tried Zoloft...it just made me lethargic and numb, but didn't alleviate my sadness. I was taking an oral contraceptive at the time along with a prescription statin and anti-histamine and was experiencing frequent mood swings and severe migraines, which were not typical for me. I was also dealing with a parent's illness, a husband who was finishing law school and working too many hours at a very stressful job. The pressure from being the sole provider and feeling that I HAD to stay in my job made me terribly anxious, which lead to insomnia, which also was a contributing factor to the depression.
To start with, I stopped taking all medication, including the Zoloft, and felt tremendous relief. I suspect that half the problem was the oral contraceptive, which was in conflict with my hormones as I was diagnosed with perimenopause shortly thereafter. But the other half was definitely situational given the tremendous stress I was under.
Some big changes have taken place since that period. As I went off the pill to relieve the migraines and mood swings, I got pregnant! My husband finished school and was more emotionally available to me and after the baby was born, I left my job and stayed home for about nine months. It was a struggle financially, but it allowed me to regain my balance mentally and emotionally. I recently returned to work, but have set very strict rules about how many hours I will work. I no longer log-in once I get home and once the baby goes to bed, so do I. My husband is also able to help out more so I don’t feel I’m carrying the weight of our finances and the household on my shoulders.
You may find that there are several things that are contributing to your depression, both internal and external. It may take a while to find out what that combination is, but it’s a good journey to take. Sometimes depression is a wake-up call that forces us to re-exam our lives. You might want to reconsider your busy schedule. Sometimes less is more.
Best wishes to you and your family.

I developed Post Partum Depression immediately after our baby was born. It has not gone away and he is 20 months. I go to counseling and it is a wonderful help. But I also take Lexapro, which is a Godsend. I also tried Zoloft but had more side effects. Generally people tolerate Lexapro well. Sexual side effects went away when I tried Lexapro rather than Zoloft. It is important for you and your family to get the help you need. Good luck with this...I know it is a tough road.

hi, i have been on 2 antidepressants for 9 years. it has sorely effected my sex life and contributed highly to my weight gain. I just discovered EMpower by truehope I have been tapering off my drugs and let me tell you withdrawal is way tough (at least off effexor) anyway, i am looking forward to so much and NEVER being on drugs again. i have just a handful of days till i will never take the meds again and the empower of which is natural vitamens are totally working for me. it took me a few years to have the guts to try it but wow i am so glad i did. just wanted to let you know it exists. you may want to check it out
G. Jones

I just saw on tv last night that like 30% of ppl on antidepressants aren't really depressed they are sad or going through a rough spot but don't actually have the true signs for depression. You may want to keep that mind.

I also hate taking medications and donot want to become dependant on anything. I think to many doctors just write out prescriptions to shut up their patients sometimes. Especially with depression and ADHD. There are ALOT of ppl who need these but it's handed out more than it should.

I've had some times where I've been down and have seeked help and couseling and have been told if you can bring yourself out of being down or depressed your ok and that it's normal.

I would try and make some lifestyle changes. Try and make your life a little less stressful, get some exercise or go for a walk, sit in the sunshine(if we ever get any around here), and do something for yourself and if you feel better you may not need meds. That's what I do. I usually snap right out of it.

Although I don't have children, I have gone through a depression and it was recommended that I go on meds, but I'm totally against that. I was also smoking (a little) at the time, so I wanted to make sure my lungs could "feel it", so I decided to start jogging. I worked up to about 3 miles comfortably and I stopped smoking, went from a size 14 to a size 8, and got rid of my depression! I've heard jogging releases endorphins that meds try to mimick, but there's nothing better than the real thing. "The body is healed by the One who created it." God bless.

Before going on meds, you might want to check your thyroid levels. Your symptoms seem to be very similar to mine when my OB tested my thyroid level after the birth of my first child. What I thought might have been a slight case of depression, was actually post-partum thyroiditis. I developed this again after the birth of my second son, and have been able to manage it with medication. What a difference.

Just a thought. I hope this helps. Hang in there.

I've been clinically depressed for about the last ten years. I've done everything I could think of to not take meds (exercising regularly, managing my diet, councelling, support groups, etc) but in the end, they're the only thing that really works for me. I have different triggers for when it hits me, but my birth control I was taking was a MAJOR one (so now I'm using non-hormonal birth control).

As my midwife pointed out when I was pregnant with my third child, if you were diabetic, would you refuse to take your insulin? Probably not. It's the same thing as taking anti-depressants, just without the stygma.

