Thanks to all who answered my post and encouraged me ..those who haven't here's my situation...I have 3 special need kids and I stay home...I found out that my husband of 16 yrs is spending money on escorts and massage parlor ( saw emails )...I cannot blame him because we weren‘t together " technically" together past 5 years as he abused me physically and mentally ,we decided to stay for kids sake..I was contemplating divorce once I get my green card( I can't without it) .what angers me is that I spend sleepless nights thinking about my kid s future and here my DH spending on prostitutes every other month.. I could have used $2000 which he usually spend for my sons therapy or my daughters music lessons which I Thot we cannot afford.
I didn't confront him coz all I know it ll be disaster instead I need to get hold of the finance till my green card comes...I need save money separately from our bank( a/c in our both name) but donno how ..if I have my personal a/c he ll come to know for tax purposes ...should I open credit union or safe locker to save the money ??? Please advice
Thanks Momof1 for your reply...I don't think you saw my previous post...my husband didn't sleep with his collegeau he s just spending money on escorts but when asked for vacation he can't afford ....that was my complain...I cannot blame him for using escorts because we weren't together inspite of living under same roof so he's entitled to do whatever he wants. My worry is the money part...and yes even after 16.years I don't have green card yet ( we applied very late and wth bad economy it went slow ,we both r immigrants ).I want to st ay because my country cannot provide the medical facilities for my 3 special need kids hence the wait ( u can call me selfish ) . our bank a/c is in both our name so taking money out is NOT stealing...
sweetie, you keep posting here asking for advice, but this situation requires competent legal counsel. go get that TODAY. and come back here for moral support.
khairete
S.
Geez us lady. You need more help than a mommy forum can provide. Go see both an immigration attorney ANF a divorce attorney to get advice applicable to your situation.
You're both immigrants?
Does your husband have a green card?
Are the kids immigrants too or are they US citizens?
Is anyone in your family here legally?
What is your country of origin and what are their health programs like?
You need to talk to an immigration lawyer.
I'm not sure if having special needs kids will help you or hurt you in obtaining a green card.
This (immigration/divorce/special needs all together) is complicated and way more than anyone on a parenting site can help you with.
Go back to your home country. Your family and support is there.
I'm seeing red. That remark of the poster accusing you of STEALING from your husband is uncalled for.
This man cares more about himself than his children. You need to protect yourself and your kids and put money aside.
What that poster is ignoring is that the income from this man's income is supposed to be to take care of his family. It is NOT HIS MONEY. It's the FAMILY'S money. If he cuts you off from his income and leaves you, he will starve you and your children.
You have every right to protect you and your children. Your marriage IS effectively over, but you still have to take care of these kids.
I'll say again that you need to talk to a lawyer about HOW to get your ducks in a row. You can get a lock box at a bank and put cash in it - it's not like you get much interest in a bank account anyway. That way you don't have to put anything down on your taxes. You need copies of all his financial records, all the company benefits, including medical and retirement. You need copies of the tax returns. Get everything together and show it to the attorney when you go in.
The family money is NOT something you can steal. You have a right to take care of you and your children. Protect yourselves.
I AM glad that you are seeing that being mad because he is getting sex elsewhere doesn't help you. (It's very normal for you to be mad about it, but doesn't help.) Being angry about all the money he's spending is something you have EVERY RIGHT to be angry about.
A marriage that no longer works is NOT a fraudulent marriage.
If you keep money in a non interest bearing account there is no reason it would need to be reported for taxes. They don't even send out a 1099.
I'm so confused. I've read on your posts that you have triplets but then on another post you wrote that you have kids (ages 5-7). You are in an abusive marriage but planning expensive vacations with your abuser one of which was cruise to Mexico. If Mexico is your home country and you are here illegally and go back to Mexico you will not be allowed back into U.S. You do realize that, right? Back in Feb. you wrote that you were going to take paraprofessional exam, which is great but without a work visa it will be pointless. My husband is an immigration attorney and I am a former domestic violence counselor so I understand the dynamics happening here but something just isn't sitting right with me. If this situation is legit then you need to read through all of the advice you've been given over the last couple of months. You are given the same good tips over and over again. Contact a DV shelter. Contact an immigration attorney (which you should already have if you are in the green card process) and make sure they have VAWA experience. After reading your old posts I can see that you have good job experience so once your immigration issues are sorted out you can work on employment. I still feel like something is "off" here.
