Mom Seeking Advice on 2 Yr Old Litte Girl Humping

My daughter is 4 today and has "wiggled" as Abby put it for a while too. I've been told it is normal. I do tell her she shouldn't do it when others are around. I think I am going to try Abby's advice and explain that she should only do it in her room when she's by herself.

Definitely don't freak out and don't get mad at her...it might make her do it more thinking she's getting away with something.

Good luck. :)

You need to take her to a doctor. She probably has some kind of infection or nervuous disorder. Good luck.

hypersexuality is a common problem with children with a sensory processing disorder. She is calming herslef down very effectivly. Until you find help for her with a physical therapist for the sensory processing problems make sure you are teaching her alternative ways to calm herself. The most calming oragn, other than what she is already doing, is the mouth. Put gum and CHEWY candy in her mouth all the time. Buy her wistles and bubbles to blow outside. Play games with blowing a ball accross the room. Also it is fun to have them try and drink super thick shakes, pudding or jello from a straw or anything else you can think of. The other calming thing you can do is let her play in shaving cream, pudding, peanut butter or marshmellow cream. Tactile play help calm them as well. When I am refering to "calm" I mean to the central nervous system. If there is a time that she masterbates or humps more than other times then make sure you are giving her alternatives before and during these times.

Hang in there, this is more normal than you could imagine.

Completely normal.

My 4 year old has 'wiggled' since she was an infant. Around 2 years old we started explaining to her that it was ok to do it, but she should only do it in her room.
We've discovered it builds on itself; if we can catch her and stop her (by telling her to go to her room if she wants to continue) then we see the frequency decrease. If we don't catch her, or allow her to do it someplace other than her room, the frequency will increase.
We also discovered that there were certain things that set it off, boredom and fatigue being the two biggest. Knowing that was helpful because it helped us control the circumstances that would lead to the behavior.

I will tell you that for the first few weeks after we implemented the 'only in your room' rule we were telling her to stop wiggling constantly, like 30 times a day :)
But it did get better, and now she doesn't do it much at all.

Please take your daughter to her doctor and have her checked. You need to make sure that your daughter is not being sexually abused in any way. I pray that you get an answer soon.

What she needs to learn is WHERE it is ok to do that. All children experiment somehow with those feelings. I would just make sure she knows its ok to do it in her room, alone. Not on anyone's legs, in public, or with another child. I have told my kiddos(2 & 4) that it is ok for them to touch themselves, but not let others touch them. Also, I have told them not to touch others because that is their private area.

It sounds like a doctor and or a child psychologist need to take a crack at it to me. Those things might very well be what's going on. But, it's better to know for sure exactly why and if you can do something for them.

I've never heard of this before, but sounds like she may be bothered by the yeast infection, and is actually trying to realieve the itch or burning, otherwise does she see this behavior on any tv or with pets you have to try and mimic.

This is totally normal. In time she will stop.

It isn't the same for her as it would be if you were doing it, that's what my doctor told me. The pleasure is different.

Just tell her there are things you do in private and not in public and that's one of them. Don't be mad.

You should stop the bubble baths though... they are not good for girls that age as they can get yeast infections easily from them. But you should be able to tell if she has a yeast infection.

My daughter is almost 2 and she has had a similar habit. I truly believe that my daughter is rocking herself to sleep, because it is a motion that she has done in her car seat, high chair, held in my arms, and in bed. Her motion stems from her legs though, not the pelvic area, so that may be a difference. I would suggest talking to your pediatrician, that is the best bet.

C.

