Mission Trip Funding for Babysitter

If you don't want to give her more money and you don't want to ask her what happened to the first donation you gave her, tell her that with this economy ,you have no extra money for anything.

If it were me, I would just ignore the letters, unless you really do want to give her some more money. At least she was honest enough to tell you when her original plans changed, but I probably would not keep giving her money over and over again.

If you have not used her for sitting in a long while, then why would you need to give her money again for another trip that may or may not happen. NO. She has found that you are an easy pick for money. Ignore the note for money and just sent her a card wishing her will on her trip.

Ahhhh...teenagers. I guess you have to decide whether or not she has matured a little or not. If she has and you feel the group she is traveling with is dong God's will, than please pray and see what God would have you give. If you feel she hasn't grown up at all, than possibly you could give to the church she is traveling with in her name. Than if she chooses not to go, they can apply your funds to another in the group. Either way, please don't allow anger or bitterness to direct your decision or your feelings toward her. She is just a kid in so many ways. Making decisions with confidence and following through with your plans, are lessons to be learned. Lets hope she learned from her last experience and that she will allow God to use her for his glory this Summer. And if you choose not to give financially, maybe you could send her a nice note letting her know that you will be praying for her!

Wow I really hate to hear someone being so careless with offering monies. I think it would be a good thing to let her know that asking for money without ever giving a report of how the last money was sent is not acceptable. I don't know if I would ask for the money back or not, it would probably depend on how much it was. But I definitely think you should not give this young lady any more money and let her know that in actuality if she did not use the money for a mission trip she actually misrepresented herself and took people's hard earned money. Hearing it bluntly might hurt her feelings a little but that is cycle she has to break and you will be doing her a favor by giving her a reality check. Sorry that happened to you!! I just hate seeing God's money mishandled!

If you really WANT to help, go to the church she attends and give the money to them. That way you are helping a cause but not specifically her. Or give to your own church youth group.

It's obvious that you have a good heart or you wouldn't even be asking about this. Quite simply, you are not under any obligation to give her any money. Especially in light of the way your generous donation was handled before. My advice would be to first of all pray about it and then you and your husband can make a decision on whether or not you want to make another donation. God bless!

This is just my opinion, but I think you should consider the money given 2 years ago as money you gave to a mission trip...regardless of how she used it...that was your heart. Most of the time when you donate for a mission trip, the money goes to the organization organizing the trip. If she doesnt go, the organization will hold onto the money and apply it to her next trip.

Since this isnt someone you know (or trust very much, it sounds like). I would just ignore the current letter. Unless you feel led to give to the group she is a part of and then just make sure your check is made out to them in support of her (you get a tax deduction that way too).

Most of the time when someone is raising money for a mission trip, they send those letters to everyone they know...not expecting everyone to respond. They also usually give you the opportunity to support them in prayer, so maybe you could just support her that way, until she shows you she is more responsible.

I am shocked that you sent her money the first time. If she wants money for something she needs to earn it. For example get a baby sitting job and save that money. I dont understand people asking others to fund there events. Since this works I am wondering if I can get people to fund our vacation. Sorry for the sarcasim I just dont get it.

When she decided not to take the first trip to which you donated she should have returned the money. I would ignore this request.

If you haven't had any contact with this girl in this amount of time, you shouldn't feel like you should have to give her money for another mission trip she may or may not end up taking. When people send these requests out, typically they go through their address book and send a letter to every Tom, Dick, and Harry listed.

I agree with other posts, kids these days should not be expecting a handout (politely disguised as calling it a donation). Kids should be made to work for the money they earn. When I was in high school band earning money for trips, people would hire us to do odd jobs, or we would have car washes, bake sales, etc.

I would send her a polite letter telling her how wonderful it is that she will be going on this trip and all the wonderful work she will do. Then tell her that you really hope the money you sent two years ago will help her make her goal and that you would love to hear about her adventure when she returns. If she did go last year she will hopefully write back, if not it doesn't mean she went but it is still a gentle supportive reminder that you won't be sending more money unless you hear about her trip.

Yes, you can tactfully inquire about the money you sent two years ago. Usually, mission trips are sponsored by some organization like a church. To avoid putting money directly into the individual's hands (and thus losing control over it), donated money should always be given to the sponsoring organization. Then, you will get a donation receipt by that organization, documenting your contribution.

Better be safe than sorry.

Hope this helps!
K.

I'd just send her a letter reminding her to use the money she didn't use for her last mission and apply it to this one, and not give her anymore money.

I think that you have the perfect opportunity to teach this young woman an important lesson about giving and receiving support - especially for a church sponsored trip! I believe that a carefully worded letter explaining that you freely gave the gift for the first mission trip and never received word about how that trip went and it is inappropriate to ask for additional funds when you don't ever know what happened to the original gift. I would also consider sending a copy of your letter to the Church's pastor or youth director!

