Moving :( - Cortland,IL

Updated on January 16, 2012
J.S. asks from Cortland, IL
13 answers

So, thanks to this wonderful housing market, my husband & I have decided we have to short sale our house. We had some unfortunate things come our way & thanks to the lovely housing market, we are unable to modify our mortgage to keep our house. We are 100% ok with this, and think it may actually be a financial blessing in disguise. BUT, we do have 3 young kids--1, 4 & 8. This will all be happening pretty quickly, like within the next 1-2 months.
My questions are...How do we make this transition as easy as we can for the kids?? We will be staying in the area, but in a different town, different school, etc. I'm not too worried about my girls, who are 1 & 4. My 4yr old will be starting school next year, so it's not too much of a change for her. But, my 8yr old. Well, he's been at the same school since kindergarten & is now in 3rd grade. So, it may be a bit harder on him.
And, secondly, what do you find to be the most effective technique for packing?? Obviously I will start with clothes since we won't need any of our warm weather clothes. But, where do I go from there?? We have a fairly large house--4 bedrooms with 2800 sq feet. I don't even know where to begin!!
Any advice on either subject would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance!

**Added**
Yes, he can stay in the same school. With only 4 months left & being only about 10-15 minutes away, I am given the opportunity to drive him to & from school. But it makes me wonder...will this help a bit this year, or make it a harder change for next year??

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I think you should go ahead and leave him at the same school for this school year. It's much harder transferring mid-year. He may have an opportunity over the summer to meet some of the area kids at parks and so forth so hopefully when he starts at the new school he may know a couple of kids and he probably won't be the only "new kid."

As for packing, I HATE IT!!!!! I start with knick-knacks and from there, move into the kitchen and start packing all of the things I don't use on a regular basis (blender, good china, etc.) Then I would move to the closets and pack all of the things you won't need between now and then. Just go room by room and start packing up the things you won't need. As time gets closer, you will be able to pack more and more until all you have left are the things you use regularly/daily.

4 moms found this helpful

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R.D.

answers from Richmond on

Get the kids excited!! My kids LOVE moving (I hate it, but apparently I did a good job here)... get them excited about their new rooms, new yard, new everything! It's an adventure! They're going to feed off your energy, so show them you're confident about this move, and they'll do the same!

Packing... take everything off the walls first. Second, anything seasonal (which is probably already put away), including seasonal clothes. Me personally, I leave about 7-10 days worth of clothes and a duffel bag, then anything else gets packed. Ditto for toys, games, books, etc; leave out a few favorites, pack everything else. Think of it as a vacation; only leave out what you'll need, pack those things last, then make sure they're the first things unpacked at the new place. To make this simple, I don't load these things on the truck, I put them in my car to avoid confusion. Leave a roll of toilet paper in your purse; you'll thank me for this later ;)

Also, if possible, move as much to the new place while you're still living in the house you're in now. It's tough splitting stuff up, but it's easier in the long run.

Just mentally prepare the kids as much as possible. Don't tell them to sit down and say 'hey guys, we need to talk, because we're moving'... at the dinner table, say 'Guess what!! HOW COOL would it be.... (let them guess for a moment)... if you guys got... (let them guess some more)... a brand new, your very own... ROOMS!!' Make it fun and exciting and adventurous; turn it into a game... I promise they'll be on board :)

Good luck!!

5 moms found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Packing's "easy".

Do it BACKWARDS.

Pull out things NOT to pack. A few books, a few favorite toys, a suitcase of clothes for each person. A pot, a pan, things to stir with. A toiletries bag. Yours. Hubby's. Kids. Those are the things you really need (think going on vacation). Everything else just makes life easier/homier.

PACK EVERYTHING ELSE.
((Including non-perishables... it's tempting not to "because I'll need them". If you really need a 60 cent can of beans, or $2 box of noodles... pick one up... don't put off 6 hours worth of packing because you MIGHT need something you can replace for peanuts)).

