Morning Routine Needs Help!

If she's getting up at 5pm, then she needs to be in bed at like 8pm! At least 9 hrs of sleep at that age. Get her black out shades or tape up black trash bags in her windows!

Move her bedtime up. Her age may indicate 9/9:30 pm bedtime but her actions do not. Tell her that she has to start going to be at 8:30 pm and when she can consistantly get up and perform at school then she can gradually work back towards 9:30. If she has to get up at 5, 8:30 is reasonable.

Wow, that is early for the kids and then expect them to spend all day at school alert and paying attention and then have to ride all the way back home, do their homework, eat dinner, bathe and go to bed. Your daughter is exhausted.

That is a long and stressful day for any adult but for children, it would be even harder..

Do they get to play each day? Outside and active?

Your 11 year old really needs 8 to 9 hours straight sleep each night. Children usually go through a growing spurt right as school begins gain during the Christmas Break and again at the end of spring and beginning of summer/ Sleep is something their body craves.

Try to get 11 year old to be in bed by 8:30 and asleep by 9:00. Get her a sound machine or let her listen to books on CD to take her mind off of the things running through her mind.

You all will really need to stick to your schedules. This sounds like a house of cards. If any of them get sick.. the whole thing is going to collapse. Make sure they are taking vitamins too.

My son is 13, and we aim for bedtime at 9:00. Even tho every night isn't perfect, he doesn't argue with me about staying up-some nights he gets there a little later, but we try to get him there close to 9.

I used to think this sounded crazy, until I tried it, and it makes a world of difference. And he doesn't mind either-he also sees that it makes a difference. Mornings are pretty pleasant at our house-I do my best to get their day started well this way.

Have you considered finding a school closer to home? My children went to private school also, so I'm not trying to persuade you to change to public school. It's just that 5 a.m. is extremely early!

I would try an earlier bedtime. She may not like it, but you could probably point out to her in the morning WHY you changed the bedtime. The nights my son piddles around about getting to bed, and then has a hard time waking up, bring on the reminder, "This is why I rush you to bed at 9:00." If it's a good morning, it's good to say, "This is why I rush you to bed at 9:00"! lol

Best wishes!

http://teens.webmd.com/common-sleep-disorders-teens
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/teens-health/CC00019
http://homeworktips.about.com/od/timemanagement/a/sleepti...

Your daughter is a Tween/Preteen, but read these articles.
Sleep deprivation... really affects kids.
And it can impact them behaviorally too.

Oh my goodness - I would change schools! Sorry not the advice you're looking for but 5 am is unfathomable for me. I think we're all doing amazing getting up at 7!! Getting everyone dressed, fed and ready and baby nursed, changed and fed, and out the door by 8:05 am...
I guess this is not helpful but it seems like perhaps this is a little much for your kids. I don't know if you have any options like good school closer to home...

My DD is 12 and she has lights out for sleep time at 9:00. Yes, she complains it is too early (I know some of her friends stay up much later), but too bad. We value a good night's sleep on school nights. She doesn't have to be at the bus stop until 8:45am, so she can sleep pretty late, but often sets her alarm for 6:30. If she doesn't set it or turns it off, most of the time she wakes naturally about 7-7:30. As kids get into their teens they *really* start to cling more and more to sleeping late. Many high schools in our area have adjusted their start times to later based on research that the teen's body clock works much better on a late start schedule. Since you have to get her up so early, I would most definitely get her to bed earlier, especially with what is happening in her first hour. You can't force her to sleep, but if she has to be in bed and have the lights out, chances are she will get more sleep and be more rested for school.

A growing kid needs more than 7.5 hours of sleep ( and is probably getting less if she doesn't fall asleep the second her head hits the pillow). Either she should go to be earlier or try and catch a nap in the car on the way there and home. You could try a school a little closer, too?

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I agree with others about possibly switching schools. There's a growing body of research that shows adolescents learn better later in the morning, which is why many middle schools don't start until 9 a.m. now. And a two-hour commute each day is a lot. As she gets older she's going to (hopefully) become more involved in school and take harder classes and join more activities, meaning more homework and more time at school and less free time. Throw in two hours in a car or bus, and it might become impossible for her to get as much sleep as she needs.

