MORE Sleeping Problems

Updated on June 10, 2009
J.S. asks from Morrisville, PA
13 answers

My 21 month old daughter has not been a great sleeper from birth. Every issue in the past has seemed to take it's own course and then eventually the problem would solve itself. This time however, things are different. The newest issue is that for over 3 months she has been getting up for the day b/w 4:30 and 5:00 am. She still takes 2 naps a day which used to be 30 minutes each but for the past month have become 40 minutes to one hour each. We have a consistent routine for both bedtime and naps. I do not believe in sharing a bed and will not start a habit of bringing her into my room at 5:00am. I have tried to let her cry it out and she will cry for over an hour. Plus now I have a three month old who she has woken up before with her screams. I have tried going into her promptly and calmly telling her it is still night time and she needs to go back to sleep. After doing that she will go back into her crib without complaint but 15-20 minutes she is crying again. I have tried pushing her bedtime back but after a week of her getting up either at the exact same time or even earlier, I resumed her usual bedtime of 7:30. I have tried multiple attempt at transitioning her down to one nap which has consistently resulted her getting up significantly earlier. In fact yesterday I attempted one nap again and she got up at 3:30 for the day. She will only sleep in her crib (always has since the day she was born) so putting her in a new environment after her first waking will not work to get her back to sleep. She has toys/lovies in her crib but has NEVER played in her crib. We have a sound machine, room darkening blinds, a night light. She IS teething and all of her 1st year molars have broken through except for one (she is a late teether). Could this 3 month torture just be a result of teething???? How long does that last??? Any new suggestions other than a later bedtime or cutting out one nap as neither has worked.? I am sooooo tired and frustrated. My husband works long hours and commutes to multiple client sites so it is not an option for him to get up with her as I do not want him to get behind the wheel when he is tired so it is on me. HELP!

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much for all your advice. I have been putting my daughter to bed 1/2 hour earlier...her bedtime is now 7am. Unfortunately she still gets up by 4:30 5:00am but with her earlier bedtime she is at least getting a bit more sleep and is a bit happpier throughout the day. Also, unfortunately by now 4 month old has begun to follow suit and will not sleep past 5:30am. I think she may be teething also. So, between my 2 girls, I figure I will be sleeping again in about 3 years :)

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J.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

2 naps does seem like a lot for an almost 2 year old, though the naps are short, so that's probably not the issue.
I always keep a sippy cup of water in my girls bed so if they wake up, they can take a drink... but I don't have to worry about it spoiling.
it could be her 2 year molars... my older daughter had all her teeth before she was 2. maybe try giving her some teething tablets when she wakes up and see if that helps. those things are like miracle pills!!!!!!

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D.C.

answers from Pittsburgh on

This may seem counter-intuitive but try putting her to bed earlier. When either of my boys would start waking up earlier than I liked what worked best was putting them to bed a half-hour earlier. I hope you find something that works soon.

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A.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Make sure that she is not cold. Someone suggested this to me with my oldest who would wake up early like yours and I put a decent blanket on him (not a crib blanket) and it worked.

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P.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

J.,
Could this be connected to the new baby's arrival? Maybe your daughter's internal clock has been changed since the new baby woke her up during the night. Is the new baby sleeping through the night? Maybe it is the timing of the naps during the day. If she is getting a total of 12 hours of sleep with naps then she is rested when she awakes. I think it may take a while, but if you eliminate one of the nap times her internal clock will eventually reset. Make sure she gets lots of physical activity during the day time, especially outdoors. This always helped my little ones sleep better at night.

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T.Y.

answers from Philadelphia on

I agree with the other mom to try and put her down a little earlier. It seems crazy but my son was the same way...if we put him down later he woke up earlier. If we put him down earlier he slept better. We also had room darkening blinds and I put dark blue/black blankets over them to encourage him to sleep better. Once he was old enough I put him in a toddler bed, put a safety gate up, and let him play for awhile while we slept (sort of). We made sure the room was childproofed and we also had the monitor on. I never really slept but at least I could lay in bed with my eyes closed. He stood at the gate for the first week and cried but after that it worked great...I didn't get him until around 7. He would wake up and "read" books, build block towers, etc. I could hear everything on the monitor. Maybe you could save "special toys" for her to play with at that time of the morning. You could put them in the room after she is asleep and then when she wakes up they will be there for her to play with. You can put them away for the day and only take them out at that time of day...it would probably have to be something new to attract her attention. I hope you find something that helps.

