Mother Doesn't like Boyfriend

I am assuming that her reasoning for not liking him is unjustified & that he hasn't "wronged" you.

I think you need to stop justifying him to her. In doing so, you just look like you're making up excuses to her & she feels vindicated. Tell her that this is the person you love & choose to be with & if she loves you, she will accept him. Tell her that this subject is off limits for good, period. If you need to, take some time away from her until she can accept him This is not her business, nor is it something she can control.

oh that is hard, sorry. well she is your mother so you know best, and you know what you can say to her w/o ruining the realtionship. I would deff. tell her and if possiable w/o the kids and boyfriend around. She does not have to love him, but you do and so do your kids and for their sake she should try to respect that, if he really is a good guy, I mean he loves and supports you all and that should be something for her to think about. maybe you can also remind her of all the nice/good things that he does for your family to. sometimes it is hard to see the good as I am sure she loves you and is trying to look out for you, as long as you assure her that you are happy and he takes care of you maybe that will help too. good luck

I can relate. I'm married now but throughout my dating life (from the time I was a teenager) I had to prepare my boyfriends for my mother. I told them quite bluntly that she wasn't the friendliest woman on the planet and would probably say stuff that would make them mad. Unfortunately my mother just kind of talks, she doesn't have an edit button so you have to be ready for anything with her.
Well suffice it to say she hasn't changed and my husband doesn't like her. She just says stuff and makes him mad. Quite frankly I'm not sure she likes him very much but I honestly don't care.
She has a good relationship with my children and I don't let her stupid comments affect that. I can and do override the dumb ideas she puts in my 7 year old daughter's head and I tell my hubby to bite his tongue.
My advice, talk to your boyfriend, make sure he understands that this is just how your mother is and he just needs to let it bounce off him. Make sure you correct any crazy ideas she puts into your 6 year old's mind and just generally clean up after her as she says stuff you don't like.
If it's to the point that it's affecting your relationships with your boyfriend and your children and/or affecting your health/attitude then it's probably time to cut ties until she learns to play nice. There has to be a line in the sand somewhere and to me relationship wrecking is it.
I hope that helps a little.

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Because I can only go off of what you have posted here I have two thoughts:

My initial thought was maybe your Mother is seeing things you don't. This would assume that your relationship is fairly new and your Mother is a normal woman that has not had issues like this with previous relationships.

However, my Mother in Law saw issues in our relationship that never existed. My husband never said a word to her and now, 11 years later our relationship isn't right. For that reason, I think you need to say something to her. Not hostile, but tell her that you want to be a family and that this is important to work through the differences. It is sad to hear others go through this because of the pain in the relationships that does not need to exist!

Respect and acceptance are two different things. She should (at the very least) respect him as your boyfriend but she doesn't HAVE to accept him. She may, in time.
OR--consider this (based on YOUR mom, and you know her best)...mothers often really DO have good instincts when it comes to their own kids...you do and I'm sure she does too.
That said, sinec you and your boyfriend have a baby together, they will most likely b in contact with each other for quite a few years...they will both have to deal, regardless of what the future brings.

I'm sure your mother has other reasons than he treats the kid differently for not liking him. Have you asked her why she doesn't like him? No matter what you do or say, chances are she'll never like him. However, your mother does need to accept the fact that he is the father of her grandchildren and show him respect for that.

If your uncomfortable going to her house with your BF, then why can't you just go with the kids? What if you just leave the kids (or maybe just the baby) with her for a few hours so she can visit with the grandkids?

Hi, M.:

I would suggest that you and your family get together for a Family Group Decision Making Conference. It would be helpful to allow a facilitator to
help you all restore the relationships with the family to help in raising your baby. You can call ###-###-#### and ask them for more information.

Good luck. D.

Tell her nicely that this is the person you want to be with. I do not think it is right to have your stepdad set you up with other people. You need to tell her this also. You do not need to scream or yell. Tell her you have tried to explain to her how you feel and she does not respect your feelings. Tell her this is how it is and she needs to keep her opinions to herself.

Not to take your Moms side but here goes, is there a chance she is right? I don't agree that if you just had a baby with someone she tries to set you up with someone else so don't get me wrong I am not on your Moms side. Sometimes someone can be so blinded by love they don't see things that are going on.

Good luck to you I really hope you can work out a relationship with your mom but if you can't then maybe you need distance. Sometimes they best way you can love someone is to keep that distance. I know that isn't the popular viewpoint but some people are poison.