11 is the beginning of puberty for most. Kids actually needs quite a bit of sleep during puberty. Google it for more info. They go back to almost needing as much as a baby - 10+ hours. I would send her to bed earlier. That should help her with falling asleep and also set her attitude straight. Tell her each time she lies or doesn't get up, her bedtime gets pushed up another 15 minutes. If she ends up going to bed at 8, so be it. Also, my teenager went through a stage where he said he just couldn't fall asleep. Well he was going down to the kitchen after dinner and sneaking anything sugary he could find. Then the sugar was keeping him up. Of course, he thinks we're idiots when we tell him the sugar is keeping you up, knock it off! :)

Ouch, 5Am is harsh. I hate to tell you this, but moving her bedtime may not help. I remember in high school I went to bed at 930P every night and I still had difficulty waking at 6AM and would fall asleep in my first 2 classes. It wasn't that I was trying to be difficult when my dad tried to wake me, I really didn't realize that I had fallen back asleep. I would actually dream that I was getting dressed for school only to have him come in and poke me and realize that I was still in bed. Adolescents just have difficulty waking in the morning, which is why some school systems have started flipping when elementary and the high schools start. I don't think this is a case of bad habits. Can you allow her to sleep on the way to school so she gets that extra hour then?

My 9yo and 11yo go to bed at 8-8:30 and get up at 7:00. I know it takes them some time to go to sleep, so they probably don't fall asleep until 8:45/9:00, but I think you need to move their bedtime back to 8pm or earlier if they are going to get up at 5am. Of course she thinks she should be up later, but she's not the parent and you get to make dictator-like decisions when it comes to health and safety ;)

We also don't allow the kids too much time to come to breakfast, they have like 15 minutes to get dressed. In the winter (this doesn't apply to you so much living in the south) they have to have snow pants and boots on before they can even come to the breakfast table. That cuts down on a lot of last minute running around and dawdling.

Yes, here's my advice: be the grown up & start enforcing.

Kids want what they want, whether it's good for them or not. It's YOUR job to know what they need & to make that happen. My son is 12, daughter is 10, they both go to bed Sunday through Thursday at 9pm, no exceptions. If they seem cranky at all in the evening, I send them to bed earlier. I don't care if they don't like it because I make the rules in my house. Easy peasy.

Wow - she doesn't have bad habits - she's exhausted! I don't view this as cause for punishment at all. I'd look into switching schools if you can. 7.5 hours of sleep is not enough (by far) for an 11-year-old, and sleep deprivation can have really negative long-term effects. If you can't switch schools, I guess move up her bedtime. But it's not her fault that she has an hour commute each way and has to get up at 5 - so I wouldn't punish her for trying to get all the sleep she can in the morning.

My daughter just turned 12 yesterday and she gets up early. She goes in her room at 8pm but falls asleep on her own, meaning all the kids go to "bed" at 8pm but they don't have to go to "sleep". They all read, play, draw, etc until they are tired and then they put themselves to bed. So my daughter is usually asleep by 8:30, 9 at the latest. She *thinks* she stays up later but I check on them and they are all asleep before 9pm. They are 15 (spec needs), 12 and almost 9. So yes, she needs to go to bed earlier to make up for having to get up so early. Good luck.

An eleven year old needs more than 7 hours of sleep! (You know she isn't going straight to sleep.) So, of course, she wants to sleep longer and is not doing well in school. She should be getting 9-10 hours of sleep a night - which means going to bed between 7 and 8 pm and the younger kids need even more sleep. Is this private school "really" worth it? And if it is, what could you do to change the morning routine so that ALL of your children could sleep longer. How long does it really take to get ready to leave? How could you shorten the morning routine? What could you do in the evening instead of the morning? (Baths/showers taken, school bags packed, clothes laid out, lunches made, etc.) What could you skip altogether? Could you make a breakfast they could eat in the car? If they ate in the car - it shouldn't take more than a half hour to get ready for school if everything is prepped the night before.

R., she's tired for some reason. And hitting puberty might be the reason. Teenagers need more sleep than elementary aged children. I don't think it's a bad habit. So, I agree, she needs to sleep earlier. As for the grades -- every kid is different and every family is different. I have an ADD son, so if I did this to him on grades, we would be pressuring him too much. If it's not a burden for your kids, well, then do what you are doing. But, if it starts to be a burden, I would say, first try to understand what is going on and be flexible.

I'm wondering how the 11 year old was punished because there has to be something she wouldn't want taken away. Figure out what is meaningful to her and take it away, especially on the weekends.

Also, letting her sleep in on weekends might help a little. Maybe letting her work towards a later bedtime would help. Say if she brings up her grades and shows she can keep to the schedule you (the parents) want then you'll give a trial later bedtime. Also a change in routine may help. If she is staying up till 9:30 struggling with homework, give or hire help because then she has to stay up even later to get ready for the next day. Or if she has no structured routine, come up with one to incorporate dinner, relaxing, homework, bedtime and preparation for the next day.