Has anyone actually moved (or seriously considered moving) because of terrible neighbors? We have lived in our house for five years, we LOVE the neighborhood, my daughter is very close to the girl next door (although she's 6 and the other girl is 9, so some day that might change) and we are within walking distance from several important summer activities for us.
However, it's a duplex. Our neighbors in the duplex (single mom, son who's 5)...well, he's very naughty. My husband has banned him from our half of the yard, but that just creates tension between me and his mother (I got along with her okay)...and whenever all the kids are out, our daughter isn't allowed to play with him, so it's this big divide. All the kids can be in our half of the yard, and he isn't allowed in (for good reason, but still...makes me feel awful!)
Two houses very near us also are CPS or DEA cases waiting to happen. Babies wearing the same diaper (and only that) outside all day long, older children hitting rocks at cars...that's across the street...and neighboring us by one house are a bunch of abused/neglected children who literally live in a "Hoarders" filthy disgusting house...and these children always want to come to our yard to play.
I am just getting overwhelmed by all of the craziness...and it's a nice neighborhood, too...but we just are on the wrong end of the block, I guess! I feel so bad for all the children, have called, nothing is ever done...and we would just like some peace in our own yard sometimes. They are like buzzards...and I feel bad telling them "no, don't come play" because they're just stuck outside their own house all day.
So, sorry this is so long...we want to move. Because of this. Is that totally silly? Also, our daughter would really, really miss her friend (who's family is wonderful)...she is homeschooled, so this girl is absolutely her best friend.
Oh, I just want to thank you all SO much for all your answers and encouragement. My husband has been saying "We should move!" for almost two years because of this stuff, but it's just such an overwhelming process...and I am so settled here, etc. But it really sounds like everyone agrees with him (and I'm beginning to, despite the stress of moving)...and I like that so many of you pointed out that it could potentially be a huge stress reliever. Going to start checking into new places today...and everyone, again, thanks so much.
Its not silly. Its completely reasonable, if you can afford to move. As for the best friend, that is what telephones and play dates are for...
If you are renting and homeschooling then it makes a lot of sense to move. If it effects the quality of you life that much then it is worth it.
Actually, I have moved because of bad neighboors. Not for the same reason you want to, however, but it has the same feelings and outcome. Having bad neighboors can make you pretty upset with where you live and can even cause depression or make you resent the whole house itself. I had neighboors that were contantly coming over, coming in without asking, two of our neighboors daughter's tried stilling my boyfriend (now my husband), used us, etc. I really dont think i would have moved ever if it hadnt of been for my neighboors cause i was in a really nice house. But the difference is: I lived in a nice house but was always aggrivated or upset. I live in a small trailer with great neighboors and am completely stress free.
We sure did move. We lived in years. It was fine until some lady and her moved in. They were so trashy. Breaking glass, littering, putting house furniture on their porch and playing ridiculously loud music during the day, play knocking on residents doors and running, out way late at night keeping up lots of noise, trying to destroy other parts of the property. The mom even drove across the lawn in her van! They did even more things and we reported them several times as did other tenants. The manager said he witnessed many of those things, yet he did nothing, so we bought a house and got out of Dodge! Oh and of course I agree that you should call CPS ASAP!
It's always best to move if you dont like your neighbors because chances are they arent goin nowhere.
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We sold our house and moved because my daughter was being tormented in our own yard. The one little girl pushed my daughter off her monkey bars & cracked her front tooth when she wasn't even 3 but what really did it was when she spit in my daughter's face. The parents did nothing & the next day the "for sale sign" was up. People thought we were crazy, but I wasn't going to be a prisoner in my own house, turns out their disabled sister ended up dying at the hands of the parent's neglect, eventhough my husband had reported them to DFYS. It was a sad situation because they are a bunch of potheads that ruined it for a lot of people, but I was not going to tolerate just ignoring them. It's a hard thing to do, but you truly have to think of your children because one thing we considered was that if we stayed at our house, other parents wouldn't allow their children to come play w/our daughter because of these others. Best of luck to you.
Definitely move you will be so happy you did. We were in a similiar situation and I was so unhappy with the neighborhood and parenting styles of many of the neighbors. I would dread coming home after work and having the street and my yard swarming with unruly and uncared for kids. I knew I wanted better for us and my 2 yr old daughter. The right opportunity knocked and we moved into the the most unbelievable town and neighborhood. My stress level went down immediately and I so enjoy just being home and enjoying our quiet yard. What a difference a neighborhood can make in your life.
You are doing the right thing. You need to do what's right for you & your family. We pay a lot for our homes, and we need to be able to enjoy them and not have the stress and annoyance of bad neighbors! You can stay in touch with the friends you liked on your street. Good luck!
No, I don't think it's silly. My parents moved us when we were kids because the people who moved into the house behind us were obnoxious. They started letting lots of junk/trash pile up in the yard. They regularly lifted their 3yo daughter over our fence to play in our backyard. Their older kids were constantly swearing, and one even let a snake into our backyard. They didn't want us growing up in that kind of environment.
