Moms Who Were Sleep Deprived

Updated on April 10, 2008
S.C. asks from Chicago, IL
24 answers

I need help because my 7 month old will not sleep thru the night he wakes at least 4 or 5 times night most of the time he just wants to sleep in my arms or he'll cry for a bottle but doesn't drink it he just likes it in his mouth which i know is not good so i give him his pacifier but he spits it out and wakes up all the time someone please help because i have a full time job as well and ny husband works third shift. Oh also his naps during the day consist of anywhere from 15 min. To an hour if iam lucky help!

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So What Happened?

Okay i got the book everyone recommended and it was awesome, but the they that i posted my blog i seen an offer for a baby 3day sleep solution so between the book and these dvd's it is going great. We started yesterday 04/11/2008 and he went from napping 15,30 minutes to a full 2 and 1/2 hours. Then at night we put him to bed at 9pm he woke up twice and he slept from 2am and was still sleeping when i left to work at 8:30am with no waking. Thank you all for such great advice i think i'm finally going to start resting again. Thanx again.

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N.S.

answers from Chicago on

I hear where you are coming from, my daughter used to do that also. What we finally had to do is let her cry it out, starting when we first put her to bed at night. I would go in and comfort her after about 10 minutes but not pick her up. It only took a couple of nights, but it worked. We also put the baby aquarium with music in her room and that seemed to work really well. Good luck!

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S.W.

answers from Chicago on

It is so hard to teach children to sleep through the night on their own and its not easy. the longer we wait the harder. there is no reason a 7 month old needs a bottle at night except for comfort. I recommend- when you are ready and the baby's needs are all met let him cry it out. its tough and can last awhile but it does get easier. the baby will not remember and you will all sleep better in the end. I can not stress enough the importance of routine.

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L.D.

answers from Chicago on

I agree - get "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth. You'd be amazed at how well his philosophies work. His main theory "sleep begets sleep" is so true. Part of the reason why your child isn't sleeping at night is because he isn't napping consistently during the day. People often think that the child will be more tired at night if they don't nap well during the day, but in fact the opposite is true - they become overtired and are therefore too ramped up to sleep. Weissbluth compares this to an adult being overly stressed out - you know how hard it is for you to sleep under those circumstances. This is similar to what happens to a child when they don't get enough sleep. And so the cycle goes round and round.

One thing to note: I actually go to Weissbluth's practice - he is the head pediatrician at Northwestern's Children's Practice. Our doc (who of course works for Weissbluth) cautioned us not to take the book too literally. Take from it what will work for you and your family. Every child is different, so don't feel like you have to apply the philosophies word for word or exactly as he states them. We heeded her advice and used the book more as a troubleshooting guide and it worked wonders. This was when our daughter was about 6 months old - she's now over 2 years and has been a great sleeper ever since!

Hope this helps!

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A.B.

answers from Dallas on

There's this book called Healthy Sleep Habits; Happy Child. I love this book. It has kept me sane, at least after each child turned three months. Give it a try.

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

Read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weisbluth. He is a sleep expert, and I swear, the first night we tried putting into practice what he said... our daughter slept through the night for the first time (she was 9 months old). Now, she's a GREAT sleeper--12 hours every night! One thing that's important to remember is that a baby's sleep cycle changes too. After a few months, you'll have to make some adjustments to the schedule. Good luck!

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K.D.

answers from Chicago on

The problem is probably that he does not know how to fall asleep on his own. My advice is going to be hard for you and your 7 month old, but was the best advice my dr gave me when I was having the same problem with my son when he was nursing. At 7 months old he is not hungry but it is becoming a habit, just like my son that would keep waking up to nurse but not eat and fall asleep. You need to start putting your son to bed sleepy but still awake and let him learn to fall asleep without a bottle, pacifier, or you holding him. He will cry a lot the first few nights. My son cried 2 hours the first night and every night it would get a little less. I would go in his room every 10 minutes to calm him down, but do not rock him to sleep or give the bottle. Eventually he would be so tired he fell asleep. The next night same thing but a little less time. By the end of 1 week he was falling asleep on his own. Also in the middle of the night if he wakes back up do not pick him up. I would do the same let him cry for 10 minutes and then just calm him down. Good luck, it is tough to listen to them cry but great once everyone is sleeping thru the night.