My girl did the same thing! It started in infancy -- she was rocking herself to sleep at night this way. I figured it would cease on its own, but then the car seat belt thing came around. Later, much later, like around age two to four she was humping pillows.
The last time I remember her doing it was SuperBowl Sunday two years ago. We were watching the game in the home of a friend. My husband went to check on the kids who were down the hall playing.
"Y'all okay," he asks.
"Yeah," the friends' oldest answered, "but SHE'S doing something nasty with the pillow!"
I was mortified, and I think that it embarrassed my daughter enough that she stopped doing it. I had sat down with her several times to tell her that she should not do that...it would make her bo-bo sick...I tried to explain on her level. My pediatrician suggested that she not be punished for it since it was juvenile masturbation, but eventually I chunked that out the window at age five and she was punished two or three times be having to stand in the corner. Finally, though, it was the embarrasment that ended it all.
I hope that it doesn't carry on that long for your little one. I am sorry that I'm offering no advice, but I do offer support -- you are not alone, as weird as it seems!
I don't think that it has anything to do with bubble baths...my girl never took them because the females in my family are prone to UTI's so we avoid bubble baths. A yeast infection would be obvious if you examined her for that, so you should be able to rule that out yourself. Remember pediatric yeast infections look like horrible diaper rash, not like the ones we get as adults.
Blessings to you and your girl!

I have three small kids ages 2 - 5 and this freaked me out when they started doing that. I talked to the doctor and he said it's normal for that age, (age 2 -3 and with Gabe's autism he is on a 3 year old level). Last night my Gabe was sitting by me of the sofa and started to touch himself, that freaked me out even more than when he has done it in other places. I got him to stop by telling him that it's not nice to do in front of people and explained why not to do it at all. Whenever my girls do that, I give them a dirty look and tell them to stop or they are going to thier rooms...I also explain to them why not to do it. How I handle it may not be the "right" way but it makes them stop.

Oh girl - my niece did this (and still does, I'm sure, but knows it's private now that she is older!)Both of her parents are in the medical profession so you KNOW they researched and asked a million questions. She was told not to bring her stuff animal to day care when she was your child's age because she humped it all day.

Shw was later diagnosed with ADD and treated with medication which seemed to help on a lot of levels. They don't know if that is related but just something to keep an eye out for. The professionals basically said that some kids find it and once they find it, all they know is it feels good so why not? (Can you really blame them?!) The key is, it is NOT SEXUAL but you don't want to tell her it's wrong. I think the way it was handled was to acknowlege it feels good but it's really a private thing for her only to do in her room. I think my niece called it "sneaking". That way, they weren't saying it was bad, just private and something she should only do when she is alone. It doesn't stop it but they didn't find one professional who said to make her stop - they in fact said that would likely backfire, if not now, later in life.

I hope this helps. It drove them all crazy!!! J.

I would take her to a Dr. to see what a physical exam reveals.

My daughter did this but only when she was tired and needed to go to sleep. She eventually outgrew it. I want to say she was 4 or 5 when she stopped. I do think she found pleasure in it just not like an adult would but it helped her sleep and as much as I didn't like it I couldn't stop her and she eventually out grew it. She is now 8 and I haven't seen her do it in a few years.

Sally

I worked in a day care infant/toddler room for 3 years and have two daughters (ages 4 and 6). In my years of working with infants and having daughters, I have seen this behavior many times. At this age, they are discovering their bodies (seems weird, but it is true). I had one girl in my room who would do this on the high chair every time we put her in it. My girls still "play with" the area occasionally. If you have ruled out yeast invections and do not give her too many bubble baths (they can cause itching and dryness, etc), the then let her be for now. At 22 months she will not understand that it can be inappropriate to do this in public. If it is happening outside the home, just remove her from the tempting place. As she gets older (I started working with the girls at about 2.5-3 years of age) you can explain that it is acceptable but only in her room (this way she does not feel like she is doing any thing wrong or feel self concious). It will take some time and much patience (as I am sure this is also a comfort thing for her). You can also introduce a "lovie" of some sort to distract her. One thing to watch out for though is redness and swelling, as it can cause the area to be irritated. I promise the phase does pass.

