My 1 1/2 Yr Old Is Hitting and I Need Help!

Hi Lindsy, Unfortunately I don't have any help except that I have 2 year old that still hits...and he started at about 1 1/2. I have tried everything. I think the best we can do is just keep telling them its wrong and you don't hit. I tried time out every time he hit...but it just seem to take away the idea of Time Out because he was so use to being in them he would hit me then put himself in a time out...lol...so that did nothing. Good luck to you :)

Sounds like you are already doing the right thing. Redirection is best for her age, though. If she is hitting hard and/or in anger, holding her hands and making it clear it's hurtful and not OK is the perfect thing to do. If she is being playful, distract her with something else-- doing so will not give her any attention from the hitting (better than ignoring) and since there is no "pay off" of attention there will be no reason to continue doing it. For example, if she starts to hit at you to be playful, grab a ball and see if she wants to throw it or grab a book and see if she wants to read with you, or whatever will interest her and make her forget that she was starting to hit

First, understand that the hitting is very normal. Even if they aren't exposed to hitting, sometimes kids do it. 1.5 years is hard because you know they understand a lot, but the problem is they don't have self control. That develops closer to 3. So what do you do? At that age, I had a few strategies.

1. Redirection. She goes to hit you playfully and you catch her and say, "Alright! Give me a high 5!"

2. Distraction. She playfully hits and you ignore it and ask her to get a book or her blocks or sing a song for you.

3. Tell her what she can do. "Hitting hurts, we don't hit. If you're mad, hit a pillow/stomp your feet/clap your hands/say Mommy, I'm mad!/etc."

4. Gently remind her "Hands are not for hitting, they are for giving high fives/for petting the cat/for playing patty cake/etc. There is a book on Amazon called Hands Are Not For Hitting and it tells you what hands are for. Maybe reading this everyday will reinforce things.

5. If she hits you, I think it is ok to tell her, "I do not like to be hit. Hitting hurts, I like hugs and kisses better." If you get a hug or kiss make a big deal about it. If she keeps hitting, repeat, "I do not like to be hit." and walk away for a couple minutes.

All or some of these might help you. I'm not big on time out, especially at that age, so I didn't suggest it. There are so many other things you can do to teach your child to behave other than plopping them in their crib or highchair for 1.5 minutes and listening to them cry for doing an age appropriate behavior. I didn't use time out until my daughter was well over 2.5 and then, very sparingly. That's just my preference. I know you'll get that as a suggestion from other moms though.

Good luck! Just say consistent in addressing the issue and this phase will pass. =)

I have a 3 year-old girl, and a 4 year-old boy. When they were around that age hitting was the 'new' fun thing to do. Especially my son, when his sister learned to start crawling around, and play with his toys. I've read a lot of info on this and it seems to be compleatly normal, especially when something dramatic happends in their life, (ie: your hubby leaving for the season)...my son's problem was his new sister.

What to do about it? I learned from babycenter.com and super nanny, and myself that the first thing to do is to stearnly warn them. MAKE sure they have your attention! If they laugh, or hit again (try to keep calm)put them in time-out. Even though they seem young, my son sat at that time-out chair for one minute (one minute per year of age). You can use a matt, blanket- whatever will make them stay put. If they get off put them back until they get it. (May take some frustrating minutes!) Don't talk to her! Just place her back in time-out and leave. IF you get to that point when time-out has been compleated, get down to her level and tell her why she is in time out. Ask if she understands, if 'yes' then hug and kiss. Will only take a few times, but by the week's end IF YOU ARE CONSISTANT with the discipline she should be a lot better! Good luck- let me know how it goes....this is the first step of her testing you...and you seeing her reaction to change...keep it up!
E.

I know exactly how you feel. I went through this stage when my son was 15 months old. I have an older son that is 9 and they would play fight. I think that's what started it with mine. Mine got so bad that I had to take him out of a Moms Day Out program at my Church because he was in time out all day. He never hit out of anger, he was doing it to play. When I saw him hit, I would pretend to cry and then I would make him give whoever a hug. I would explain that it gives someone BIG BOO BOO's when you hit. That seemed to work..with mine. I used to tap his hand, but then I thought.."That's what I'm telling him NOT to do". It's very important not to send mixed signals to a little one. Now my son is 2.5 and he's talking, so now he is using his words. That is also a huge problem with some toddlers, they are trying so hard to communicate. Hang in there, it will pass and it is a stage. I know it is a very hard stage and you feel like you are the only one. YOU are not...Good luck, you sound like a very caring Mom, your daughter is lucky to have you.

See ChildrensBehaviourHelp.com, they have amazing practical things,
best of luck-k

I have read what the others have written and it's all good advice. But I would make it clear to my husband that the play fighting is not allowed any longer.....He comes home, has fun with her and leaves you with the rest to handle. That is so totally wrong.

I think its completely normal behavior at 1 1/2 and really nothing to worry about. Continually holding her hands and saying no will work in the long run. I bet she looks up at you a little surprised she is being reprimanded! I have a 3 yr old ( stopped after a few months) that did this and I also have a 14 month old that is doing it now. She will stop very soon!

just a lot of patience, she should grow out of it.

Hang in there, dear. You are doing the right thing.
Keep telling her "enough". You don't have to be frustrated, because you are in charge. It's frustrating but you must keep your cool and live through this stage.