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

My son was the same way, I was exhausted/he was exhausted. It became a chain, the less sleep he had the less sleep he did. I did use the awesome book, Happy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child. However, does have some cry it out information/implementation if you are able to do it. He is very research based which is what I like as well, as my husband was very much against any crying whatsoever. However, once I did this method/book, I taught my son awesome sleep habits that he has to this day. He is over two, sleeps 13-14 hours in the night and takes three to four hour naps daily. It is amazing. Good luck, it is hard to be exhausted for both of you!
T.

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

I'm having flashbacks. My oldest was terrible. Mostly because I trained her to need me and other comforts to sleep. She had to have a pacifier that I had to go find every hour upon the hour to put back in her mouth. She wanted to nursed even at that age every two to three hours and be rocked. It was a nightmare. For awhile I would lay on the floor and let her hold my finger through the slates of the crib so she would sleep and I would try to sleep.

It was awful. I finally just had to grow a spine and realize that my lack of sleep was making me a terrible mom and she wasn't getting enough rest either. So we started the method.

First night: I laid her down when she woke up...told her it was night-night time. I patted her bottom and sang her a short song and walked out. She cried for 15 minutes at the top of her lungs. I went back in (lights off) and repeated the above. I never picked her up or said anything except it was night-night time. I would shhh her or sing a soft, short song while patting her bottom.
It took about four or five repeats but she gave up and went to sleep.

The second night it only took about three times. The third night maybe the same or just two. The fourth and fifth night maybe just one or two times and the next week she was sleeping for six to eight hours straight. Maybe she would try to wake once during the night, but I wouldn't turn on the light, I didn't pick her up, I just checked her diaper, laid her down gently, told her it wasn't time to get up, patted her bottom a minute and walked out.

It worked for me. Good luck!!!

PS Made sure I didn't make that mistake with the second one. She went right in her crib as soon as she came home from the hospital. I never rocked her to sleep. She nursed, I sang and then I laid her down. She learned right off to go right to sleep and then if she woke up she would just go back to sleep on her own.

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N.R.

answers from Chicago on

I would talk to my Dr about this. Are you feeding formula only in the bottle? Maybe try mixing in some dry baby food, about 2 tbsp in each bottle, it fills them up and they will sleep better. Also maybe baby is teething and gums hurt, try giving a frozen bagel during the day and before bedtime, or rub baby oragel on the gums to numb them.

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T.T.

answers from Springfield on

Is your son teething? I know that when a child is cutting teeth they seem to bother them more at night when the child is laying flat on his/her back. Another thing, my son had sleeping issues and i was told to put tight fitting clothing on him. Also, we had to take two blankets or towels and roll them long ways and place one on each side of him so he felt secure. We just rolled them and placed them under the sheet so they would stay put and not cause any concern to him. It worked wonders for him. Just a few suggestions, I hope you find something that works.

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B.F.

answers from Chicago on

my daughter just wanted to be held & i suckered her into the boppy at night. i actually put it in her crib. yes, this is against the "tag" and probably not the best for the kid, but it promoted a warm "cuddled" night for the baby & i actually got some sleep. good luck.

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C.C.

answers from Chicago on

oh you poor thing!! I remember those zombie days. My daughter didn't sleep through the night until 9 monthes. My MIL and Mom swore I was doing something wrong. She just wouldn't sleep. Does he just want to snuggle? Maybe try laying him down in his crib and gently place your hand on his tummy or back. Maybe leave a fan on low for some white noise. Have you tried swaddling?

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R.K.

answers from Chicago on

Hi S. -
If your baby likes to sleep in your arms, then let him. I spent the first 9 months of my first child's life trying to get her to sleep in her crib. She was breastfed, so when she woke up I would feed her and she would fall asleep (in a rocking chair or couch) and then slowly, slowly, slowly, carefully, carefully I would put her back in her crib. Ten minutes later or less, she would be up again screaming. This would go on - 11pm, midnight, 1am, 2am, 3am. Most of the time I would pick her up she didn't really want to nurse, she would just fall asleep in my arms. I thought I was going to go crazy from lack of sleep. Finally someone told me to let her sleep with me. I had never heard of something like that...sleeping with one's baby. yikes. But in desparation I tried it. Halleluia, it worked. She slept and I slept. After 2 months of beautiful full-nights of sleep, I took the stupid crib down. I would have taken it down with an axe, but my husband convinced me to give it to his cousin.

Flash forward 29 years. I had 4 more babies after her. They all slept with me. I nursed them at night without even waking up. No nighttime problems ever. No nightmares, no night terrors, no bedwetting. No problems going to sleep. My children are now 29, 27, 19, 17, and 11 and none of them sleep with me anymore and they are all weaned. My daughter, my firstborn and the one mentioned here, is a very successful business woman and comedienne in Los Angeles.