Going room by room is the most expedient way I've found (kids' rooms last). Eat off paper plates and plastic silverware. Going room by room means that you have an "Ah! Done!" series of moments, instead of helter skelter, and "Did I pack that???" series of moments, and no real idea as to the timeline. Leave the boxes in the room they belong to (kids tend to have fun with the new "furniture", and play hide'n'seek, tag, etc.) and mark what room they belong to. Makes unpacking MUCH easier.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Chattanooga on

If you can drive him to the same school for the rest of the year and its not too big of an inconvenience, I think it will be easier for him. Of course he will still have to transition for next year but by then he will have had the benefit of being able to meet new friends around the neighborhood over the summer. And he has more time to get used to the idea of next year = new school.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

The best thing I can think of is to start with a room and go through clothes, toys and anything else. Put things in stacks for sale that you don't or won't be needing. Do the same for the rest of the rooms in your house. Get rid of any duplicates. Any outgrown toys or clothes can be consigned or CL. Box the items up and label them for each room - eample girls room shoes, winter clothes, linen.

What size house are you moving to? That will tell you what furniture has to go. Basically "gut" the stuff you don't want. It's better to get rid of too much than to haul more than you need to the next stop.

If you have a lot of food in your freezer or pantry start using it up in wierd meals so that it wont' weigh you down when you move.

We usually had about 3 month's notice of a move while hubby was active duty and that time sure flies by fast. So I hope I helped you some. If you can scan all the kid's art projects and put them on a disc or two and save them that way.

Hope you move goes smoothly.

The other S.

PS You will get some other good ideas.

4 moms found this helpful

J.B.

answers from Houston on

For the kids, make the whole deal a 'non-issue'. Don't build up the move to be this big dramatic, life changing event. You may feel it is, and very well may be, but the kids will bounce right back. Keep the lines of communication open for them and get their input when you feel it may help on making a decision about somehthing.
I know it's a big step, we made the same one from Dallas to Houston this past summer. Hang in there and everything will be okie dokie!

4 moms found this helpful

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

I moved an average of every 2 years in school and it was hard and I hated it but on the other hand I learned a lot about people and it really didn't hurt me.
As for moving I always started with pictures in boxes and cleared all the walls, then I put dishes that weren't necessary next and label everything well even to the room they'll go in. Clothes that you don't have to have go in boxes labeled. I put knick knacks next as they are just in the way when moving and then after that you'll be in the mood and it should pick up by you seeing things you don't need and putting them in areas where they will be unloaded together hopefully. Of course I did this with our last move and it was still a nightmare when the day came but it helps a lot. We downsized with our last move and I kept way too much and that was a nightmare as we couldn't use the garage for a year until I unloaded it all so be sure to get rid of all you can't use.
Don't worry about your son adjusting. Kids do much better than we think.

3 moms found this helpful

K.A.

answers from San Diego on

Go and buy a bunch of different colored duct tape. Each room/person gets their own color. This helps so much when unpacking. Or different colored sharpies to label everything with.
Start with all the things you don't use right away. Good china, pictures, nick nacks, clear the shelves bare of books, less often used kitchen gear. Pack away all but the most used shoes, bags, etc. As you get closer move to paper plates and pack the dishes etc.
I hate moving! This is why we do it so rarely. No matter how much I plan it always turns into the mad scramble at the end.

2 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I was a military brat and moved every 2 years on average, including 3 high schools. It is HARD to move in the middle of the year. Is there any way to avoid that? If not, the schools, especially at this age, are great with making kids feel comfortable. He'll have friends to sit with at lunch and at recess on the first day. New kids are normally the favorites in 3rd grade!!

But, will the school district let him finish the year if you drive him? We live near a Navy base and this happens all the time.

As far as packing. You are on the right track. Pack what you can now. Leave out enough pots and pans to cook, only enough plates, silverware, and cups for each of you. Pictures can come off the wall. So basically keep out what you need only.

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

We're former military. SO moving is part of the package.

