We recently moved to a new home that has an area that I can use as a playroom. I plan on watching kids again this summer, so it's perfect! The problem is.... the playroom is right behind the living room, separated only by a white metal half-wall. All we want in there is a train table, bookshelf, table and a toy box (oh and the fishtank). All white, and a few primary colors.
Here's the issue...
My MIL bought me this Curious George sign from Borders. It's the kind of sign that would need chalk paint for and it's large and someting that I would NOT want or need anywhere. I appreciate the gesture, but she spent $35 on this thing and didn't even ask me if it was something that I wanted or needed. This is my "mother's day gift." She was so proud of it and even said that "it's something that you only find once in a lifetime!" Oh....... I DO NOT WANT this thing!!!! I thought about putting it on the patio and letting the kids use it for chalk, but I don't know if she'll be offended that I don't use it in the playroom. She's a VERY outspoken lady and will totally let you know if you aren't using her gift in the right way. I'm trying to stay peacefull with her right now. Lol.
Let me first say that I absolutely appreciate that she was thinking of me and I really do appreciate the gesture. She just knows how anal I am about how I decorate and has been buying me weird random stuff for years. She asks for gift lists, but then buys nothing on them. I had my daughter's room done in Noah's ark about 8 years ago (my kid is 10 now) and it took me telling her for about 5 years that that was the theme of my daugher's room and not MY obsession before she quit buying ME Noah's ark purses, statues, ornaments..... This was an actual sign from Borders that has the borders logo on it that you would have hung from the ceiling to promote the area. No joke. They are closing the store and she thought it was cool. It was nice of her, just odd.
Keep it where you want it, and when she comes over, move it to the playroom. After she leaves, move it back.
I do understand that you don't like the gift. Where I come from, we say thank you to people that give us gifts and appreciate the THOUGHT that went into it and the fact that someone was THINKING about us. I never was told that someone should call me and ask me if the gift they wanted to give me was acceptable to me. I have always thought that the nicest gifts are ones that people come up with on their own instead of being told what to buy. That means that they put some THOUGHT into it. BTW, I also think it was sweet of her to buy YOU something for Mother's Day. Maybe it should have been the other way around?
I think you should be grateful for a mother-in-law who was THOUGHTFUL! It sounds like she thought you would really like it! It really does not sound that hideous. And the kids will probably LOVE it! Put it up in the toy room and be happy! There are much bigger problems that you will encounter in the world.....
After a few days of watching kids in your home, tell her, "Oh, I'm so sad! One of the kids broke it." And then return it and get store credit from Borders.
Could it be a special treat for the kids at HER house?
I don't know why but everyone's attitude on here makes me sad. When you buy someone a gift, aren't you excited? Don't you think they'll just love it? It doesn't sound like your MIL did this to torment you, it sounds like she did it thinking you'd just love it. Now I'm not sayin you have to love it or use it in the way she wants. I love the patio idea using the chalk dust excuse! You know my MIL bought me the ugliest robe on earth (looked like one she would wear, bless her heart) but the fact that she honestly was thinking of me? That's worth it. There are a whole lot worse MIL's out there than one that buys you gifts you don't want. Suck it up, be gracious and realize someday YOU will be the MIL.
I didn't read the other answers, but well yes you have to keep it. When the weather is nice, why not put it on the patio? And the rest of the time put it in some obscure place where it isn't annoying you. I'm sorry but I have to say this, she is really trying and there aren't a lot of kind mother in laws like that. My own mother never so much as helped babysit so I am always envoius of people in these situations.
IS this something that stands alone on it's own or is it just a flat picture that you can pull out for the kids to draw on then put it back away behind a piece of furniture or something? Don't get all worked up over this....figure out a way for the kids to be able to use it and enjoy it from time to time...and then put it away...out of sight...when you aren't using it.