As someone who has worked in non-profits and led MANY missions trips, I am stunned that she was allowed to raise funds for this trip and then back out. Appropriate protocol would have been to return the funds or donate them to the trip for someone else to use for the purpose for which those funds were raised! Actually, if people wanted to be really picky about it - the sponsoring church could be sued for misuse of gifted funds (did you get a tax receipt for your gift to this non-profit)?

I find it odd that her parents are so picky but they aren't picky about allowing their daughter to "drop out of a trip" and not return people's money and then allow her to continue to ask people for money.

And whatever happened to actually raising money for trips like this instead of just asking for handouts? When I was in High School, our youth group worked ALL year long doing bake sales, car washes, special dinners, etc. in order to raise money for our trips - we would never DREAM of just writing letters and asking for direct handouts. And then we would spend a week in the summer rebuilding houses for needy people and sleeping on a Church basement floor. So, we worked all year to raise money to go and work some more... those trips were some of the best memories I have of High School. What are we teaching our children about how to work toward their dreams and goals? Sorry for the rant.

Good luck.
blessings,
stacy

I would just ignore the letter and not respond to any future letters either. The original request was two years ago. Just forgive and forget and then move on. She'll get the hint.
Good luck and have a blessed day!

No, you definitely should not ask for the money back. However, no response to her request is much better and I think she will get the picture.

Dear Very Generous M.,

This is a lesson learned for each of us reading your post. Because of your post, I will definitely send any donation for a mission trip directly to the Church and include his/her name in the memo. This way, if the trip is cancelled or she decides not to attend, I will be justified in asking the organization for a reimbursement or, if I so choose to donate to the general fund, a request for a donation receipt. I think your money was used for something other than recruiting Christians and is long-gone by now. If you are so inclined to confront the issue, I'd respond with a "nice" note reminding her of your past donation and that you are sure your money will go toward this good cause LOL. If not, I'd simply not respond at all. You are kind to give and please don't let your kind, giving spirit be crushed by this unkind act.

ignore request. she sounds like a flake.

I'd cut your losses and ignore the letter and any future requests.

Ignore the letter. Don't ask for the money back.

Ignore this request....really!

Hi there,
I work and am an active member of a Mission organization. We have a special department for short term trips. All members have to raise their own fincial support for trips but if a trip is cancelled or a visa denied or due to any reason that you are unable to make the trip after you have already received money designated for that trip,it is the person's responsibility to write a letter to all who sent in a financial contribution, explaining the reason for not going on the trip and ask them if they would 1) Like the money back 2)apply the money to the next trip 3) use the money however most needed 4) give the money to another person on the trip who still has need.
They are required by our organization to then wait until all the return designated slips have come in before they decide how the money will be used.It is called financial accountability and to me it sounds like this young lady has failed to communicate with her donors and therefore will make it very difficult for people to just give again as most people want to see commitment before sowing into something or some-one

Really... you would ask her for the money back? Lesson learned. You donated the money, and she used it. One way or another. Next time, definitely donate to the organization. Leave it be, karma will pay her in kind.

Leave it alone...no reply is necessary.

My thoughts on this are similar to those that panhandle. I never know if they use it to feed their families, or go buy liquor; did she go on a mission trip, or just spend it elsewhere. I am a very generous, soft-touch person as a rule ... but learning to be more careful. My pastor gave us this advice... if you have the extra money, it wont take necessities from your family, or you just feel led to give the money... do it. God will hold them accountable for how they spent the money. That has helped me in so many ways... hope it helps you!

Just to put this into perspective, I have a close family member who for the last 4 years has been involved with an international missions organization and has gone with a group of Texas students, not with her church. She too asked for donations and raised quite a bit of money. Each year she has written thank you notes for the donations she received.
This year she decided after she had received donations that she would not be participating, and immediately returned the money to the respective donors explaining her situation and thanked them for their generousity. In my opinion, this response was the right thing to do, especially since she is representing a missions organization. Some people returned the funds to her asking her to donate to the missions organization for their cause. In my opinion this is what your sitter should have done, I would not even consider sending her any money, and would ignore the request. However, to write a polite letter that would remind her of your previous donation could perhaps teach her some manners as well as respect. Good luck.

I have given a handful of donations to eager students going on mission trips... but I have NEVER been asked to write a check directly to the person. It always has gone to the ministry itself.

If this ever happens again, please send the money to the ministry, that way if your person drops out, you can still feel good about your money helping to spread the Word of God.

(By the way... I would gently remind her about the money you donated from the previous time. I think she needs to be held accountable.)

Tell her to apply it to the next trip.