Mommy Just Wants Her Bed/Body Back

have you read the no cry sleep solution? also, you gotta get dad involved to help with both the night weaning and the sleeping in own bed if that's what you're really in for. otherwise, breastfed babies RARELY sleep through the night until well into their second year. breastmilk is easier to digest and doesn't last all night, so he is still eating for hunger at night. you'll have to increase his other food greatly to wean at all, but fats and proteins a whole bunch to get through the night.

He does not have to cry. Try 'The No Cry Sleep Solution' by Pantley. It helped me night wean my son at about a year old. I kept nursing him just 2x a day ( when I got home from work at at bedtime) until he was a little over 2 and it really wasn't a problem for me. It was very comforting to both of us to have that time together and breastmilk is good for them no matter what the age. What I did is I would rock him to sleep and nurse him and then put him in the crib when asleep. Then he would sleep in his crib quite a while and then when he woke I would bring him to sleep and he would nurse when he wanted. To break him of it, I would let him nurse for only very short times, then take him off. He would fuss a little and I would give him the breast again, but for a shorter time. After only about a week of this he started to learn that he wasn't going to get what he wanted and he just stopped waking up all together. You do have to keep track of what he does and remain somewhat awake while you are doing this but in the long run it is worth it. Good luck!

Those unmelodious cries might go on a tiny bit more, but this will not last forever. I remember the same thing going on. You might have to experience a few. Anyway, not sure what has been tried yet. Sitting in the room next to the bed a couple of days is a possibility. Singing, music, a diversion of some sort. Unfortunately there aren't any set rules. Then when they are seventeen you won't be able to get them out of bed at all. Go figure. Can't win sometimes...

C.
If you are stopping the BF he will cry so getting around that unless you let him guide you through the weaning process which will take a lot longer. When i was ready to wean each one of my kids it took about month. First we went to the store to get a special cup for water at night. Then my husband was the one to put them to bed at night it took while but we mean it through it this a short time in your parenting life and the babies are only little once then get to be as big as we are before you know it..(I have an alomost 13, alomost 10, 7 1/2 , 6 and 13 months still nursing) With numbers 3 and 4 they led the weaning with 1 and 2 I did and they all cried when the milk was gone. I know you really did not want to hear that but sometimes that is how it goes.
You can check the LLL website for more tips on weaning
www.llli.org/nb.html good luck!

My son co-slept with us from 3 months old to 16 months--nursing off and on all night long--I swore he would NEVER sleep in his own bed or give up night nursing. Then one night at 16 months old he refused to even nurse to sleep and it was 10 pm. I put him in his crib and shut the door. He fussed for 30 seconds and went to sleep. He then woke at his usually 3:30 time and I did not go to get him--he fussed for 30 seconds and went back to sleep. From that night on he has slept all night in his bed without a peep. At night I put him in wide a wake and he goes right to sleep until 5:30 the next morning at which time he is ready to nurse and he falls back to sleep in bed with us.

When a baby is ready he will sleep through the night in his own bed. I feel your pain--there were many nights when I swore I could not co-sleep and nurse another night. I would say just keep trying and one night he might just surprise you. Nap time is totally different--He still refuses to lay down and take a nap in his crib. I have nurse him to sleep for naps or take him for a stroller ride. Go figure.
Just remember and baby does not have to Cry it out to learn to self sooth. My son learned to go to sleep all by himself at night with no crying it out adn this was after nursing on demand AND sleeping with us.

Hi C.,
I am a Mom of three - ages 8, 7 and 3 1/2. I had great skill with the sleeping thing after reading a whole lot. My youngest will be 4 in a month and still naps when he needs it (or I say he needs it).

It seems consistent that changing sleep habits takes three nights of steel nerves and maybe three more of some strength. So make sure you and your husband are mentally up to the challenge before you start. There can't be any emotion on your part - or conversation. Once the child goes down, they are supposed to stay there (ha ha :). You have to be stern - they recognise the voice. and after you get them to stay in the bed, they will cry and throw a fit. Mine went for an hour at one stretch before they got so exhausted they finally fell asleep. Unless you think there is a medical problem, let them go. Three nights of hell will pass and your daily misery will be over. Well worth the trouble.