The only hummping I have seen is a just turned 3 yr old her daddy molested. Where is daddy? The like to do children that can not talk. I have to take this to my grave but pray every day this child grows older and tells. She told me and daddy but the judge said not enough evidence. Gave daddy more visitation and now he knows he know so it has stopped. She now eats for comfort and is getting fat. I feel for this single parent who has no choice but to allow those visits. I have never seen this on normal children but also the class some of the day care providers say that the problems are so many people that expose the children to porno or have sex in front of children that they are not sure if it actually happened to them or something they have seen. Just keep that communication open. This grandma of the father accused me and everyone else she could think of to put blame some place else besides her son who is by-polar and a mess. I did read that by-polar do things with sex. So be aware of who she is around. God Bless and keep our childen save. I would teach her if she does that she needs to go in a bathroom or some place not in public how embarrasing.By the way the state all suggested her to not be in my day care. I wanted to help so bad but I could not allow her to pull her pants down in front of the little boys and act this out. In the end the grandma won. She is wealthy and did not like that the kids came to me so much and she wanted more visits. Other days cares can most do not take them over night or late so she put them in an expensive day care grandma pays the extra. She has done everything she can to get custody of these children and the mom is a great mom. G. W

Hi C.,
I hope you don't take any offense, but your post just cracked me up. I know it's not funny and you don't know what to do, esp since she is so young. If she has yeast infections, it probably started out as a way to relieve the itch, but now she may have discovered something else. My daughter did it too when she was four, it got to be very embarrassing, but she was old enough to reason with about doing it in private.
AND there was nothing wrong with her, no ADD or molestation going on. She's been a straight A student all her life with no behavioral problems, she's 16 now. So, don't worry in that respect. Being so young all you can do is keep telling her "no no, we don't do that". But the yeast infection needs to be taken care of.
Good Luck!!
And thanks for the chuckle.

If you are sure she is in good health and has not been harmed by anyone then I suggest buying her a rocking horse to keep in her room (this will give her a more acceptable alternative)and explaining to her that some things must only be done in the privacy of her own room alone. When she forgets remind her that the behavior is private and she needs to go to her room or telling her to go to the rocking horse instead. I don't recommend making her feel ashamed or you could be setting her up for emotional problems with sex later in life, but if she continues to do that in public places someone is bound to react in a way that will result in her feeling ashamed. Good luck, this isn't the easiest problem to deal with, but keep in mind that it isn't the worst either.

I think you need to take her to the doctor. She probably has a blatter infection or a yeast infection. Antibotics can cause yeast infections.
Also I would only let her wear white cotton panties and don't use bubble bath with her. She needs a mild soap without perfume so it will not irritate her when you clean her.
If there is not something medically wrong then you may need to ignore the behavior. Hopefully it will go away.

First of all maybe you should stop putting her in bubble baths, there may be some sort of irritant that is causing these infections. Your baby my just be "exploring" and the pleasure that she is experiencing may be just simple "soothing", and she just may not know any other way to satisfy or soothe herself. Maybe you could keep her occupied with a bag of toys or some other activity that she is sure to enjoy, thus giving her something else to focus on and another way to self soothe, but don 't make her feel ashamed or reprimand her about this. Have you taken her to the doctor, and expressed your concerns? Is there any possiblity that she may have been touched inappropriately? I hope this helps, take care.

Hello C., my daughter is 4 & has been doing it since she was 2. It starts out as a yeast infection - if you've ever had one yourself, you'll know how itchy and uncomfortable it can be. Even if you can't see it, it's still there. Ask your doc to prescribe medication for it. Second, STOP putting bubble bath soap in the bath water. Use a VERY mild cleanser for her private parts. I use "Summer's Eve" feminine hygiene wash for sensitive skin. Also, occasionally I put about 1/4 cup baking soda in the water to level the lower the PH in the water & neutralize the chemicals. Third, change her panties at least twice a day. Sometimes little girls have a tiny accident that can irritate their tender skin. And last, let her "hump" at night to relax before she goes to sleep. Nobody sees it, it makes her happy, and as her yeast infection/irritatioin goes away, she will reduce the amount of time she spends doing it. My daughter will still occasionally hump. A child doesn't know it's right or wrong-only that it feels good. And, a word to the wise - RELAX. Don't make a big deal of it. Good luck!

