Moody 8 Year Old

Updated on April 15, 2008
S.M. asks from Saint Louis, MO
15 answers

I have a second grader that has been real emotional and moody. He runs out of the room whenever he gets the least bit aggravated. I notice he loves to act like the victom. Does anybody have any advice on how to ride this out....is this normal 8 year old boy behavior?

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N.W.

answers from Kansas City on

S., I wish i had advice. I did want to let you know that my 8 year old son does the same thing. I have asked other moms of sons, and she said they all do it. So I guess I have conceded to live with it and not let him get the best of me. I do think that if we let him BE the victim he will always be able to play the victim, and this can lead to narsissim ( I know my brother is one. a narsissit that is.) I and I try to "reason" ( I don't reason very well) with him after he has calmed down.
I don't know if this helped but I did want you to know, it seems to be normal.

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K.M.

answers from Wichita on

I have a 9 year old boy going through the same thing. I was told it was boy hormone changes similar to what girls go through. I try to talk to him and let him get out the frustration but he too always plays the victim. This must be normal for this age group.

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A.C.

answers from St. Louis on

Is he hungry? I have a 2nd grader also ( boy) and he is hypoglycemic. If he gets hungry, he's moody (as is the hubby). Also, what has he eaten before this all happens? There is research, lately, that some chemicals in the foods we eat are pretty bad for behavior. Especially boys. Any high fructose corn syrup or partially hydrogenated oils in the house? Get rid of 'em. I would also ignore the acting like a victim for awhile. Maybe he is doing this for attention. And negative attention is better than none (in his mind). Where is he in birth order? Maybe get a book on that subject. Good luck. Boys are different; no doubt about it. God love 'em.

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D.H.

answers from Topeka on

I have an 8 yr old second grader who is justthe same. To my knowledge it is normal. I dont cater to the behavior... I just let him know that it is ok to be mad and he doesn't have to like what I say, but he still has to follow rules. that seems to work for him. It is letting him know you aknowledge his feelings, but that it isn't any excuse to not follow rules. I use a lot of "If and Then Statements" as well. Like " If you do not clean your room, then you will lose gameboy privilages" hope this helps!
D.

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M.G.

answers from Kansas City on

S., I'll be watching the responses you get for ideas, because my 9 year old is the same way! Sometimes he's great, other times he's just awful.

M.

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D.P.

answers from Columbia on

My 8 year old has gone through something simular to this. He is the youngest (of two). If he didn't get his way he would act like the entire world was against him. He even went through a short time of hitting (on his older brother) if he didn't get his was (like when playing games). We thought it was because he was the youngest... However, he did end up growing out of it. If he would storm out of the room we would make him return to the room and leave peacefully. Other than that we would let him leave, and not show extra attention to his 'moody' actions. When he realized he wasn't getting that extra attention it started fading away... One thing is to let him go ahead and leave the room (unless you are in the middle of talk to him about something... explaining and such). Our doctor said this was our son's way of 'cooling off'... It does fade, even though it seems as it never will!
Good luck!!

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H.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Well, as you can see by the other posts, I think this is normal. I also have an 8 year old son and we have had the worst year with him. Everything he says now is like,"you are so mean to me," "No one likes me," "Daddy hates me," "you wish I wasn't even in this family." I could go on and on for hours with stuff like this. And as it was mentioned before, I have a younger child (also a boy), who is about to turn 6 and way more emotionally stable than my 8 year old. So I do think it has to do with the age and now I know what to expect from the younger one in a couple of years. Now that you know this is probably "normal," it doesn't necessarily help with the day to day of how to survive it, right? I think is probably one of those times that different things will work on different kids. Our son gets sent to him room a lot for this behavior. When everyone has had some time to get it together, I or his dad usually go talk to him. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. He's old enought that I feel I should be able to reason with him, but he still doesn't always seem to "get it." Hang in there!

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Y.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Don't give into his behavior...as Mom's we tend to do that nut if it persists you may have to seek counseling for him. Just kind a watch him & (jot it down) his behavior patterns. We just can't know sometimes what's going on with the our children & you might want to ask his teacher about him & how he is at school...it could be something going on there. Good luck & God Bless!

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I like to say that boys "cry from age 6 to 10". It's been true for both of my sons, & I've noticed it's quite typical at sports/scout events too (for this age group).
If your son likes to feel the victim, get him involved in a public service activity or at an animal shelter. It just seems that the more you help others, the stronger & more adaptable you become. It provides great personal growth potential. Both of my sons enjoy donating their time to worthy causes.

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M.M.

answers from Wichita on

Have an eight year old grandaughter with same symtoms. Is he the youngest?

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A.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I don't have much advice...but I have an 8 year old boy that is doing the exact same thing. He's also the middle child so I didn't know if it was his age or circumstance. He whines and pouts and, as you said, acts the victim. He's sweet and sooo smart but is way emotional. He also has a very short temper. He gets mad very easily, especially at his little sister...and just last year they were the best of friends. So I'm just waiting for him to grow out of it.

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K.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I have an 8 year old boy (the oldest of 3) and he does this too. He has always been emotional, but recently he has started the running out of the room business. From what I hear from other parants this is really common, especially with boys! I have a 6 year old girl that seems more emotionally stable than her older brother, which is why I have consulted other parents of 8 year old boys(several had younger sisiters that also seemd more stable!) Although I'm not any sort of expert on the subject I do think it is normal. I do try to pay attention and on days that he seems more emotional than others I will ask a lot of questions and make sure nothing serious happened at school. All you can do is talk to them, make sure there is not an underlying problem and assure them that you love them. Good luck!

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K.M.

answers from Springfield on

I can totally relate to you on this. My son is almost 8 and is shall we say overly dramatic. Glad to hear I'm not the only one dealing with this. If his behavior is disrupting the family I would say to set up a punishment system if you do this than this will happen. My son for example gets really loud when he cries if he is in trouble, so we make him go to his room until he stops. Because we cant even think when he is like that. Not sure if it helps but I wanted to let you know you are not alone!:)

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S.M.

answers from St. Louis on

What is happening at school? Does he stand up for himself? Is there a person that might be a bully? (Yes in the 2nd grade) Is he having a growing spurt? or Not eating for some reason? Is there a girl-friend? (Sometimes boys get really sensitive to show the girls how cool they are) What does he like to do?-read, play sports, ride bikes, watch tv or video games? This may give you a clue into what is going on with him-you have to pay attention-but at a short distance so he can be himself and you can observe. Watch and see what's up...then act from what "he tells" you. Something to work on is the diet he has-try very healthy foods with a good ration of fruits and fun vegetables-avoid processed things like fast foods for a bit and see if that helps too. And if he can-milk and fruit juices not soda. Don't let him run you-he is eight and you are the parent.

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K.K.

answers from Wichita on

I have taught for the last 10yrs. and although I have not been blessed with my own children yet - I have seen this with MANY 8 yr olds!! Boys and girls alike... I do believe this is normal... Some kids are just going through these types of feelings earlier than they used to when we were that age. My sister had my nephew go through the same stage when he thought no one loved him and that no one wanted him around. We just reassured him and tried to get him to discuss what he was feeling and why. He didn't always seem to have a concrete answer but he is now almost 10 and has grown out of that. I have seen that happen with many of my previous students as well. Hang in there - it will get better!

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