Enjoy your sweet babies!

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N.D.

answers from Chicago on

I also work full time in health care, so I needed to be sane for my patient's sake.

I began a nighttime ritual of bath, bottle, bedtime. That way she learnt that it was bedtime. Once she finished her milk I placed her in the crib and said night-night, and left. It took about 2-3 days but by then she was sleeping all night. Babies learn fast, and by learning how to put herself to sleep, she did not awaken at night calling for us b/c she knew how to put herself back to sleep.

It can take up to a week though, depending on the baby's temperment.

Of course this doesn't apply if they are sick or not in good health.

Lots of people call us demons and horrid people for using the cry it out method, but you know what? Each parent has their own method what works best, and this method worked best for me.

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C.G.

answers from Chicago on

He could be teething or just going through some kind of phase. Holding the bottle in his mouth might be soothing to his gums. If you are comfortable, try giving him some Tylenol before bed one night and see if he sleeps better- he may be uncomfortable due to teething.

Make sure you estalish a good bedtime routine, whether it's a bath and rocking in a chair and feeding or something else- to help him relax and clue into bedtime.

This will pass! Even the worst sleepers do better than 4-5 wakings a night. Good luck.

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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

There's always the option of filling a sippy cup with water and keeping it in the crib. That kept my sanity during those years!

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J.M.

answers from Chicago on

Has he always done this or is this a relatively new behavior? If it's new, maybe see about having the doc check him out to rule out any problems.

Also, do you have a bedtime routine in place? We started our son on his at 4 months and it really helped set the tone. He knew what to expect, that he would have a story read, be put to be awake and that we'd leave the room. I never rocked him to sleep (except the first few weeks-- I just HAD to, he was so sweet!!) so he was able to fall asleep on his own. That way when he woke up during the night, he was able to get back to sleep himself.

He may also be starting to teeth which can interrupt the best routine and sleepers.

Maybe try the bedtime routine and see if that helps after a week. Just make sure it's consistent each night so he knows what to expect.

Good luck!

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D.

answers from Chicago on

I feel for you. Why do you think your son is waking up? Is he in pain, have you tried giving him tylenol or motrin? Teething is always a guessing game but usually a right one. Especially since you said he wants something in his mouth but then spits it out. Has he always done this or is this something new? If it is new, then it is probably teething but if it isn't he might just be testing you and because you come in and console him, he keeps wanting it. You can try the cry it out method. Some people do not agree with it but if he is truly just wanting you to come into his room he will learn quickly that that is not going to happen. If he cries longer than 15min then he might be in pain or need something. I would give it a try. Speaking from someone who dealt with this, it is worth the try.

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N.K.

answers from Chicago on

I was sleep deprived until I started co-sleeping. Now I get a lot of sleep and am never tired at work. My son and I go to sleep at 8:30 or 9 and stay in bed until 7:00. If I wake up, like right now, I use my laptop to catch up on email while my son continues sleeping. My partner works nights so I don't have to worry about objections. Good luck to your family!

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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

I would advise having your baby sleep in your bed. He will sleep longer if you are next to him. Many studies have shown that mothers who co-sleep get a lot more sleep.

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S.V.

answers from Chicago on

Get this book I just heard about, MOm's on Call. YOu can find out about it at www.familylife.com It was written by 2 pediatric nurses who say that their techniques will get your baby sleeping by 6-8 weeks of age! I have not personally read it, but it sounds like you are at the point of trying anything to just get some sleep :) Hope it helps.

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C.B.

answers from Springfield on

I, too am having a very similar problem. My 8 1/2 month has always been a good sleeper and then all of a sudden....she doesn't want to go to bed.

I posted this similar quesiton...if you click on my, you can go to my posts and see what responses I got (some really good ones, like yours). The general consensous I received was to go and get the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth.

So, I bought the book yesterday. I did manage to get through the first few chapters, and already I'm gaining an understanding of her sleep habits, so I really think (& hope!) that this book will work for me.

I'll let you know....best of luck to you!

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D.F.

answers from Chicago on

S.,
I was prescribed Ambien, but a friend of mine suggested to take magnesium with some milk and chamomile tea. It works! It's better than some of the side effects from Ambien.

D.

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L.D.

answers from Peoria on

I have a 8 month old in the same situation we started feeding her more during the day and she has been sleeping thur the night. We feed her ceral and fruit before we offer her a bottle each time she is hungry. L. D

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