My beloved daughter is currently seeing great (we think, so far) psychologist and psychiatrist for cutting, depression, anxiety and thoughts of suicide. She is on Prozac and Busparin, and learning cognitive behavioural therapies to give her alternatives to the blade when she has explosive anger, angst and stress of school. She has friends, is very social, academically smart - as her parents we try to give her everything she needs to succeed in her progress. At the same time, I as her Mom also am feeling like I need help, and would like to know if anyone has found good online resources for Moms with teenagers who self mutilate. I often feel angry she is sick, she seems selfish, doesn't want to get better, and this is really expensive! I know I shouldn't feel like this, but I do. Thank you in advance.. I've read a few of the posts here and they are helpful. Warmly, Zara
Zara,
I am sorry I don't have any advice for you, but I do want to tell you that you and your family are in my prayers.
Steph
I'm sorry that you're going through this and your daughter. It is definitely a very hard road to go on.
I think all of this involves a lot of patience and it sounds like you're running out and that YOU TOO NEED some time alone. Maybe you can consider seeing someone yourself..a counselor and I'm sure the counselor would have plenty of resources and plenty of ways to help deal with this situation.
Did you try contacting your City and County for Mental Health Resources? That might help. :)
If you're into prayers...send one out. I know I will be for family. Good luck!
Reviving Ophelia is a great book to read about adolecent behaviors, including cutting.
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/books/product.aspx?r=1&a....
She is externalizing internal hurt. At least you have recognized it (I used to do it).
get a punching bag. the big ones like they use at boxing gyms. a heavy bag it's called, I think? when either of you feels the build up of stress, anxiety, whatever go out and beat the hell out of the bag. having a good cry while doing it helps too! it's a much better release than hurting oneself. good luck!
If you really want to deal productively with the thoughts you have about your daughter, you may wish to investigate The Work as taught by Byron Katie. I've found her approach extremely useful in dealing with difficult people and situations of all sorts. She has a website where you can get all the basics for free (look at the bottom left on this page: http://www.thework.com/index.php, for free downloads).
My best to you. I'm sorry your family situation is so challenging.
I think you should consider a counselor to help you deal with the resentment...and the feeling of loss from feeling like you are missing out on parts of the mom-daughter relationship while she is struggling with these challenges...and the feeling of guilt wondering if you could have done something differently. It's very hard to have a child struggling with emotional issues. Journaling you thoughts is also a good release - keep your journal well hidden and don't write in it unless you are positive you are alone but it helps to sort out your feelings and fears. The CBT therapy is great stuff - there's much hope there. My heart goes out to you, Zara.
Can you also see a therapist, for you? Maybe scheduled during the daytime when your daughter is at school?
ZZ,
My daughter use to do this too. I took her to a couple counseling sessions, and did look online for help to understand what was going on with her. She is much more dramatic than I ever was, so it was hard for me to understand why myself. I also felt she was very selfish and was looking out for attention, she also started doing the cutting after talking with some of her friends. I feel as though it was a trend that's going on theses days. She talked about killing herself too, and her therapist said the next time she says it to take her to the Mental Institution and they can put her in a straight jacket and she can stay there. Her therapist said this in front of her while I was there. She never said anything more about killing herself because she knew I would take her. This has been at least 3 years ago, she's done better. She's still has her depression phases. I talk to her, and most of the time she does talk to me. She has her moments. I pray a lot.
Prayers are going out to you and your daughter!
