My 14 Month Old Is Throwing Horrible Tantrums?

great advice from Tracy's response. that is exactly how to handle him and you will see his behavior change slowly. the calm, soft voice is the most important and most effective. sometimes the tantrums and behavior will get worse before it gets better...but BE CONSISTANT with your actions. EVERY tantrum/fit, EVERY time!!! that is key, and i guarantee you he will become a different behaving little boy. that goes for your husband also. AND make sure both of you r on the same page and react to his actions IN THE SAME WAY... you both must stay consistant with your son as well as with each other.. dont give in even 1 time, cuz your son will pick up on it and all of your hard work will be gone in just the blink of an eye... believe me, been there, done that, and learned the hard way!!!!! Our family counselor gave us great advice, recommendations, and ideas........BUT the most memorable & important words that she told us was.....CONSISTANCY IS THE KEY. if you are not consistant with your child, dont expect him any other behaviors from him than what you are presently getting. communicate efficiently and effectively with hubby, generate a plan, and STICK TO IT!!!!!! good luck....

Tantrums are tough, especially in public. My 2 1/2 year old is going through the tantrum phase. Different things work for him at different times. I try really hard to intercept with him, and distract him before things start. He was having tantrums at the store because he wanted me to carry him and I wouldn't. Rather than give up and carry him, the compromise we came up with is that he sits in the big part of the cart and puts everything inside. He is Cart Captain.

Once he gets started though, I just try to stay calm. Sometimes, just taking him outside helps. If he is hurting you, tell him to stop, and put him down. Don't worry about what others think when the tantrum is going on, only about your son. Giving in to please the people in the store around you is not the answer. They may be happy when he is quiet, but you can expect another tantrum to happen next time. He has to learn that he is not going to get what he wants because he is screaming.

And as for those nasty people, I have said some nasty things right back to them. Once, I was at a restaurant, and my son started screaming because they didn't have milk. A pregnant woman was giving me nasty looks because I was ignoring the tantrum. I said to her, "You've never seen a screaming kid before? You better get used to it." It's always people that you think would have some empathy.

Just remember, wherever you are, there is undoubtly more than one of us who have been through the same exact thing. And we're pulling for you! He will get over it. I know it seems like it's just never going to end, but if you take a hard line now, he'll learn. If you give in, then you're going to have to deal with tantrums for a lot longer.

Dear E.,

This sounds like you need to talk to the doctor - seriously - but first, try letting him cry out his tantrums at home for a while. Just to see if he needs to do that. Maybe this is just a hard time for him as he develops. Keep the noise level as low as you can at home, just a small suggestion. Who knows. Human beings are very complicated. Maybe quiet music in his room as he goes to sleep, that will sort of drown out the other noises of the house and give him something to concentrate on that is soothing.

But, do try to evaluate him at other times too. Watch his reactions to playing with brothers and other children or when you are reading to him. Go on line and read about autism - sorry - maybe not, but it is better to investigate.

Sometimes being out of the house is too much stimulation for children who are very sensitive .

good luck, maybe it is a passing fancy. C. N.

Sounds like my daughter. I have a 2 year old that has amazingly strong emotions compared to my first daughter. I was totaly shocked at the amount of physical aggression that came with her tantrums. What I've found to help me understand her is- it's normal and it pass's. Also, knowing her "positive" emotions are just as strong helps me to realize that's it's just who she is. Advice, It could be he's just frustrated that his mind and body can't keep up with what he wants to do, which is probably what his older brothers are doing. Try and stay with him sit next to him, hold him if he'll let you, if not just give him physical space but use a calm voice to tell him when he's ready you can hold him. Also, let him know that you can't allow him to hurt you so you are putting him down (that is if you are holding him of course.) This course of action has helped me to feel like I'm more of an effective parent w/ my 2 year old and she's gotten used my treatment of her tantrums and now knows what to expect from me.
Good Luck,
T.