I would for sure move if I were you. You could have a much less drama filled life elsewhere. Your daughter could still see her bff by meeting up at parks or your new house. You are NOT being silly.
All I can think of is that you are wearing rose colored glasses. The neighborhood you are describing is not a good neighborhood. I live in a good neighborhood but it's not a wealthy one. It's a place where I can leave my purse on the deck all night and still have money and contents the next morning. If I leave the doors open on the van they are closed the next morning and my battery is still good. People who walk up and down the street are quiet and respectful to my property all the time.
I have some friends at church who saved and saved to make a down payment and then built their dream home. White carpet throughout, huge formal dining room, huge walk in closets in each room, a tub in the master bedroom that a brownie troop could swim in, washer and dryer upstairs, triple garage...you name it...they built it.
They were only able to live in this home for about a year. The neighbor made their life hell, he kept taking them to court over silly stuff like leaves falling in his yard, the whole neighborhood was filled with huge oak and maple trees. He complained about every little thing.]]They eventually had enough and moved to a rental to just get away from these neighbors. The neighborhood they moved to is nice, not wealthy but pretty nice.
The neighbors in the new place are wonderful and have been very welcoming. It was worth every penny they thought they had lost.
Wow, I am sorry you live in such a chaotic neighborhood. It sounds like the kids are just reaching out for anyone to help them. I would continue to call cps and all other state agencies to get them to do something about it. Your situation seems horrible and ackward with the neighbor who can't come on your side to play but you allow all the others??? Is there any way you would reconsider this and try to work with the family? What did he do that made you feel this way? I can completely understand you wanting to move---I would consider it and start looking. Home should be peaceful and a place of rest. If you don't feel that way in your home,look into other options. Best wishes!
M
I am in the process of moving now. Our neighbors are great for the most part. However, our neighborhood is slowly getting taken over by college students and rentals. As the old timers die, the families just rent out to whomever. There are other reasons for our move, as well. But our home was bought as a starter home seven years ago, and it's time to get out while we can still sell. So to answer your question- No, tt's absolutely not silly. Do what your gut tells you to do.
Maybe you should but if it were me, you move AFTER YOU call CPS! If you know they are abused/neglected, don't enable it, CALL CPS! I completely forgot about your yard fiasco as soon as you started mentioning how these poor kids are living... no offense because I love your posts/questions (sorry if it came across offensive at all).
And yes I would move :o) You could still be near enough for them to play together. Are you close with her mother?
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I have lived in my home since 1973 when my first husband and I bought it. Some renters next to us caused me to live a nightmare. I started having severe anxiety and panic attacks. We called the landlord, the township the police time after time. These people broke just about every Section 8 rule and it took at least 8 months to get them out. The landlord said we were predjudice (we are caucasion and so are they?) since we are both the same race how can that be, he claimed we ran every family he put in there off this was only the second renters and the first were selling drugs but we didn't know that and never had a problem with them, the Mom claimed we didn't like them because their grass wasn't as nice as ours OK so you probably get my point abou them. Anyway if you can and want to move then that is probably the best solution but if you like where you are then get then stay and fight make them move. I refused to move from the home I raised my kids in. Good luck to you.
Our theory is..........If you can't get along with your neighbors... Move.
We built our house in 2000 and fortunately we have good neighbors. Our first neighbors moved. Mom and dad were huge gossipers, picked up an anything to talk about others and trash others to neighbors. We are in a higher end neighborhood.
Icing on the cake was when they bragged about the $$ they would make by "slipping and falling" in a store, etc. At that point they were not invited to anyone's house because we all knew someone would eventually be sued. They moved not too many months after that slip of the tongue.
Right now, everyone gets along and things are great and have been since this neighbor left about 7 yrs ago.
Do you rent? If you do then you're in a GREAT position right now. You might qualify for First Time Homeowners programs and it's a buyer's market right now. Get out of there. We would have stayed in our townhouse longer if not for the fact that it rapidly went downhill quickly. I won't bore you with the details but it just wasn't safe there any more and I had to call the police regularly, and I didn't even feel comfortable driving in and out of the street with my children in the car. I had high anxiety at night when my husband was at work.
Bad neighbors only get worse. And the children of bad neighbors, when they're bad children, grow up. Remember that. And they bring in another bad element.
we moved, and are glad we did. The drama never ends.
I think that it's just part of living in a shared building with common areas. Moving into a house with your own yard might alleviate some of that, but there will be crappy parents & attention starved kids no matter where you go.
As far as your daughter, she will make other friends no matter where you live. And besides, do you really want her growing up around all that mayhem & it's thinking it's normal?
Set up a flag system.
Red for no friends in the yard.
Green for friends in the yard.
Then you can have friends over when you want.
Wait for the market to improve and get out.
LBC