Old post, too bad. She should have got together with the 2 year old boy that humped for 2 hours; a match made in heaven.

I don't quite remember if my daughter exhibited this exact behavior, but I think she did something similar. I told her that it was fine to touch herself in whatever way she liked, and she could explore her body as much as she liked and that it's a private thing to do in private only, like her bedroom or the bathroom. I think she was 4 when I had this discussion with her. I also took the opportunity, though your daughter is too young probably for this discussion, to tell her that it's only okay for her to touch herself and that it's never okay for anyone else to touch her in her private areas nor for her to touch others in their private areas whether they are other children her own age, or adults. That if anyone ever tried to touch her, or tried to get her to touch them, even if they said not to tell me that she should always tell me as soon as she could. She is now almost 11 and our discussions about puberty, sex, boys, etc. are much different, of course.

Anyway, I don't know if you'll be able to get your daughter to understand "in private only."

I'm thinking distraction would probably be best. I feel bad for her, poor baby.

N.

C.,
I know how weird this makes you feel! My neice did this (she humped her B's-blankets). While it doesn't seem normal and not all kids do it, most kids, in the process of exploring their body, show some unusual behavior. My neice did this for a long time. And my other neice needed to be reminded that her bottom was not a play toy! Your daughter does not associate the good sensations she feels to sex or sexual acts. She just knows it feels good. My sister eventually just had to tell her if she wanted to hump she needed to go to her room. We would see her hair bouncing from behind the couch and ask if she were humping and she'd stop and say"no". What you don't want to do is punish her because it will send a message that these "sensations" are bad. It is nearly ridiculous that someone would allude to the fact that she was abused. Hypersexual behavior typically does not occur at age 2. Just ride the wave and encourage her to hump in private! Good luck!

Have you asked her pedi about this?

Please make an appointment with her pediatrician so she can be assessed. Might be a habit that soon shall disappear

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Have your questioned your pediatrician about her behavior?

I have a daughter that's been diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and she does that alot. It's been difficult for me to understand why she won't stop but all of her sensory issues are hard to understand for me because I don't suffer from that myself. I mainly try to discipline her for it. She's 5 and has been doing it since she was about 2. It's normal but not all kids do it. My other daughter (age 4) has never done it. Don't let anyone make you feel like it's something they learned from you or anything you've let them watch. The ones who do it, do it because of a natural instinct. I always worry about preschool and playdate situations and hope that the person in authority over them at the time understands this as normal behavior and doesn't become mortified by it. That's been the hardest thing for me to deal with.

Anyway, just implement age appropriate discipline if you want her to stop. You may be someone who doesn't mind her doing it in her room but I am not so my advice is slanted that way. At my daughter's age, she knows better because I've been working with her to stop it for a long time. So when I catch her doing it, I eliminate a privilege. Mostly TV, because that's when she does it the most, when she's watching TV. She also does it to soothe herself to sleep or to calm herself if she's gotten into trouble. I understand it's not sexual to her so I try not to embarass her, but I need her to learn self control, especially on this issue. So she gets some form of discipline every time she's caught doing it. She does it alot less now than she used to, but she still has trouble with it. It could potentially take a while to get under control. Like everything, I'm sure every child is different. Good luck to you.

C.,

It takes ALL kinds to make the world go round. That includes the dumb a22'$ too! Don't take what dumb people say to heart. Just open your arms and send a BIG HUG to them!!!! Embrace it with a smile! Life is too short to worry about what people think of you. You know what your about and that is a mother who was asking a question about something that was important to her (you)

Eliyah