OR you can use this as the beginning of speaking up and letting your MIL know what you need vs what you don't need. My oldest daughter does this...sometimes it is done kindly...sometimes it could be done a little bit more nicely....but she lets me know what she wants in her house and what she doesn't. I had to decide that I appreciated this guidance...and start "thinking like her" when I find something that I think my grandson just CAN"T live without!!! Why don't you have a conversation with your MIL about your "vision" of what you want to do with the play area? If she doesn't KNOW what you want...or what your goal is...then you can't blame her for not being in line with it!! Give her some ideas of what you DO want or need....my daughter is always open to craft supplies...things for the kids kitchen ( wood items not plastic).....give her some guidance...let her spoil the grandchildren...within the boundaries that you have laid out for her. Do it in a kind and loving way and I bet she will appreciate it!!!
Well it's YOUR gift, so you may do with it as you please. I'd let the kids use it on your patio. If she says anything about it not being in the playroom, I'd tell her that you don't want it in there due to all the dust from the chalk. (My daughter has a chalkboard/dry erase board in her bedroom and believe me, the chalk gets on everything.) I have a MIL who does the same thing, only she gives me decorating gifts for the rest of my house, not just the kids. We have completely different decorating styles - she is very country, and I'm more traditional/antiques. She offered to give us a giant farming "pitchfork" to hang on our fireplace. I told my husband - NO WAY! :) Good luck, pick your battles, and don't sweat the small stuff.
Use it outside. It will be fine, Surely she will understand that chalk inside will ruin the carpet. She meant well. Her intentions were good. She thought she was helping you find a unique piece for your business. Appreciate it for what it is.
My MIL does stuff like this occasionally, Sometimes we are honest and just go with her to exchange it (hoping she will learn our taste) and sometimes (when she is overly excited like your MIL) we find an alternative use for it. She may have called it your Mother's Day gift so you wouldn't feel bad about the money spent.
Honey I know this is one annoying gift and you hate the thought of it, but just let it go. It isn't worth it. It's just a Curious George sign. Put it up for a short time and then put it in storage for a "keepsake."
Put it on the patio. If she states to you the better place for it. Tell her you wanted it in a place it would get more utilized. And leave it at that.
Oh my goodness I know how that feels!!
My MIL is the same way!
When things like that happen to me, I tell my hubby to handle it haha
I'm the one who is always having to handle everything else with his mom, so he can take those times.
Like We just bought our 1st house...it's a 4bdrm...
So master bdrm, 2 kids rooms, and an extra...
According to my MIL that is HER room. She started rambling on and on about how she is going to decorate HER room in my house. It actually gets me kinda pissed.
I try to just ignore it, or have my husband tell her that it is the GUEST room in OUR house. Not her house.
She will listen to him. Not me.
Honestly, I'd put it in the playroom for awhile. You don't have to keep it forever.
If she gives you small things you don't like, thank her, and quietly put them in a drawer.
Consider giving your husband a "wish list" for future events and ask him to let his mom in on what is on the list.
My MIL is the same way. ughhh... so frustrating to me that she doesn't seem to care about who I am, only what she would want me to be.
I would just put it out on the patio if you want or put it in the garage, I don't feel that anyone has an obligation to use a gift. It's a gift, you either like it or you don't. Good luck!
My MIL does this! I learned a long time ago to just say "Thank you," and do what I want. I used to feel very guilty and burdoned. Then I realized, how she chooses to spend her money is not my responsibility. I try to be very appreciative, whether I like the gift or not, and then I do what makes sense for us. She used to ask us right away if we were using her gift the way she wanted to. We were kindly truthful, "There really isn't room right now. Maybe when the kids are older we'll put it ... " After awile she stopped asking. She was getting similar answers (though not quite as polite) from her own daughter, so she started to realize that maybe she should try to get us something we would like and not just something she thinks would be perfect.
I think the relationship is the most important thing, but I also think you shouldn't feel bullied into "loving" anything she buys. Do what you want to do, I the nisest possible way. Hopefully she'll appreciate your effort.