At 8 it won't be as traumatic as you think, He is still dependent on you for every thing. By the time they are in high school it is a nightmare. It takes about 2 years to "adjust", become part of the new community and not be the new kid on the block.

Be HAPPY!!!!! THis is the best thing that is happening to your family. You don't think so?? Fake it!! Your energy will rub off on him.

Let him be part of the process, let him see the new house or those you are looking at and ask him which one he likes best. Be excited. Last move my kids were on the internet daily looking at houses. We even went to some of them.

As for packing
Get your house organized. Will you be doing it yourself?
Put all your pictures in one place, all glassware in one place. All wood shelves
It's much easier to wrap all the china together even if it belongs in different rooms than to have special boxes of super fragile from every room.
Rent a storeage unit for a couple months. It will cost about $40-$60 a month. It's easier for me to see what I have to pack when I can get books and holiday out.
Get all the Christmas and storage out of the house and garage.
Use towels to pack around things
Pack books in small boxes
GO to Lowes, grocery stores, office stores and ask for boxes
Look online at Craigslist for boxes of someone who just moved, or freecycle.
Buy paperplates, cups and silverware for the move dates.
Pack the kitchen last, and unpack it first.
Put eveyrhting the kids don't need away, all stuffies, toys--how many trucks need to be out, maybe 2.
Pack dishes on end, not flat.
Get a dolly or rent one from UHaul
Unscrew the legs off the tables and pack quilts around the table tops
Tape all screws and hardware to the underside or in drawers
Buy some newsprint form UHaul, it is cleaner than newspaper and really is a good buy
Startting right now do not buy anything that will last in the pantry for more than a week. Start eating eveyything in the house.
Starting up a kitchen takes about $300. That is if you don't move it.
If you are using a moving company they will not move candles, liquids, fire implements (matches, lighters, flints)

Leave your son in his school for now and make a clean break for 4th grade. THis summer get him involved in some sports in his new community, summer swim team, soccer, baseball.

Do one section at a time, and be excited.

Oh this is a great time to purge what you really don't need or want.

2 moms found this helpful
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H.1.

answers from Des Moines on

I had to move when in 4th grade, 9th grade, and 11th. 9th by far was the hardest (starting high school!) 4th was by far the easiest. In fact, I remember being very excited about moving somewhere new. How does your son feel about the move and how much does he know? I would almost consider having him start at his new school to finish out the year. It would give him time to meet kids and make friends so that he can know kids to play with over the summer time and be excited about starting a new year. This helped me in 4th grade - I transferred mid year and my mom had that same mindset. I made a bunch of friends and had a great summer instead of a lonely and nervous one. Of course, I think this depends on your son and how he copes with changes, anxiety etc. Good luck to your family!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Jacki, when you say you have decided to short sale your house. Does that mean its in fore closure or your bank has agreed to take a short sale price? It takes a long time to get a short sale approved. you may not have to move right away. We listed our house and it was listed for a long time before the bank approved short sale. Even when they had approved short sale they have to approve the short sale each time lots of hoops to jump thru. most of the time they never approve the short sale price as they can get more by letting it land in foreclosure. Don't jump out and move. When this was going on for us we though since we couldn't pay the mortgage we had to get out quick. turned out the house sat empty from august 2008 til december of 2009. we moved out when we couldn't pay the payments anymore and moved into a smaller house we rented. the real estate guy told us that we should have stayed where we were. it takes close to a year for the foreclosure to happen. just some fyi so check things out before making the decision to move quickly. you can probably get thru the rest of the school year before making a move. that way you can move over the summer and get them settled in the new place before the school year starts next fall

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L.M.

answers from Chicago on

The only thing I would add about packing that I didn't see the others post is for actual moving day - pack a suitcase like you are going to a hotel for a couple days. Important toiletries & bathroom stuff, clothes, towels etc.

When we moved I thought I'd remember what box all this stuff was in, but when we got to the new place I was wondering around in my pjs in the morning looking for some clothes to put on and my shampoo and soap - with a whole house to unpack waiting for me - ugh. Lesson learned!

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