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R.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi J.. I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time with your little one's sleep. It really sounds like you're doing EVERYTHING right!!! I'm going to suggest something that you haven't mentioned trying......
It sounds like your daughter's early waking may be from be OVERTIRED.... You may want to try putting your daughter down at night EARLIER than her normal bedtime (like around 7) and see if that may help. Also try extending her naps by 15 minutes every couple of days until she is getting a rest time of at least 1 hour. Even if that means she is just laying there- at least she is resting her body. Children her age need at least 11 hours of uninterrupted night sleep and 1 1/2 to 3 hours of sleep in naps/ day.
Not enough sleep can cause early waking and other sleep problems. Are you using any white noise in her room? A fan is great to block out noise -especially from a new sibling. Also, is her room dark enough? You can get curtain liners at Walmart and they're AWESOME at blocking out light.
If you suspect teething then I'd say to also make sure you're giving her Motrin before bed. If she get's up early give her another dose or maybe some Oragel to help soothe the gums. If this treatment doesn't work it could be she's waking from being overtired.
We use a GREAT book called The Sleepeasy Solution by Jennifer Waldburger. I can't reccomend it enough! It handles every possible sleep problem in children from 4 months until age 5 and has been an invaluable source of information and salvation (from those nasty sleep bumps!!)!
See if your local library can get it for you.
Hope this helps- Good Luck. :-)

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M.R.

answers from Philadelphia on

My son is an early riser when he's teething as well, and yes, it took MONTHS. You should be on 1 nap by now, but you'll need to put her to bed probably an hour early until she gets used to it.

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

Food food food! It's almost always the answer. She needs to eat more all day long-and not just right before bed. Even if she doesn't seem hungry, and you have a full eating routine, TRUST ME, if you feed her more, she will sleep longer.

I learned this trick from my step sister (12 kids) AFTER my daughter was 1 and still waking up 2 times during the night to nurse. She said it ALWAYS works. A totally full child will sleep 10-12 hours. Sure enough, I had my son (who eats TONS) sleeping through the night like a stone by 3 months. When I started feeding my daughter more, she immediately (after a few days while her body registered the fullness) started sleeping long solid nights. I was baffled, because I thought I was feeding her all she wanted already.

Now I constantly feed the kids healthy snacks in addition to all their meals. Anytime we're driving, I hand them food. Any time a little time has lapsed, I hand them food (all heatlhy, and they're thin, even with plenty of whole milk and cheese etc. I keep the calorie count up there with high protiens and whole grain carbs-as well as fruits and veggies-no empty sugary stuff) My mother in law was just here and refused to feed them so often. Sure enough, after a couple of days, my son started waking up 2-3 hours earlier!!!!

Feed her more and wait a few days for it to click with her body.

Some kids don't sleep longer than 10 hours, so if she's going to bed at 7:30, 5 isn't unheard of to be waking up. Once she's sleeping better, I would put her to bed at 8:30 for extra security in the morning. My kids sleep from 10pm-9am. Even my son with his 3 hour naps.

Good work keeping your own sleeping spaces and not bringing her to your bed! Once she's sleeping better, you'll be SO WELL RESTED! I LOVE MY NIGHT TIMES! Long and undisturbed.

Also, always makes sure she gets plenty of physical activity climbing etc during the day and some sunlight so she's tired at night too.

Food food food!

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S.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

J., could she be waking up because she is hungry or thirsty?
Shant'e

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

I don't have a answer J. but perhaps Nicole at this website could help? www.picknicksbrain.com

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi J.,

start your day at 5:00 a.m. with her.

Schedule yourself a nap at the same time as your child.

Good luck. D.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

J.,
This must be very frustrating! I don't think cutting her back to O. nap would be a good thing to do. She's got a very loooooong day and I think her naps should be more like both an hour and a half or two hours. She may actually be over tired by 7:30. And that's why she's waking too early. Kids are weird like that. Once they are past that point of no return, there is nothing but misery! LOL
Could you try putting her down before 7:30? Like 7:00? I know for some families that's just not possible.
When you go in and calm her down & she goes back in the crib--maybe if you do it like 3 or 4 times per morning she will get the idea. Or if the room is still dark, can you feed her and then put her back down?
O. thing I used to do with my son was to play a soft classical lullaby CD on repeat. I think he would wake up, hear the music and assume it was still sleep time. You could try that.
As for the teething, it can take quite some time for teeth to break through. Have you tried teething tablets? They might calm her down as well as take away some discomfort.
Sorry I couldn't be of more help. Good luck to you.

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L.S.

answers from New York on

You're going to get a ton of different opinions on this, since everyone parents differently. So, here's my opinion. At 21 months, it's likely she doesn't need 2 naps anymore, and some kids, like my niece, stop napping at around 24 months. She just may wake up early, and isn't tired enough to go back to sleep. I think at 21 months, it's very hard to stay quiet past 15 or 20 minutes, they don't have that self control yet.

I personally feel you should start by cutting out one of the naps, and let her be a little tired during the day. Eventually, that tiredness will decrease as she sleeps later in the morning.

Your other alternative is just to get up early with her. I just don't think it's fair to expect a 21 month old to be quiet when they wake up for that long - Good luck.

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