Assuming her intentions were good, I would talk to her about it. Explain that stuff seems to multiply with small kids, and that you have enough. Keep the gift, be thankful and use it as you see fit (patio is fine). I would just find a way to set expectations in a nice way. Maybe if she wants to get something, set up a college fund for the kid(s) and she can contribute. Much more value in the long run. I'd let her have some freedom at birthday times : ). Good luck. My MIL has a habit of buying us art - pictures, prints, statures... I finally told her how much I appreciate the thought, but that it's a personal kind of thing - to pick someone elses artwork or home furnishings, and would prefer more practical gifts... .that's just me. She is outspoken too - but very good at direct feedback and I appreciate that very much.
There is nothing wrong with you putting it on the patio. If she says anything, tell her how much you LOVE it, & how well it works on the patio.
put it in your childs room if you dont want it in the living room, or put it up for a few months.......I think it was a nice gesture...you got nothing on my ex mil=)
Did she intend for you to use it as a sign, or did she intend for children to play with it?
Say thank you, and just hold on to it until you can think of a way to use it. If she asks why it is not put up yet, just say you havent gotten to it yet - havent bought the paint, etc.
I have the same problem with my MIL. She wants to be thoughtful and buy me things the thinks I would like. At first, I was annoyed because it ended up with her giving me things I dont like. I'm from a family where people say, "What do you want for your birthday?" And buy you exactly what you asked for - they dont agonize over the "perfect gift" and you get what you really want/need.
I have sort of come around now, and am thankful that she thinks of me, and wants to buy me things she thinks I would like.
So, my advice, be gracious, say thank you, and try to use it in a way that wont drive you crazy. In a year or two, you might decide that the sign is really cool or useful...
Can you tell her you don't like it with humor? My MIL does this to us a lot and luckily my husband and I have a similar simple taste for decorating. We have a good relationship with her so if my MIL brings something tacky she bought over, my husband can come out and tell her how hideous it is and somehow everyone gets a chuckle and no feelings are hurt. Depending on personalities though that may or may not be the way to go.
Ugh. Sounds like my MIL but she buys my kids ridiculous things that we have no room for and are just silly! We live in a TINY house and she comes over one day with this HUGE desk and chair set for my son, who wasnt even two! I finally put it in storage, and told her while it was a nice gift, we simply dont have the room for it! I hate when you feel bullied into using something you simply dont want. I would just firmly but nicely tell her it's not something you can use in the playroom. But the kids will enjoy it on the patio, If she gets mad, oh well. She'll get over right? lol Good luck!
Can you hang it on the metal wall facing into the play room so it can't be sceen unless you are in the playroom?
It's YOUR home. She needs to respect that! You could buy something for her that you KNOW she will hate and tell her what room you bought it for and that when you saw it you KNEW it was just MEANT for her!
Taste of her own medicine! See your gift ends up where you bought it for.
Of course it's nice that she wanted to recognize you on Mother's Day. It is generous of her to buy a gift. BUT, I agree that not all gifts are useful or even acceptable. I too come from a family where we tell eachother what we want for birthdays/holidays, etc, ensuring that you get something you wanted or needed. It doesn't make it any less generous or thoughtful if someone buys you what you asked for. My in-laws don't always work the same way, and I have received gifts for myself and my daughter that we don't always need or like. I still am very gracious and use any opportunity to communicate our wishes when asked. Does your MIL ask you or your kids what you want when it is gift giving time? If so, I would be specific and thank her for her interest.
My MIL is similar, but perhaps worse. We already had a travel system. She insisted on getting us an uppa baby vista, and a city mini as well. She asked in advance, I declined. She insisted and got them anyway. This was very generous on her part. But really, in a 2 bed apartment in NYC with no storage, I don't have room in my life for 3 strollers.
BTW, she also unpacked them and assembled them for us so we couldn't return them. She means well, I am sure your MIL does too. I really felt trampled all over at the time.
I've asked her to please clear any large purchases with us in the future (either expensive or space consuming), and to please respect our wishes in this regard.
Good luck.