Do the councelling, that was a huge help for me. It's nice to just be able to talk sometimes. If that still isn't getting you to where you and your doctor feel you should be, give the meds a try. There are many different kinds out there for all different levels of depression, and it probably won't last forever. Keep an open mind and give it a shot. I hope things get better soon. :)

Yes, I have but I dont think it has anything to do with my child. I think it has more to do with my husband and feeling stuck in the marriage. I took medication at a point but it made me worse. I started seeing a counselor, it helps if you can afford it. I would recommend it because sometimes it just helps just having someone to talk to and you really dont want to burden your friends or family with all your depressing problems or feelings. But if you have a friend who really cares enouph to listen and not get sick of you than great, but personally, I think it gets draining to hear someones depressions all the time. Maybe you should have your husband go with you - if he cares enouph he'll want to help you.
I feel for you.
K.

M.

Before you go on meds please consider everything you have on your plate. An 18 month old and a full time job is way enough without those home based businesses as well. Sleep deprivation and stress are major causes of depression. If I were you I'd cut back on some of the things you're doing professionally and utilize the extra time you have to enjoy your family and your life.

LOL
K.

As some of the other people in here I too have had issues with depression. After my youngest now almost 4, I had really bad ppd. When I finally decided to go to the dr was when I was so bad that all I wanted to do was take the kids to grandmas and hit the road and not look back. After being on Prozac and then Zoloft also I can to realize that I was gaining weight and my depression and mood swings were not getting any better. I do not know that if I tried to hard to get better right away and that the thought in the back of my mind was that I was labeled. I then decided to just take a walk and a multi vitamin. I know that it seems simple, but that is what works for me. I will say that sometimes I do get bummed out usually when I can not figure out how I am going to pay all the bills, but that is when I usually call a friend that can understand and then I vent and I feel great afterwards.

I honestly think that you are stretching yourself too far and it's depressing when you don't feel like you are giving your whole to any one thing, especially your family or child. I have 4 young children and I used to have an ebay business. I felt like I always had to be at the computer listing things and getting things ready to go. I started to feel depressed because I would think "is this what I should be doing right now?" and it wasn't. Your child needs you more than ever right now and if you aren't being the Mom that you think you should be, because of other obligations, that can wear on you bigtime. Try to spend more time having fun with you child and see if that helps you mood. I also agree with the exercise thing because fresh air and exercise can make a big difference in how you feel about yourself and the world around you.
Good luck to you,
J.

A counselor is definitely the first step let them decide whether or not to put you on anti depressants. They are usually more qualified and maybe you only need someone to talk to that isnt in your every day life. If that doesnt help give the meds a try. There is nothing wrong with taking them if you need them. I was diagnosed with depression about 4 years before my daughter was born. I tried everything before taking meds but that is the only thing that has helped. I currently take Cymbalta and I feel like myself again. Dont worry about what others will think, they are not in your shoes so they have no right to judge.

All the advice that has been typed is great. Let me add my 2 cents. First, think hard before dropping any of your current activities. By stopping doing what you may really enjoy, you then sit around more and the depression can get worse. (Not always though... sometimes the stressful activities ARE the problem!) Also, given it sounds like between wife, mom, and working at home, you probably don't go out much. Check out ECFE (Early Childhood Family Education). You join a weekly class with other moms like yourself, spend part of the time playing with your child (It is great fun to see them interact with other kids, and you get to do messy crafts, and not worry about the clean up! Then for the other half of the class, you get to go talk with other parents about all different topics... potty training, discipline, the best parks, anything! It is REALLy worth the time for so many reasons!

-R.

Hi M.!!

I'm so sorry to hear about your depression!!

I suffer from it as well and have been able to manage without meds. The first thing I did was cut all refined/processed sugar (and chemical sugar substitutes), white flour, and processed food. If you can't afford organic, at least switch to fresh fruits and vegetables. Find a local butcher that doesn't use steroids and antibiotics in their meat; usually their prices will rival a grocery store. The first week without sugar and substitutes was really hard (I was addicted to Diet Coke) but there is a product called stevia that is all natural and much better for you. Also, if you crave something sweet, eat fruit. I increased my water intake and tea.

It takes a good 30 days to get it all out of your system, but it will work. And you will find you have more energy as well. You would really be amazed at what cutting that out of your diet will change. Increasing your B vitamins can help tremendously as well.

The other thing I do is pray for God to pull me out of the pit of depression every day. And I remind myself that He loves me. EVERY DAY. When I don't, I can feel it settling back in.

Good luck!

Hello M....
Your story sounds a lot like mine! I am also married with a 17 month old, working full time, and have a home-based business. I have been extremely on edge and stressed out, wondering if I have taken on too much. There is never enough time with my little boy and absolutely no time to do anything relaxing. I can't remember the last book I read, or even a magazine for that matter. My relationship with my husband is also suffering. Since we are both so busy and stretched so thin, each of us thinks we are doing more than the other, which causes resentment, and so on and so forth.

I am wondering if you have taken on too much. I guess my suggestion would be to let go of some stuff. If you don't like taking medications, maybe a therapist can help you with some techniques to ensure good mental health. In the end though, if medication is what it takes, take it! Good luck to you M....Maybe I should take some of my own advice....