M.P.
My first thought is stress. Because he has generally been a laid back, easy going boy, he's not had to learn how to handle the increased work and expectations that vision therapy and being another grade higher in school brings.
One important thing for you to do is to be sure that he's getting enough sleep and nutritious meals and snacks. Fatigue nearly always results in a melt down for kids and also in most adults.
When does he do his homework? I'm guessing that it's when he's already tired. Have him work on it as early as possible. My granddaughter used to always have melt downs around homework. Her teacher helped alleviate this problem by suggesting that if she works on it for 15-20 minutes but still isn't done to let her stop. It does no good to insist that she continue because she's not able to absorb any of it anyway.
Also, once she gets especially whiny I know a melt down is not far away. So, when I'm involved, I become her cheer leader. She works best when someone is sitting at the table with her doing their own thing. I read but am available to answer her questions. She shows me what she's done and I look at it giving her feedback in positive terms. Some evenings nothing works and it's my philosophy that sometimes getting homework done is not a high priority as long as it's done most of the time to the satisfaction of the teacher. Homework, to me, only becomes an issue if it becomes an issue for the teacher and then I work with the teacher on finding ways to get it done.
I was this way with my daughter and she graduated with good grades. Unfortunately she believes that homework should be done no matter what and she gets into power struggles with her daughter.
My granddaughter also goes to Homework Club after school. It's just one afternoon a week but it has helped her learn skills that makes doing homework easier.
But your question wasn't about homework. You're concerned about depression and puberty. It's not common for a boy to begin puberty that early. In fact I'd think it quite rare. Girls can start at 9.
If the only change is falling apart I'd think it's stress more than depression. I'd be easy on emphasizing responsibility and lighten up as much as possible with him. He still needs the vision therapy and so make that into something fun.
My daughter was in psychological therapy and vision therapy for awhile. She often didn't want to go. We turned the appointment into an afternoon of fun. We had a routine. We always stopped at Powell's Bookstore and bought a tiny clay fruit or vegetable to put into a tiny clay basket after the appointment. The basket was first and then each week we bought one tiny fruit or vegetable; Then they had cakes, pies, cookies; all tiny and made of clay. She still has them at age 29. Then we ate at a fast food restaurant of her choice because that is the only place she wanted to eat. In retrospect I wish that I'd found a way for her to learn to like a healthier place to eat. My granddaughter, at that age, now chooses an inexpensive Vietnamese restaurant and my grandson Ba Ha Fresh which is also healthier.
One can become depressed after a period of time of stress. I'd work on reducing the stress first and see what happens. Depression has other symptoms too, such as a change in eating and sleeping habits and a loss of interest in usual activities. You can find descriptions of depression on the Internet. Google children and depression, children and stress.
Perhaps when he's rested and feeling good you could ask him about how he's feeling when he falls apart and brain storm together about what would help him the most. I've done this with my granddaughter who is now 9 and now she comes to me and says I need a hug before she has the meltdown. She sits on my lap and I hold her. Sometimes we just take that break and she goes back to doing what needs to be done. Sometimes we watch a bit of TV together or I read her a story or we talk, sometimes about how she's feeling and sometimes about nothing important at all. She's now able to ask me if I want a hug when I start to get grouchy. This feels so good!
Your son is fortunate to have you as his mother. Don't worry too much about his moodiness. Sensitive people tend to be moody at times. I think it's good to be sensitive, sweet, and caring as you describe your son. It is good to find ways to help him deal with his moodiness. The two of you will work it out.
