Mom Seeking Advise on Motivation

Hi F.,

You can also balance the 2 types of advice you're getting, and have him take care of his own spending money, cell phone, car payments, etc., plus a small amount of "rent" for you.

I stayed with my grandmother for a few years, and paid for my own expenses, plus $100 rent. I felt that was quite fair, because she was paying the electric/water/etc. for everyone. (Me/grandmom/great grandmom). You're son is legally an adult and needs to get that real world experience. You could even take that 100$ (or whatever) and put it in an account for him (without telling him) and maybe gift it to him when he goes to get his own home, get married, whatever. Or just use it for the utilities ;)

Maybe, if you know them, have a chat with his friends' parents to see what's up there. If you all get on the same page, that'll drive all the kids crazy :)

Don't give him any money. Tell him its fine if he doesn't want to work, but let him know you won't be paying for his summer fun. If he wants movie/gas/whatever money he needs to earn it.

Suggest some flexible time jobs too like lawn mowing or odd job type stuff. Good luck!

Here are 2 cool jobs he might be interested in...the Colleyville Chamber has an opening for a full-time events and programs Coordinator and Nestle in Colleyville is looking for an entry level manager. Maybe one of these would work for your husband. Let me know if you need more information.

I agree with the advice you have received. Tell him when school is out he will become responsible for all his expenses. If he is not going to college that should include room and board (reasonable amt) either way it should include gas, spending money, clothes, insurance, car payment and/or use of your car. Just make it very clear and not in anger..........good luck, I will be facing that soon....

I have never been big on the "pay for your room and board" idea. I had friends in high school whose parents made them do that. They wound up moving out and into really bad apartments and the other bad things that go along with that environment.

I do however agree that he should pay for his gas, and other fun expenses. He won't have much of a social life if he has no spending cash, or is mooching off his friends. Eventually he will get motivated to get a job.

Is he financially responsible for his gas and "fun money"? If you're providing him with income and meeting all his wants and needs, he has no reason to get a job. He needs to understand this is part of becoming a responsible adult. "Parenting with Love and Logic" is a great resource and can help you make these points to him in a real, but nonthreatening way.

Make him pay his own way! Tel lhim that if he is to continue living at home he must, at least in part, pay rent, for utilities, his cell phone, food, car, gas, insurance, etc. Give him a deadline..........Perhaps tell him that his first 'payment' is due 30 days after he graduates. Good Luck!