Go to the library and find some books. You only need a chapter or two from each. Try Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby, and Babywise or any others that look interesting!

C. - each mother is different, but I took the "hard line" when getting my daughter to sleep in her own bed. She always had a separate sleep area, but at nap time she would cry to get out of her crib. I made sure she was comfortable - fed, not thirsty, diapered, comfortable etc, then let her cry it out. As a mom you know the difference between the something is wrong cry and the ticked off cry. It was a hard (and heart-breaking) two weeks, but when she realized that was how it was going to be she went down for nap time great and still does.

Sorry, no advise on the breast feeding - that didn't work out for us. It sounds like your son is very comforted by breast feeding and this is a strong bonding time for him. I'm sure you already do, but just give him undivided attention and cuddle him without breastfeeding and this may make it easier on him and on you.

Dear C.,
I understand the problem. First of all, your bed is your bed. He should not be allowed to sleep in it. My daughter does not sleep in my bed. Well, my daughter at a year, we had to just leave her be. She will understand that it is to be quiet at night time. Even now at 2.5 years old, she understands that when it is bedtime, then it is quiet time and not to get out of bed. If he screams, it is o.k. let him scream. It will take longer now that it would have 5 months ago. Also, it might be that he is nursing all night because he is use to that it is a comfort. Does he get a snack before bedtime? That might help with the nursing problem.
Praying for you

I hear you! First of all, well done on opening up your bed to your child and nursing! I know what it's like to reach the end of myself, only to want to fall into bed, have some space, and have a break from nursing. My son is 10 months old and he's still sleeping with us...with no end in sight. Yet, I'm enjoying the cuddling. We go through some nights of restless sleeping because of teething or sickness, but that's when he really just needs some comfort. If you think you can, perhaps just try to embrace this stage and give your child what he needs. If not, Dr. Sears has some great ideas of how to transition your baby out of bed. You could also join the Yahoo attachment parentin group...a whole community who parents like you. Most of the readers of this site will recommend the "Cry-it-out method", to get the baby out as soon as possible, etc. It's your perrogative, but consider what your child needs. Good luck!

Try eleminating 1 feeding at a time. We started with boo boos. I would always nurse when they got hurt and started saying "not for boo boos" and hold them, focas on something different. I always used to say weaning is like trying to quit smoking, you have to do a little at a time. The night thing is actually rougher. Decide with your husband a plan that you to can stick together and stick to it, would be my best advise. They will now how far to push to get you to give in. You could let him cry it out or stay in the room with him. Good luck, G.

Well if you need to wean that is one issue. On the other hand many children wean themselves once they are up and running round. I found that my child gradually lost interest and when he did I didn't force the issue, then before I knew it he wasn't nursing at all (around 15 mo.)Of course all children are different, but if you can it can be much better for mom and child to gradually wean as they naturally change.
As for bedtime I found cuddling in bed with my child and gradually transitioning to leaving him in his own bed worked.

I just trained my nursing 1 yr old to sleep in her crib a couple months ago so I totally understand the frustration! I skimmed through a couple of books, then made up my mind that it had to be done. First, I laid out my sleeping bag on the floor next to her crib and camped out for about a week (an air mattress may be better for the back!). I did the routine of pjs, brushing teeth, singing a song, nursed her put her down in her crib. She cried hysterically the first night and it broke my heart, it was hard. I had to wait till she understood and then,boom, she layed down and went to sleep. Second night was better, she laid down sooner, each night better after that. I slept on the floor and reached my hand into her crib to assure her I was there every time she woke during the night. She started waking again at 12 mos and I had to resist taking her to my bed.
I need to wean soon too so I can start herbal hormone therapy. My 2 yr old weaned at a year & 2 wks pretty easily, gradually, but this one is stubborn as can be. Also, the Dr. assured me that by 5-6 mo. of age their liver is mature enough for them to sleep all night and NOT need middle of the night feedings. They insist out of habit and comfort.

Your little guy is most likely going through a growth spurt/reaching a new developmental milestone, which can disrupt sleep and increase nursing. I'd say give it time, it won't go on forever (believe me!) Congrats on nursing so long! Keep it up if you can.